Women with big boobs enjoy a lot of benefits, but there are myths to be set straight, too.
I feel a Dr. Seuss story coming on: Left Boob, Right Boob. Big Boobs! Little Boobs! Boobs, Boobs, Boobs!
How many different myths about women with big boobs are there to be perpetually and consistently misinformed about? Even in 2014 we still don’t understand female anatomy as well as we should, and no woman feels that more than a woman with big boobs.
Here are some of the biggest myths about big boobs. We’re setting the record straight.
1. They’re not real: The most obvious myth is that big boobs are usually unnatural. Guess again. The solid, jiggle-less gigantic boobs are the unnatural ones, but most of the big boobs out there are real.
2. Big boobs must mean we always want sex, right? Wrong. A woman’s sexuality is a result of many things, least of all her cup size.
3. We want our boobs to be the focus of sex: They’re fun and all, but they’re not a vagina annex.
4. We’re sluts: Blame bad porn for this one, but a woman in a fitted outfit doesn’t make her a slut who wants you to rip off her dress. That’s just her body shape.
5. We’re fat: The other outfit choice, instead of looking “slutty” is wearing baggy clothing to try and hide our big boobs. Guess what happens then? Clothes hang off of our breasts like a tent and we look overweight.
6. Big boobs are better for breastfeeding: Breast size has nothing to do with a woman’s ability to produce breast milk.
7. You can’t be smart and super curvy: Like, OMG, totally, what were you saying? I can’t remember or pay attention because my big giant boobs like suck all my brain cells or something. As if.
8. We knock ourselves in the face jogging: In theory, I suppose it could happen, but aside from the intro to “Baywatch” when do you actually even see big-breasted women jogging? We tend not to do it because it’s uncomfortable without wearing at least two sports bras.
9. We love bras: We NEED bras, we don’t necessarily love or want to wear them, but the alternative option is sweaty underboob, not to mention the awkwardness errant nipples elicit.
10. We want to talk about our boobs! Snarky articles aside, we tend to not love answering questions about (A) our bra size (B) if they’re real (C) if they’re painful (D) if we wish they were smaller.
Find Jill on Twitter @jillettinger
Related on EcoSalon
Boobs Aren’t News: UK Campaign Takes on Rupert Murdoch’s Page 3
Men Drink Breast Milk Instead of Taking Steroids…It’s Still Super Weird
The Other Side of Sexism and the Return of The Sacred Masculine