ColumnA behind-the-screen look at the consistently ridiculous inbox of a writer.
At EcoSalon, we receive our fair share of email pitches, and we’ve decided to give you a weekly peek at this valuable information inside our inboxes. These products, people, and services are 100 percent real, although we’re not always sure that they should be.
Enjoy Health Problems While Looking Like Cameron Diaz!
We got this recently from body sculpting lingerie brand, Leonisa: “As Latin America’s best-selling lingerie line, Leonisa knows every woman’s body type is different which is why they have a wide array of shapers for every shape and size.”
Leonisa can help your body type look its best by doing things like taking your pear shaped body that might look like Shakira, your hourglass curves that look just like Kim Kardashians, or of course your Cameron Diaz boyish/ruler shape, that needs extra added curves and create the body you always wanted! (Side note: It will suck in the process.)
What we want to know is what happens when you go home with your date and they peel off that sexy dress only to see this underneath?! Or, worse yet, ripples of love handles they never knew you had engulf their groping hands. We think this is very unhealthy on a number of levels.
Workout With Makeup On That Won’t Ever Come Off…Ever!
Tired of looking like a hot mess during your hot yoga and kickboxing workout? Don’t you know everyone is looking at you when you’re at the gym to make sure you look good? Everyone. Duh.
You better listen up sweetheart and get some makeup advice from the pros.
YouBeauty’s “Cosmetic Chemistry Expert” Ni’Kita Wilson says when shopping for cosmetics that can take the heat of a vigorous workout, “look for the most transfer-resistant makeup possible; it has a better chance of surviving your workout or physically demanding job.”
Uh oh, don’t they know who they’re pitching to? A site that promotes non-toxic and organic makeup and skin products?
“Silicone-based foundations are best suited to exercise conditions,” says makeup artist Kevin James Bennett, a cosmetics expert for the International Esthetics Advisory Board of Leslie Baumann, M.D., dermatologist and author of The Skin Type Solution. “The cosmetic silicone molecules are too large to penetrate or become lodged in pores and are naturally water resistant,” he says.
Right, foundation for workouts that only comes off with toxic makeup removers. Thanks Kevin, or is it Ni’Kita or is it one of the other three names on the pitch. We’re not sure who to blame for this disaster.
(Note to women working out all over the world: Go makeup free while exercising!)
Dr. Umar Wants to Give You a Thick Bush!
Thanks to Dr. Umar’s PR crew for notifying us of a popular spring trend: bushy brows.
(Psst…we recently wrote about it Dr. Umar).
Sure we get it, bushy brows are in, but what we didn’t know was many women have to resort to transplant surgery in order to achieve the look. Wait, isn’t this a trend though? Won’t transplant surgery give you these forever?
Dr. Umar’s PR people write us: “Eyebrow thickness might come in and out of style (think Brooke Shields’ desirable eighties brows versus pencil-thin nineties supermodels), but no matter what the brow trend of the moment may be, fuller eyebrows signal youth. Period.”
I thought fuller eyebrows signified feral children and woods people? Youth. Hmmm…
Did I write yet that the good doctor wants to transplant your other body hair just above your brow? Yes. It is true.