Susan Goldberg

Articles by Susan Goldberg:

Mark Zuckerberg Kills His Own Meat: Hipster Hunting Trend in 3, 2, 1…

ColumnThe founder of Facebook vows to eat what he kills. Like?

Mark Zuckerberg has just announced his intention to only eat “that which he kills with his own bare hands.” It’s hard to discount any idea that springs from the mind of the guy who dreamed up Facebook while he was still a teenager. But I’m having trouble deciding if this slay-your-own-entree idea is The Next Big Thing, or if it’s merely evidence that earning a billion dollars in your early twenties can turn you into a major head case.

The Goldberg Variations: Gender Profiling at the Multiplex

ColumnIt turns out that chick flicks are not always woman-friendly.

My husband and I were sitting in a dark theater watching a movie I had chosen, which meant it was a pretty standard indie flick, a wordy, self-conscious exploration of feelings, relationships, and female empowerment, played out at a glacial pace by anemic-looking actors from a former Soviet Republic. About an hour into it, my husband, Bob, leaned over and whispered, “When does the car chase start?”

In our daily lives, Bob and I try to break down stereotypes and model …

The Goldberg Variations: How Green Are the Ivies?

ColumnAs the saying goes, “Girls go to college to get more knowledge,” but do they care if their schools are eco-friendly?

My poor, misguided parents somehow failed to realize that getting me into a decent college was supposed to be their mission in life. In fact, they had practically no involvement at all in my college search, a process which was, by today’s standards, incredibly short and sweet. As a high school senior, I cut school with three friends and visited two colleges in one day. I chose those …

The Sexual Politics of Dinner

After two decades of making dinner, I am finally ready to cook like a man.

The day my father died was the day my mother officially stopped cooking. From that point on, she might scramble an egg or make a tuna fish sandwich, but she would never again prepare what could be considered a proper meal, one with a protein, a starch and a vegetable. This was not a protest or a manifestation of extreme grief, it was merely her way of declaring a formal and definitive end to an era. …

The Goldberg Variations: So Much for the Afterglow

ColumnA crackling fire makes my earth-friendly instincts go up in smoke.

Maybe it’s middle age, or maybe it’s just that I’ve become jaded, but the truth is, very few things surprise me these days. Of course, some things still surprise me: the fact that country music is the most popular radio format in the United States – that was a shocker. And the recent news that Donald Trump is considering a run for the presidency – I didn’t see that coming. But I was also surprised to learn that …

Pomp and Circumcision

No one thinks circumcision is a day at the beach – but should it really be outlawed?

There is a movement afoot in San Francisco to outlaw circumcisions for anyone under the age of 18. The idea behind this proposed bill is to limit this procedure to those who are old enough to decide on it for themselves. But this ballot, if successful, would probably eradicate circumcisions altogether, since very few adult males will voluntarily let someone take a knife to their business. I am not here to address the medical …

The Goldberg Variations: Recycling for Baby Boomers

ColumnIf you can read this sentence without corrective lenses, you are pre-disposed to eco-activism.

Let me make one thing clear: I am not old. Although, to be perfectly honest, I am not exactly young, either. On the continuum of age, I happen to fall at the precise numeric midpoint between Miley Cyrus and Betty White – a piece of pop culture trivia which somehow strikes me as deeply significant. If I had to guess, I would say that I am also somewhere between those two women when it comes …

The Goldberg Variations: Maternal Road Rage

I used to make fun of people who drove Hummers. I would see those suburban road warriors taking up a lane and a half on the highway and I would say something rude and cutting about insecure twits who needed an off-road monster car to protect them from fender benders in a Whole Foods’ parking lot. I would speculate as to what type of “inadequacies” a man might be compensating for by wanting to drive a really big car. Oh, I was tough. Brutal even.

I wasn’t crazy about Suburbans …