The less optimistic among us love to point out that “green” is a trend, and, like all trends, that it will fade with time. I proudly say that I’m not green because it’s trendy, but because it’s who I am. I strive for beauty and balance in my life, and that means respecting the people, plants and animals around me. I’ve raised my standards and have come to expect a world where everybody cares about the consequences of their actions.

More than just an accumulation of ecologically-sound actions, being green has to be who you are. It’s an intuitive thing; it means taking into account your neighbors, the trees in your yard, the birds nesting in that tree, and the bugs that sustain those birds. It means being aware of the big web that holds this world together, and then letting your actions come from that awareness. Everything is interconnected.

Respect, self-awareness and future-thinking are at the heart of being green. Nobody can do it all, but all of us can do our best. I don't think green is a trend; I think we're all finally waking up to ask the important question: how will my actions affect the seventh generation?

Image: Mayr

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I’m sure you’ve heard it a million times, “You’re a human being, not a human doing.” Um, yeah, so what does that mean? How are you just supposed to "be" when there a million things pressing on your time? Work, home duties, family obligations - life!

Well, maybe you can make time for some sleep yoga. Yoga Nidra, the yoga of sleep, involves nothing more than laying down in shavasana, relaxing, and listening to some guided meditation. And as easy as that sounds, it can be really challenging. When was the last time you were able to clear your mind and be still?

The incredible thing about Yoga Nidra is that it helps you reach a state of being that transcends all your problems and obligations. For a few moments you can float in perfect bliss and feel who you truly are. It’s from this kind of mental state that brilliant insights arise. You may reach a new perspective on your activities, something that’ll make the doing part of life so much easier. So give yourself a chance to just be - you deserve it.

Image: devilpato1

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To paraphrase Gandhi, you have to be the change you want to see in the world. If you don’t do it, who will? We’re depending on you (yes, you!) to take the first steps to show everyone how it’s done. Are you up to the challenge? Here’s how you can be the change:

Be the Change in Your Relationships

Communicate. If you’re serious about having profound and loving personal relationships, you have to learn about effective communication. One little-known tip is that listening is just as important as speaking. Check out Non-Violent Communication; it's the best method I know for teaching the communication skills we never learned growing up.

Be Honest. Lying never, ever pays off. You’ll know you did something wrong, and subconsciously so will your partner. Either be transparent with your partner or don’t do those things you'll have to lie about.

Own Up To Your Part. You are not a victim! You play a part in everything that happens in your relationship. Quit blaming others so you can get to the real nitty-gritty of communication, honesty, growth and love.

Look in the Mirror. Do you always like what you see when you look at your loved ones? Remember, they are mirrors showing you parts of yourself. Keep this in mind when the emotional triggers are pulled, and use this information to help you develop more understanding and better connections with the people in your life.

Study Tantra. It’s not all about sex, I swear, but it does make it better. Actually, Tantra teaches about self-love, masculine-feminine balance, and a profound spiritual connection with your partner and the world. Go on, try it.

Be the Change at Work

Do What You Love. You’re not doing anyone any good by suffering at a job you hate. Take a risk and follow your heart. What have you got to lose but your chains? You'll never regret being courageous. (Daring is not the same thing as irresponsible, so try to take calculated risks, not foolish ones.)

Be of Service. Does your occupation contribute to making the world a better place? Enlightened connection with the world requires that we pursue positive and meaningful work, or we’ll just be pursuing empty, egoic dreams.

Don’t Sell Your Soul for Money. Doing something you don’t feel good about just for the money ultimately crushes your soul. It’s always better to do the right thing. Imagine what the world would be if everybody did? But don't feel guilty for being a career go-getter, either - you can use your position and money for the greater good.

Know When to Take a Break. Or a Vacation. Burnout creates more stress, worse health, lower morale and less productivity. Why let yourself get to that point at all?

Consider Work a Classroom. You spend so much time on the job, why not use the arising challenges as a chance to practice being present, compassionate and communicative? Learn to see your job as a springboard for your personal evolution.

Be the Change in Your Health

Eat Consciously. It doesn’t matter so much what you eat as how you eat it, and why. Emotional eating drives us straight to empty foods, whereas self-love makes us want to treat our bodies in the best way. Are you feeding your human machine the finest superfoods, or are you filling up your old clunker with junk?

Move Your Body. Dance, run, bike to the grocery store, do yard work, walk the dog, lift heavy boxes, stretch or do yoga. I don’t care what you do, just get up and do something! Give your heart a reason to pump blood!

Eliminate Toxic Products. Consider every product you use in your house and on your body. Are they poisonous? Carcinogenic? Educate yourself about household and cosmetic chemicals and phase them out of your life forever.

Heal All Your Bodies. It’s humbling to realize that your physical health is deeply intertwined with your emotional and mental health, too. This means you have to look at underlying issues when addressing physical symptoms. Be brave and don’t be afraid to dig a little deeper.

Rest, Relaxation and Relief. Sound, sex, and breathing: there are so many wonderful ways to relieve stress. Use them!

Be the Change for the Environment

Ride Your Bike. Or use public transportation as much as you can. Everybody’s transportation needs are different, but it’s important to set an intention to move yourself around in a healthier, more sustainable manner.

Reduce Electronic Appliance Use. Turn out the lights when you leave the room, unplug appliances when not in use, enjoy evenings by candlelight, and sit outside under the summer moon. Instant bliss.

Ask the Big Question. When making purchasing, lifestyle and household decisions, ask yourself “If everybody else did this too, what would the world be like?”

Reduce. Reuse. Simplify. The simpler your needs, the less resources have to be taken from the environment to support them. Remember, Zen is in.

Learn About Permaculture. It’s more than just an incredibly efficient way to garden; Permaculture principles can be applied to businesses and society in general. Self-sufficient and sustainable to the core - it's the triple bottom line.

Be the Change in Your Self

Don’t Be Afraid of Therapy. There are so many different ways to unravel your inner knots, it would be silly not to give them a try. Why reinvent the wheel and try to figure it all out yourself? Sometimes you need the help of someone with experience. Check out yoga therapy, sound therapy, and dance therapy in addition to traditional talk therapies.

Meditate. Even if you don’t set aside time for seated or walking meditation, make an effort to be mindful and present in all that you do. That’s what’s called living meditation.

Be Creative. Keep a journal, carry a sketchbook, make jewelry, funkify your clothes, grow a garden – anything that puts your best energies into material form. The good of the world depends on your creative contributions.

Maintain A Spiritual Connection. No matter what your faith, the world is sweeter and makes much more sense when you live by the belief that we are interconnected and essentially all One.

Identify Your Purpose and Passion. Then let that purpose and passion guide your life. Follow your bliss!

How will you be the change today?

Image: Mayr

Sara’s shameless plug: Hi, it’s your editor. De-lurk, dear reader, and leave this fabulous writer a comment. (We love chatting.) You can also share this post with friends – just click your favorite social bookmark listed below. New reader? Be sure to sign up for the weekly newsletter to win free eco goodies! You can also subscribe to any RSS feed your heart desires.

If you’re a human being, you have an ego. Your ego is a tool, like a piece of software, allowing you to interact with the world. It’s how you make decisions, set personal boundaries and maintain self-esteem. You take care of yourself, you feel good about who you are, and you stand by your values. These are signs of a healthy ego.

It’s when your ego takes over that the wars begin. A big ego makes a big fool (even if you're not aware of it). Here are some ways to identify ego overload and nip it in the bud.

1. Beware monologue mode. Your voice gets louder, you start looking into space instead of at your partner, and you pay no attention to their conversational cues. Are you really having a conversation or do you just like the sound of your own voice? True conversation is not about talking - it's about listening, learning and observing. Try this trick: in your next chat, be conscious of whether you are actually focusing your energy on the person's words, or if you're using their talk time to plan what you're going to say next.

2. Do you really need to talk about the time you got stung by a scorpion for the tenth time? Just because one person in this room hasn’t heard the story yet, doesn’t mean it’s really important to share. Before you open your mouth for a thoughtless repetition, ask yourself: “Is it necessary that I share this? What am I getting out of this? Why am I so insistent?” Simply stopping to check your motive can change the way you communicate and relate for the better. You'll feel more at peace, I promise.

3. Do you want to be right or do you want to be at peace? Sometimes it’s okay to back down in order to keep the peace. That doesn’t mean you’ve changed your stance or opinion, but that you’ve given up trying to shove it into someone's else's brain. Here's the truth: you cannot control what other people think. Period. They will think what they want to think - and often, they'll be wrong. You can't let it get to you. Of course, no one feels good being a doormat, but that's not what this is about. If you feel your boundaries or principles are being violated, speak up. But if it's the emotional trigger you feel being pulled, consider backing off. You'll be a bigger person for it.

4. Give up the illusion that you did it alone. When you accomplish something, remember that you didn’t get there by yourself. Your ego will make you think that you’re top dog, worthy of all praise and adulation, but the truth is, it took everyone in your life, your support team, to get you where you are today. Acknowledge them; be humble in your pride. It's the difference between being assertive and being self-aggrandizing.

5. Being defensive. What are you defending anyway? Your terrified, fragile ego. What would happen if you explored an opposing view? I mean, really, it wouldn’t kill you and it just might make you smarter. I like to assume that others respect and love me until proven otherwise. When you interact with others from this assumption, you'd be surprised how often things that used to rile you now seem interesting or helpful. Withholding a reaction doesn't mean you're agreeing - it just means you're secure in yourself.

6. Stop interrupting and listen! You don’t always have to tell us what you think. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is listen and observe. Remember: those who say, don’t know. And those who know, don’t say.

7. Admit you’re wrong when you really are. There’s nothing worse than watching someone dig themselves deeper into a hole when they could simply apologize and be done with it. Think George W. Bush. (I couldn't resist!)

If you enjoyed this post, don't miss 25 Ways to Be the Change.

Image: Meg Elizabeth

Sara’s shameless plug: Hi, it’s your editor. De-lurk, dear reader, and leave this fabulous writer a comment. (We love chatting.) You can also share this post with friends – just click your favorite social bookmark listed below. New reader? Be sure to sign up for the weekly newsletter to win free eco goodies! You can also subscribe to any RSS feed your heart desires.

I have to admit, there's something sickeningly fun about flying off the handle. But the raised blood pressure and wake of problems that can result are clearly not doing you - or anyone around you - any good. Chronic anger is like psychic pollution. It ruins everybody's mood. Here's how to clean up your act.

When anger strikes, move a mountain. Run up a hill, swim laps, find a punching bag, do anything physically exerting to help get that tension out of your body.

If you can’t escape, breathe. That’s it, just breathe. Now take another breath. Ok, another one. Breathe in slowly through your nose, noticing the breath moving into your body, and slowly and fully breathe out. Feel better? (Another trick to quickly relieve tension: when you're sitting at your desk, reach your hands up to the ceiling  and gently weave back and forth to loosen your spine.)

Attempting to control anger is futile if you aren't addressing the root problem. We get feelings for a reason - they need to come out! If you’ve been repressing anger, make a private space and then let yourself feel it. Relive the situation and feel the rage. Scream, cry, punch your pillow (but not the wall!) and do whatever you need to safely release the emotion so you can then constructively analyze the situation. It's fine to "save up" your anger for a time when you can healthily expel it; you don't want to rage in the moment, when you might say or do something you'll later regret. But don't squash your anger. That's a recipe for depression.

 Be empowered. Once you’ve calmed down (this may take hours, even days!) and can express yourself rationally, talk to the person who ticked you off. You might not get the response you were hoping for; what’s important is that you did your part. Even if you are nervous or doubting yourself, say what you need to say as best you can. This will also help you learn when to walk away before getting angry again.

 If you’re angry about something in the world or your lifestyle (like being stuck in traffic for 2 hours a day), use your anger as an impetus to change. This powerful energy can fuel the fire of positive action. I actually believe anger is healthy, if used appropriately. When we feel anger it's a powerful signal to change something that feels wrong. Whether the "wrong" is the situation or some inaccurate script you've trained your ego to believe and live by, anger means it's time to reconsider.

 Acknowledge that sometimes you feed yourself with your anger. Bringing up that old grudge gives you a certain “I’m right, you’re wrong” ego satisfaction. But look a little closer: does holding that grudge really make you happy? This can actually become a toxic habit where you're always looking for the next thing to fume about. It's like a dog licking a wound and making it worse. You're better served by focusing on positive change than listening to runaway mind chatter. If you feel "stuck" on the anger cycle, you may need to consider if low self-esteem is the real problem. Find positive ways to improve your feelings of worth so that you are less inclined to feel the need to feed your ego with angry thoughts.

 Forgive, without necessarily forgetting. You don’t have to condone someone’s actions, but when you forgive them (acknowledging that we’re all human beings who have faults and make mistakes), you release something inside yourself too. Holding a grudge takes up your precious energy, while forgiving opens you up to experience bigger and better things. Often we don't like to forgive because it feels like we're letting the person get away with what they did wrong. But holding on to the memory emotionally means you're constantly reliving the nonexistent past in your very real present - and if that isn't letting the offending person win, I don't know what is.

Still steamed? Recommended reading:

Urban Monk
Think Simple Now
Mayo Clinic
Pick the Brain
Zen Habits

Image: silver.and.gold

- with additional reporting by Sara Ost

Blonde or not, it's Goddesses who have more fun. Speaking of Green Goddesses, what kind are you?

Power Goddess: Woman, you get things done! Strategic and well organized, you are the Queen of your domain. Multi-tasking without a single hair out of place, you make running an empire look easy.

Earth Mama: Proud to be crunchy, you’re happiest when outside and barefoot. You whistle to the birds, know the plants and have a deep, inner understanding of Mother Earth and what living with Her is all about.

Yin Lady: Sweet and gentle, nurturing and beautiful, your presence brings joy in the same way as a blossoming flower, emanating its sweet perfume. You remind us to enjoy the moment in all its dazzling, poetic splendor.

Warrior Princess: You stand up for what you believe in, fight for your rights, and aren’t afraid of anything. You speak the truth when it has to be said, even if it hurts. Tyrants cower at your feet. You go, girl!



Image: Carolyn Coles

How controlling are you?

There's a problem with the word "control". It's recently gone bad. When we say controlling people, what we really mean is those who meddle in the affairs of others, just a few steps behind that most undesirable of social phenomena, the control freak. And controlled people? Aloof and uptight. It's a bad word from any angle.

This is muddled and wrong.

Have a read of these 7 ways of eliminating emotional clutter, over at Dumb Little Man. Wise words, you'll agree. And what's the common factor in every suggestion? It's control. Meditation. Organizing thoughts. Conserving energy. Prioritizing. Eating right. Careful, thoughtful, controlled behavior.

An eco-friendly lifestyle is also about control. You're making principled choices about the things you believe in - sorting through the deluge of opportunities called Modern Life for the things that will make a difference. Steering towards a greener You.

Some might yawn. When you've got everything planned out, where's the spontaneity and room to relax? The answer is it's anywhere you want it to be. If you're working to a plan, and it's your plan, you can change it anytime you wish. And relaxation? What's more relaxing than knowing you've taken care of everything important for the moment?

That's why I write lists and notes and scribble over calendars. (I even have a list of my lists). Control freak? Maybe. But I don't care.

Because I have a plan.

Image: rick

Eco-anxiety: it’s a new term that’s being used to describe people’s nervousness about global warming or secret guilt about not taking canvas bags to the grocery store. Maybe you drive a gas-guzzler and feel ashamed about it. You can go to therapy for it; you can read about it; you can even take a quiz to diagnose yourself!

Allllll right, my fellow introspects: let’s splash ourselves with a big bucket of reality before worry runs away with the show. The fact is that we don’t all have the resources to make all the conscious, green changes we wish we could all at once. Feeling guilty about the changes you haven’t made yet doesn’t do you - or anyone else - any good. Rather than reacting with worry, focus on acting with positive steps. The most important thing is to educate yourself and then do the best you can, day by day. Making choices in tune with the needs of the planet is supposed to be satisfying, not scary.

Start simply and close to home. For example, replace your household cleaners with green products one by one. Eat a vegetarian meal instead of meat a few days a week. There’s no need to go on a huge green shopping spree, because ultra-consumerism is one of the things we’re trying to avoid here!

Just keep doing whatever you know is right, one step at a time, and leave the guilt aside. We’re getting greener day by day, and that means we don't need to be ruled by consumption any more - whether that's us consuming things or worries consuming us.

Image: p0psicle

My first diary had a red cloth cover and a tiny lock and key. I’d write in it everyday about what was important to me at the time, like “Today I wore my new blue shorts with that shirt I got at the mall. I have a crush on Jeremy. He is so cute!”

These days, I still think about clothes and men - don't we all? But I also create art and poetry that’s not so easy to express in everyday conversation. My journal is a place to privately explore the personal mysteries of my own womanhood.

Journaling is therapeutic - a great way to process difficult emotions. A journal can also serve as a scrapbook, and I like using unlined books so I can paste in photos, dried flowers and other tidbits of my life that I want to remember. I’ll often pull out my watercolors and add a little art to the mix, to express in colors what words sometimes can’t. We've blogged about many wonderful eco-journals here:

Elephant dung paper
Nantaka Joy
Traveler's creative tool kit
Making your own notebook

By the way, one of my favorite online journaling blogs is Elizabeth Perry’s Woolgathering. "Looking, thinking, drawing, being" proclaims the tagline. A few images, a few words, and her thoughts become alive.

Ever since Abraham, we Jews aren't supposed to keep false idols. But I don't think the patriarch would mind my budding Buddha collection. I  worship them the way we designers adore beautiful images that bring us peace and serenity.

According to Jeff Greenwald, who wrote the forward for the marvelous little photography book, If You Find the Buddha (Chronicle Books), Buddha himself forbade any likeness of him and for half a millennium his wishes were honored. Instead, symbols like the lotus, the eight spoke wheel and the Bodhi tree evoked the directive to stay present with our entire being. But Buddha is ubiquitous in these difficult times, from a pendant around the neck of a golfer to patterns on a red cotton baby kimono to the dashboard of a vehicle. Buddha is especially needed on the dashboard of a vehicle!

I put my miniature Buddha figurines on a coral motif Limoges tray in my bedroom. I enjoy hunting for him while shopping for my clients, and my daughters also enjoy the pursuit. In fact, we used small glass ones from the wonderful Alaya boutique in San Francisco as party favors for Sydney's 10th birthday party, which had a spiritual theme. Sadly, younger sister Lauren placed hers in her fish tank and it may have been the culprit in the untimely death of the otherwise healthy goldfish, Timothy. Then, again, it could have been the water. Either way, the green glass Shakyamuni now has a spot on a ledge in the kitchen as a reminder of how precarious life can be, especially for the goldfish.

I've also located treasures Big Happy Buddha, including a sweet lavender Kuan Yin on a lotus (about $17) and a larger statue for a meditative spot in the garden. I suppose there is no wrong place for Buddha, except perhaps the bathroom. Recently, a Buddhist henna artist was at my house to do some custom art and saw a Warhol-esque silkscreen of Shakyamumi above the tub in the master bath. She pointed out that it was akin to her hanging a Star of David in her bathroom. I got the hint and relocated the art to perhaps thee most sacred spot in my home: my dressing room.

One girl's closet is another girl's temple.

Image: Zevotron