The Real Problems With Your Generic Sexy Halloween Costume: #NowWhat

That sexy Halloween costume is bogus.

ColumnPeople should celebrate Halloween until they die. Watching scary movies is thrilling, baking spooky treats is a blast, and dressing up like your favorite character is incredibly fun. But there is one aspect of Halloween that even rubs the most steadfast horror and Hallows’ Eve junkies the wrong way: That thing is pre-packaged, generic “sexy” Halloween costumes.

Now, we’re not here to rain on your sexy Halloween parade. If you want to dress sexy, more power to you – let that sultry freak flag fly. But if there are two things we hate, it’s (1) waste, and (2) We despise it when society tells us what’s sexy (especially when many of those “sexy” designations are deeply problematic).

Pretty much every Halloween costume that resides in your local big box store is wasteful. We get that you could, theoretically, wear that sexy nurse Halloween costume every year if you really wanted to, but chances are, you won’t. Those Halloween costumes are made to be worn once or twice and then discarded. And even if you did decide to wear that sexy costume year after year, chances are it won’t last past year one. Pre-packaged costumes are cheap, yes, but that also means they are cheaply made. So, unless you want to sport a sexy costume with an extra hole in the butt or crotch region, we suggest looking elsewhere.

Generic sexy Halloween costumes also are incredibly one note–and most often, totally offensive. Sexy nurse and cop costumes only belittle the women who serve in those jobs. Sexy student costumes sexualize children. And sexy gypsy and “Native American princess” (yes, that’s a real costume name) costumes sexualize women of color and minorities. And while, sure, sexy bumblebee, cat, witch, and storybook character costumes are inoffensive, they are really, really, boring.

So, what should you do if you want to wear a sexy costume? Make your own.

I think we all can agree that everyone thinks differently about who (or what they’re wearing) is sexy. Embrace the thing you think is sexy, and be that. If you think being a feminist is sexy, dress up as your favorite riot grrrl. If you think having strong opinions is sexy, dress up like a protester. And if you think a certain character in a movie is sexy and fun, dress up as that person – just make sure you put a personal spin on it.

But for the love of god and all that is spooky – please forgo buying that sexy Halloween costume this year. We know you can DIY it better. So, go for it – we have faith in you.

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Image of sexy Halloween costume from Shutterstock

Abbie Stutzer

Writer, editor, and owner of Ginchy!, a freelance writing and editing company, and home funeral hub. Adores smart sex ed, sustainable ag, spooky history, women's health, feminism, horror, wine, and sci-fi.