ColumnNovel food combinations aren’t just silly, they’re missing the point.

“I’ll buy you a cupcake. They have red velvet ones.”

I glared at my friend, Dave. “You know how I feel about cupcakes. Just get me an iced coffee, black.”

In recent months, I’ve developed a bit of a vendetta against cupcakes. “What could one have against a cute little baked good?” you might ask. A lot. And now I have another reason to cringe: cupcake vodka. The cupcake trend is now the cupcake hangover.

Whatever happened to simplicity? In today’s food fusion scene, experimentation and authenticity are out, confusion and crazy are in.

And it’s not just cupcake vodka. Food combos gone awry can be found everywhere, seducing us with complex creations and taking our focus from what’s actually in the food we’re eating to the novelty of the relationship noted on the label.

Take bacon chocolate, for example.

Dark chocolate can be sublime. Dark chocolate with a hint of salt is even better. But combine our meat du jour with a timeless classic and the results border on ridiculous. Or, at $7.50, certainly ambitious.

In an effort to push the culinary envelope, we find ourselves surrounded by food creations like these that aim to please experimental palettes, but destroy the essence of the ingredients in the process. There’s plenty of sustainable, locally cured bacon out there for the meat lover, and fair trade, organic options abound for chocolate. But the two together? Over the top. Bacon and booze is even worse. If you thought bacon vodka was bad, take a moment to contemplate bacon and tequila. (The spring break of nightmares.)

There’s a never-ending list of things that we come across at the grocery store that simply shouldn’t exist: bubblegum flavored pudding, cotton candy yogurt, turkey and gravy soda. You get the idea. Why can’t we keep our ingredients to themselves? These edible misfits aren’t food, they’re “food products,” and marketers are getting good at selling them. They sound and look novel so that they sell, but they’re drawing attention away from real fare worth celebrating.

Mark Bittman, New York Times food columnist has said, “Few people get fat eating real food.”

(Sure, chocolate and vodka aren’t cornerstones of the food pyramid, but individually, they’re at least made from whole ingredients.)

I think about the colorful cupcake vodka label, inspiring fluffy visions of Candyland. I had a comparatively different vision last week when I was in Boulder, Colorado and was served a drink made with locally distilled vodka made with biodynamic grapes. Clean and simple label, with a description of the vineyard where it came from right next to the bar. No fusion. No confusion.

Some fusions are so incredible they’re downright heady: think truffles and mac ‘n cheese. Or Indian Chinese cuisine. And we don’t need to deny ourselves the fun stuff, by any means. No one wants to say no to cocktails, chocolate and cake, but it’s just as important to think about what goes into them as it is to think about where our kale and broccoli come from.

Maybe that’s why I turn up my nose at cupcakes. It’s not what they are, it’s what they represent: an obsession with glorifying food that we shouldn’t be consuming in the first place.

Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s weekly column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground, discovering what’s new and different in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to the culinary avant garde.

Images: Cupcake Vodka, Allie Bombach

Here’s a bit of melody and merriness to soak in.

First, set the tone with this tune. Play this song and relish the nostalgic classic masked in fresh whimsy. Later you can absorb the entire list of melodies from this play list (endless gratitude to Jason Hudson!).

Second, get a drink of festive spirits. Peppermint candy canes make a great last minute infused vodka:

Peppermint Infused Vodka

Add six peppermint candy canes to one pint of vodka.

Let stand at least three hours (the longer, the better).

Enjoy this colorful liquid on the rocks or with hot chocolate.

Third, take pleasure in the simple winter wonderland of these lovely vignettes of calm texture from Walther & Co.

And finally, if you still need a little dose ‘day of’ inspiration, here are 485 pages of red and white festive bliss from What Katie Ate (click here for an introduction to What Katie Ate). Or you can peruse the special Holiday Issue of Lonny (as you know, we love Lonny).

These gifts are for the spaces we live in and the kitchens we cook in. From glass bottles that hold your water to gourmet chocolates that tease your palate, we have gathered some of the best holiday gifts for your gifting pleasure. Give someone a silhouette to dangle on the tree, an ancient tray of cellulose, a bottle of homemade vodka, a pair of antlers (calm down, they’re resin), talons to open their spirits, or a bottle of water (well, a glass bottle to hold tap water).

Clockwise from top left:

1. Floating Feather Ornaments – Jayson Home & Garden, $10
2. Petrified Wood Tray – Jayson Home & Garden, $65 – 148
3. Homemade Fig & Vanilla Infused Vodka Recipe – Sweet Paul Magazine (Holiday Issue)
4. Resin Antlers – Haus Interior, $38.50
5. Claw Bottle Opener – Jayson Home & Garden, $24
6. Tap Water Bottle – Reform School Rules, $14

Delight someone with this ceramic butter dish or give your gracious hostess a tea towel to die for. How about giving your favorite foodie a handmade ceramic dish to hold artisan salts? Or give your dinner guests a surprise at the bottom of their coffee.

7. Banded Butter Dish – Pigeon Toe Ceramics, $52
8. Feather Kitchen Linen (Oatmeal) – Herriott Grace, $26
9. Folded Salt & Pepper Cellars – Pigeon Toe Ceramics, $38
10. Hidden Animal Teacups (Fox) – imm Living, $15

And for dessert, let some of this gourmet chocolate melt in your mouth (or give it to someone else to savor).

11. Orange Napolitains – Claudio Corallo, $22
12. Organic Peanut Butter Bonbons – Vosges Haut-Chocolat, $27
13. Peppermint Bark Box – Askinosie Chocolate, $39

Click here to devour all of our 2010 Gift Guides.

You care deeply about your carbon footprint, your sanity, your cocktails. So when you saddle up to the bar at your favorite watering hole for that much needed Friday libation, why settle for anything less than organic spirits and liquors?

The new bottles on the block are making inroads into bars and eateries according to trend watchers like The Chic Ecologist. Stirred or shaken, it is easy to bond with the benefits, from low-glycemic sugar substitutes, to added fiber and protein to decreased hangover symptoms. Pick your poison – or rather – lack there of it – by shopping some of the cleaner booze boasting pesticide and dye free purity. Many of the brand creators make it a double by not only offering healthier ingredients but also doing their part for good causes.

Coming from a family of vodka enthusiasts, I was intrigued by the introduction of Square One founded by Marin County’s Allison Evanow. Taken in by the upscale hippie environ of her Northern California digs, she says she pondered the new-age, yet old question: “Why not put the ethos of the farmer’s market into a glass?”

Evanow left no stone unturned in the low impact alchemy: The mix called for pristine sprung water from the Teton mountains, organically certified North Dakota rye, and a process that requires single pass distillation to save on energy. The packaging also forgoes the ubiquitous frosted bottle for a distinct, square reusable bottle with a sustainable bamboo, easy-to-peel-off label. Meantime, the rye byproduct of the vodka making process packs a big fiber and protein wallop, allowing it to be sold as feed to an organic dairy farm. “We’re thrilled to be a vital link to the cradle-to cradle process of growing grain feeding cattle and creating the best martinis you’ve ever tried,” says the founder.

Other brands to wet your green whistle:

4 Copas Organic Tequilla

Described as the “king of tequilas” because of the maturity and flavor which appeals to scotch and cognac drinkers as well as tequila connoisseurs. In addition to the great blue agave sweetened with natural nectar, the hand-blown glass from local Jalisco artisans supports the work of Seaturtules.org. I’ll drink to that!

Juniper Green Organic Gin

The first organic dry London gin contains pure water, grains grown without chemical fertilizers and a combo of 100 percent organic botanical herbs rounded up from the best international sources.

Highland Harvest Organic Scotch Whisky

This scotch is distilled from Soil Association certified organic barley blended from the Highland and is an incredibly smooth whiskey – one that has matured in oak barrels for four years before being released. The blend, rather than single malt, melds the flavors of organic malt and grains for young yield with a superior taste.

Image: geishaboy500

Gourmet Magazine, an American classic, found a slump in ad sales spelled the recipe for disaster.

That’s why Conde Nast Publications is closing the oldest food magazine in the US along with Modern Bride, Elegant Bride, and the parent magazine Cookie, which I have to admit I’ve only glanced at in the doctor’s office waiting room.

While the bride magazines are used as sources to stimulate ideas for women planning their big events, Gourmet has long been the bible of American epicureans, fond of cutting out recipes for those summer salads and Thanksgiving pies. The highly respected journal, described as the “magazine of good living,” was launched in 1941 by Earle R. MacAusland, and included articles on wine and travel.

Recently, the magazine increased its coverage of healthy and organic fare, even dedicating a cocktail to actor-environmentalist Brad Pitt. It said it wasn’t just his pretty face, but the time he has devoted to the planet that inspired the refreshing cooler made with organic lime, organic cucumber, organic mint, and even Crop Organic cucumber vodka.

2 wedges of organic lime
2 thin slices fresh organic cucumber
Sprig of organic mint
2 oz (1/4 cup) Crop Organic cucumber vodka
3 to 4 oz seltzer

According to the Associated Press, Gourmet had a circulation of 980,000 last year, but despite its devoted audience of chefs and food lovers, its ad pages fell like a badly-timed souffle, down 50 percent in the second quarter from the year before, according to the Publishers Information Bureau. That’s considered one of the biggest declines ever for a popular title.

Magazines have been trying to brave the recession by experimenting with their pages, even introducing video adverts inside to lure computer screen conditioned readers, as with Entertainment Weekly. In terms of the fashion magazines, there are more eco sources developing on the web. It seems, that is where they will all end up.

Conde Nast spokeswoman Maurie Perl said some 180 employees of the four titles will be leaving the company with severance packages by the end of the week. Earlier in the year, the high-level publisher shut down Portfolio, a business journal, and Domino, a beloved shelter magazine.

It’s reported that in a staff memo, Conde Nast CEO Charles Townsend said the closures were required “to navigate the company through the economic downturn and to position us to take advantage of coming opportunities.”

Conde Nast, run by billionaire S.I. Newhouse Jr., also publishes Vogue, the New Yorker and Wired. The 19 remaining magazines owned by the company include Bon Appetit, which boasts a larger circulation than Gourmet at 1.4 million. Another foodie book, its ad pages drop isn’t much better at 40 percent.

Conde Nast promises Gourmet‘s brand will live on in books and TV programming and you will still see recipes on Epicurious.com.

Source: SFGate.com