Getting over an ex? These survival tips really come in handy. Trust.
So your ex has started seeing someone new, and there two things wrong with this picture: One, you only broke up about ten minutes ago. Two, you’re still in the sweatpants-and-pie portion of the break-up process, which makes you wonder how the eff he’s moving on so fast.
Here are 8 survival strategies to help you through this liver-damaging time:
1. Give yourself time to be PO’d
Most people will tell you to suck it up and keep your shit together. I’m not one of those people. It’s your right to feel how you feel, and while I wouldn’t recommend pulling a Jerry Springer, wallowing in the comfort of your own home—and sweatpants—is totally your prerogative.
In my experience, it’s actually better if he moves on first, because it helps you deal with that lingering post-relationship baggage you don’t realize is still there. (Which means you won’t unintentionally drag it into your next relationship.)
2. Get the cyber-stalking out of your system
I could also tell you not to go on your social networks and find out everything you can about his new squeeze, but we both know you’re going to. We also know pictures of her are going to make you gag. (You may even print out a couple and draw little moustaches on them.) You’ll also find every reason to despise her and rant about his horrible post-you taste in women, so why not just grab a bottle and get the rip-fest out of your system? Resisting will only make the urge stronger.
3. Don’t get sucked into a comparathon
That being said, don’t compare yourself to her or try to make sense of why they’re now together. It’s natural to be furious—especially if you find he treats her better than he ever treated you—but at the end of the day, none of it will change the fact that you weren’t a good match.
4. Put the kibosh on breaking news
Your besties may feel like they’re doing you a favor by reporting ex sightings and making jokes about his new gf. It’s an instinctual way to show support, and deep down a sweet gesture—but if you find the news flashes upset you, let them know you’d like to keep your time together an ex-free zone.
5. Steer clear of him
The worst thing you can do when getting over an ex is go places you know he frequents. (A live PDA spectacle? Ew.) Unless, you know, you’re a fan of ripping your own guts out.
6. Don’t play it cool
There will be times when you’ll bump into him and awkwardness will inevitably ensue. Just because you can’t find anything else to talk about, do not ask him about the details of his new relationship. (See point about ripping your own guts out.) You may feel laid back and “cool” about it in the moment—as he goes on and on about how “into her” he is—but afterward you’ll end up a sobbing pile on the floor. Stick to the awkward silence. Ignorance is bliss.
7. No drunk texting
If you’re one of those unicorns who can drink and text coherently… well, I’m jealous. But drinking can sometimes turn us into lonely, emotional blobs who text our exes out of fear of being alone. Not only is this unhealthy, it’s unfair to the other person (especially if you were the one to break it off). Text one of your BFFs instead. It’s their job to help you through your emotional blobbiness.
8. Do your own thang
Getting over an ex takes time, and everyone processes breakups at their own speed. Just because he started dating faster than you doesn’t mean you didn’t mean anything to him—maybe that’s just his style. Maybe your way of dealing is taking your time, enjoying your sweatpants, and not rushing the process of finding Mr. Right. Go with your gut and jump back into the dating pool when it feels right for you.
What do you think is the hardest part of getting over an ex?
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Image: Dating again photo via Shutterstock