So there’s this guy who’s put you in the friend zone – and you want to break free.
You want to break free because the only time he stares at you longingly is when he thinks you have something in your teeth. There’s also nothing more frustrating than going out and watching him look past you to check out the girl behind you. Besides, if Seth Cohen can make it out of the friend zone then so can you… right?
RIGHT. Here are 7 counterproductive-on-the-surface strategies that will help you achieve former friend zone status:
1. Show you’re wanted
He’s not going to look at you as a fine piece of… well, you know, until he notices other guys are doing it. I’m not saying turn yourself into a hair-twirling, gum-chewing Kelly Bundy or anything, but do flirt it up! One, you’re supposed to because you’re awesome, and two, it’s the perfect opportunity to gauge his reaction without putting your heart on the chopping block.
2. Let him come to you
We have this tendency of giving 100 percent of ourselves to our relationships – even when we’re not getting the same in return. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my past dating experiences (whether in the friend zone or not), never put in more than you receive. It won’t set a good precedent for when you do hook up, because he’ll expect the dynamic to stay that way. In other words, say goodbye to your identity as you know it.
3. Keep your dating life out of the convo
There’s two benefits to this strategy. The first is that you won’t have to refrain from gagging every time he talks about the girls he’s been hooking up with. The second is that in not mentioning your dating life, he’ll become curious and will find the air of mystery attractive (“An area of her life that doesn’t include me? Oh no you di’int!”).
4. Be unavailable
As much as you want to lunge at your phone every time he calls, resist the urge. It gives him the chance to realize how much he enjoys your company when you’re not there. Give him the opportunity to pursue you for a change. It’s ridiculous, but true: The more you act like you don’t want him, the more he’ll want you. It’s rule number one of the Playboy handbook we all fall for. Sigh.
5. Body language it up
I’m not talking over-the-top, giggling-while-touching-his-arm body language. I’m talking just enough to show he has your full attention, but that your attention is fleeting. If you used to dote on him, this will totally throw him for a loop – and he’ll likely miss what he didn’t know he had.
6. Casually bring it up
You don’t have to be so obvious about wanting out of the friend zone as to give him a Valentine that says, “I choo-choo-choose you.” You can take a subtle approach to gauge where he’s at without threatening the amazing lack-of-awkwardness you have with each other. For example, talk about your overall dating goals and casually ask him what he’s looking for. The best thing about his answer is you won’t have to read between the lines: When it comes to how guys communicate, what you see is what you get.
7. Focus on you
Your life was pretty awesome before he waltzed in – so keep it that way. Do everything you’ve always done and then some. In amping up the quality of your life and how you run it, he’ll want to be a part of it. Let’s face it: There’s nothing more attractive than a confident woman who has her shit together.
Disclaimer: I’m not saying that in using these friend zone strategies you’ll definitely get the guy, but that they’ll help you gauge how he feels about you while maintaining the fabulousness that is you.
What strategies have you used to get out of the friend zone?
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