Flying the Unfriendly Skies with New Airline ‘Security’ Measures

by Luanne Bradley on December 30, 2009 in News & Culture

Removing shoes, getting scanned and patted down doesn’t cut it anymore amid tightened airport security following the attempted terrorist attack on Christmas Day. Now, we’re being told to “hold it” during the last hour of flight, and the flying public is understandably pissed off.

While there are plenty of green remedies for bladder infections, there is little to placate the anger and stress resulting from the ridiculously long lines and humiliating security steps all resulting from the human factor: the government and airport employees did not do their job to keep a potential bomber off of a commercial plane.

This, despite the fact the would-be bomber paid cash for his ticket, had no luggage, and was reported dangerous by his own father, a prominent Nigerian banker. Sure, we can sit still for an hour, but not for months to come when we are forced to pay the price of incompetence.

Use of restrooms is a health and human rights issue. My bladder hurts just thinking about it. It’s bad enough we can’t use the toilets in most stores where we shop and spend money, let alone on an airplane where we’re trapped. No Starbucks down the street or other place to go, instead.

Referred to as a “smokescreen” by CBS News, the tightened security restrictions are seen as a knee-jerk reaction to the attempted attack on Friday. Nigerian suspect, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, was flying from Nigeria to Amsterdam and then the U.S. when he tried to ignite the highly explosive PETN substance he had hidden in a soft plastic container on his person as the Northwest Airlines prepared to land in Detroit.

Passengers arriving on international flights were treated like naughty children, ordered to stay put in their seats during the last hour and not use blankets to cover their laps or their babies. They had to refrain from opening overhead bins to get their stuff and keep their hands in clear view.

CBS Travel Correspondent Peter Greenberg argues the one-hour flight rules are merely a bad camouflage attempt for not dealing with the real issues of how the guy cleared security in Nigeria and twice in Amsterdam, and was still able to board the airliner.

“The real problem here is that, tomorrow, if someone tried to detonate a bomb on a plane and right before he detonated it, he sang, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) would issue a rule tomorrow saying no singing on a plane.”

Therefore, if someone roots through their carry bags or socks or steps into the bathroom before trying to explode a plane, we the passengers should not be allowed to do those things because it is now deemed a security risk. Passengers are sounding off about the measures, including letters in the L.A. Times that argue Americans are tired of paying the price of failed screening and lapses in human intelligence.

“We are so inept that instead of proactively listing people like Abdulmutallab on no-fly lists, we must torture the traveling public by denying them the use of the restroom,” wrote William Josephs of Encino, Calif. “During recent years, I have given up flying almost entirely, especially since the nonsense with the shoes began. Liquids were next, and now, woe be unto the poor individual suffering from gastric distress on any descending airplane.”

Another letter said it is ironic that we are told to stay seated to keep the plane safe, while “in every flight since 9/11 it is the passengers, up and wandering about the cabin, who have provided the only effective defense against terrorism. It is clear that there is only one requirement for joining the management team at the TSA: You must have first failed an IQ test.”

Images: Los Angeles Times, CNN

Eric Everlong
December 30th, 2009 at 11:36 AM
Oh, that’s not all, my parter in Los Angeles overheard a meeting the other day where they are talking about having the passengers change into “Flight Gurneys”, similiar to hospital gurneys, prior to boarding. Here are some of the other proposals that are being talked about:
1) All passengers must change into 2 piece “Flight Gurneys”
2) No carry-ons allowed, including computers and cell phones (airline approved magazines will be available to read 1 hour into flight and must be put away 1 hour before landing)
3) At the discretion of flight attendants, any passenger exhibiting unusual behavior or are argumentative may be physically restrained to their armrest using 2 inch velcro straps, for the duration of the flight, upon landing, passenger will be interviewed by security before taken off restraints and placed on the future watchlist.
4) Liquor sales will be limited to 1 alchoholic beverage, the price will go from $5 to $10
5) You will be allowed 1 bathroom break per 5 hours of flight with a 3 minute timer, set by the attendants, on the restroom door that automatically unlocks and is ajar at the end of the 3 minutes
6) Passengers will not be allowed to speak to the captain or co-pilot and will only have limited interaction with flight attendants
7) Seat switching will not be allowed and will be reported to security, passengers who violate this rule may be restrained for the durationi of the flight.
You will need to pay attention during inflight safety demonstrations, failure to do so may result in your behavior looked upon as suspicious and thus being reported to the lead flight attendant and security during the flight prior to landing
Think it’s not going to happen?….Think again as your rights evaporate into thin air……Happy Flying and Good Luck!!
Luanne Bradley
December 30th, 2009 at 2:59 PM
wow. Makes the Greyhound look pretty good.
J. Lynne
January 4th, 2010 at 2:46 PM
During my flight home the Tuesday after Christmas, I was suffering a bit of motion sickness (having had an emergency appendectomy approx. 2 weeks previously). I guess I overstayed my welcome in the lavatory because just as I began to wash my hands, the lights turned off and all I was left with was the emergency light. It was quite startling.
I suppose I had been in that 1×1 room about 5 minutes and the whole time I had been thinking about the poor man with the digestive issues on the flight after the bomber who’d been in the lavatory for 40 minutes and had been accused of being a terrorist because of it. I just kept thinking how small the room was and why would anyone spend one second more than he/she had to in there? I can’t imagine what took the bomber so long in that little space — all he had to do was pour some liquid on his pants after all. Obviously, he really was unstable, because those of us with stomachaches and emergent needs of the lavatories really have no desire to stay in there and turning the lights off really does not help the situation.
(Oh, and the reason I read books and listen to music on the plane, especially around take off and landing is because I have a fear of flying and those things help me feel less anxious, but I’m not allowed to listen to my CD/MP3 player anymore because it might interfere with the plane’s controls — so now they plan to take away my books and magazines and force me to sit in silence and think about crashing in a fiery ball…)
The other thing that occurred on that flight — it was a domestic flight — is that a man with a ten year old daughter, asked how much longer it was going to be and the male flight attendant replied, “I’m sorry but we are no longer allowed to tell anyone in America where we are.” Thus, condemning the country to a continual state of lostness.
For the last 10 years I have watched in astonishment as this world has turned into an idiocracy. I am flabbergasted as to how to make change, intelligent change. So much change needs to be made and it seems overwhelming — much like the cleaning that needs to be done at my house — and clearly the people in office are not the ones who are going to be making the changes that need to be made. Every time something happens — something like this latest event — I hope it will be the catalyst to clear, intelligent thinking from someone in power, but…it’s as if the faces change but the message remains the same. Oh, sure, there’s a little tweak — take off you’re shoes to be safe; soda on the outside of security might be a bomb, but for an extra $2 on the other side of security it’s safer; orange is the new safe; Afghanistan is the new Iraq; we’re safe if we all sit in boring, mind-numbing, anxiety-laden, detention-like mode on the plane for an hour before the plane lands and, God-forbid, we feel suspiciously fidgety.