There’s a lot of gorgeous fashion out there that’s eco-friendly these days. All you have to do is take a quick scroll of our fashion section to learn about dozens upon dozens of designers pushing sustainability up onto the catwalk and out into the stores. But occasionally, the green goes beige and things take a turn for crunchy town. Granolaville. The ’70s.
Introducing The Beige Report, where we cover the well-meaning, but unfortunate attempts of eco brands with the best of intentions and the not-so-best of products. First honors: organic period panties.
You know, I remember when I first got my period. It actually happened twice.
The first time was a ploy to convince my faster-developing friends that I had in fact become a woman. I did this by carrying around paper thin panti-liners in a Ziploc bag in my Bermuda Bag and telling them I’d be right back because, like, “I have to change my pad!”
The second time it was real and Mom, a properly embarrassed Catholic, gave me a jumbo plastic sack of the biggest maxi-pads ever created. You know the kind, ladies: you became uni-butt and boys looked at you funny because they couldn’t quite understand what was wrong with your derriere.
Now, you can reclaim your overly padded youth organically with Organic Period Panties by Lunapads!
If only I’d had these pads back in the day. I could’ve chosen from bikini, thong, hipsters or briefs and when the pad was, um, full, I would’ve pulled it out of my matching organic panties, stored it in yet another Ziploc bag until I got home, then washed them by hand!
Oh Lunapads, I don’t know what I think of you except that you remind me no matter what I do come period time it’s eco-unfriendly. I still have to consider menstruating on a monthly basis and that it causes a big footprint, but is this my only choice? This and a Diva Cup?
Maybe we should start taking into consideration Native American culture, where women retreated to a menstrual hut once a month and shot the breeze with other women on their cycle. Hornets in a jar!
From bad green design to ridiculous marketing campaigns, find out what peeves the writers and editors of EcoSalon in our team column, The Beige Report.