The idea of a mail order bride has a wild reputation. It brings to mind a woman climbing into a crate that the post office handles. On the other side of the world, the woman leaps out and into the arms of her new husband, thrilled to be starting a new life. Happiness abounds! Until new bride gets sick of her unattractive new husband and takes off with her trainer, Fabio, to hit the club scene in Miami. Sadness flourishes. Or does everyone live happily ever after in domestic bliss? Hope rises!

Despite varying perceptions, the mail order bride trade is flourishing. You would think that with a recession in full swing, Americans would be cutting back on all non-essentials. But throw the idea of true romance and love into the mix, and apparently financial concerns can become as soft and hazy as a sunset walk on the beach. What exactly is going in?

The Tahirih Justice Center is a nonprofit organization in Falls Church, Virginia, that protects immigrant women. As Msnbc.com reports, they “estimate that the number of mail order marriages in the U.S. more than doubled between 1999 and 2007, when up to 16,500 such unions were sealed.” Not to mention, it’s quite lucrative. The mail-order bride business, where women and men are matched up with others around the world, made an estimated $2 billion in 2010.

Joseph Weiner is the owners of Hand-In-Hand, an organization that charges men $2000 to be matched with Eastern European women. As Weiner told Msnbc.com, “We’re still opening up franchises, and business is booming. Financial problems are the biggest cause of divorce. There are more financial problems now. There are more people available!” Further, Weiner thinks the reason his business is so successful is simple biology. According to Weiner, “Every guy wants a beautiful younger woman. It’s the nature of us.”

Does Weiner have us pegged? Or is he just a sexist entrepreneur exploiting lonely men and opportunistic young women determined to grab an American visa? One thing is certain: the mail-order bride business, which now prefers to be called “international matchmaking,” makes many people uncomfortable. For some, it is because it often involves an exchange of money. In that respect, it’s hard not to compare these sites to “Sugar Daddy” sites, where men and women seek each other out on a financial basis.

If you were to ask any of the smiling couples promoting the international matchmaking business, you would be hard pressed to find a dissatisfied customer. “The Today Show” recently featured Tanya Adams, the internationally match-made Russian wife of John Adams. Mr. Adams is the co-founder of Phoenix-based “A Foreign Affair” which charges $4000 to connect international love matches. As Mrs. Adams posed to Matt Lauer, “It’s like Internet dating. If you live in New York and want a girlfriend in California, how is it different?” For Mrs. Adams, life is good.

For other women, the mail-order bride business can be deadly. Two high-profile deaths of mail-order brides, Susanna Blackwell in 1995 and Anatasia King in 2000, caused Congress to pass the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005 (IMBA). Both women were killed by husbands with a history of violence. Now men or women who wish to marry someone through a matchmaking service must turn over any police records and pass a rigorous background check to qualify for a marriage visa. However, experts point out that agencies often easily avoid this requirement by having participants claim they met elsewhere.

Is there a darker, anti-feminist side to mail order bride operations? As FOX News reports, “Men who seek wives abroad often explicitly state those women here are not worth marrying because they are too independent, ruined by feminism or fill in the pejorative blank.” Feminism is the alleged boogeyman behind these marriages. American women are too empowered, so men must go to countries where women are willing to trade a bit of their power for their own idea of a better life.

Of course, some would argue that men and women who enter into these arrangements are equal opportunity seekers. And as long as no one is harmed, then what’s the problem? If a lonely man who wants a young, pretty wife from another country, and a young, pretty wife wants an American husband, then who are we to judge? They would have a valid point.

But to all the seekers of “international matchmaking” out there criticizing the modern American woman? Ultimately, if you want to enter into a safe, mutually-beneficial romance with a woman from another country – go for it. Just don’t blame feminism. If romantic comedies, Sex and the City and 90 percent of Jennifer Aniston’s movie roles teach us anything, it is that American women apparently want marriage and family in droves.

Images: rbowen, istolethetv

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The month of June has become synonymous with wedding celebrations, as most couples choose summertime as the sunny, idyllic backdrop to say their “I dos.” So now is a great time to discuss the fact that a wedding can be meaningful and magnificent regardless of the number of attendees or money spent. Speaking from first hand experience, my husband and I eloped six years ago in Santa Barbara, Calif., and by doing so, we saved a lot of cash, not to mention, our wedding day was as green as it gets. If you’re a greenie and you dream of running away and eloping, here are some reasons why eloping and preserving the planet are a match made in heaven.

No Invitations or RSVP’s

With only two people showing up for the big day: you and your honey, you’ll save trees by eliminating the need to send out save the date cards and wedding invitations. You’ll also save on fuel costs for the postal service who would otherwise have to run around delivering invitations and follow-up RSVP cards. Of course, if a big wedding is still your plan, you can look into online invitations which require none of the above as well! Paperless Post offers gorgeous virtual options.

No Carbon Emissions or Fuel Consumption Due to Travel

Guests won’t need to travel to and from your wedding ceremony, which drastically cuts back on the carbon emissions and fuel that would be expended due to air and car travel.

Save the Flowers

I had one gorgeous bouquet of roses, and my husband wore a single rose boutonniere on the lapel of his tuxedo, which saved copious amounts of flowers from being cut for decorative purposes to fill a venue and for use as centerpieces. We also purchased our locally grown blossoms the morning of our wedding day from a Santa Barbara florist.

Don’t Let Them Eat Cake

My husband and I got the most adorable and delicious small wedding cake to share between us, which we special ordered from a local bakery in Santa Barbara called Henning’s Cakes. There was enough for us to dig into our wedding day, and enough to freeze two slices to eat on our one year wedding anniversary to recall the sweetness of the day.

One Caveat: Photography – But Wedding Photography Can Be Eco-Friendly!

My only regret about our low-key wedding day is that we didn’t hire a professional photographer to capture sentimental moments like only a pro can. Although we got some great candid shots, as seen in this post, I am envious when I look at the priceless photos of my friends who had their special day documented and now forever preserved in pristine albums. Of course, I’ll always treasure our photos, but they’re not the same as professional grade images. So this is the one area I’d say to spend money and resources on. Check out this video on green wedding photography at the Mother Nature Network.

If you don’t want to give up your plans for a big white wedding, but you still want the special occasion to be green, fret not! Here are 9 eco wedding tips and 20 online resources for planning an eco wedding to get you started on your walk down the aisle, and here is information on eco-chic wedding gowns, from a previous post, Eco-Wedding Bells Are Ringing. You can also get a firsthand glimpse into a green wedding by reading this two part series.

Images: Beth Shea

The post Elope! 5 Ways to Say ‘I Do’ to Preserving the Earth on Your Wedding Day appeared first on EcoSalon.

When my boyfriend proposed to me after many years together, there was no question of an elopement. We knew that we wanted to make our vows in front of all our friends and family and celebrate our commitment with a party.

We also knew that we wanted the wedding to reflect our values. Sure, I wanted to wear a beautiful dress and we were keen to treat our guests to a good time. But we didn’t want our wedding to cost the earth – either literally or figuratively. With some of our friends and family out of work as a result of the recession, it didn’t seem in keeping with the times to spend too much money.

Getting married is an expression of hope for the future. So what would it say about us and our relationship if we planned our wedding without any regard for the future of our planet?

That said, our wedding was not deep green. We didn’t take our guests camping like this bride and there were certainly compromises along the way. (I wish I’d had these nine eco wedding tips or  20 online resources for an eco-wedding at my fingertips!) I just used my own creativity and common sense to lighten the load. I hope that my experiences and ideas might inspire and inform other brides (and grooms).

My Green Wedding

We are from Australia but we have been living in Europe for the past five years. Sydney is almost exactly half a world from London so realistically this means air travel. It made no sense to expect our friends and family to come to us – we would have to go to them. So at least we were talking about flights for two people, not dozens. To further cut down on flying, we timed the wedding to coincide with my grandmother’s 80th birthday and my cousin’s wedding, both occasions that I wanted to be home for. We also decided to honeymoon in Australia. No hardship there – we spent two glorious weeks on the Great Barrier Reef in Queensland.

Since we were on the other side of the world we did most of our research on venues and caterers online. Google and email were invaluable tools, though we did have family on hand to check things out in person when needed. We wanted our money to help support the local community so we avoided big hotels and wedding venues from the outset.

We were married in a church  and for me one advantage with this was that the hire fee went to upkeep of a beautiful old building (St. Mary’s in East Balmain) as well as community charity work. If we had decided on a civil ceremony, we probably would have hired a celebrant to marry us in a garden ceremony and paid hire fees to a public park instead.

Our reception was in a sailing club, which meant our hire fees helped to fund community sport. It also meant we had the benefit of a hall right on Sydney Harbour for a modest sum and had the freedom to call in our own decorators, caterers and entertainers.

We chose the caterer partly on the proposed menu and prices but also because they were easy to deal with via email. We investigated organic food for the reception but it still carries quite a premium in Australia – the cost is up to 50% higher –  and we couldn’t afford it for 110 people. Instead we asked the caterers to serve local, seasonal food. The menu was planned with this in mind and we gave the caterers license to change it in the last few days depending on what was available. Reducing food miles has an obvious environmental benefit but local seasonal food also tends to be better and cheaper.

We served two vegetarian side dishes and a choice of a vegetarian or meat main course. Although the meat and eggs were not organic, they were at least free range. The wine and beer were from Australia and we served jugs of tap water with lime and mint rather than bottled water. My mother made the wedding cake and knowing her, it was probably mostly organic. I’m not sure about that – what I do know is that it was delicious.

One of my cousins is a florist and she did a wonderful job with the flowers. This part of the wedding probably had quite a large environmental footprint but we made sure they weren’t wasted – we reused the flowers from the church at the reception and we made sure that all the table flowers went home with guests at the end of the night.

The club didn’t have recycling facilities but we made sure that relatives and the caterers between them took away empty bottles for recycling rather than putting them in the bin.

We had a live band (a wonderful group called Blue Trip) rather than a DJ or an iPod playlist. We made that choice obviously because we like live music and thought our guests would enjoy it – but also because we want to support the arts and to help people to make a living from art and music.

In the sequel I’ll talk about finding the dress and men’s wear, the rings and invitations and gifts. Stay tuned for next week!

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