Stop offending us.
We’re all different, right? Right! So it’s no surprise that there are lots of different reactions to climate change. But here’s a new one: offense. Imagine saying it. “I’m offended by climate change.” What does that even mean? Imagine being offended by science. That’s like being offended by chairs, or zippers or sticking plasters. Oh well, there’s no legislating for idiots. The only thing you can really do is laugh. So have a giggle: here are four people who are so offended by the facts of science, and a little helping hand from two people who are not.
Senator Jeff Sessions is offended by climate change.
Senator Barbara Boxer: “…97 to 98 percent of the scientists do not agree with the one to two percent that you’re citing. You know, it’s fine, there’s still probably one to two percent of scientists who don’t believe that lung cancer is associated with smoking.”
Senator Jeff Sessions: “Madam Chairman, I am offended by that.”
John Coleman, founder of The Weather Channel, is offended by climate change.
“It is the greatest scam in history. I am amazed, appalled and highly offended by it. Global Warming; It is a SCAM.
Some dastardly scientists with environmental and political motives manipulated long term scientific data back in the late 1990’s to create an allusion of rapid global warming.”
Rush Limbaugh is offended by everything, including climate change.
“The militant environmental movement since the early nineties is simply the new repository for displaced communists after the Berlin Wall fell and the Soviet Union went bye-bye. Anti-capitalist, it’s all they are, just like the feminists, just another anti-capitalist movement, pro-socialist, pro-Marxist, pro-big government, that’s all they are.”
Senator James Inhofe is offended by climate change.
“God’s still up there. The arrogance of people to think that we, human beings, would be able to change what He is doing in the climate is to me outrageous.”
Stephen Fry is not offended by climate change.
“It’s now very common to hear people say, “I’m rather offended by that,” as if that gives them certain rights. It’s no more than a whine. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. ‘I’m offended by that.’ Well, so fucking what?”
Charlie Brooker is not offended by climate change.
“I hate offended people. They come in two flavours – huffy and whiny – and it’s hard to know which is worst. The huffy ones are self-important, narcissistic authoritarians in love with the sound of their own booming disapproval, while the whiny, sparrowlike ones are so annoying and sickly and ill-equipped for life on Earth you just want to smack them round the head until they stop crying and grow up. Combined, they’re the very worst people on the planet – 20 times worse than child molesters, and I say that not because it’s true (it isn’t), but because it’ll upset them unnecessarily, and these readers deserve to be upset unnecessarily, morning, noon and night, every sodding day, for the rest of their wheedling lives.”