Female sexuality is still a concept some men can’t grasp (particularly if they’re Republicans and from Texas). But for those of us with vaginas, we know it exists. Still, are we falling into male-dictated roles when it comes to female sexuality and sex positions in particular?
So, there you are, in the bedroom. You could be with a lover (new or old), a husband, with another woman, or even several people. Are you feeling liberated in your sexuality? Are you embracing sex positions that bring you pleasure no matter how you may look or sound? Or are you still doing your best doggy-style porn position? (Not that doggy style can’t be fun.)
We so easily get caught up in the perceived expectations our (male) partners (surely) have. Men are not totally at fault, of course (I’m looking at you beer commercials and internet porn). But they sure don’t reject the devices common in our culture that have come to define female sexuality. (Dave Chappelle brilliantly sums it up in under two minutes.)
But how is that empowering us, ladies?
Just like we fall into traps when it comes to attracting lovers, we also fall into traps when it comes to sex itself. We worry about body image (are my boobs going to look weird if I’m laying on my back?). We worry about appearing as Victoria’s Secret as possible (please, ladies, enough with the Brazilian waxing already). Do we emulate porn stars rather than do what feels really good for us?
If you need a little variety to feel liberated, try on some of these sex positions and see if it doesn’t help to redefine your sexuality…or at least, make it a bit more fun. Keep in mind there are hundreds of sex positions and variations…and we aren’t even going into oral sex here, either. These are some of the best of the bunch, in no particular order or rank.
1. Missionary: You’re probably thinking this can’t be empowering, right? But let’s have another look. First and foremost, it’s easy, and gets you face-to-face with your lover. It feels good typically for men and women, and there are variables. The woman can do most of the work by lifting her behind off the bed and thrusting the man. He can put his thighs outside of hers increasing clitoral stimulation, and the couple can easily kiss and touch in this position, making it a more erotic experience.
2. The erotic V: The woman is seated on the edge of a table at a height that allows the man to penetrate while he’s standing up. Her legs are up on his shoulders. The woman can also wrap her legs around her mate, and if he’s strong enough, he can even lift her up for a truly orgasmic experience.
3. Rocking Horse: Many women are afraid of or embarrassed by being on top of the man, but it can be one of the best feeling positions for women. In the rocking horse, the woman is on top of the man, who is seated with his legs crossed and back supported so both man and woman are at an angle upwards. Her legs can be wrapped around his torso or extended out along the side of him.
4. Splitting Bamboo: The woman lies on her back lifting one leg over her partners’ shoulder. He sits on his knees and enters the woman. This gives both a free hand or two for touching and clitoral stimulation.
5. The Crouching Tiger: The man lays on his back at the edge of the bed with legs over the side. The woman climbs on facing away from the man with his hands under her buttocks and her legs in a crouching position on top of or outside of his. She’s able to control the pace and depth of penetration as well as use her hands on her body and his for increased pleasure.
6. The Glowing Juniper: For the romantics. The man sits with legs outstretched. The woman, facing the man, lays back on his legs with her legs around his waist. He supports her back and sides with his hands, and if he’s flexible enough, can bend over to kiss her on the stomach.
7. Kneeling: Both man and woman sit on their knees face to face with her legs around his. He will have to bend slightly to penetrate her, but the woman does the work so the man supports her back as she controls speed and depth.
8. The Amazon: The man sits on a low, sturdy chair. The woman sits on top so that her legs touch the ground. She controls the pace. She can sit facing or away from the man.
9. The Curl Up: Think of this as Doggy-style laying down on your side. It’s spooning with a lil’ something extra. The woman lays on her side, curling her legs up. The man positions himself behind her, mirroring her pose and then she wraps her legs outside of his so that he can enter.
Keep in touch with Jill on Twitter @jillettinger
Image: lotus carroll