As a kid, I watched a lot of those PBS National Geographic type shows that visited Indigenous cultures around the world. And I always got knots in my stomach when the camera panned over topless women with elongated sagging breasts.

It wasn’t the esthetics of it—I was too young to understand the sex appeal of perky breasts over sagging ones. It was the threat of my own discomfort someday; that is, if my breasts ever appeared and then (inevitably) began to sag. How awkward that must be, to not only have those two masses bulging out from your chest like external organs, but to also have them heavily hanging down like undeveloped appendages.

In the Western world, we thankfully have Victoria’s Secret helping us out in that department. And as any woman who wears a C cup or larger knows, being without a functioning bra is quite terrifying—worthwhile of calling in sick from work and hiding out until you can properly stow your girls in their preferred Lycra/Spandex cup homes.

Bras offer us comfort and support and keep us from accidentally losing a dangling nipple in the paper shredder, but they don’t prevent sagging breasts–in fact there’s conflicting science on whether or not bras may actually accelerate sagging. Regardless of the bra’s role in it all, it seems gravity works despite our best efforts to ignore it. Naturally, many women turn to the Internet to solve their problems, and headlines like these about preventing or reversing sagging breasts are everywhere:

5 Everyday Habits That Are Causing Your Boobs to Sag

Home Remedies for Firming Sagging Breasts

Sagging Breasts: How to Perk Things Up

5 Ways to Prevent Your Boobs from Sagging

I’m no doctor, but I do have boobs (two!). And you know what? Boobs sag, whether or not they’re excessively large or used for long periods of nursing. Yes, we can have them surgically altered so they don’t sag or jiggle. We can try “home remedies” or the exercises these articles recommend to stop the sagging. But we can also just let them do their thing—bras optional.

The worst thing about our obsession with sagging breasts is that not only are women way more fixated on the issue than men (a good man loves you the way you are, aging boobs and all), but these so-called “tricks” don’t really work. Yes, you may see some minor improvements, but nothing except implants will give you those perky, porn-worthy boobs.

And here’s some irony: nobody’s writing articles about natural remedies and tricks for how to prevent sagging testicles and “perk things up” down there, even though it’s as common as sagging breasts. Why? Because society obsesses over women of all ages having the perky boobs of a teenager, regardless of how ridiculous they’d look on a 60-year-old woman. Yet we just accept that men age; we even focus more on their “distinguished” look of grey hair and crow’s feet than the erectile dysfunction and floppy balls that come along with it.

That’s not to say we should all go topless, or even braless (the horror!). But aside from medically necessary surgeries, perhaps we should spend our time on more pressing issues like making sure our breasts are healthy, rather than trying to fight aging—because even behavior that childish doesn’t fool nature.

Find Jill on Twitter and Instagram

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Woman holding breasts image via Shutterstock

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Women with big boobs enjoy a lot of benefits, but there are myths to be set straight, too.

I feel a Dr. Seuss story coming on: Left Boob, Right Boob. Big Boobs! Little Boobs! Boobs, Boobs, Boobs!

How many different myths about women with big boobs are there to be perpetually and consistently misinformed about? Even in 2014 we still don’t understand female anatomy as well as we should, and no woman feels that more than a woman with big boobs.

Here are some of the biggest myths about big boobs. We’re setting the record straight.

1. They’re not real: The most obvious myth is that big boobs are usually unnatural. Guess again. The solid, jiggle-less gigantic boobs are the unnatural ones, but most of the big boobs out there are real.

2. Big boobs must mean we always want sex, right? Wrong. A woman’s sexuality is a result of many things, least of all her cup size.

3. We want our boobs to be the focus of sex: They’re fun and all, but they’re not a vagina annex.

4. We’re sluts: Blame bad porn for this one, but a woman in a fitted outfit doesn’t make her a slut who wants you to rip off her dress. That’s just her body shape.

5. We’re fat: The other outfit choice, instead of looking “slutty” is wearing baggy clothing to try and hide our big boobs. Guess what happens then? Clothes hang off of our breasts like a tent and we look overweight.

6. Big boobs are better for breastfeeding: Breast size has nothing to do with a woman’s ability to produce breast milk.

7. You can’t be smart and super curvy: Like, OMG, totally, what were you saying? I can’t remember or pay attention because my big giant boobs like suck all my brain cells or something. As if.

8. We knock ourselves in the face jogging: In theory, I suppose it could happen, but aside from the intro to “Baywatch” when do you actually even see big-breasted women jogging? We tend not to do it because it’s uncomfortable without wearing at least two sports bras.

9. We love bras: We NEED bras, we don’t necessarily love or want to wear them, but the alternative option is sweaty underboob, not to mention the awkwardness errant nipples elicit.

10. We want to talk about our boobs! Snarky articles aside, we tend to not love answering questions about (A) our bra size (B) if they’re real (C) if they’re painful (D) if we wish they were smaller.

Find Jill on Twitter @jillettinger

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Big breasts equal bigger results for women in the bedroom, according to a new study from Brazil.

Brazilian researchers have found that much like their breasts, a woman’s sex life is given a substantial lift after getting big breasts via implant surgery. The study is based on a whopping – get this – 45 women who underwent the surgery (not exactly a representative sample) It gets worse: their sex lives improved only if they didn’t end up with stretch marks after the surgery.

Researcher Dr. Paulo Guimaraes and his colleagues had the women fill out a questionnaire pre-surgery, and then again two, four and 18 months post-op to gauge their sexual desire, arousal and satisfaction. The ladies (sans stretch marks) reported they were, in fact, more satisfied with their sex lives after getting the big breasts.

I’m not ridiculing any woman who has gotten or plans on getting breast implants – it’s your right, it’s your body, and I fully support any decision that makes a woman feel empowered. But let’s be serious – who’s sex life are big breasts really improving? Especially if you’re a woman who ends up with side effects from the surgery, such as nipple numbness or shooting pains – sure, your big breasts look great, but will you even know what’s going on down there?

According to Dr. David Reath, who’s on the public education committee of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS):

When I see patients and follow up, a lot of them will say, ‘My husband and I or my boyfriend and I are having a lot of fun.’

Um, yeah, because their husband/boyfriend has new toys to play with! I can seriously picture his inner 5-year-old screeching, “Boobies!” and then honking them Fisher Price-style.

While I’m sure big breasts deliver a boost of confidence that may rev up your inner sex kitten, I can’t help but feel bad for the nine poor women from the study who ended up with stretch marks: Are they back to doing it with the lights out – partially to hide the new thing they’re self-conscious about and to save on electricity since their investment has racked up their credit cards?

These “findings” about big breasts are being presented at the ASPS’ annual meeting. Oh, but don’t worry, the findings are only “preliminary” until they’re published in a peer-reviewed journal. I’ll bet my entire life savings – three dollars and 17 cents, plus the change in my couch – that this big breasts study was really put together by the laboratory equivalent of Al Bundy.

So there you have it: I thought the most ridiculous thing I’d learn about this week was Vanilla Ice going Amish, but that theory’s been blown right out of the silicone.

Sources:
Do Breast Implants Boost Women’s Sex Lives?
Breast implants may improve women’s sex lives, study suggests

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The post The Key to Amping Up Your Sex Life? Big Breasts, Apparently [Study] appeared first on EcoSalon.

Put ten women in room to discuss bras, and you’ll get at least ten different opinions (possibly more!) on whether bras are awesome or not. As a bra-hater myself (except for a good sports bra when I’m exercising), I regularly look for blouses that I can skip a bra while wearing, or wear a pretty organic bralette with if I must wear something.

Apparently, Nicki Minaj and I have this one thing in common. Check out her kinda over-the-top (or is it under-the-boob?) jacket on her recent visit to the Ellen show (below).  I don’t know that even I would rock this particular look, but I give her a “you go girl” for sure. I’m loving Nicki Minaj’s no bra thing—what about you? (To see the full version of the cropped-for-standards photo above, check out Nicki’s Twitter stream here.)

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The post Nicki Minaj Heads Up the No Bra Club, Calls Them “the Devil” on Ellen Show appeared first on EcoSalon.

Alicia Silverstone hopes to provide assistance to fellow vegan moms who are struggling to feed their newborns breast milk.

We’ve heard of car sharing, bike sharing, and other collaborative consumption efforts, but what about sharing breast milk? Your initial reaction might be shock, but it’s actually not uncommon for women to supplement their own milk production in times of emergency or physical inability. There are both formal “milk banks” and informal sharing circles.

Now, actress, author, and vegan activist, Alicia Silverstone, has launched her own peer-to-peer breast milk sharing program, called “Kind Mama Milk Share.” The program is intended to provide an alternative for those mothers who have made the decision to be vegan, and want to raise their newborns in the same way.

On her blog, The Kind Life, Silverstone recounts the experience that inspired her to start the milk share.

A couple weeks ago, another mama I know gave birth to a son…because of a breast reduction surgery, she found she wouldn’t be able to make enough milk for him, no matter how much precious boobie time they spent together. She tried reaching out in her community for donor milk, but it was almost impossible to figure out what kind of lifestyle choices the donors had made.”

Vegan mothers who find themselves in similar situations are often forced to turn to formulas in order to ensure proper caloric intake. Yes, there are vegan formulas, but just like the dairy-based version, it’s a poor substitute for mother’s milk.

In a move that clearly plans to mobilize Silverstone’s significant online following, she’s encouraging vegan mothers who need milk to connect with those who have extra milk by commenting on her website. There are already more than 100 comments offering or requesting milk on the post, though it’s unclear whether Silverstone will be creating a dedicated page for “Kind Mama Milk Share”.

Would you participate in a sharing program of this nature or encourage your friends to do so? Share your thoughts in a comment. 

Image: maessive

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Being a woman in the 21st century is not a piece of cake. It wasn’t easy in 1950 or at any other time in history, either. But in 2011, in today’s universe that keeps getting bigger and faster and richer, it takes serious cojones to be a girl.

Today more than ever, women are bombarded with expectations – be beautiful, bear a baby, become a millionaire, be educated, be a good wife and please do it all while being good to the planet. So, anything else?

Never mind, don’t answer that.

Yes, there are obstacles, but I celebrate the women who break the mold and laugh at conformity. They are brave, outspoken and rather revolutionary. What is it that we girls tolerate least of all? Being told what we need to be happy.

So, I’m here to smash a few of these assumptions. I’ll do so without bearing a grudge or turning against men because I love being a woman. And in my opinion (humble as it may be), getting angry never got us anywhere other than backlash and behind where we started.

Here’s our list of things women don’t need in order to be happy:

1. A child. It’s true, our eggs get older and less viable as we age. There comes a point when we just can not have a baby, whether we have a hankerin’ for it or not. There’s no denying biology or the clock. But a childless woman is not necessarily an unhappy or devastated one. In fact it’s possible to feel quite free and fancy, sexy and spontaneous. And I can personally attest to the fact that there is absolutely no greater pleasure in my life than being an aunt to Rose and Jack. My heart explodes with love for them, but you know the catch…um, returnable.

2. A wedding. If I learned anything by watching friends and colleagues get matched, married and divorced over the past 20 years, it’s this – weddings are a great party, but mostly they just cost a mountain of money, a monstrous amount of stress and aren’t always worth their weight in white cake. Nothing costs as much, has the potential to rip families apart rather than bring them together, and is over faster than wedding night foreplay. Just elope – it’s easy, cheap and just think of all the extra time you’ll have for foreplay.

3. A diamond ring. By no means does a diamond a girl make. And anyway, a diamond is far from the best choice when it comes to sustainable stones. There are plenty of other far superior options if that’s what you need to signify your relationship status. But why wait for someone else to shower you with the shiny? I revel in my single-hood and independence and joy in shopping for a precious piece of jewelry for myself. You should, too. Especially if he can’t (or won’t) buy it for you.

4. A perfect body. Well, actually…this one would be nice. Admit it. But “perfect” is such an ugly word. We’d much rather be happy than perfect, right? Right? Actually, I don’t know many women who are completely satisfied with their physique. There’s usually a little here or there that we’d prefer to improve, but skinny is not a requirement for happy. My friends come in all shapes and sizes, and their happiness depends on deeper issues. Thinking that once we get to this place of perfect, we will have joy? We all know the answer to that one.

5. A thousand friends and followers. As in Facebook and Twitter, of course. In the beginning (when was that anyway?), I spent way too much time worrying about my worthiness in the world in relation to my number of social media connections. Come to realize, I may not be a maven but I’m worth my weight in effort and outspokenness. I do not need to meet a certain number to feel like I’ve made it. Who can be effective with that many followers, anyway? (Follow me though, really, if you aren’t already. Follow me! @kimderby77)

6. A man. Who needs one when there are plenty of gorgeous women to hang out with? Seriously, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. I dated a woman for two years, and it’s fun and different (and entirely personal of course). But just sayin’. Never say never, because I did and I’m still eating my words.

7. A pair of perky breasts. Again, this would be nice and definitely more probable if we abide by number 1 above, but not necessary or impossible if not. A gorgeous, lacy and luxuriously padded bra will do the trick.

8. A soul-mate. Don’t believe in them. Never have and never will. One person who we are destined to be with forever? Silliness. Life is a random flow of crossing paths and we will probably connect with more than a few people on a deep, spiritual, other-worldly level. And if things don’t work out after truly trying, well, move on. Whoever said we should stay together for the kids, through pain and suffering, never set foot in my house growing up.

9. A partner with a low sex drive. Excuse me while I fall off my chair laughing. I hear all kinds of stories, especially from women with babies who lose interest and couldn’t be bothered. I’m terribly sorry. Seriously. But the average woman without hangups whose hormones are level and loaded should be totally driven in this department. End of story.

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The post 9 Things You Don’t Need to be Happy appeared first on EcoSalon.

Breasts are big in America. And I’m not just talking physically, though in my town of Hollywood, you’re more likely to see more silicone than they used to make the space shuttle – on one woman, no less. Breasts have achieved a place in our mental oeuvre than seem to take up more energy than one would think body parts deserve.

For women, our relationships with our boobs/breasts/milk sacks can be complicated. If we have largest chesticles, some of us wish for the freedom to run without corsetry. If we have smaller breasts, some of us buy push-up bras and consider plastic surgery. For many women, coming to terms with their chest sizes is a life-long process. And for the women who don’t give a damn or feel they have other things to worry about, rock on.

But from the women who cringe when they get ogled in a bar to the women who wish their bikinis had more bounce – we hear you, sisters. As a new study points out, your anxiety may come from nature, not necessarily neurosis. In other words, you’re not imagining anything. The Telegraph reports that a study from the University of Texas, Austin, confirms that men look at women’s bodies for the short-term, as in for dates and one night stands. And for long-term relationships? Men consider faces over bodies.

Yes, I’m sure we just all heard a collective gasp of “duh” across the world. Heterosexual men look at women’s bodies? Cows like grass? Dogs like bones? Anderson Cooper is a stone-cold fox? But the UT researchers went a bit farther with their investigations. And yes, you’re all gorgeous and screw what your preferred gender thinks, male or female, right? Physically, it’s a bit of a different story.

The UT study looked at the reactions of 375 men and women who were asked to decide if they would date a member of the opposite sex based purely on their bodies or faces. Men were asked if they would consider a pretty face or a voluptuous body. Looking at pictures of bodies with faces obscured or faces with bodies obscured, men were much more likely to go for body over face.

Then there were the men who were looking to settle down for the long term. These men picked faces over bodies. As the Texas study explained, “Both the body and face can provide clues as to a woman’s reproductive value and current fertility, but this study revealed men go for bodily cues more when looking for a short-term mate.” And might we point out, one study does not define an entire gender or sexual orientation.

And finally, what about the women in the study? Did women pick men according to their broad shoulders or richly-filled in hairlines? Not at all, according to the study. Women all gave priority to a man’s face in both short-term and long-term scenarios.

Image: scragz

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