Oh the things you can do when you’re broke.

You know how everyone keeps saying that there’s an upside to this recession? Well, when you lost your job eight months ago, you also lost your health insurance, in part because of a backdoor federal move to make unemployment punishable by death. It’s also true your parents have been driven into early retirement and foreclosed on their home, forcing you all to simultaneously move into each other’s soon-to-be-repossessed basements. And yes, lately you’ve been spending a lot of time watching the bedraggled remnants of the American middle class trampled to oblivion by an economy now populated exclusively with yacht-focused investment bankers and McDonald’s robots.

“But at least you’re spending more time with your loved ones,” people are saying.

“Cutting back makes you appreciate the simpler things in life,” the same or profoundly similar people tell us.

“I actually find holding a gallon of milk at a steady simmer for a full hour to be a very soothing process,” says the recession embracing artisan yogurt maker.

Though you’re probably going to be busy with all these family love-ins and culinary meditation opportunities, here are 15 more things to do with all the free time you have now that your chosen occupation no longer exists anywhere on this planet. Enjoy!

15. Some sort of forced outdoorsy group activity through Meetup or Groupon – God, I don’t know, a discounted group date for a skydiving session? No, really, it’ll be fun (it won’t).

14. Go to your local library. Oh, I forgot, it’s closed after 3pm and also on weekends. Try your local bookstore? Do you have any books at your house? I see. What about the Yellow Pages? That still shows up on your doorstep every once in a while, right? There’s got to be something interesting in there, like a piano moving company you can go watch hard at work or a list of churches you’re thinking about joining (now that you need faith).

13. Do you still have a phone? If so, does your plan include unlimited minutes? Pick an ex. Any ex. See how many times you can call them in an hour and really process your feelings with each voicemail. Try using different voices and see if they can still recognize you!

12. Menstruate. That’s at least three days right there. “What are you up to this weekend, Carrie?”

“Oh, I thought I’d just shed my endometrium lining in case I choose to use my body to make life. You?”

11. Too broke for brunch? I have three words for you: farmer’s market samples. Almost every stand has them, and if you work your way down the line slowly enough, they might have forgotten your face by round two. Also, if someone puts down a cup of coffee while bagging their produce, it’s fair game.

10. Put the internet to good use. There are literally thousands of useful YouTube tutorials available for free. Want to look like Audrey Hepburn? Fix your iPhone screen? Mend a shoe? It’s all there for you. You can even learn how to pick a lock, which would be incredibly helpful if you get evicted (because, you know, you’re still broke).

9. You don’t need me to tell you to go outside, right? Go outside! There’s still a few weeks left before blizzard season.

8. If you live in the Bay Area, FunCheapSF aggregates local free and ultra-cheap events on a daily basis. These can be pretty hit-and-miss, but for every municipal Winter Festival Parade, there’s a free astronaut class.

7. Host a swap party with some friends/coworkers/friendly people you met on the bus last week. Swap books! Or, if your friends have terrible taste in books, swap clothes. If your friends have terrible taste in clothes, swap food. Which I guess is technically a potluck, so:

6. Host a potluck! It’s like getting all the credit for throwing a dinner party without having to turn your oven on. Make some cute name tags, pull out some paper lanterns and Christmas lights, and all of a sudden you’re the “Friend Who Has It Together.” See? This isn’t so bad.

5. You might as well try to meditate, because the worst-case scenario means you take a nice long nap on your floor in your yoga pants. Maybe vacuum first, just in case. But still, floor naps are nothing to shake a stick at.

4. Make your own caramelized onions. Make them in the oven, because it’s ridiculous to stand in front of the stove stirring something for hours unless it’s going to turn into a Polyjuice Potion. All you need are onions, butter, oil, and salt. Onions are so cheap! They last forever! Put it on pizza. Put it on sandwiches. Put it on mashed potatoes. Put it on everything. You can’t stop and you don’t even want to.

3. The third Thursday of every November is Beaujolais Nouveau Day. This year marks the 60th anniversary of the yearly release. Remember, it’s not a drinking problem if it’s tradition. It’s cheap! It’s purple! You could drink it forever. Go get some. Now. Drink it with friends. Drink it alone! Say “Beaujolais Nouveau c’est arrive!” over and over again until you can trill the r’s satisfactorily, or you’re too tipsy to care.

2. Do you have rich friends? Maybe they can buy you expensive wine, you know, for comparison to the Beaujolais Nouveau. Maybe you could find rich friends if you snuck into more regattas and galas. Avoid fundraisers, though; they usually charge per plate.

1. EcoSalon is free? I’m just saying…

Image: Design Trust for Public Space

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When it comes to Europe, I’ve always been a proponent of fresh baked baguettes, a good chunk of cheese and a bottle of local wine as your best bet for a good meal; European culinary travel means not always having to shell out a fortune for good food. But Europe is also the epicenter of fine dining, known for luxurious restaurants and elaborate menus that elicit a sense of upper class. But just like in North America, times are changing, especially in light of recent economic woes, making inexpensive cuisine the new European chic.

What’s the latest Euro trend? Draft mojitos. Hand muddled lime is apparently so passe, at least when the premixed version comes at less than four euros a pop, which is good for both consumers pocketbooks and bars that have until now seen a decline in their clientele. Sure, a draft cocktail is undoubtedly less classy than a hand shaken and stirred concoction, but who knows, maybe the new invention will become something like the PBR of cocktails.

But it doesn’t stop at drinks. Some of Europe’s longstanding street food favorites are starting to get their own levels of new-found respect. Just last week a pita and falafel joint made the Belgian GaultMillau list, which is on par with Michelin or Zagat in terms of ranking restaurants. In a down economy, low key, traditional joints are experiencing a sort of revival, with emphasis on frugal instead of typical definitions of fine dining. This idea of “Bistronomy” puts a focus on simple, classic flavors, for which European cuisine is already known. Now it just happens to be hip again. As the AP is calling it: “Gourmet grunge.”

And, as it turns out, it might not even be all on account of less money. Scaling back and returning to classic recipes might just be because of a general desire to simplify.

Fed up with overly fancy cooking, several chefs in France and some in Belgium have opted out of the Michelin rating system in recent years, complaining that it costs too much to maintain stars and no longer gives them the sheer joy of cooking with simple ingredients.

Which means that baguette picnic lunch just made it to five-star class.

Image: athomson

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Every time I go to the grocery store, I’m shocked to see how much the prices keep climbing. In a moment of penny-pinching madness, it’s tempting to live off 65-cent frozen burritos. That is, until you look at the nutrition information. So, I’ve done some research to find the healthiest foods that even the strictest recessionista budgets can afford – if you’ve got a dollar, you can get at least one serving (and often several) of the following foods.

Yogurt

Rich in calcium, this nourishing breakfast or snack costs next to nothing. To get the most for your money, stick with bulk containers and stay away from yogurt that’s packaged for single servings (and packed with sugar).

Oats

Oats are a great source of fiber and can even help lower your cholesterol. Although individual packets of instant oatmeal may shave some minutes off your morning routine, stretch your dollar by buying them in bulk.

Eggs

Whoever came up with the slogan “the incredible, edible egg” really hit the nail on the head. Whether poached, scrambled, sunny-side-up or hard-boiled, this protein packed food is as inexpensive, wholesome and tasty as they come.

Bananas

A great source of potassium and fiber, bananas are one of the most economical fruits around. Eat them plain or slice them up as a healthy topping for cereal and yogurt.

Beans

Whether you prefer garbanzo, pinto, black beans or other varieties, this filling food is high in protein, potassium fiber and zinc. Thrifty tip: go for dry beans instead of canned.

Broccoli

Folate, calcium, fiber, potassium, vitamins A and C: broccoli has it all. Not only is it good for your health, it’s easy on your wallet, as well. Plus, it contains phytonutrients that can help keep diabetes and heart disease at bay.

Tofu

Unfortunately, tofu gets a bad rap when it comes to taste. But, this protein-rich meat alternative can make your mouth water with appetizing recipes like Korean-inspired soft tofu soup with kimchi or Southeast Asian tofu lettuce wraps.

Spinach

Crammed with iron and vitamin C, this low-cost, low-calorie vegetable tastes delicious in omelets and salads. Plus, it’s the perfect topping for a vegetarian pizza.

Sweet Potatoes

High in potassium, fiber and beta carotene, sweet potatoes are a cheap and healthy way to garnish salads and enjoy a snack between meals. Just don’t waste your money on cubed packages; peeling and cutting them yourself will save you some cash.

Apples

An apple a day? Yeah, you’ve heard it before, and for good reason. This juicy fruit boasts loads of pectin and vitamin C, not to mention a low price tag.

Sardines

Like salmon,  the sardine is a great source of omega-3 fatty acids. Unlike salmon, it’s relatively cheap and eco-friendly. For a healthier meal, substitute mayonnaise with a little oil and vinegar.

Nuts

Nuts are rich in protein, essential fatty acids and vitamin E. Just buy them raw, in the shell, for the best bargain and stay away from costly varieties like pecans and macadamia nuts.

Don’t miss Lower on the Food Chain, Lighter on the Wallet: 18 Easy Elements of a Sustainable Diet for more economical, eco-friendly diet tips!

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