There are a lot of people my age who yammer on endlessly about the demise of snail mail. These people love to wax nostalgic about the superiority of old-timey letters written on paper –  as if the simple act of using a Bic ballpoint automatically imbues writers with the eloquence of Charlotte Bronte. I could not disagree more, but I happen to love email – it’s fast and practical and also paper-free, which is good news for the rain forests.

And email is better than ever now, thanks to a new program that lets you know if your email message is projecting a negative tone. This program will alert users if their emails sound angry, insulting or unfriendly. There are those who will object to this software, and rail against it as censorship or corporate control, or some such nonsense. But I think it’s a great idea. Writing is hard and people need all the help they can get – if using this software means you’ll antagonize fewer friends and colleagues, then what’s the harm?  Similar software has been developed to detect sarcasm in outgoing emails; again, this is terrific, but why stop there? I think technology should help us all it can – the following are other ways computers should be rigged to save us from ourselves:

• If you are over the age of twelve and you attempt to make a smiley-face emoticon out of punctuation marks, your computer should seize up and turn itself off in protest. The same holds true if you try to forward a video of cats playing the piano.
• If you are bragging endlessly about your kids, your job, or your beachfront property, a scolding message should appear on the screen, warning you that no one wants to hear it.
• If you are breaking up with someone via email, your computer should sadly inform you that you are simply not fit to live.
• When you’ve wasted an entire day playing Solitaire or Googling people from high school, a pop-up image should appear on your screen, sternly advising you to get a life.
• Computers should come equipped with some sort of virtual sodium pentothal that prevents people from blatantly misrepresenting themselves on eharmony, Match.com and other dating websites.
• If you are married and you try to contact an old boyfriend on Facebook, an ominous stick-figure of someone playing with fire should appear and warn you that you’re about to ruin your life.
• If you attempt to forward an email chain letter, a hand should reach out from your keyboard and bitch-slap you till you come to your senses. If the letter warns that breaking the chain will result in bad luck, illness or monetary loss, the computer should deliver a quick but intensely painful electric shock.
• On the other hand, I think all email providers should embed in every single email message this video by comedian Merril Markoe. It is a two minute clip (which is entirely in French for no good reason) and shows Markoe faking a heart attack while her dogs look on, sweetly and stupidly oblivious, happily depositing chew toys on her limp and lifeless body. The video is goofy and subversively warmhearted, and if everyone watched it several times every day, the world would be a happier place. Now that computers rule the world, they should be obligated to spread cheer wherever they can. Really, it’s the least they can do.

Editor’s Note: Susan Goldberg is a slightly lapsed treehugger. Although known to overuse paper products, she has the best of intentions – and a really small SUV. Catch her column, The Goldberg Variations, each week here at EcoSalon.

Image: Ed Yourdon

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Necessity, it’s said, is the mother of invention. Small wonder, then, that a new small wonder designed to put computing into the hands of masses has been born in a country with, well, plenty of masses. The government of India has released a prototype tablet computer that it says will sell out of the gate for a mere $35.

The touchscreen tablet can draw solar power and runs on a variation of Linux and has no internal storage, though it’s memory-card ready. On the what-it-does-have-front, those oh-so-few beans will get you a built-in word processor, video conferencing capabilities and, most important, a connection to the internet. Cloud-based computing is a key factor in the device’s low ticket price and compact architecture, as users can access web-based tools and applications through a browser as opposed to programs installed locally on the computer itself.

According to Human Resources Development Minister Kapil Sibal, the device is designed for students and low-income families, and will be made available to 110 million Indian schoolchildren as early as next year. Quoted in the guardian.co.uk, Sibal says, “The solutions for tomorrow will emerge from India. We have reached a stage that today, the motherboard, its chip, the processing, connectivity, all of them cumulatively cost around $35, including memory, display, everything.”

At $35, PCWorld, calls the device “virtually disposable,” in comparing it with the $100 XO computer developed by MIT and used in the One Laptop Per Child program. Who knows, the technology might even one-day give Apple’s $500 iPad a run for its money; India says it’s looking for manufacturing partner to mass-produce the device and eventually push the price down to $10. Yeah, that’s right. $10.

Image: seeveeaar

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Billed as the greenest-of-the-green-tech gadgets, enter the iPad – a blockbuster with staying power, enjoying colossal success beyond its celebrated opening weekend. (Wondering as I write, how long it’ll be before my spell-check passes over “iPad,” as it now does “iPod.”) For the eco-geek, this is great news: An A-level toy in sustainable form. A maker makes good on its promise to be a leader in corporate environmental solid citizenship.

Indeed, there are a lot of reasons for you to feel good about buying the iPad. The much-talked-up tablet features a way-long battery life, an arsenic-free display glass, is free of brominated flame retardants, has no mercury in its LCD display, lacks any PVC and is fitted with a recyclable aluminum and glass enclosure. All this is an articulation of an admirable commitment by Apple that goes far beyond design. Behind the scenes, the company’s approach to its facilities, production, water use, transportation and recycling is as state-of-the-green-art as is its technology.

But not everyone out there is drinking the apple juice. Not at all at ease with yet another massive production demand for an insanely desired electronic device, more than a few watchdogs are looking behind Apple’s green curtain. These folks are drawing attention to yet more precious metals mining, increased supply chain requirements and the device’s energy use over its lifetime. “End-of-life management,” too, is of a great concern for both the iPad itself and the devices that it will no doubt (in many cases needlessly) replace. Just hours, in fact, after Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced the iPad back in January, Greenbiz’s Managing Editor Matthew Wheeland referred to this latest gotta-have as “still another resource-intensive gadget.”

Moreover, the iPad is cloud computing-based, relying on the ever-growing methodology to access videos and music and other forms of data streaming. The rapid growth of this approach requires the construction of places to store vast amounts of data, immense facilities that gobble up tremendous amounts of electricity.

Greenpeace Press Officer Daniel Kessler, writing in The Huffington Post, recently opined: “If we hope to phase out dirty sources of energy to address climate change, then – given the massive amounts of electricity needed in order to run computers, provide backup power and coordinate related cooling equipment that even energy-efficient data centers consume – the last thing we need is for more cloud infrastructure to be built in places where it increases demand for dirty coal-fired power.”

You might say there are bigger enviro-challenges to address than these. Greenpeace and the other hardcore greenies would do better to focus on some of the real uglies out there, including those who portray their products and manufacturing processes as environmentally friendly when they’re truly anything but. But the “radicals” on this issue, as is often the case, have a purpose and an important point to make.

The advent of the iPad begs some real questions to those of us who love new(er) and clever(er) gadgetry, green or otherwise – questions that perhaps we didn’t ask ourselves when we joined the compact disc, cell phone and laptop revolutions. We’re an insatiable culture with an insatiable appetite for progress, particularly high-tech progress, and if we can call it green, well that’s just great. But it’s good – critical, in fact – to keep in mind that (even green) tech progress comes with a price. More stuff means just that – more stuff. And that requires mining, manufacturing, transportation and power. It also means your old stuff has got to go – somewhere. (It’s interesting to note, says Wheeland, that those in the recycling biz adore the iPad almost as much as they adore flat-screened televisions.)

So ask yourself before buying in: Do you need a new device – or do you want a new device? This is not always a simple question, and can require a hard look at a fine line between what truly inspires you and what’s simply a new toy, between charging your creative engine and consumption for its own sake. We’re presented with new options to make our lives easier and more enjoyable every day. Discerning which of these roads to follow – read: purchases to make – is a big issue when considering how well we want to play with our community and our planet.

Image: Robert Scoble

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I’m just a wee bit crazy for all my electronic devices, but all the expensive power they use? Not so much. Solar-powered gadgets are the perfect answer, sucking energy from the sun instead of money from my pocketbook. Here are five of my favorites:

YAYA Power Solar Portable Charger

Perfect for charging cell phones, iPods, video games, and other electronic devices, this baby is definitely something you want to keep in your handbag for emergency charges. It has its own solar panel to draw juice from the sun, but on cloudy days you can can still recharge devices with it via your car’s cigarette lighter or a USB port on your computer.

Ripe Radish Solar Energy Lawn Lamp

How cool is this? Forget those boring black, plastic solar pathway lights. Nab a batch of these solar lamps that collect power during the day and glow red an night The center is a hollow flowerpot perfect for holding young radish plants. If there’s a cuter way to light your lawn, I haven’t seen it.

Solar LED Address Numbers

These nifty address numbers attach to the front of your home and glow for eight to ten hours each night after collecting energy from the sun. Two LED backlight the number cutouts so they’re easy to read, and the entire affair is made from weather-resistant anodized aluminum so it will last a long time. This gizmo beat numbers glued to a mailbox, hands down.

Voltaic Generator Solar Laptop Charger Bag

I’m in love with this bag. Made from recycled soda bottles, this laptop charger doubles as a computer tote. Solar panels on the outside generate enough power to charge the custom-designed battery pack in only five hours. It includes adapters for laptops, phones and other handheld devices, and can even be configured to adapt to the unique MagSafe port on a MacBook. The charger bag may not be much to look at, but functionality, it is to die for.

Solar Bluetooth Car Speaker

Forget fiddling with those goofy-looking Bluetooth cell phone ear pieces, slap this puppy on your windshield and chat on speakerphone. This car kit features call waiting, voice dialing, redial, and more. It stores 200 phone numbers and has a built-in rechargeable battery that provides up to 14 hours of talk time – perfect for those extra long car trips.

Image: david.nikonvscanon

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FarmVille is the green place to be for city folk reaping the rewards of rural relationships and cooperation through good, clean social gaming.

The hugely popular farming sim has my friends and family bragging on Facebook about a season of planting cash crops, helping neighbors grow lettuce instead of lawns and finding new homes for lost little duckies. It quacks me up!

The strategy of the Zynga grainchild: The user is given the chance to start their own farm, build it out and move up in levels.

After they have plowed the land and their crops are ripe for picking, they harvest the food and sell it for cash to buy new crops. Other ways to get money include helping friends with their farms or sending free gifts to friends, such as trees and farm animals.

“This is a good game because it’s not superficial where you are going out and buying clothes or houses like in other virtual games,” says my 13-year-old daughter, an avid fan who set up a farm for her 10-year-old sister in recent weeks planting eggplants, soybeans and strawberries. “You’re building crops and helping neighbors with their crops and in the coming years, it will really come down to that.”

My teen, now at level 7,  finds FarmVille lets her and her Facebook friends associate a fun game with something not product-based, and that it helps train her generation to think green.

That’s the main reason an employer in Minneapolis, Minn. set up a real organic farm as a playground and work perk for his employees. His concept is a hit as the Haberman public relations team clocks time hoeing and raking after hours.

You don’t get points with your boss for playing FarmVille so my cousin, Alan Finkelstein, plays in his spare time when he’s off work. He’s at the top of the heap with an impressive level 31. He’s a god in his neck of the woods. You don’t get to level 31 without logging some serious computer time.

“Okay, FarmVille police, I was forced to play, they kidnapped me and made me play,” Alan jests, defending his highly-coveted acreage. “I do notice more things in the world that are related to farms than I used to prior to playing.”

Alan says he gave it a go when a friend was playing and really loved it. He finds the game makes him more aware of things associated with farming and holds a “zen quality” for the L.A. journalist, husband and Facebook fanatic.

“I like to strategize, collect, plan, design, steal other folk’s designs, send gifts to friends, receive gifts from friends, and having to be patient in growing my own farm,” he says. “My cousins say to me, ‘Dude, your farm is amazing and thanks for sending me the horses’ and it’s nice to have that interaction.”

Del Monte should only have such interaction. This sim is clearly a brand of socialism Americans can get behind.

According to Virtual Worlds News, FarmVille has gained over 1 million new players per week since its June 19 launch, and currently boasts more than 11 million daily active users.

Apparently, that’s the total achieved by lead designer Mark Skaggs over his entire career with Electronic Arts where he designed other strategy games such as Command & Conquer and The Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth. He says FarmVille will probably break records, largely because he’s keeping it fresh.

“One of the really fun and successful features we added is what we call the ‘Lonely Cow’ feature,” Skaggs told VWN. “You can help find it a home, then somebody claims it. You’ll get a brown cow instead of the white cow you had before. Then you milk the brown cow and you get chocolate milk! That’s a ‘moment of delight,’ totally unexpected but cool.”

We once felt that same moment of delight when competitors landed on those high-priced blue properties we monopolized – Park Place and Boardwalk – and had to fork over big bucks for encountering our big, red hotels.

I much prefer a society that works together to land big red barns, sustainable crops and organic chocolate milk. As my wise daughter said, it will really come down to that.

Main Image: Sabrina.dent

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