Column“Once the rainy seasons comes, we should forage together.”
Pink cupcakes and heart shaped pancakes.
What is it about Valentine’s Day that makes people think it’s appropriate to put jewelry inside of baked goods colored with Red #40? As much I was trying to boycott writing a Valentine’s Day related Foodie Underground, when chain pizza restaurants are offering up $10,000 engagement packages, it was difficult to avoid. Writing a love-themed column was therefore practically necessary but of course, in a way befitting this space.
It’s no surprise that the culinary world makes a killing off of this time of year. Food, seduction and love go hand in hand, which might be why 70 million Americans celebrate February 14th at a restaurant.
But here at Foodie Underground, we’re all about the underground/DIY movement, and we support taking matters into your own hands, particularly when it comes to your dating life (which is why we just say no to the internet.)
So in honor of the saccharin Hallmark Holiday, today’s column is dedicated to help you find foodie love. All in 140 characters or less, these pick up lines are textable, tweetable and even short enough to put in writing on a cardamom cake, if that’s what you’re into.
- You’re as intoxicating as a home distilled liquor.
- You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
- Can I sprinkle some sea salt on your salad?
- I can last as long as a Le Creuset.
- This first date is going so well. Should we drop everything and buy a food truck together?
- How hot does your gas oven get?
- Even my new stainless steel cookware set isn’t as slick as you.
- If you shave your legs as well as that fennel, I can’t wait to touch them.
- If this were an artisan meat market, I would take you home for dinner.
- I’d turn vegan for you.
- You’re my missing ingredient.
- I’m local, all natural, homemade and certified organic: wanna taste?
- Your skin is smoother than the finest panna cotta.
- Do you prefer French Press or Bialetti for your morning coffee?
- Have you ever tried bone luging?
- If I was a chalkboard, would you write the daily special on me?
- You’re spicier than sriracha.
- I think we’d grow a great organic garden together.
- Can I serve you a frittata made with local ducks eggs in bed tomorrow morning?
- Your eyes are as effervescent as this sparkling water.
- How about we skip the hors d’oeuvres and head straight for the digestif?
- Have you ever tried hand-pulled, salted cardamom toffee? Why don’t we head back to my place and I’ll whip you up a batch.
- You’re as complete as quinoa.
- If you were a seed, I’d plant an entire community garden of you.
- You’re so cute I could bottle you up in a mason jar.
- Need a cooking partner? Because I am amazing in the kitchen.
- I studied at a culinary school in France and know all the secrets to joie de vivre.
- I just scored a rare sampling of imported olive oils; wanna come back to my place for a tasting?
- Dinner is on me. I know the chef.
- You make my soufflé rise; can I buy you a drink?
- If I wrote a cookbook, you’d be the featured recipe.
- Staring at you is better than looking at food porn.
- Do you like reading? I’ve heard Omnivore’s Dilemma is the perfect bedtime story.
- Let’s pretend you’re a farm and I’ll be the table.
- Do you make your own kombucha? Because those probiotics are doing your body good.
- When it comes to me, you’ve got free range.
- If I threw you a dinner party, I’d use my good linen.
- What are you doing this fall? How about we take advantage of the harvest season?
- If you were a dessert, I would drizzle a balsamic reduction all over you.
- You know, I cook best in the morning.
- How about we go back to my place and make something to write about on my food blog?
- If you were going to open a restaurant, what would you call it? Mine would be Devour.
- Once the rainy seasons comes, we should forage together.
- Do you need someone to help pitch your tent at farmers market?
- God put as much work into you as a fine piece of artisan cheese.
- I’m new in town, where’s the best place to get late night paté?
- You & Me. Sounds like a great idea, or maybe the name of the next hot restaurant. You in?
- You’re so hot, you could make creme brulée with just your looks.
- This city has [insert number] of microbrews, but only this one has the blonde I want.
- I would love to make you part of this season’s bounty.
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Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s weekly column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground, discovering what’s new and different in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to the culinary avant garde.
Image: Rahim Packir Saibo