ColumnNatalie Chanin’s bi-weekly column, Material Witness, offers a seasoned designer’s perspective on the fashion industry, textile history and what happens when love for community trumps all.

Last year, Alabama Chanin was included in the Starbucks campaign: Stories are Gifts – Share. See the video below. We met some lovely new friends – Jamie, David, and Luke – who traveled to Alabama to tell our story and celebrate with us.

A year later, it is nice to be reminded that home is a special place; your home and the people around you help create who you are. A home can be anywhere and your family can be made up of so many people, regardless of their biological relationship to you. Alabama Chanin was born out of my own “coming home,” of the distinct sense of place that is my community.

We often say that we at Alabama Chanin are a family. In fact, we say it so often that I fear it is beginning to sound a bit trite. But, please know that there is no underlying falseness in this sentiment. This family that we have created is the heart and soul of our company. We hope that you can feel it in everything that we do.

Embrace your family, whether they are yours by blood or by choice. Reach out to those who mean the most to you. To paraphrase my grandfather, a truly wise man: alone we can be weak and subject to the harshness of the world, to those who wish to hurt us or circumstances that may fracture our spirits; as a family, we can stand strong against those things that might wish to injure us. We are protected and supported, celebrated and loved.

Happy Holidays.

The Heart and Soul:

Natalie Chanin is owner and designer of the American couture line Alabama Chanin and author of three books including Alabama Stitch Book  (2008), Alabama Studio Style (2010) and the upcoming Alabama Studio Sewing + Design which comes out spring 2012. Look for her bi-weekly column, Material Witness here and follow her on Facebook and her own blog at Alabama Chanin.

He calls you “Cherie” as you channel the attitude of your mom, deriding the kids for not picking up their mess and complaining how canned salmon doesn’t taste as good as it used to. You hate him for it, but wonder if you are, indeed, morphing into the woman who raised you. This, despite the years of strident teenage rebellion, breastfeeding to one up her, and steadfastly maintaining the position you do not need to put on a frigging coat.

Lovable mom, angry mom, giddy and forgetful mom, resourceful, nagging, in need of a muzzle mom. The signs she is in there are surfacing daily. Here are ten I’ve been witnessing lately:

1. You embarrass your children with your exuberance.

This takes a variety of forms: Busting out in a song from a favorite musical while shopping at the mall; dancing in front of their friends at a Bat Mitzvah (i.e slapping your butt and twisting down to the ground during Shawty got Low) or Facebooking a personal anecdote about the great lengths they took to get spruced up for a dance. “Shoshanna got her hairy, ethnic lip waxed for the first time and didn’t even scream! That’s my daughter!”

2. Repeating yourself as a manipulation tactic to get your point across.
Your own mother told you no fewer than 20 times that Kathy Lee Gifford’s doctor ordered her to eat cereal with bananas when she was pregnant because she wasn’t gaining enough weight. You repeat the pattern, and pretend you don’t remember telling your kids 20 times that Zoe Goldberg got incurable lice from sharing brushes and scrunchies at camp.

3. Losing your car keys. Losing your house keys. Losing your luggage keys. Finding your keys in the trash.

4. Visible Links in the DNA Chain: Sore feet with corns, bunions and Plantar Fasciitis, Varicose Veins, impatience with tardiness, intolerance for loud music (it’s all too loud), flab around your middle, shrinking height, poor eyesight, bladder incontinence, laughing at silly greeting cards until you cry and wet your pants.

5. Becoming very friendly with the grocery store box boy, hair wax lady, or any strangers in line with you at the movies.

6. Sharing with your man, kids and friends fascinating details about the lives of the grocery store box boy, hair wax lady or strangers you met in line at the movies.

7. Wearing age-appropriate clothing, including labels you were convinced were only reserved for your mom and her old friends. (i.e. St. John, Chico, Ann Taylor, Coldwater Creek, Eileen Fisher, Jones New York, any support hose and shape wear.)

8. Adopting expressions you didn’t know were wired into your arguing mode: Put first things first; Wait until college to try that; Not while you are under my roof; That happened because god is punishing you for how you talked to me; That’s the only sister you will ever have, so stop trying to murder her; eliminate salt; things will look brighter in the morning; It’s Monday – brush your teeth! Bart takes his kids to Europe every summer and we have to go back to the Finger Lakes?

9. Talking about health problems with your friends. Talking about insurance plans with your friends.Talking about what you saved using coupons with your friends. Complaining about traffic, the president, gas prices and bad retail service with your friends.

10. Telling kids to wear a coat so they won’t get sick, even during sweltering summers in the Valley.

Images: Brett lider; Scraps to the Future; Crazyneighborlady; James Jordan; Podmapetit; Womanobsessed;Foxyvoxy;

You better not shout. You better not cry. You better not snake someone’s parking space at the mall cause they might be high. Santa Claus is coming to town! Yay!

At the cost of looting yet another candy coated jingle, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, but also the most stressful. And arguments can ensue over mundane nonsense because we are under pressure to buy what we cannot afford, entertain even though our nests are distressed and lacking luster, and are downing sugar by the barrel at every turn. Here are some of the common tussles we encounter during the holidays:

1. Sacrificial Office Workers

Scrooge is alive and well in America. Just ask many an employee who is being told by the boss to cut their needed vacation, work long hours and forgo the annual holiday party and bonus this year due to hard times. Bah Humbug. If only every boss could be Michael Scott of The Office fame!

2. Shopping Scuffles

They happen wherever there are hordes in a hurry – in a busy street bustling with humans toting many bags, a packed mall parking lot, the line at The Cheesecake Factory, on the road to get to the mall or vacation destination, or with your family over the right thing to buy Nana or teachers. “You got Miss D. a Starbuck’s card last year! It’s so stupid. Get her something better!”

3. Family Break Time Battles

You want to hang around the house and finally get things organized. He wants to drive up the coast and hike, and the kids want to spend all of your money on a “real vacation” that involves sun, water, mediocre food at high prices and cute members of the opposite sex. It’s hard to agree on the best way to spend time away from work at school because everyone has a different idea of how to savor events like New Year’s eve and down time.

4. Disappointment Over Gifts

Taking back lousy gifts is not as simple as it used to be with the exception of department stores like Nordstrom and Macy’s which aren’t as desperate for a sale as the smaller boutiques. You might have been expecting jewelry and he bought you rainboots – believing you would go mad over the way they resemble classic and edgy Frye Durango harness boots. Your kid wanted just about anything from the Apple store yet being the smart parent you are, you opted for flannel pajamas and slippers. Life isn’t fair, but it can be warm and fuzzy.

5. Coming “Home” for Christmas and Feeling 13 Again

Mom has done so much for you and the family, schlepping that 10-foot tree through the door on her back, slaving over the crockpot, shopping like a fiend to get those Uggs in just the right shade of metallic silver. But pleasing her can be a mixed bag. She doesn’t want you to see your old friends if it takes time away from seeing her. Dad doesn’t understand why you don’t pick up your shit at your age, or why you are loafing and watching television instead of helping him repaint the house. Your sister is jealous because you got a designer watch and she got a toaster and your brother’s wife can’t do wrong in your parents’ eyes while you are never on time for dinner and live with a guy who doesn’t make enough money. They all get huffy when you tell them to f— off. Ahh, yes. It’s good to be home.

Images: 8136496@NO5;  NBC; Evergreenkamal; Websterkate; Consumerist; Seanosh

When the last school bell rings to signify the start of summer, kids go running wildly into the season full of hope for adventures and freedom. But parents know all too well that once the novelty of downtime wears off, that famous phrase, “Mom, I’m bored!” is all too quickly uttered. Put these 25 good, old fashioned summer activities on your child’s radar, and they’re sure to find entertainment lurking around every corner of your home and neighborhood.

1. Take your kids on a nature walk/scavenger hunt at a nearby park or around your neighborhood. Give them a list of things to find: a squirrel, a yellow flower, a dandelion, etc., and have them take a picture of each object on the list. When you return home, have them paint a picture of the most beautiful thing they saw on their excursion.

2. Set up an obstacle course in your backyard and declare it Olympic day! Toss water balloons, hop to the finish line in potato sacks, and do egg on spoon relay races.

3. Find a patch of sidewalk and let kids spruce it up with their very own chalk drawings.

4. Teach your child how to cook her favorite meal or baked treat.

5. Make homemade fruit popsicles or ice cream sundaes.

6. Get crafty with collected seashells and make these seashell Koalas and other keepsake creatures.

7. Attend story time at your local library.

8. Fly a kite.

9. Teach your kids how to play a card game or a board game.

10. Volunteer at an animal shelter or visit senior citizens in an elderly home.

11. Build a fairy house.

12. Build an indoor fort by draping sheets over strategically placed furniture. Read library books under the canopy.

13. Teach your child how to sew or knit.

14. Learn the art of tying as many different knots as you can.

15. Walk your dog and then give him a bubble bath.

16. Enroll your child in an eco-friendly summer camp.

17. Build a treehouse or playhouse together.

18. Go on a family bike riding excursion.

19. Plant a garden, tend it and watch it grow. Plan to make a delicious recipe with the fruits of your labor.

20. Blow bubbles. Teach your child how to blow a bubble with gum.

21. Hit the beach, lake, stream, or creek in your neck of the woods and make a splash.

22. Start a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle together and work on it every day for 15 minutes as a family.

23. Make a sensory or water table station in your backyard.

24. Learn how to juggle, hula hoop and do a cartwheel.

25. Go “camping” in your backyard or living room.

Images: Beth Shea, Mavis, jumpyjodes, fwooper, LaLa50, adria.richards, Axel Buhrmann, gaab22

Whether you’re hopping on a bike to pedal for a good cause, or hoping to unwind with some fresh air and boost your mental health, bicycling is an all around great activity that the whole family can enjoy together. Below I’ve included some handy resources which highlight bike trails and family friendly cycling trips that will send you down happy trails while creating many a picturesque memory. So hop on your bikes and strap on your helmets, and go forth into the great wide open as a family!

Bike Riders Tours offers family biking excursions in worldwide locales from New England to Ireland, Italy, South Africa, Croatia, and many more destinations. Bikes, gear, snacks and juices are provided, and tour guides accompany each group to ensure safety and fun along the way.

We previously reported that Google maps now provides cycling directions in 150 American cities via their online mapping service. Turn everyday outings to the store or park into an entirely new experience for your kids. Perched on a bike, they’ll see their city in an entirely different light than they would from the backseat of a car.

Trails.com features a list of the best road bike trips across the United States, ranking the trails with regard to level of difficulty and offering a five-star rating system in which online members may rank paths and provide firsthand insight regarding their experience with a trail.

If you live in or are traveling to the Wild West this summer, Tucson, AZ boasts an array of biking day trips with the serene desert as a backdrop. These excursions will only apply to early risers, because Tucson temperatures rise to over 100 degrees by mid-day during the summer months – so you may want to wait until fall or winter to pedal these paths!

Bicycling Magazine is a great resource for the best bike rides in America and a selection of America’s top 50 bike-friendly cities. Thorough descriptions of bike trails enable cyclists to plan an accurate, successful excursion.

Santa Barbara is arguably one of the most breathtakingly beautiful cities in the world. The Santa Barbara Bicycle Coalition suggests a list of bike rides throughout the dreamy beach town and surrounding areas that are sure to leave the entire family awestruck and inspired.

Image: eyeliam

My husband used to station a video camera near our gurgling baby, capturing an hour or so of what I considered excessive b-roll of her discovering her hand, exploring the texture of newspapers on a shelf with her tongue and fingers, or looking around with a glazed- over grimace from the over taxation of her developing brain and then whimpering for some attention.

These weren’t pastel-coated Kodak moments like taking those first steps, blowing out a Disney princess cake, or the splashy footage of a swim lesson. Nonetheless, my deeper half was fascinated with the mundane because it conveyed the anthropological human experience. This is where is all starts. And we are usually too busy to notice.

Apparently, this fascination and a desire for universal connection also drove French filmmaker, Thomas Balmes, whose documentary Babies offers a simultaneous bird’s eye (and sometimes fly’s eye) view of early child birthing and rearing among four cultures. Two of the women featured live close to nature in a tribal village in Namibia and a grassy plain in Mongolia and have experienced motherhood, while two from industrialized countries of Japan and the U.S. welcome their first children into the world.

The latter are hands-on mommies supported by their spouses, while we rarely see glimpses of the fathers in the third world settings – either because they refused to be filmed or because they are mostly out hunting and doing other manly things (i.e. napping and yapping) – while the matriarchy gathers, milks and nurtures the young. All of the families except for the African one have pet cats that seem to fill in for any nanny or grandparent, by lounging with or on the baby while the mother is otherwise occupied. Got to love cats.

In following these babies from birth to their first steps, the documentary attempts to redefine the nonfiction art form while linking humanity in the stages of life that are universal to all of us, namely the earliest yearnings stemming from innate survival instincts: food, shelter, warmth and love. There are no words spoken (à la Winged Migration) but the language is wholly familiar. Often, it speaks volumes about boredom.

Ponijao, who lives with her family near Opuwo, Namibia, spends a great deal of time sitting around with other babies, flies swarming her face, nothing to play with but a found bone or a playmate’s body parts. In one scene on a walk with other women and kids, her mother soothes her discontentment by simply bending down and extending an exposed boob for the baby to suck. Hey, it worked great for me, and it works great for her. Breast milk: the new mother’s helper!

Bayar lives with  his family in Mongolia and is closer to nature than most, as cows graze and meander around him as he crawls around the plain, often left to his own devices when he isn’t being tormented by a jealous and also bored older brother. We root for the helpless, tightly swaddled infant who will never visit a Gymboree class or pull plastic treasures from a toy bin, but is somehow contented with what he knows. Like the other babies, he seems relatively well off with enough to eat and a warm place to sleep. His working mom is tough, his brother is mean, and his dad drove him home after birth strapped to his mom on the back of a crude motorcycle. No baby seat available, officers. But somehow you just know he will persevere and join his clan, working the herds in no time. Like many of us, if Bayar can survive a sadistic older brother, he can survive anything.

Mari, who lives with her family in Tokyo, Japan, is the epitome of the yuppie Beverly Hills baby, dressed to the nines in designer rompers and leg warmers and adored by her gentle parents who live in a typical Toyko high rise tower. Nothing here is lost in translation. She is escorted to Mommy and Me classes and caressed by her cat, and only appears distressed in one scene when frustrated by her inability to fit a peg block through a whole. That sort of challenge would excite my husband to no end, providing reels and reels of tape.

Hattie from San Francisco holds up a mirror to modern parents. While her mother seems the stereotypical Marin County hippie to a comical degree (naked hot tub soaking and Indian tribal songs at baby group bonding), this setting – like the Toyko apartment – makes us modern mommies wonder if we offered too much stimulus, creating humans that want and need endlessly to be happy. While the documentary makes no judgments about less is best, we come away understanding why our parents have a bone to pick with the “things” we have bought to entertain our children, and the schedules we have managed to fill their time. It all leaves little room for self discovery.

Perhaps that is why so many industrialized children need shrinks later on. “I never asked for all of that; I just wanted my parents to love me.” In some parts of our world, love is the only option. In all parts of the world, there is no substitute. Man cannot survive on Disney alone.

Images: Courtesy of Focus Features

Dog gone it, not again! My gluttonous pug – not satisfied with a veggie burger chew toy - has gone bin diving in my compost bucket and recycling bags. These receptacles for reusable waste are placed securely under the sink and not so securely beside the other trash cans in the kitchen. What a mess it makes on the kitchen floor as I catch him in the dirty deed, flattened face buried in the bag, chewing hardened flakes off a cereal box or licking up the yolk residue and eggshells now pasted to my hardwood floor.

I can visualize the sequel now: Smokey and Me. Now that Marley has been put to sleep, we focus on the next heartwarming saga of a well meaning conservationist and her beloved, mischievous family pet.

No matter how much I try pug-proofing my compost containers, the wrinkly chunk always finds the loopholes and manages to get his flat snout in the waste whenever we ease up on our security – a naughty act that begs answers to the following queries:

1. Is the pug an eating machine akin to the great white shark, propelling robotically through his milieu, jaws opening wide and devouring anything and everything in site – from Bounce sheets to cardboard to whatever foul things are carelessly discarded on the street or Polo Fields at Golden Gate Park?

2. Does the dog think of me as terribly wasteful and shameful for getting rid of perfectly good gristle, chicken skin, pork fat, egg shells, coffee grounds, biodegradable clam shell containers and rotting fruit? Does he eat it to teach me a valuable lesson about sustainability?

3. Am I simply dysfunctional in the temporary storage of  disposables?

“Be compassionate with yourself,” my therapist reminds me when I get frustrated about someone removing the rubber bands we connect to the cabinet knobs to proof them. Who would do such a thing? Was it the kids, neighbors, the cleaning lady?

Fine, I’ll ease up on myself and seek counseling for the dog, who might be undergoing some sort of eco-stress from all the talk about eliminating waste around the house. “I’ll eliminate it for you, you guys, if only you will stop trying to lock me out of the goods.”

I wonder what other green dog owners do that we aren’t doing. I would happily take pointers. Do you keep all your household recycle and compost containers outside of the house in a hidden spot, so they can be dumped in the bins collected on trash days? Do you maintain counter buckets that tenacious animals cannot reach? Do time outs? Take away treats. Tell me. I want to know!

Maybe I should resort to threatening no dessert or taking away the privilege of peeing in the doctor’s carport across the street. In the meantime, I’m trying to talk some sense into Smokey, hoping that those scoldings make an impression.

How does it make you feel when your family is doing its part to reduce and reuse, and you go and tip over the containers and cause a lot of angst? Look at the cat. She doesn’t behave like that. She also poops neatly in a box and never begged for food at the table until you came along and corrupted her.

He seems to think I’m speaking in a foreign language, like how some disbelievers glare at us when we talk about climate change and plastic poisons. He cocks his little head and seems to be saying, “When you can get the girls to pick up their wet towels off the floor and un-glue their Power Bars from the car seats, I will resist burrowing in your trash. Otherwise, talk to the paw!”

Guess I’ll have to rely on the blessings of the skinned knee. One day he will suffer a bad case of  diarrhea and projectile vomiting from consuming something nasty and disturbing my waste. He will learn from the pain of his mistakes and only eat kibble at meal time and be a more obedient pug-child. And if he won’t, there is always college.

Images:Mavis, Wickenden, Luanne Bradley

You haven’t replaced that water-sucking front lawn with organic vegetables to share with neighbors, begun hang drying your laundry out by the Infinity pool or sewing your own reusable tampons in your craft room. BFD! You don’t have to be a card carrying member of the Earth Liberation Front to be going green.

We all go there differently. Some, by living the little tree house on the Prairie life; others put themselves on the front lines to brave the political battle of solving climate change; and then there are those I classify as Gruppies, middle class yuppies grappling with the so-called American dream while making strident efforts to reduce, reuse and recycle -  driving hybrids, resisting the tempting sales at Nordstrom, unplugging the 17″ titanium laptop at night.

Many of us are judged cruelly by cynics challenging the eco-friendliness of anyone electing to own a nice home, spawn offspring and use gas-fueled cars as transport.

Are they right? I do aspire to be more of the “real green deal” like a colleague of mine who does fabricate her own reusable menstrual pads and measures a delightfully small carbon footprint. I dream of fleeing urban life where the flow of Feng shui is often disrupted by selfish drivers in heavy traffic, fierce competition in the workplace and private schools, and the exorbitant costs of housing, food and pilates classes.

Do you drive a Prius and have solar panels on your remodel in the gated community? Or perhaps you take the bus to work to save on carbon while you answer emails on your iPhone? If the answer to any of these questions – or the following 10 – is yes, you may be a gruppie. Take this test to find out.

1. You have made the friendly switch to 100% organic cotton and bamboo clothing and bedding, and clean them in hot water and Tide in you new, Energy Star LG rated front loader. Yes (5 points) No (1 point).

2. You own reusable shopping bags can’t remember to take them out of your hybrid SUV when you go to Whole Foods to buy your imported organic produce. Yes (5 points) No (1 Point).

3. You take public transportation to work and home each day and also when you fly in big jets all over the world for business and pleasure each year. Yes (5 points) No (1 point).

4. You would like to resist buying plastic-sealed products at Trader Joe’s where you shop to save money, but it is nearly impossible because almost everything is overwrapped at TJ’s and it’s a hassle to shop at more than one store. Yes (5 points) No (1 point).

5. You love checking out farmers’ markets and the idea of buying fresh and local, but only go occasionally when they feature live music or when friends are visiting form out of town and it’s a cool thing to do. Yes (5 points) No (1 point).

6. You make a habit of recycling all glass, cans, paper and plastics but don’t compost because it’s sort of icky having those smelly food scraps and egg shells under the sink, and the garbage disposable gets rid of it so quickly. Yes (5 points) No (1 point).

7. You cut down on shower time, turn off the tap when brushing your teeth, and refuse to buy individual plastic water bottles, except for Vitamin Water, because at least it is better than soda and so far, doesn’t come in big delivery bottles. Yes (5 points) No (1 point).

8. You have invested in nontoxic household cleaning products to reduce exposure, but are still getting mani-pedis, because, well, it just looks better to be groomed, especially at formal events. Yes (5 points) No (1 point).

9. When shopping, you are discerning about buying free range, grassfed meats, but you accept whatever meat is on the menu at the restaurants you frequent because the food is good even though the owners have not yet switched to safe meat you can trust. Yes (5 points) No (1 point).

10. After watching reruns of Curb Your Enthusiasm at night, you routinely unplug electronics to save on phantom energy, including the computers in the bonus room, toaster and microwave, recessed lighting, heated cat bed, vibrating dog lounger, home theater and music systems, cordless phone adapters, cell phone chargers, digital camera chargers, espresso machine. You yell at your spouse and kids to turn their stuff off, too, but they ignore you.

Bonus Question: You espouse the philosophy that we all need to respect and preserve our planet for future generations and yet, you will never pass this way again and are entitled to fully partake in the “good life” which means all that you can afford (and then some) for your family. Yes (5 points) No (1 point).

How You Rate as a Gruppie

5 points: You don’t really qualify, yet, you earthy-crunchy you. Initiate a Capri Sun Pouch Brigade Program at your kids’ school and we will talk.

15 points: Congrats, you are well on your way to keeping up with the Gores!

50 points: Love to meet you and hook up for a bite! There’s a great new small plates bistro in the Mission and I’m getting a carpool together. Oh, we’re also sharing a sitter. Is that green? My therapist says it is.

More Quizzes: Are You an Eco Snob?

Images: TheeErin, Rabble, Airshow, Prontohome, Scienceline, Greenbag

The casting call went out last January, not to big Hollywood agents but to animal shelters and rescue groups across the country.

Looking for four-legged crooners, black and white, who can get along with others on tour, do the old soft paw on stage, and won’t leap off into the audience when they hear the sound of applause.

Dozens of shelter dogs got the parts for the The 101 Dalmatians Musical including Rascal, a puppy with a broken leg found on the side of the road. Like the others, he has been given a new leash on life by getting to reside on a Florida ranch and travel in a celebrity tour bus while the show begins a national tour this month, starting in Minneapolis.

Animal trainer, Joel Slaven, told the Associated Press it was tough finding dogs to cast for the show.

Apparently, following the release of the popular live-action Disney “101 Dalmatians” in 1996 there was a rush on Dalmatians as  family pets, a role not suited to the breed. After the cute puppy stage, many new owners abandoned the dogs which flooded  shelters. Since then, canine rescuers are protective of the animals being exploited.

“When the movies came out, they were over-bred and that made the breed, which already has some health problems, even worse. People got the dogs, couldn’t afford the vet bills, found the dogs untrainable, or that they didn’t get along with kids. Shelters, Humane Societies and rescue groups don’t want anyone to use these dogs for entertainment, and they don’t want to help someone who’s going to do this again,” Slavin said.

I guess they came around when Slavin convinced them the animals would be treated like divas and dapper, leading men. Training the newbies like Rascal (above) involved helping the choreographer stage a three-minute finale of all dogs performing a dance routine to a tune by composer Dennis De Young of Styx fame. I hear it’s “jaw dropping.”

But instead of using the Dalmatians throughout the show, their parts are primarily played by actors, as in the musical Cats.

Images: Bree Bailey, The 101 Dalmatians Musical

My lovely, celebrity-style dressing room is a spare bedroom I stole in the house, a spare that once housed a maple crib, green nursing glider and armoire of precious, spit-up stained Baby Gap dresses on mini-hangers.

Today, it’s my own little retail Mecca (organic, of course). But I do allow my daughters to visit and check out the blouses and shoe rack, and yes, even borrow on occasion. That sort of thing was taboo when I was growing up. Moms were moms.  Friends were the ones loaning stuff.

My own stylish mother (here with me and Grandma Zelda) towered over me at 5-foot-9 (not counting the beehive do) and always wore at least a size 14. She wasn’t a Laker like Julia Child and her sister, Dorothy, but when she got married, she wore flats so not to surpass 6-foot dad.

I hung out in Mom’s cavernous walk-in closet while she was away at luncheons. But no way could I actually borrow one of those gowns since they hung on me like a puddled curtain. I also was drawn to her off-limits, pointy, size-10 pumps, dyed to match her Jacky suits.

I was the fourth child and the runt of the litter – considerably shorter and smaller than the rest. (My theory is mother smoked a few more cigs and sipped a few more martinis when she was preggers with me.) But to be fair, I’m also considering the DNA link to my small, Polish ancestors.

Cut to my gorgeous teenage daughter with a great sense of style, who caught up with me in stature a few years back. I provide her with her own little Nordstrom Rack down the hall. I take full credit for cultivating her sense of entitlement since I have been most gracious about loaning her items, and have only kvetched a few times when they weren’t returned on time. She is very responsible and that counts.

Combined, Syd and I have a substantial inventory. I’m proud to say a chunk of it is the ski apparel we share for our annual Mommy-Sydney ski weekends in Lake Tahoe.

I was glad to squeeze into a pair of my daughter’s skinny jeans for my birthday outing with friends in August, and only felt a pinch after the second drink. You dirty martini, you!

How does the sharing work? Sometimes we fall for the same cardigan and it can make more sense during hard times to buy one to share and take turns – you know, like college co-eds on a strict budget. Call it the The Daughterhood of the Traveling Pants.

I also prefer to loan rather than buy her a dress for the countless B’Nei Mitzvah parties and other events she seems to attend. If she wears something of mine, it feels like new to her, even though I’ve worn it a dozen times.

This whole lending thing is why those smart couture rental shops, like Boutiqueville in Chicago, do so well. Why own something costly when you can rent for the occasion? When the high is over you send it back. Thank you, it was a great date, but onto other matches.

I should point out it isn’t just us girls sharing the wealth. My daughter also gets warm and fuzzy about wearing her dad’s old sweaters. I seriously think it brings her closer to him in a very sweet way.

Guess teens have been burrowing in oversize wool since Ann-Margret sang “How Lovely to be a Woman” in Bye Bye Birdie. He doesn’t mind her using the old sweaters, or at least, has never complained.

I got to wondering if other kids and parents are comfortable with community closeting or if most families are fiercely territorial about their closets. It certainly requires trust and respect, and the right kind of green deodorant.

I did a bit of research online and found little has been written on the subject. Hurray for me!

But I did stumble upon an interesting post on How to Share Clothes with a Cross-Dressing Husband.

Okay, the ground rules killed me: Killed me! They included keeping his paws out of your underwear drawer, making him replace anything stretched, torn or stained, and drawing the line when it comes to your most precious blouses or skirts (i.e. the ones with price tags still attached). The helpful primer also suggested shopping together to make sure you have the same taste. Oy!

None of this would work in my marriage. My husband is a large man who prefers high-wasted, baggy slacks to hip jeans. If he were a cross-dresser, he’d still be swishing around in those Dean Martin pants.

I do like some of his Oxford shirts and could see slipping into one after a post-sex shower and cocktail in bed, but since we don’t schedule those kind of Hollywood encounters (we don’t eat Chinese out of the box either), it’s all just another fantasy, like wearing my mother’s Yves Saint Laurent caftans.

I do have friends who are married to dainty men with little feet and excellent taste, and I could see trading with one of those fellows, swapping Indian tunics and Moroccan slides for a tux and velvet slippers when those Victor-Victoria mood strikes.

Of course, the well-dressed gay husband is top drawer when it comes to swapping, assuming he would cooperate. His rules might be too stringent for even me. I sort my closet by color but not by texture and season and don’t iron a thing. Crisp is not in my vocabulary.

No, I think I’ll stick with sharing with the girls, my wonderful girls, grabbing a wrap for Lauren when leaving for a party, pulling a dress for Sydney for a Bat Mitzvah. Selecting a hand bag that works. Maybe a trinket or earrings to tie it all together.

Does sharing benefit my daughters more than me? Well, naturally. It goes with the territory when you’re a consummate stylist and mother – who still misses dressing her dolls.

This is the sixth installment in Luanne’s column, Life in the Green Lane.

Main Image: In Style

Image One: Luanne Bradley