9 Pieces of Anatomy-Themed Merch to Help You Smash the Patriarchy

Smash the Patriarchy with These 9 Pieces of Anatomy-Themed Merch
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Show your disdain for the patriarchy with your love for the female body and all its greatness with this anatomy-themed merchandise.

When men are continuing to make decisions about women’s reproductive rights and health, and a narcissistic sociopath is slated to become our nation’s next president, I think it’s pretty evident that we still have a patriarchy on our hands. According to the Washington Post, by the middle of 2016, 14 states had already passed laws to make getting an abortion more difficult. From lengthening the waiting period to outright bans, women are facing harsher restrictions, and it doesn’t look to be slowing down anytime soon. If that’s not enough to get you all riled up, then maybe the recent tidbit about Texas possibly requiring a proper burial of aborted fetuses will.

Whatever it is that lights your fire, we can probably all agree that girl power during trying times is a must. Whether you decide to protest, donate, volunteer, or show off the power of your femininity in some other way, we’ve got plenty of pro-female anatomy merch that you’ll want to wear, display, gift, and flaunt in every way possible.

1. Little V Ring

Smash the Patriarchy with These 9 Pieces of Anatomy-Themed Merch

This piece may be dainty, but the message is clear: all vulvas are unique and beautiful. Handcrafted from brass, the detail in this beautiful ring is evident. Plus, it’s very of-the-moment, and would look great alongside a handful of tiny stacked rings. My favorite part? She didn’t forget the all-important clitoris. Priced at $42.

2. Poontone Pins

Smash the Patriarchy with These 9 Pieces of Anatomy-Themed Merch

If you’ve ever felt the need to wear a badge that matches the color of your poontang, then you most definitely need a Poontone pin. Have an artsy friend? A group of BFFs you could totally share these with? Or another great reason (like none at all) to buy one of these? It’s as simple as picking the color that best matches your nether region and customizing the name. That, or roll with the one that’s provided. “Rose Bud” actually has a nice ring to it. Priced at $3.

3. Vajay Calendar

Smash the Patriarchy with These 9 Pieces of Anatomy-Themed Merch

These whimsical O’Keefe-esque fine art prints have been turned into a lovely calendar. This is a 2017 must-have for displaying in your home office. Thanks to the lively and colorful depictions, you’ll be excited to see a colorful new Vajayjay month after month. Priced at $29.  

4. Boob Earrings

Smash the Patriarchy with These 9 Pieces of Anatomy-Themed Merch

Free the nipple with these adorable boobie earrings. Give them to a breastfeeding mom, breast cancer survivor, your feminist girlfriend, or anyone who will appreciate a pair of knockers, including yourself. These are handcrafted from porcelain and are made for pierced ears. Priced at $35.

5. Ovary Embroidery

Smash the Patriarchy with These 9 Pieces of Anatomy-Themed Merch

Throw up the “Ovary Squad” sign and represent the girl gang with one of these embroidered tapestries. The seller stitches these by hand and even lets you customize the colors. These make great gifts or little bits of woman-positive home decor. Priced at $35.

6. Uterus Print

Smash the Patriarchy with These 9 Pieces of Anatomy-Themed Merch

This life-giving organ is a beautiful thing — and deciding to continue with making room for a baby should be entirely yours to make. Whether you’ve given birth or not, we can agree that it’s definitely where we all began, so why not celebrate how lovely it can be? This anatomy print is gorgeous and flowery and great for framing. Priced at $7.99.

7. Period Pin

Smash the Patriarchy with These 9 Pieces of Anatomy-Themed Merch

Periods happen, whether we like them or not, and menstrual cups are great alternatives to chemical-laden disposable pads and tampons. This one happens to be super glittery and cute, which kinda makes menstruating a little bit better. It would be a sweet backpack, lapel, or jacket accessory. Priced at $12.52.

8. Ovary Sticker

Smash the Patriarchy with These 9 Pieces of Anatomy-Themed Merch

After “Parks and Recreation” star Leslie Knope so keenly quipped, “Brovaries before ovaries,” it was as though the saying was etched into social media stone. And wouldn’t ya know it can now be displayed in the form of a reusable vinyl sticker. Give them as gifts, or plaster them all over your car door windows. Priced at $3.50.

9. Vulva Pillow

Smash the Patriarchy with These 9 Pieces of Anatomy-Themed Merch

Snuggle up with this abstract rendition of the vulva. The high contrast print will fit right in to a contemporary setting, and add a touch of cheeky modern style to your space. Bold in print, yet subtle on the vag detection, this is one piece of decor you might be able to sneak past your in-laws. Priced at $68.

Smashing the patriarchy isn’t as easy as buying a symbolic token, but it’s a step in the right direction, especially if you’re looking for an ice-breaker or a way to get people talking about what matters. Let us know your thoughts on the EcoSalon Facebook page!

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