You better not shout. You better not cry. You better not snake someone’s parking space at the mall cause they might be high. Santa Claus is coming to town! Yay!
At the cost of looting yet another candy coated jingle, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, but also the most stressful. And arguments can ensue over mundane nonsense because we are under pressure to buy what we cannot afford, entertain even though our nests are distressed and lacking luster, and are downing sugar by the barrel at every turn. Here are some of the common tussles we encounter during the holidays:
1. Sacrificial Office Workers
Scrooge is alive and well in America. Just ask many an employee who is being told by the boss to cut their needed vacation, work long hours and forgo the annual holiday party and bonus this year due to hard times. Bah Humbug. If only every boss could be Michael Scott of The Office fame!
2. Shopping Scuffles
They happen wherever there are hordes in a hurry – in a busy street bustling with humans toting many bags, a packed mall parking lot, the line at The Cheesecake Factory, on the road to get to the mall or vacation destination, or with your family over the right thing to buy Nana or teachers. “You got Miss D. a Starbuck’s card last year! It’s so stupid. Get her something better!”
3. Family Break Time Battles
You want to hang around the house and finally get things organized. He wants to drive up the coast and hike, and the kids want to spend all of your money on a “real vacation” that involves sun, water, mediocre food at high prices and cute members of the opposite sex. It’s hard to agree on the best way to spend time away from work at school because everyone has a different idea of how to savor events like New Year’s eve and down time.
4. Disappointment Over Gifts
Taking back lousy gifts is not as simple as it used to be with the exception of department stores like Nordstrom and Macy’s which aren’t as desperate for a sale as the smaller boutiques. You might have been expecting jewelry and he bought you rainboots – believing you would go mad over the way they resemble classic and edgy Frye Durango harness boots. Your kid wanted just about anything from the Apple store yet being the smart parent you are, you opted for flannel pajamas and slippers. Life isn’t fair, but it can be warm and fuzzy.
5. Coming “Home” for Christmas and Feeling 13 Again
Mom has done so much for you and the family, schlepping that 10-foot tree through the door on her back, slaving over the crockpot, shopping like a fiend to get those Uggs in just the right shade of metallic silver. But pleasing her can be a mixed bag. She doesn’t want you to see your old friends if it takes time away from seeing her. Dad doesn’t understand why you don’t pick up your shit at your age, or why you are loafing and watching television instead of helping him repaint the house. Your sister is jealous because you got a designer watch and she got a toaster and your brother’s wife can’t do wrong in your parents’ eyes while you are never on time for dinner and live with a guy who doesn’t make enough money. They all get huffy when you tell them to f— off. Ahh, yes. It’s good to be home.