A step by step guide to upcycled velo style. 

When a friend’s tire went flat on a bike ride earlier this year, I asked her if I could keep the tube.

“You want my punctured tube?” she asked, with a slight hint of  ”are you nuts?”

“Yes.”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“I don’t know, earrings maybe?”

I had been mulling the idea over for quite some time. Alchemy Goods and Green Guru are known for their upcycled bike tube designs that I have fallen in love with numerous times, and I figured that if they could do it, so could I, at least on a small scale. A few samples later and several friends were outfitted with new earrings.

From afar, these bike tube earrings look like they might even be made from metal, but in actuality they’re flexible and incredibly lightweight, perfect for when you want a pair of statement earrings but want to forgo the weight that’s normally associated with them.

Where do you find bike tubes? Go the standard route and put out a call out to your velo loving friends – a Facebook request yielded about 30 used tubes that an old friend had been saving in his basement for a good project – or ask a local bike shop. Got a tube? Let’s get started.

Supplies

• Used bike tube
• X-Acto knife
• Scissors
• Paper
• Pencil
• 2 earring wire hooks
• Jewelry pliers

Begin by prepping your bike tube. Cut the tube open near the valve and then cut straight down the middle of the entire tube.

Because used tubes tend to be a little grimy, wash the tube with warm, soapy water and hang to dry. I find the best way to store tubes once you have prepped them is to roll them up and put a rubber band around them, this way you can easily cut of the right sized pieces for what you’re making and neatly store the rest for future use.

Draw your design on a piece of paper and use as a template to cut out shapes from bike tube.

Because the bike tube will naturally curl, make sure you cut lengthwise along the tube, i.e. in the direction of the natural ridges of the tube and not perpendicular to them.

Cutting lengthwise will keep the leaf from curling upwards and allow it to hang straight down instead.

Once you have cut out your leaf, use the X-acto knife to cut out the center sections. Be creative! Some of my favorite designs that I have ended up come from simply cutting freehand.

When you have cut the first leaf you can follow the same form to do the second one.

Use the X-Acto knife to make a tiny insert at the top of the leaf.

Use a pair of jewelry pliers to insert the earring wires into the hole.

And now you’re ready to sport your upcycled designs all over town!

ColumnSix reasons it’s hot to be single right now.

American women are marrying later in life than ever before – the Pew Research Center just released a report indicating the average marrying age is now 28. Coupling-up and exchanging wedding bands used to be considered the gateway into adulthood. Now, individuals trend toward greater concern for their own self-growth, postponing marriage until their personal lives are in order – college, career, world travel, financial security, emotional preparedness. The maturity and economic stability that come with age actually makes divorce less likely for those who wed in their late 20s or 30s. Delaying long-term partnership actually increases its chances for lifelong success.

It is a uniquely privileged point in human history to be without the imperative to trade nuptials and reproduce as soon as you leave home. Our culture of singledom is, in fact, an anthropological luxury. Then why is it that so many of my girlfriends – attractive, twenty and thirtysomething urbanites with rewarding jobs in creative fields – are so focused on circumventing their singleness and honing in on a man who’s the one? In my view, no pursuit could be more pointless. What other opportunity in all of your days will you have the choice to be alone? Maximize this chance while you can. Being single is a temporary state you should relish, rather than run away from. Now is the time to luxuriate in the pleasure of yourself unto yourself, with the how and why all laid out neatly in our weekly Sex by Numbers:

1. Unbearable Lightness of Being: Inevitably, most humans shack up and make babies; indeed, the bulk of women reading this article will spend the greater percentage of their existence in the role of mother and domestic partner. Probably you’ll cohabitate, maybe you’ll marry, and likely over the course of your lifetime you’ll end up doing this several times. The fact of the matter is that your lifespan provides precious few periods to be recklessly happy and accountable to no one but yourself. Women across time and culture could only fantasize about such unprecedented freedom and lightness of being.

2. No One Is Going to Save You: All the struggle, striving, and fretting to find a man is misdirected. This attitude can make you worrisome, stingy, single-minded, and unattractive. Your interior state, no matter how much a person seeks to hide it, manifests in your exterior – whether that be a complaining disposition, lines on your face that register self-pity, or an unhealthy body that reflects emotional and psychological imbalance. Try as one might, there is no masking disproportionate attention on meeting the man you think might save you from your single state. Hear this: If you’re really in need of saving, the only one who can accomplish this is you.

3. No Overeager Beavers: Don’t shy away from sharing affection and enjoying new experiences with men – just don’t peg hopes or expectations on him. It’s not fair to the guy and, even worse, leads to the aforementioned single-mindedness. He and you have only known one another a short while – whether that be a week or a year – and you have no obligations toward and no contract with one another. Be excited about novel experiences, fresh input, and animal attraction – but chill, girl. It’s much sexier to exercise remove than overeager projection of desire.

4. There’s Nobody Eating Finger Paint: You don’t have to clean up after your careless and untidy domestic partner, nor do you have to reason with your four-year-old daughter about the dangers of ingesting her finger paint. Right now, you have only to attend to your personal needs, and you should do so lavishly. Never again will you get to live for yourself, and only yourself. I’m not going to patronize you by enumerating the endless (and endlessly cool) healthy habits and hobbies you could be cultivating, but you’d better be damn sure to throw yourself headlong into the one shot you’ve got at kicking ass and taking names. (In my world, this might include learning how to pickle sweet summer vegetables, taking an Afro-Haitian dance class, learning conversational German, and downloading lots of Noam Chomsky podcasts to listen to on my morning walk to work.)

5. Be the Girl Who’s Game: There is no better opportunity to cultivate a circle of intimates than the present. The profound sense of connection borne of romantic relationship is infinitely rewarding, but so is being the life of the party and belonging to an ever-expanding network of friends. So long as another person is worth the time and energy, never turn down a social invitation: Who knows what meeting for tapas and sangria with a loose circle of acquaintances will lead to? Every cocktail party, every lunch date, and every let’s-go-jogging-together-at-the-park could very well result in unforeseen adventure.

6. Savor Selectivity: The city, and all the boys in it, are your playground – but don’t you remember that the best part of recess was choosing the swing-set over the see-saw? If this metaphor isn’t clear, let me spell it out: Sure, it’s fun to try out all of the implements and apparatuses on the playground, but it’s much more fun to avoid the the tennis courts if you don’t like balls flying at your face. Get it? If a guy asks you out, it’s okay to say No, thank you. The aforementioned be-game-for-anything doctrine doesn’t apply to meh men. It’s much more fun to stick with the hot shit rather than tolerate something mediocre just because you feel lonely. Go on a late-night bike ride, grab a drink with a colleague, or buck caution and stay out late dancing with friends. Whatever you do, don’t let him touch you unless you’re grooving him without equivocation. Being selective is sexy, but more so it spares you unnecessary emotional clutter. This summer, minimalism is tres chic.

ALSO CHECK OUT:

How to Deal With Being Lonely

23 Free and Fun Date Ideas

True Stories of Hooking Up

Sex By Numbers is an ongoing look into the emotional and sexual lives of the modern day woman. Follow Abigail Wick weekly here for insight and inspiration as she explores the “sex” of women and the terrain they must travel.

Image: Anthony Albright

ColumnTips for dealing with female bullies.

One of my favorite stories is the one about my good friend and the little dog. When this friend, whose name is Carol, was a girl growing up in a suburban Seattle cul-de-sac, the neighborhood kids would often meet up after school in a patch of undeveloped woods nearby to play. One day, as she was running along the sidewalk to meet her friends, a neighbor’s Yorkshire terrier came charging down the path at her, and bit her hard. Carol didn’t think twice about how to respond. She picked her up and bit her back. No matter how many times I’ve heard it, I whoop when she tells me how totally shocked the little dog was. As you can imagine, that bitch never bit her again.

Bullies sure do come in all kinds of packages.

A bully can be an adorable Yorkie with a velveteen bow. A bully can be handsome, beautiful, rich, glamorous or more typically, feign a great approximation. This is so that you can later slam your head against the wall while asking yourself, “What the hell did I see in them?” A bully might be your neighbor, your mother-in-law, your business partner, your new best friend. Bullies may be do-gooding, world-saving, tree-hugging, down-and-out-helping, soup-ladling. A friend of mine knows a woman whose mother is a famous self-help guru. The woman herself is a psychotherapist; after many years in therapy she decided she might as well practice it. The reason she spent so many years in therapy is because her famous self-help guru mother hit her all the time.

Forget the bow. Ignore packaging, proceed to contents. Here’s how you know a bully: they bite.

Have you been bullied? I have – more than once, if you count having to live with roommates, and then there’s the one for the ages. My bully, my friend. She really had it all: money, warts, and herpes. I watched my bully cut every friend out of her life in the short time I had the misfortune of knowing her. Of course then it seemed an eternity, or at least a semester. I could have sworn she had made a list of everyone she knew, and one day decided to work her way down it, with the goal of leaving behind as much ruin and destruction to impress me as possible. When she severed ties with her best friend – who was terrified of her – over an argument about pleats on skirts, I reckoned my neck was up next. It was. Where I had once existed on a pedestal, I was now a bunion on the vamp of her progress, a sea urchin in the waters of her expression. Simply showing up to my life each morning caused her suffering. Couldn’t I wash my car more often? Couldn’t I change my ring tone? Did it matter if I had feelings and hopes and dreams or a separate different definitely provable-by-science autonomous existence apart from hers?

Faced with the inevitable path before me, I armed myself with psychology books from more than one trip to Barnes & Noble and consulted my people. Soon enough, having exhausted her supply of other people to chew on, she started biting me. Because I had prepared, I was able to walk away in a move that left her spluttering – I bit back – but what if she’d been my boss? Oh, that’s right, she was.

Who on earth are these people? Tina Fey called them Mean Girls, and they are everywhere, no matter how grown up we get. Naively, I had approached my very first bully with the plucky optimism of a community fundraiser. Soon, she needed me and my reliable niceness, and when you get to that point it’s a short trip to toast. I was but the earnest wheat germ, she, the flaring toaster.

Public service moment: Awareness of bullying has increased in recent years as our society has become more comfortable with acknowledging how bullying can be devastating, potentially scarring us for life. If you have a child who is being bullied, or if you yourself are in a situation you cannot get out of, or if the bullying has become abusive, this is not the best article for you. You should seek professional help now. The good news is that there is recourse in many cases; in fact, some states, such as Massachusetts, have even outlawed bullying. The trouble with bullying, though, is that as adults we can’t drag our bullies to the principal’s office.

How are we supposed to be women of principle and planet when we’ve got a yipping Yorkie on our butts? Easy. Really. When it comes to dealing with the garden variety mean girl, you do not need to read Sun Tzu. You do not need to possess Machiavellian insight. You do not even need to read every single one of the books I read (although please don’t tell the authors I said that). Here’s what you do need to know about your female bully:

1. Learn your bully. It won’t be hard. First, know that she is not well. She is really miserable. We are not talking about your friend with her flaws who lashed out that one time because her boyfriend dumped her. We are not talking about your bossy boss or your crazy client. We are talking core unwell, status Mother Mary. If you are sensitive to others, it can be easy to focus on their flaws, but remember that most people are basically good and decent, with occasional blips of stupid behavior. Learn to differentiate dramatic blips from toxic patterns.

2. But dear God, don’t be fascinated by her. If you’re a forensic dork like me, by all means, read twelve or twenty books on bullying. Google your heart out. But don’t get so sucked in to her neurosis or pathology that you fall for your bully. Bullies are really rather empty save for their pain, which is why they are unhappy, which is why they lash out. Translation: they aren’t that interesting. They have very little capacity for self-awareness. Oh, they may know they are mean and nasty – and she will probably even brag about it – but think about it. Since they’re rocking it so hard, it must be all they have. Your bully is but a vapid inedible puffball of mean, stuck on Repeat.

3. Find some compassion. I’m serious: she is miserable. I know it is very hard when someone is targeting you – hurting your business, or your good name, or just you – and really, really hard if you must spend a lot of time with this woman or if she pays your bills, but remember that she is miserable. If you can muster even the tiniest bit of compassion for her – and I am talking corn kernel – it will help you feel relief. Comfort. Happiness. Security. Acceptance. Warmth. Love. Have you experienced these things? Your bully hasn’t, at least not nearly enough to function. Happy people who feel safe and loved do not actively bother with controlling and hurting others. They just function.

4. But show no mercy. Compassion is essential to coping, and it’s also just good karma. But it’s for you, not her. Don’t feel compelled to help, mentor, teach or love her and by doing so, become complicit in your own abuse. She is not your case. She is not your concern. If you’re forced to engage with her for professional reasons or personal commitments, keep it as light and brief as possible, and don’t ever reach out to her in a spur of generosity. Forgiveness does not require masochism. No drunk texting your bully, baby.

5. Understand that she operates on one channel: hers. And it’s boring. You may seriously wonder if she has Asperger’s, or start to think that she has a hearing problem. How could anyone be so derivative, grandiose and obtuse? A bully could. Learn the traits of narcissism; the fat red flag is contempt, but there are eight more signs. Bullying is the calling card of the narcissist. Narcissists are self-absorbed to the point that they don’t recognize others as individuals with their own needs, and I am not talking about your cat. They’re both shallow and self-obsessed, but at least the cat doesn’t bite.

6. Love the one you’re with? Never. If you’re skilled at pacifying, whether from growing up with an abusive or addicted parent or managing child actors, you’re particularly at risk for doing this. Don’t try to be “the one” that your bully adores while everyone else gets the mean treatment. Eventually, your bully will turn on you, and it will hurt.

7. Walk away. Did you consider this? If the thought of never seeing your bully again gives you more joy than the thought of a bathtub full of calorie-free sea-salt and caramel chocolate truffles dipped in lottery tickets, fame, a flat stomach and true love, it’s time to walk away. We can get so wrapped up in our bullies and their bad behavior, we forget that just a few short months or years ago, we were living the charmed life free of Cruella. Just imagine: You can live that life again. Unless it’s your married mate or your boss, you can walk away fairly quickly and easily. Really. I promise. I know, you’re saying “But I just can’t, you don’t understand!” I do. Walk away. You will not die and you will not get sued. (And if you really fear for your life, see the above note about getting professional help.) Bullies can be smart; they can even be right. But they are never entitled to bite.

8. What a keeper! Here’s the other thing about bullies: they almost always come back. That’s because as narcissists, they have terrible memories in every sense – terrible in a way that thrills with its occasional laser focus, and terrible in a way that infuriates with its amnesiac spin. You can bite back, walk away, avoid, or simply suffer in silence, and they will always test the fences. Keep her on a short leash lest she keep you.

9. Pretend she is spectacularly stupid. Treat your bully as if she is at least a full quadrant on the IQ chart below Larry in Dumb and Dumber. We can spend infinite mind time asking “Why me? Why that? Why would she?” This is a waste of your energy. You are dealing with the emotional and intellectual equivalent of an office chair. Bullies often don’t know their bad behavior is bad, so don’t assume they know. The reason they’ve gotten so far in life behaving this way is because they’ve encountered a whole lot of people like you – that is, sane, normal folk – who all think “No one could possibly do this on purpose! Why me? Why that? Why would she?” Nice can get you a long way, but spice can get you further. So, when your bully lashes out, call it with confidence. Don’t be hostile; simply state that you recognize this behavior as aggressive and inappropriate, and you will not tolerate it because you don’t like to be treated that way. You’re not on a committee with her; this is not a review-the-behavior democracy. You are in charge, you define, you speak up, and that’s final. It’s so easy after you do it once, you’ll be annoyed that you didn’t do it sooner. It really works. Don’t yell, don’t coddle, don’t back down. Just express, and then shut up. Your bully will react in three ways: she will suddenly find a fascinating hole in the floor into which to crawl; she will erupt in screams and tears (don’t hug her), or she will act like you didn’t say a thing. But at least for that day, she will stop.

10. Don’t bite back too hard. A mean girl is really more bark than bite. Think about it: when someone is playing an abusive mind game with you, it only works if you participate. Bullying requires you to play the game, too. If you walk away, or take off the gear, neither one of you can play anymore. Seth Godin said it best: “Drop the ball.” (I wish I could find the permalink; if you do, tell me.) Realize that your bully is really quite weak – this is a little girl throwing a tantrum, not Maleficent directing the ozone layer. Walking away is shock enough to the bully, who has the emotional fortitude of a Yorkie. You’re just a shape or a shadow in her picture postcard world, so disrupting the mirage and stepping out of the frame is going to be deeply terrifying to her. Despite your overwhelming desire (believe me, I know), avoid layin’ it on thick with added helpings of vitriol or vengeance.

And good luck. There are so many nice girls, there’s just no time for mean. Find your true friends and together, you can do a lot, including calling off the dog or, when necessary, biting back.

P.S. My good friend Carol who bit the dog back is my mother. Thanks, Mom.

This is the latest installment in your editor’s column, The Insider’s Guide to Life, exploring topics such as media, culture, sex, politics, and anything else. Cheers and spellcheck!

Image: djg0333

An interview with the founder of a hot new green fashion finder app.

As any stylish eco dresser will tell you, it’s all about access. From finding the perfectly cut organic cotton tee, recycled leather boot or that vintage tea dress that makes a modern statement, putting together a unique low impact look is hard. We rely on tips from those style savvy friends who keep an ear to the ground for new designers, sport lines we’ve never heard of and the scoop on that secret vintage store in town that isn’t overpicked and -priced.

And let’s face it, when it comes to nabbing the best items, relations between pals can get decidedly unfriendly. Ever conveniently forgot the location of your favorite eco store when someone asks where you got that incredible recycled jacket? Or felt a sharp pang of jealousy at a friend’s beautiful vintage find?

Thanks to a new smart phone app launched in the San Francisco Bay Area last week, you’ll have access to all the latest insider information right at your very own fingertips. GreenGlamGo is a mobile social platform that offers the ability to search for green beauty products, sustainable fashion and vintage, handmade items from the retailers who stock them.

GreeGlamGo co-founder, Clarissa Nicola, answers a few questions and shows us how simple it is to keep our shopping sustainable and our shopping relationships civil.

What is GreenGlamGo and how do I get it?

It is for consumers who want access to green fashion, vintage, handmade items, Made in the USA, green bridal, and green beauty products. It is also for green brands and etailers who want to participate on a mobile application platform. We wanted to expand the playing field for consumers beyond online. We created a platform using flash lite 4 and adobe on Nokia phones so their products can be browsed easily and quickly.

What personal challenge inspired the creation of GreenGlamGo?

I have been in the fashion industry for 20 years now, and produced  over 2000 fashion shows and trend presentations for consumers and merchants. After my 10th season of telling customers to buy yet another new pair of black pants for their wardrobe, I stopped and thought “Really?  Do these people really need to buy another pair of black pants? How many pairs of black pants does one person need?”.  I looked at my own closet and realized I had about 20 different pairs, all in different shapes and fit and lengths. Then, I thought of the other basics, like white blouses, t-shirts, and I couldn’t help but think of the impact I was making by motivating people to buy more and inferring that what they had wasn’t enough.

Can you give us a run-thru of the process of say, finding a local fashion designer producing sustainable hats?

We  have four main categories: Handmade, Fashion, Bridal, Beauty. If a user clicks on Handmade, then Hats on the top navigation, they can easily find hats. If they want Bridal hats, they click Bridal first, then hats.

Tell us why you decided to include a handmade section, which doesn’t necessarily feature green designers?

We realize the importance of handmade as it keeps production out of factories, which greatly impact the environment.  With sites like Etsy, we felt it was visually cluttered and hard to navigate. We wanted to feature the best of handmade and to raise that bar by keeping it easy to find within the 4 main categories.

Why do you think it’s so hard to find green and locally produced items?

It is hard because they’re not accessible. No one knows where to find these things. People will buy green if it’s easy and they aren’t inconvenienced. The price has to be right, too. While it can be expensive, we built this platform to give small green businesses a chance to go global and expand their playing field. The more people know about what’s out there, the more accessible it is, and the more prices will go down.

How do you plan to promote GreenGlamGo to communities outside of SF, LA and NYC where it’s so much harder to find sustainably made fashion and beauty?

We partnered with Nokia as Nokia smart phones have a stronger market over the iPhone world wide. Their phones are purchased the most in Eastern Europe, Western Europe, Asia, and Latin America. That is one of the reasons why we went with them. Everyone goes to iPhone first with their app because they dominate the smart phone market in the US. We’re looking to reach as many potential green consumers as possible.

ColumnAn urban farming legalization trend sweeps the country.

Looking for a work-at-home green job? You might consider tilling the backyard and planting a few crops.

No more fossil fuel burning commute, no need for professional attire purchased from sweatshop supporting retailers, no more disposable containers from the workaday desktop lunch, and no driving to the gym to counteract your sedentary lifestyle.

Not to mention, you’ll be helping the soil, planting oxygen-producing plants, not fertilizing (and mowing) a lawn, producing local food that doesn’t have to travel far, and building your own little food shed.

The urban farming trend has blossomed over the past few years, but most of the people growing food are only doing it for themselves and maybe some friends and neighbors. While commendable, imagine if urban farming were a viable career and a dependable source of food for city dwellers? We need more people producing food in this country. The average age of farmers is mid-50s and only one percent of people in the U.S. list farming as their occupation. Urban farming can benefit communities by serving as a cushion against recession, a safety net during times of disruption in services, and can also increase urban self-reliance, foster a sense of community and shared purpose, not to mention bring urban dwellers closer to the cycles of nature.

Could urban farming be a burgeoning green business allowing more eager, young farmers to build a career?

If this all sounds a little pie-in-the-sky, it might soon be a reality in many parts of the country.

Energetic young urban farmers all over the U.S. have been working hard to raise awareness and lobby for laws that will let them grow (and sell) food in their own neighborhoods, and they’ve been making progress.

The San Francisco planning commission unanimously supported a proposal to simplify permitting to allow home gardeners to sell their produce. The measure now goes before the Board of Supervisors. This is great news for Little City Gardens, the only urban farming business I know of. The garden provides salad greens and culinary herbs from its 3/4 acre spread to a few restaurants and caterers. Little City Gardens was the trailblazer, but I imagine many more gardeners would start such businesses if only there was legal framework.

Here’s a look at what’s happening on the urban gardening front:

- In Berkeley, the City Council is working with the planning commission to get home-based gardens added into the city code as a legal home-based business.

- In Vancouver, WA, urban farmers teamed up to form a co-op and open their own farmers market to sell home-grown produce.

- Last summer, Seattle changed the city zoning codes to allow for more urban farms, increased the number of chickens residents could legally keep, and made it legal for growers to sell backyard produce.

- Also last summer, Los Angeles made it legal to farm within the city limits and to sell home-grown produce through the Food and Flowers Freedom Act.

- The town of Sedgewick ME, just last week passed The Local Food and Self Governance Ordinance, which not only exempts direct farm sales from state and federal licensing and inspection, but goes even further to also allow the sale of foods made in the home kitchen.

- Last summer, Kansas City passed an ordinance allowing home gardeners to sell their harvest.

- Similarly, Michigan’s Cottage Food Law allows the sale of certain approved foods produced in residential kitchens from homes, farm markets, or roadside stands, county fairs, festivals, and other events, provided the food is labeled as coming from an un-inspected home kitchen.

- Detroit, being perhaps the nation’s epicenter of urban farming, hopefully won’t have long to wait to achieve official recognition of its many urban farms currently operating without the proper zoning to legitimize them.

All over the country, citizens are working with their local governments to take back the production of their own food. The names of some of the new laws are telling: “freedom act,” “self governance ordinance,” this is the language of change, maybe even revolution.

People are ready to wrest control of what they eat out of the hands of big food. Though these movements may seem tiny, looked at together they represent a mighty wave of people taking up hoes to make real change in their neighborhoods.

Do you have an urban farmer inside of you? Maybe you want to get ahead of the competition. Try these 5 ideas for transforming your own backyard.

This is the latest installment in Vanessa Barrington’s weekly column, The Green Plate, on the environmental, social, and political issues related to what and how we eat.

Image: Christine Paulus

How the crockpot resurgence contributes to the American slow down.

My crockpot - the SUV space hog of the kitchen counter – is my new enabler in the quest to take time to smell the roses, not to mention the aromatic free-range bird melding with organic onions and homegrown herbs in a lethargic, six-hour simmer. Toss them in the pot, come back for the gold six hours later. A meal that drove itself home. It’s what’s for dinner.

The process of slow-cooking tasty comfort food without constantly stirring the pot helps me and countless others to heed Michael Pollan’s directive to focus on “real food” and connect with life – especially during a time when spare minutes to hover is chronically elusive.

“It opens up a space to do other things and this is huge when it comes to reducing stress,” observes Thea Singer, Ph.D. – author of Stress Less: The New Science That Shows Women How to Rejuvenate The Body and The Mind. “We know the benefits of mindful eating, and you could say that another synonym of the slow food movement is mindful cooking.”

Yes, time is what fuels the resurgence, at least on the ceramic surface. Like a lover who gives generously without demanding constant hugs and feedback, the plug-in grub tub frees us up to do our thing – only to come together in the evening and share what we bring to the table as a unit.

Unless you’re a Top Chef contender or former professional stuck at home with too much time on your hands,  neediness in food prep can be a major turn off, especially during hectic week days when a lofty goal might be schlepping to the taco stand to get burritos on the table before seven.

“Braising is what I would usually do on a Saturday or Sunday if it’s raining and I can walk over to the stove and stir every half hour, and the slow cooker lets you do that on a week day before you go to work,” says Jill Santopietro (above), the senior food editor of Chow.com, who vlogs recipes.  “But you have to choose the right recipes that need eight hours of cooking. A lot f them, like a veggie stew I made in our test kitchen, cooks in three hours. You still have to be there, so it’s not full proof.”

Still, it’s a step in the right direction, agrees Santopietro. But the consummate foodie adds that true mindful cooking results from mindful planning, something our society greatly lacks.

“As a kid, my grandmother would plan in the morning for dinner, and that is what is missing from our culture,” says the chef and writer. “People  in this country don’t think about what they are going to cook for dinner.  If you don’t think and go to the store and plan, you will end up going to a fast food joint to get dinner when you are starving.”

Despite the clever advertising, the fast food we reach for when starving contributes to obesity, diabetes, breakouts and other undesirable side effects, while slow cooked turkey chili, veggie stew and lentil soup sans the corn syrup and trans fats is typically the antithesis to all of that. Of course, you have to eat it slow, too, to reverse the national epidemics rushing us to early deaths.

Researchers on the cutting edge of linking cooler jets to happier cells find listening to our bodies is the key to thriving, according to UCSF Dept. of  Psychiatry professor, Elissa Epel, who specializes in identifying mind-body behavior that promotes stress resilience.

Five steps Epel cites in achieving well being: Breathing and awareness, staying present and minimizing time traveling, expressing gratitude and savoring, carving out a time allowance and daily exercise (the big E). Add the antioxidants and vitamins, handfuls of pistachio nuts, blueberries and purified Omega -3, and you might add years to your life. Of course, eliminating the stinking thinking goes a long way, too.

“Our brains are set up to focus on the negative,” says Epel, “But we can choose to reinterpret any negative experience and restore cells that deteriorate when we age or experience stress.” Take the example of not getting an ideal parking space at the store. When you tell yourself you are doing something great for cell regeneration by walking further, you create a positive spin that boosts your health.

Health science has witnessed a greater emphasis on cellular aging and the telomere maintenance system, an area led by Epel and several colleagues who form the Psychoneuroendocrinology Laboratory Group – which runs studies on issues such as stress – induced cortisol and overeating.

“Cortisol kicks off dopamine, and the reward system stimulates wanting to get what we need,” Epel explains. “We go in search of fatty and sweet food because we think we are exerting ourselves and this leads to a cycle similar to addiction,” she has found.

Which leads me back to the crockpot, and the question, could this help break that cycle of addiction and other bad behavior which shortens our lives?

Santopietro, who doesn’t own a crockpot, says it can help you relax, but isn’t a cure-all.

“A slow cooker won’t cure people of not going for that quick fat option,” she finds. “A better method is thinking more about food in advance. I’m an anomaly because I think of food more than the average person – I’m obsessed with it. There are great recipes you can make in 30 minutes without a cooker.”

Guess it boils down to the old adage: failing to plan is planning to fail. Can thinking ahead help us carve out that time to hover on a rainy Sunday or even sunny Monday the way foodies do to feed their souls along with those they love?

Maybe so. Until then, I’m sticking to my crockpot. As I said, it’s my enabler.

Images: Christine Leiser, Busbeytheelder, Chow, Amazon

ColumnIf you can read this sentence without corrective lenses, you are pre-disposed to eco-activism.

Let me make one thing clear: I am not old. Although, to be perfectly honest, I am not exactly young, either. On the continuum of age, I happen to fall at the precise numeric midpoint between Miley Cyrus and Betty White – a piece of pop culture trivia which somehow strikes me as deeply significant. If I had to guess, I would say that I am also somewhere between those two women when it comes to my wardrobe, my taste in music, and my bong habits. But when it comes to recycling, I feel like I belong firmly in the ranks of the elderly.

Recycling, much like computer skills, comes organically to those in their 20s and younger. Being planet-friendly is natural to them, since they have never known a world where newspapers could be carelessly thrown out, along with banana peels and tuna fish cans. For young people, recycling is easy and automatic – it is embedded in their DNA, along with Facebook and an endless fascination with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. But the biggest eco advantage for young people is that they can easily read the teeny tiny numbers inside the teeny tiny triangles on the bottom of plastic recyclable goods. Whereas I – squinting, in full daylight, and holding the item as far away from me as my arms will allow – cannot.

Those numbers tell you what a particular item is made of: a number 1 means the container is polyethylene terephthalate, and a 3 signifies the presence of polyvinyl chloride. Items with a number 1 or 2 are the most likely to be recycled, but for anyone over the age of 40 these numerals – especially when imprinted on clear plastic – are almost impossible to read. My friend, Pat, solves this problem by waiting until her kids come home from school before disposing of anything plastic. My own solution is to be constantly surrounded by a ginormous collection of reading glasses.

I used to think of glasses as fashion accessories –  like an extremely functional pair of earrings. When I was young, and didn’t really need glasses to see, I enjoyed the “smart girl/sexy librarian” vibe I thought they lent me. If I liked a pair of frames, I would buy the glasses and wait for my eyes to deteriorate into them. Then came a near catastrophe, when misreading the directions on a medicine bottle almost caused me to give my daughter an overdose of Robitussin. At that point, glasses were no longer an accessory, but a necessity. Today they have become something of a fetish. I have glasses that I keep upstairs and some that stay downstairs; there is always one pair in my car, one in my office, and another in my purse. This past week alone I discovered forgotten glasses in my junk drawer, the pocket of an old winter coat, and under the dog’s bed. And there is one massively strong pair I keep around just for texting.

But the numbers on the bottom of jars and bottles are so ridiculously small that even plentiful access to reading glasses doesn’t necessarily help.  This strikes me a galling example of ageism. The Boomers invented ecology – we are, after all, the generation that dreamed up Earth Day. We should not be carelessly shoved aside by a youth oriented eco culture.  Recycling information should be printed in a font size that even mature adults are able to see. It’s bad enough that people my age can’t wear skinny jeans or two-piece bathing suits anymore – at least let us recycle our Activia containers.

Editor’s Note: Susan Goldberg is a slightly lapsed treehugger. Although known to overuse paper products, she has the best of intentions – and a really small SUV. Catch her column, The Goldberg Variations, each week here at EcoSalon.

Image: e-magic

Full lips are hot, and we can thank Angelina Jolie. Sure, women were concerned about lips before Brad Pitt’s leading lady hit the scene. But were they injecting fillers into their pout before Mother Jolie came into our consciousness? Were terms like celebrity pout, trout pout, and “For the love of Pete, someone stop that woman before she can blink her lips?” part of our consciousness? Not so much.

So women want full smackers, and they are going to great lengths to get them. (White women, we might add. Women of African descent generally have the genetic advantage.) Lindsay Lohan famously pouted up before her last rehab/jail stint. Jessica Simpson admitted that she looked like a blowfish after injections. Jennifer Garner is known for her “natural” work. Lisa Rinna, lip pioneer extraordinaire, recently admitted to silicone injections in her upper lip – which she has since had surgically repaired.

Wanting fuller lips isn’t so bad – just turning them into floatation devices can be problematic. After all, our lips are an erogenous zone and va-va-voomy smackers go a long way on the evolutionary train. But a little bee-stung look can go a long way in working a lipstick. And here are some natural ways to get a temporary pouty pucker.

1. Moisturize, you say?

If you lips are cracked and dry, they aren’t going to shine with health and beauty. Keeping your lips moisturized will reduce fine lines and let them look fuller. Recently, we checked out hellomellow’s Lip Butters, which offer up a natural hydration for under $10. Made from avocado and mango butters ripe in fatty acids, they are also free of parabens, sulfates, phthalates and other synthetic ingredients. Do they hydrate well? They do indeed, as well as any petroleum-based product.

2. Apply a lip hydration mask.

Did we mention you need to keep your lips moisturized? We may have mentioned that. For the ultimate way to pamper up your pout, whip up a homemade lip mask. Check out a “Just Juicy Red” mask courtesy of Narine Nikosian’s Return to Beauty.

Ingredients: 1/2 teaspoon cottage cheese, 1/2 teaspoon sour cream, 1/2 teaspoon beet juice, rose oil.
In a small bowl, combine the cottage cheese, sour cream, and beet juice, Mix well. Pat over the lip area with your fingertips. Relax for 15 minutes. Rinse with warm water and smooth a few drops of rose oil over your lips to seal in the moisture.

3. Brush your lips.

Your lips respond to mild irritation by swelling. But keep it light. As one expert noted, “mild irritation does not mean you scrap off layers of skin.” One way to achieve this is to mildly brush your lips after brushing your teeth. Then, as the same expert noted, be sure to apply a good lip balm. You’ve just exfoliated – the last thing you want is to dry out your pout.

4. Get spicy with cinnamon or peppermint oil.

Cinnamon or peppermint oils can increase the blood flow to your lips, making them appear fuller for a short period of time. Pick up a bottle of organic cinnamon or peppermint oil. Starting with just one drop, mix it in with your lip balm of choice and apply. But be careful not to apply the oils directly to your lips, as the oils can sting in concentrated doses.

5. Line your lips.

Yes, simple makeup can go a long way in making up luscious lips. For a more natural look, apply a subtle, natural lip liner just outside your natural lip line. Make sure the pencil is sharp so it gives a more natural look. Then apply a sheer gloss in your natural color. Your lips will look larger. Unless you went too far over your lip line. Then you will look like a pretty Bozo the Clown.

6. Face yoga. Yes, face yoga.

Some suggest daily exercises to promote your pout, such as puckering your lips and blow a kiss. Don’t believe us? Click here.

FTC Compliance

Image: gageskidmore

We know – it’s at the top of your to-do list. How to make clear ice cubes.

Clear ice is all the rage. When you’re a foodie, every detail counts. And what could be more attractive than stylish, unusual hunks of clear ice in your fancy cocktail?

So what’s the secret to clear ice, anyway? The answer is two-fold: pure water and slow freezing. You need to start with filtered or distilled water. Then, for extra insurance, boil the water before pouring it into trays. (Some recommend boiling the water not once, but twice, for extra, extra insurance. Seems like overkill to me. But then again, you have chosen to make clear ice.) Additionally, if the water goes into the freezer still hot, this slows down the freezing time, which assists in making crystal clear ice. Easy, right?! (Just don’t put fully boiling water into plastic trays, ahem.)

Now you’ve got the secret to clear ice. But what about the shape of the ice? Wouldn’t it be sexier to have carved ice cubes as opposed to cubes from ordinary old trays? Alcademics recommends putting your (distilled, boiled, still warm) water into a cooler and placing the whole thing in the freezer. Follow their step-by-step instructions for carving the ice.

Howcast recommends using muffin tins for larger and longer lasting ice. Who wants a diluted drink? Genius!

The site American Drink also has some good tips for making perfect ice, such as keeping your freezer clean to prevent the ice from absorbing wayward smells and buying better quality ice trays, such as these from Tovolo.

Enough said, I think it’s time for that perfect cocktail on the rocks!

“For some ridiculous reason, it is considered ‘deep’ to value intellect, and shallow to value ‘beauty’. Beauty is much harder to find, impossible to imitate, and incomparable in its effect on the human spirit.” – Goldfarb on cooking, 2009.

Image: Buena Vista Images

Do you unwittingly dish about your love troubles with your mom when her inquiring mind wants to know? Do you divulge your style sources to your BFF even though she is never a satisfied customer and will complain endlessly about the results? Do you agree to schedule dates and appointments that suit someone else’s schedule but not your own, just not knowing how to say no?

Take heart, you people-pleaser, you. Many of us are in the same boat when it comes to setting boundaries, according to San Francisco therapist Helena McMahon, LMFT, who works with clients on positive strategies for saying no when necessary. She says that for some of us, the need to please comes from childhood and experiencing a self-sacrificing role model or a situation where it was made clear our needs were less important than those of the people around us. Here’s how to say “No.”

“There is a part of all of us that wants to please people and be seen as generous, helpful or just plain nice,” she explains, adding “the trick is to find the right balance between taking care of ourselves and giving freely of our time and resources.”

Here are more tricks of the trade for setting healthy boundaries that stick:

1. Say it With a Smile

It’s as easy to say “no” with a smile and as it is to protest angrily like a temperamental child. Be honest, speak from the heart, and your boundaries will be respected. It is hard to fail when you are coming from the heart.

2. Mean What You Say

Be emphatic. If you kind of allow yourself to be treated badly and sort of hint you don’t really want to go to a certain movie or eat a certain kind of cuisine, then you aren’t really sending a clear message.

3. Convince Yourself That You Know What Is Best For You

Steer your own ship, despite those who say they know what is best for you. As McMahon offers, “we all need to listen to ourselves, to train ourselves to trust our gut instincts and realize that it’s really a good thing to say no once in a while so we have the time and energy to replenish our own inner resources and be our best selves for those we care about most.”

4. Steer Away From the Passive Aggressive Course

It’s easy to fall into a pattern of sarcasm and personal attacks when you feel your needs aren’t being met. You try to manipulate to get results rather than dealing in honesty. Be straightforward in your communication and you will not build resentment and alienate those you care about.

5. Create Daily Affirmations

We forget we need to take care of ourselves every day of our lives, and creating an affirmation, like a mantra, will help you remember to love and honor yourself. (I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggoneit, people like me!) Meantime, in seeking help with your personal issues, resist playing the needy victim that needs rescuing, but rather be a strong individual who thrives with love and friendship.

6. Lose the Urge to be a Chronic People Pleaser

Yes, being accommodating is kind, but not when you are putting yourself at a disadvantage. Being somewhat selfish is essential for maintaining healthy boundaries. Keep in mind those flight safety measures about first strapping that oxygen mask on yourself before aiding energy suckers who need you. You are no good to anyone if you aren’t taking deep, healthy breaths.

7. Define Your Need for Space

When your wishes aren’t being respected, you need to let people know they are invading your emotional and personal space. Know yourself what the lines are and maintain them rather than allowing yourself to grin and bare the invasion.

8. Nip Boundary-Crossing Conversations In the Bud

The moment a conversation goes south, you need to issue a friendly warning, and if that fails, bail. Hang up the phone, disconnect from the computer, get up and walk out. What does going south mean? When the other party is abusing or disrespecting you, posing danger or threats, pressuring, probing, shaming. No, you don’t have to take it. No, you don’t deserve it.

9. Boost Your Feelings of Self Worth

Take action to feel good about yourself, your body, your motives, your parenting, your partnering, your work.  Whether it’s a self-help group or book, therapy, exercise or a therapeutic cleanse, find a way to embrace your reflection in a compassionate and loving way.

10. Learn to Respect the Boundaries of Others

You have to recognize and respect the boundaries set by your loved ones and friends to truly be able to set healthy ones for yourself. Practice accepting the word no without an argument. Refuse to pressure those who ask you to lay off. Walk the walk.

Images: fotogail, Roland; Breathe Easier; Cozy Beehive; Quinnanya; bwise; contrarianmedia; long trek home; Icanchaheezburger; Boingboing