Big breasts equal bigger results for women in the bedroom, according to a new study from Brazil.

Brazilian researchers have found that much like their breasts, a woman’s sex life is given a substantial lift after getting big breasts via implant surgery. The study is based on a whopping – get this – 45 women who underwent the surgery (not exactly a representative sample) It gets worse: their sex lives improved only if they didn’t end up with stretch marks after the surgery.

Researcher Dr. Paulo Guimaraes and his colleagues had the women fill out a questionnaire pre-surgery, and then again two, four and 18 months post-op to gauge their sexual desire, arousal and satisfaction. The ladies (sans stretch marks) reported they were, in fact, more satisfied with their sex lives after getting the big breasts.

I’m not ridiculing any woman who has gotten or plans on getting breast implants – it’s your right, it’s your body, and I fully support any decision that makes a woman feel empowered. But let’s be serious – who’s sex life are big breasts really improving? Especially if you’re a woman who ends up with side effects from the surgery, such as nipple numbness or shooting pains – sure, your big breasts look great, but will you even know what’s going on down there?

According to Dr. David Reath, who’s on the public education committee of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS):

When I see patients and follow up, a lot of them will say, ‘My husband and I or my boyfriend and I are having a lot of fun.’

Um, yeah, because their husband/boyfriend has new toys to play with! I can seriously picture his inner 5-year-old screeching, “Boobies!” and then honking them Fisher Price-style.

While I’m sure big breasts deliver a boost of confidence that may rev up your inner sex kitten, I can’t help but feel bad for the nine poor women from the study who ended up with stretch marks: Are they back to doing it with the lights out – partially to hide the new thing they’re self-conscious about and to save on electricity since their investment has racked up their credit cards?

These “findings” about big breasts are being presented at the ASPS’ annual meeting. Oh, but don’t worry, the findings are only “preliminary” until they’re published in a peer-reviewed journal. I’ll bet my entire life savings – three dollars and 17 cents, plus the change in my couch – that this big breasts study was really put together by the laboratory equivalent of Al Bundy.

So there you have it: I thought the most ridiculous thing I’d learn about this week was Vanilla Ice going Amish, but that theory’s been blown right out of the silicone.

Sources:
Do Breast Implants Boost Women’s Sex Lives?
Breast implants may improve women’s sex lives, study suggests

Related on EcoSalon:

The Breasts Are All Right

The Flaw of the Bra: Health Hazards of Bouncing Breasts

Yep, It’s Really All About the Breasts

Image: Jeremiah Wong

The post The Key to Amping Up Your Sex Life? Big Breasts, Apparently [Study] appeared first on EcoSalon.

Chris Jordan‘s Barbie Dolls. Depicts 32,000 Barbies, equal to the amount of breast augmentation surgeries per month in the U.S.

It’s true, I like breasts. I like them a lot and I’m not afraid to say it. Big, small, medium, it really doesn’t matter. What makes them so awesome is that they’re like fingerprints: no two are alike.

As these things happen, recently I found myself in a conversation about breasts and I couldn’t resist spouting my personal aversion to implants (both tactically and philosophically). The conversation occurred at a nonprofit fundraiser I attended in Malibu, California. As this was Malibu, there were a lot of souped-up puffy parts parading around, striking fear and awe in all who glanced their way. After discussing homegrown augmentation, another participant in the conversation said, “Well, don’t go to Columbia if you don’t like fake boobs.”

Then, the very next day an acquaintance told me all about her trip to Bangkok, which was taken for the sole purpose of getting her sister some cut rate cleavage.

Holy hell is traveling for affordable implants a huge industry. Who would have thought surgical tourism was the new way to see the world?

Journalist that I am, I fixated on breasts globally and methodically and came across some interesting information. Holland, for example, has the highest rate of breast implants in the world, but isn’t a popular destination for enhancement safaris. For those looking for a deal, here’s the 411:

Thailand

• $2,000 Naraveesurgery.com
• $2,600 Bangkokplasticsurgery.com
• $2,600-3,000 Secretescapes.com.au
• $2,700-$3,300 Yourglobalmd.com
• $ 3,000-3,500 Thailandmedicalcenter.com
• $3,500 Chet-plasticsurgery.com

India

• $2,490-$2,790 Cosmeticsurgeonabroad.com
• $3,300-$5,050 Yourglobalmd.com
• $3,900-$4,600 Medicalindiatourism.com

Costa Rica

• $3,000-$3,400 Yourglobalmd.com
• $3,200-$3,500 Moraplasticsurgery.com
• $5,770 Mycostaricaplasticsurgery.com

Argentina

• $3,850 Placidway.com
• $2,950 Sublimis.com

Mexico

• $5,000 Yourglobalmd.com

Singapore

• $5,000-$10,000 Yourglobalmd.com

Amazing. I had no idea that this industry existed at all. As a guy in defense of au natural, let me add to my case for just shaking what your mom gave you by sharing some startling stats: according to a 2007 Swedish survey, women with implants are three more likely to commit suicide than women who do not have implants and are also three more likely to die from alcohol or drug abuse.

I’ll say this, ladies: Do what you have to do, but know that there are plenty of men out there who just want to get on a plane with you to Thailand, India, Costa Rica, Argentina, Mexico and Singapore who love you and your twins just the way they are.

Images: Chris Jordan

The post The Breasts Are All Right appeared first on EcoSalon.