Because life is sexier when you’re going for the gold.

1. Have you seen my muscles? They’re pretty big.
2. Life is all about hurdles, especially this one by my bed.
3. I like to call them “running underwear.”
4. I’ve been carrying this torch for you all night, let’s go put it out at my place.
5. Looks like you’ve got a good archery arm, how’s your aim?
6. I’m not sure what sculling is but I like the sound of it.
7. Judo? Sure. I love taking people down on a mat.
8. Why don’t you pull in your mainsail and set a course for my lake.
9. You are so damn flexible.
10. Oh I’ve been playing handball for a long time.
11. I bet you could easily lift me off the ground.
12. I know a few other ways we could play table tennis.
13. Joint locks, pins and grappling? Is that what you do in wrestling?
14. You are such a good rider.
15. My backhand doesn’t feel right can you help me with my stroke.
16. A pentathlete? What else are you good at doing all at once?
17. I’m a black belt… somewhere.
18. Let me show you my javelin grip.
19. You won’t want to escape from my half nelson.
20. My you have an impressive shuttle cock.
21. I don’t understand a thing you’re saying but I will pretend to.
22. I’ll ping your pong if you pong my ping.
23. I think you’re done with those warmups, let’s get them off.
24. Do you always respond on the command of “stroke?”
25. I’d like to be your pommel horse.
26. I’d give you the gold any day.
27. Want to get sand in naughty places?
28. I’d be happy to take home your bronze.
29. Can I be a part of your training regimen?
30. Wanna teach me to sing your anthem?
31. Even if you don’t win a medal I’ll still raise your flag.
32. Can you help me with my tumbling routine?
33. My that’s one handsome steed.
34. Let’s see how perfectly we can time our dismounts.
35. I’d love to have you spin my discus.
36. You obviously have a lot of endurance, I’d love to test those skills.
37. Good game! I’m sure you’ll score again soon.
38. Do you always have that good of aim?
39. I’d like to give you a good dressage.
40. Milliseconds may matter, but I love a good slow play.
41. Can I touch your medal?
42. I’d give you a ten for synchronization.
43. You have been eating your Wheaties.
44. Your breast stroke has great form.
45. You can be my starboard any day.
46. Parallel bars? Is that what Olympians call them these days?
47. Do you rate dives on depth or form?
48. I never miss my hand off.
49. I’d love to be a sponsor so I could see my name all over you.
50. In the spirit of the games, we should get better acquainted.

Image: An Honorable German

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