ColumnA behind-the-screen look at the consistently ridiculous inbox of a writer.
At EcoSalon, we receive our fair share of email pitches, and we’ve decided to give you a weekly peek at this valuable information inside our inboxes. These products, people, and services are 100 percent real, although we’re not always sure that they should be.
Wild Anal Play Adventures!
Nothing says conscious living better than a night of wide-awake, very awake, anal play.
In bestselling author and sex educator Dr. Sadie Allison’s newly released fifth book, Tickle My Tush, we all can learn the “true pleasures of the under-explored seat of love.”
Would it be acceptable, Dr. Sadie, if I just used my seat to sit? Anal play may be on trend, but it’s not for everybooty.
Thanks, we think, to PR professional Barbara Dunn (or the “Tickle Kitty” as she signed off in her email to us) for this EcoSalon-specific pitch.
Become a Hot Mess For The World To See!
“I’m a hot mess!”
You’ve said it, your friends have said it, and you’ve all agreed at one time or another that an outfit, makeup application or drunken expose captured on another friend’s iPhone conveyed the spirit of this mess.
You and your friends, and your friends’ friends are not alone! In fact, there’s a whole website about people’s shameless hot messes. And you can now add your own.
Join Hot Mess Executive Producer Amy Kersten in her video, where she is dressed as a “deranged nanny” in The Christmas Carol, and try not to rip skin from your face as she forces an “English” accent from her freshly painted lips. You won’t get anything she says about the contest (and you want to because you have some good footage of your now-ex best friend), because all you’ll hear is that pouty faux accent. It will stay with you all day and you will become a hot mess just trying to get it out of your head.
As for their final words to us: “We’d love for Ecosalon.com to post about the contest this week, as we think your readers might be worthy competitors and who may also like our series!”
We say, you so don’t know our readers. But any press is good press, right?
Lose Weight This New Year Courtesy of Some Slave Labor Chocolate!
A recent national survey finds that only 32% of Americans actually make New Year’s resolutions. Sadly, for those who do, 60% of those people have the foresight to know they’ll break them before they even make them.
Regardless of whether or not Americans make (or keep) their resolutions, health seems to be at the top of everyone’s minds for the New Year.
According to the survey, a whopping 75% of American adults are planning on losing weight in 2012 and they say “Kicking up the Cardio” is the most optimal way to lose weight. “Eating Smaller Portions” and “Choosing ‘Healthy Over ‘Hearty’” came in a close second and third, followed by “Partnering with a Friend” which ranked surprisingly low in a distant fourth place.
There were additional findings from the Nestlé Raisinets’ New Years Health survey. Wait. Nestlé? Raisinets? Healthy?
Suck down all those little brown, soft-filled droppings made by Ivory Coast child slave laborers and feel good about your antioxidants! It’s a new year and you want to lose weight eating chocolate!
“Nestlé Raisinets are an indulgence everyone can try without feeling guilty,” says Tricia Bowles, of Nestlé Confections & Snacks.