What the world needs now is love letters, sweet love letters.

Before heart emoticons, relationship status updates, and sexting, there was a simple way to express love: the handwritten note. It sounds dated and antiquated now, which is probably a sign that the world desperately needs to bring it back.

Enter, The World Needs More Love Letters project, a worldwide community of “love letter writers” who compose and leave behind anonymous handwritten love notes in places where people who need them may find them. Started by Hannah Brencher, the project has brought more than 1,600 love letters into the world in the four months it’s been in existence.

Brencher is quick to clarify that the intention of the More Love Letters project isn’t to bolster profits for the U.S. Postal Service (though romantic notes are certainly a sexier use of the USPS than paying bills). Instead, it’s to spread love in a world devoid of it, and bring magic to people where they least expect to find it.

The More Love Letters project is as much about loving yourself as it is about loving others. Brencher’s latest initiative asks letter writers to turn their attention and affection inward. Through the entire month of January, writers are encouraged to jot down their hopes and goals for the new year on their very best stationery, and send those letters to the More Love Letters Time Capsule in a self-addressed stamped envelope. In 2013, the time capsule will be opened, and the letters returned to their authors.

“Our plan is to hold these love letters all year long,” Brencher writes on her blog. ”Compile them all into a big ol’ box labeled: DO NOT OPEN UNTIL JANUARY 1, 2013. And, in 365 days from now, we are going to mail those love letters back to you. Sealed and ready to be opened by the very same person who wrote that letter back in 2012, though maybe you’ll be changed. Maybe you’ll see life differently.”

To learn more and get involved, visit the More Love Letters project online.

Image: Sayed Mostafa Zamani

ColumnEcoSalon Columnist Abigail Wick interviews European ex-pats about the game they bring to the table.

You know you have one. That go-to friend – maybe the gay friend living in the apartment next door or your wild and crazy partner-in-crime from your days at university who always lends a willing ear when you’re afflicted with romantic woes. For whatever reason, I always tend to be that friend, and my status as a de facto relationship counselor makes my professional work as love and sex columnist seem like a foregone conclusion.

People don’t come to me because I’m especially enlightened, but because I’m an invariably passionate listener who is unafraid of dispensing the sometimes-unwelcome truth:  ‘Get over your petty jealousy;’ ‘Stop fixating your desire on a man who doesn’t return the sentiment;’ ‘He is, in actuality, an ugly and unsuccessful embarrassment, and it’s really time to refocus your attention on a better mate.’

Such advice might, in the short term, upset my friends, but the fact of the matter is that they come to me because I am willing to articulate what, in their heart-of-hearts, they already know.

Lately, I’ve been noticing that romantic partnerships are all too often plagued by negative, defeatist insecurities (‘Why aren’t I good enough?’ ‘Why doesn’t he give me more?’). By directing our attention towards perceived lack, we miss out on the opportunity to highlight what we have. This week, I decided to help set the record straight, interviewing six European ex-pats, and asking them to reflect on their best selves:  What do you bring to a romantic relationship that enriches and enhances the life of your significant other?

Sarah, Marketing, Germany

“I am adventurous and experimental, with no day being like the next. I am also incredibly trustworthy and loyal. This combination of wildness and sensitivity allows me to bring a significant other maximal joy, vibrant color, and positivity, whatever the situation.”

Norberto, Internet Technology, Portugal

“I like to provide stability and commonsense. I enjoy impetuousness in a partner, and like to bring a calm balance to the relationship. I enjoy companionship and the integration of our friends – it’s nice to share common social ties with one another.”

Francys, Tourism, Brazil

“I am understanding and opening, and deeply, sincerely care about the others well-being. I want to encourage my partner’s growth pursuit of his personal goals. I am also incredibly passionate, and throw my whole heart into a relationship, taking the time and attention to do it right.”

Alina, Photography, Ukraine

“I bring spontaneity, unexpected surprises, and even a bit of craziness into a relationship. Men who fall for me like my ability to be a leader and willingness to exercise my strength. I am also a good, cool friend. We can hang out and drink beers together, creating compatibility as friends as well as lovers.”

Andre, Sports Management, Germany

“I bring trust. She can always be sure that I am giving my word. Without this important base, the relationship would not work. She can go out and enjoy herself, and there is never any fear or lack of trust. I believe in her, and she believes in me, and we offer one another this truth.”

Elena, Art History, Russia

“I create harmony and support him in any situation. I am trustworthy, in all things, sharing with him my warmth and my heart. I also help make our home an inviting and comfortable space for our friends, with a soulful atmosphere that allows us to share meaningful time with a group of loved ones.”

Sex By Numbers is an ongoing look into the emotional and sexual lives of the modern day woman. Follow Abigail Wick weekly here for insight and inspiration as she explores the “sex” of women and the terrain they must travel.

ColumnHow do you maintain passion and pleasure in a romantic partnership, while at the same time navigating the ins and outs of parenting?

As a weekly relationships columnist, I regularly receive love inquiries that range from the philosophical to the salacious. This week, my friend Rachel sent an intriguing letter, asking me to ruminate on baby-making and romance: “Is it possible to maintain passion and pleasure, while at the same time parenting with a long-term  partner?”

Rachel’s question prompted me to do some detective work, investigating the nature of sex, reproduction, and its manifold meanings. From mating monkeys to full-time daddies, I’ve gathered eight sociological and biological facts to help shed some light on the confounding roles of intimacy, breeding, and the creation of culture.

1. Historically, coupledom has been an economic and societal compact; the partner’s personal needs, such as emotional well-being, sexual satisfaction, and intellectual stimulation, have long come second place. In days of yore, the survival of the marriage contract trumped an individual’s quality of life. In some ways, a miserable marriage was a good marriage, so long as it stayed intact. Modern relationships couldn’t be more different – people seek partners who challenge and excite them and they’re searching for romance that’s mutually enriching.

2. Sexless marriage, anyone? On average, married women and men who are more than 30-years-old have sex only 58 times per year. That’s about a shag a week. For the under-30 set, the number doubles, coming in at 111 times a year. For some spouses, it’s much harder, with estimates pegging 15% of married couples as sexless for as much as one year.

3. In all the animal kingdom, seahorses are the only genus in which the male gets pregnant – the female injects eggs into her lover’s pouch, and it’s here where the eggs are fertilized and nurtured until delivery. In no small feat, the male can deliver up to 1,000 babies in one go. Seahorses also happen to be traditional romantics, with many species faithful to their filly for life, (not even a tank full of available seahorse singles will tempt a loyal pair). When they mate, the couple link tails; for the duration of their love-making, the seahorses are inseparable, engaging in a whirling dervish dance amongst the sea grass and coral reefs.

4. In the past few years, the tides have turned in the U.S. For the first time ever, married couples comprise less than half of all American households. Belonging to a loving, supportive relationship is now widely regarded as healthier than being in a bleak, agonizing marriage. In the modern, cosmopolitan consciousness, love, commitment, and companionship carry more weight than a legal document. The real fun lies in the adventure.

5. We humans aren’t all that special, sharing between 95-99% functional DNA with our close cousin the Bonobo. If you think people can be merciless when it comes to harnessing sex as a tool for manipulation, why don’t you go visit your evolutionary kin for the day? For Bonobos, sexual contact is used for everything from same-sex conflict-resolution to calming infants. They have sex to release tension, sex to leaven antagonism, and sex to have fun and socialize. A promiscuous bunch, Bonobos have multiple partners, and because the women are sleeping around, the males aren’t sure which children belong to them. Obscure paternity goes a long way toward the prevention of infanticide. Doesn’t it all smack of a Shakespearean tragedy?

6. Men who are dominant in work and relationships have trouble accurately “reading” emotions when looking at pictures of people’s faces. In short, powerful men can have trouble measuring and responding to the needs of others. Studies of group behavior indicate that people tend to choose the most outspoken, arrogant individual as the leader of a group. And, once at the top, the man’s experience of dominance only reinforces his self-centeredness.

7. In Sweden, 85% of the fathers take paternal leave from their jobs and if they don’t, they face scrutiny from their friends and colleagues. Could the Swedish model signal an emergent “new masculinity?” Since the paternity-leave policy was implemented, divorce and separation rates have dropped; it’s possible that when men engage in the day-to-day requirements of parenting, they understand better the challenges of being at home with a child. The idea supporting this Swedish policy is that society mirrors the family – in order to achieve equality in society, equality must first be achieved in the home.

8. Why humans make babies isn’t mysterious. We do so because evolution and biology trigger sexual desire, sexual desire results in children and children result in the perpetuation of our species. But when considering the lived experience of actual individuals, baby-making is anathema to our quality of life. A host of academic papers demonstrate that parents are usually less happy than their childless peers; it turns out that raising children, across the board, reduces marital satisfaction. In Nobel Prize-winning economist Daniel Kahneman’s oft-cited study of working women, he found that childcare ranked almost last in pleasurability out of 19 activities. These women preferred many things to childcare, including exercising, shopping, and housework.

Images: Stacey Hedman Photography, cscott2006, Tela Chhe, Auswandern Malaysia, tab2_dawa, emilio labrador, chapmankj75, pulguita, mikebaird, the Italian voice

In light of the recent survey finding many of us secure a better night’s sleep in separate cocoons, it might pay to return to the days of twins. You know, lie back and watch a show, roll over for fun, head home to your crib for a snooze so you can get up for work. Just like dating!

Think of the fun of sneaking into the resting chamber of your better half for a “hello stranger” kinda session, while saving all kinds of bucks on the bedding ’cause twin sets are so much cheaper than kings.

Many hotels in Europe feature twins with headboards pushed together to form one chic unit, dressing them in matching finery. I’ve slept best in a twin since summer camp and think in some ways, we were meant to have a compact cot with a narrow margin to feel safe and secure as we garner our much needed zzz’s.

So what are the most stylish ways to produce twins in your own home? Probably the best source for a cool pair is vintage. If you’re more contemporary, you can always customize upholstered headboards or beds with eco fabrics. But that’s another story!

Subtle Vintage Pairings

ebay is undoubtedly the wealthiest source for matching twins, such as these woven Scandinavian beauties from Antique Bedrooms with tapered, capped legs. $1500.

I’m a total sucker for caned furniture, and in fact picked up a set of beds for my daughters at auction when they were small. These precious French guys were harvested by French Finds.

Man, you could have fun with these circa 1970s rattan vintage twin headboards with a decorative diamond insert. Order good green mattresses on frames sans the chemicals and geometric organic bedding. From Objects in the Loft at 1st Dibs.

Pair of curvaceous, French Oak Louis twins, $990 at Abba Antiques.

Main Image: Posh Living

Image one: Rhymehatcher

Image Two: Coco+Kelley

Romance isn’t just a concept worn thin by fairy tales and Hollywood movies that leave women like me wondering “where’s my knight in shining armor?” It’s an attitude easily accessible from within each and every one of us. And it’s a good thing.

Since summer 2008 we’ve seen ruffles and silky see-through pieces on the runways. The good news is flirty and feminine will continue into spring with an emphasis on folksy. Think gypsies and draping, soft fabrics – think romance.

The Silk Chiffon Raphael Blouse from CIEL is a great place to start. It’s made of 100% organic silk, with ruffled sleeves and more ruffles across the chest. Available in lilac in US sizes 4, 6, 8 and 10, you can find it at Fashion-Conscience for $172 (£115).

Wear it and show your romantic side. ‘Tis the season.