“When you watch the commercials you can tell they’re made of cheap stuff,” says my astute oldest daughter about the fleece blanket sensation known as the Snuggieâ„¢. “The people wearing them are just so cheesy, like the man in the leopard one who says he’s so glad he found a fun designer print that suits his personality.”

Snuggie consumers proudly wear the Made-in-China label on their sleeves, not considering the synthetic polyester fabric they’re breathing in all the while they’re adjusting their thermostats in the thin, robe-like throws. I find they leave me as cold as those stinky, plastic sealed airline blankets gifted to us on flights.

I’m not the only one with a chilly view of the blankets. There’s the YouTube ad that parodies by Snuggieâ„¢ haters, such as one done in the mockumentary format of The Office in which an employer forces her people to wear the wraps at work, despite their protests. A piece in Time shares one young man’s review: “It’s a bathrobe. That is really long. That you wear backwards.”

So far, five million and counting have bought into the ads depicting gray-haired ladies knitting on the sofa, moms reading on the sofa, great aunts chatting away on the phone on the sofa. One thing is clear: Folks just don’t get off that sofa when they’re folded into a Snuggie. Call it a straight jacket for polluted planet!

Allstar Products Group, Inc., the maker of the blanket, set up a Facebook Fan page and attracted 5,000 users in addition to an official online fan club site. That’s a lot of fleece.

Among the enthusiastic takers is my 10-year-old daughter, who went behind her green-leaning parents to ask a relative to buy her one for her birthday in the original royal blue.

She’s a big infomercial hound, my youngest, often repeating lines from the ads when we are out buying necessities for the house. “Mom, you should get the Ped Egg because it’s like having a professional spa treatment right in your own home,” she advises.

She had a fever over the weekend and taking away that Snuggie was harder than wrestling a cheese stick away from my pug. Pugs have little teeth, but they’ll take you down over cheese, and so will Lauren over a cheesy blanket.

“My friend Simon had one and I thought it would be warm for camp because I sleep right near the window,” says my daughter. “I also like it when I’m sick cause it makes me feel all snuggie.”

We don’t buy polyester bedding and we don’t want our kid dragging around a toxic security blanket. Yet burning it could create a micro Valdez. Which begs the question, how do you safely dispose of Mr. Snuggieâ„¢?

Because of the questionable chemicals in the fiber, I find it ironic how American Allstar Group’s publicity machine has tied in “the country’s favorite blanket with sleeves” with one of the country’s most pernicious diseases – breast cancer.

In May, they introduced the limited edition pink blanket for breast cancer. The company says it will donate $50,000 to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation on behalf of the product.

I suppose the irony is that many of the questions posed to researchers at Cancer.Org relate to the link between toxins in textiles and breast cancer. One reader was wondering about her mother who had he worked at a chain of stores in which she cut cloth materials containing the kind of junk that is used to produce my daughter’s favorite throw.

If the Snuggie is such a mega hit and has made tons of dough for Allstar, why hasn’t an organic textile company made their own version of a healthy fleece blanket with sleeves?

“The Snuggie is a safe product, as it is approved and certified by all relevant industry standards,” I’m told by Anne Flynn, Director of Marketing at Allstar. “Snuggie is currently in the process of evaluating other materials, including natural, eco-friendly options, to meet consumer needs.”

Until we meet the eco Snuggie, the only newly unveiled additions introduced for the coming winter are styles for kids, dogs, a more plush version of the current design, and black and purple tie-dye fashions for the holidays.

I did find a few greener options, such as a Bear Adventure Warm Me Up made of recycled synthetics from Blankets and More (being introduced November 1st), and a cozy kimono for the preemie baby. There’s also the 85% recycled materials Peekaru, shown above (top left), for mom and baby.

Otherwise, the market is wide open for a healthier blanket with sleeves. My friends at Chia better get right on it!

This is the latest installment in Luanne’s column, Life in the Green Lane.

Images: Bread and Sham, All Left Turns, SFGate, MomLogic, Snuggieâ„¢ Fan Club

Sit on the grass; look out at the trees; wake up in the field; float on the water.

These four frolics in nature are woven into the fabric of the vintage French furniture reclaimed by Chair Couture, a delightful contemporary source that seeks to make stuffy, highbrow seating more down to earth.

In salvaging original French antiques for her quirky collection, owner Margaret Elman carefully selects fabrics that fits the mode. She says the recycled polyester or organic cotton used is derived from photographs of nature.

It’s all designed to bring the outdoors inside with splashy textiles in vivid shades that really grow on you.

I remember when a friend first spied the ocean fabric and flipped, telling me it was like nothing she had seen before. She was able to locate the fabric by the yard.

If you purchase one of the reconfigured antiques, such as the Constance chaise covered in a water print (above), the price might hit you like a wave. It’s $15,000. The David bergère chair covered in grassy cloth (at top) is $7,000 and the 1930s carved bed in the dandelion print(below)  is $13,000.

The price tags might be out of reach, but if you have the means, these pieces emerge as works of art that make a huge statement.

“Can you do a diatribe on dry-clean-only labels?” asked my editor friend, Tam, citing the numerous times she threw caution to the wind and hand washed a garment despite the dry-clean-only instructions.

Yes, Tam, we can do that. We at EcoSalon are here to please the frugal green crowd looking for ways to avoid high cleaning costs, as well as the toxic detergents regularly used by conventional cleaning companies.

For some answers, I turned to Karl Huie of Eco Dry Cleaners in the San Francisco Bay Area which goes by the motto: “We are not business people capitalizing on the green movement, we are an established dry cleaner changing an industry.” Huie won the 2009 Francine Levien Activist award, which recognized him for taking a leadership role in promoting the health of the community.

Huie’s parents first opened a cleaners in 1969 which he and other family members converted into an eco company in 2007 with stores in the Pacific Heights neighborhood of the city and across the Bay in Sausalito, Calif. (Marin’s first and only certified green cleaners). The Pacific Heights Cleaners is seen as a demonstration site for a statewide program.

They are what’s considered a wet cleaners, which means they use a water-based solution made of natural soaps and conditioners; and Carbon Dioxide (CO2) Cleaning, which uses compressed liquid CO2 with detergents.

In other words, they really know how to handle wet clothes, which according to Huie, is the criteria for cleaning your own garments without professional help.

Luanne: Which fabrics are safest for DIY cleaning at home?

Karl: I think polyester and nylon are probably the safest, including recycled polyester from PET bottles, because the plastic in it will hold everything together. Bamboo is an organic product that cleans very nicely and is easily accessible if handled correctly, but you have to be careful not to put too much agitation to the rayon because that will cause it to break or get fuzzy.

Luanne: What about cotton fabrics? You would think you could clean those yourself.

Karl: The risk is shrinkage. That can happen with leather, too, when people try to clean it themselves. The other day a customer brought in a leather jacket they shrunk wanting to know if I could stretch it back out. I also get customers bringing in cotton clothes with stains they tried to remove. They bring them in still wet in plastic bags. You have to have some experience with material and know how to handle it when it is wet.

Luanne: I’m always surprised when I hear friends wash their own sweaters. I’m always afraid the texture will get ruined.

Karl: Generally, silks and cashmeres are not easy to handle. It doesn’t so much have to do with getting them wet but the pH balance of the water and the detergent you use. The wrong balance can alter and shrink the wool and strip off oils  that can cause the texture to change.

Luanne: I never go near any garments with hand beading or special stones but people question why they can’t be hand washed with care. What’s the best thing to do if you aren’t sure?

Karl: Any time not sure how to handle something it is best go get advice from a pro. If you are a regular customer of mine I’m happy to tell you how to take care of it. All the time people bring in items for me to fix after the damage is done.

For some great tips on hand washing or dealing with stains, such as salad dressing spills or chocolate messes, you can go to Karl’s blog, Your Green Dry Cleaner. On the site is a section about cleaning items yourself.

Karl advises:

“Just because something is washable doesn’t mean that’s the best way to handle it. If you’ve got good quality jeans, sweaters, linens, bedding, etc. you want to protect them. Dry cleaning your fine things extends their longevity, keeps color from fading and prevents shrinkage. Plus you get a professional’s skills in stain removal. Talk to your dry cleaner to determine the best way to protect and preserve all your fine things.”

Image: sfllaw