What is up with all the cyber bullying these days? Can’t we all just get along?

As a blogger, I’ve been through it. Anonymous people heaping on the negativity as if what they say doesn’t hurt. Luckily, I write about health for the most part, so my writing is less polarizing and the comments are less dramatic. The majority of people are in fact delightful, but there are those shining few who leave a stain on your day. Are these anonymous comments an acceptable form of cyber bullying?

A Pew Research Study found that 25 percent of people admit to posting comments online anonymously and one researcher out of the University of Houston found that such anonymity contributes to less civil discourse.

I acquaint it to when you’re sitting in traffic and in a heat of road rage, you lay on the horn for the elderly women who just pulled out in front of you. You wouldn’t scream at a grandma if you were face to face, but somehow the anonymity of your car makes losing your temper acceptable. It’s similar online. In fact, one study found that 53 percent of comments were uncivil if newspapers allowed commenters anonymity. When newspapers required names or links to Facebook or other social networks, that number dropped to 29 percent.

“I think people are also much more inclined to comment about something if they have a complaint. Sometimes it’s the only way you feel that you can be heard, so it winds up feeling like online comment sections are filled with negativity,” said Shayla Thiel-Stern, a professor of new media and culture at the University of Minnesota on CBSLocal.

Negative comments generally come from a small group with a loud voice.

“I don’t think we’re getting meaner as a society,” Thiel-Stern said. “I think social media emphasizes some of that meanness.”

Anonymous comments tend to be angrier, according to another study, which found that frequent venting on the internet leads to subsequent increases in anger, rather than decreases. Those who frequently rant online are significantly more angry than the norm and those who read the rants are also less happy.

According to vlogger ZE Frank, it takes more potential energy to leave comments and as a result, those comments are often laced with polarizing opinion.

Have you ever left a vicious anonymous comment online? Would you?

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It’s totally normal for cyberstalker tendencies to flare up occasionally, especially post break-up. But if your dirt-digging skills are so refined Olivia Pope’s demanding you become a Gladiator, it might be time to re-evaluate.

Because the term “cyberstalker” makes us feel like we’re one step closer to becoming a bunny boiler, many of us hide in our proverbial closet, laptop in hand, scanning for the latest news on our crushes, boyfriends, or exes (or all three).

“Once we begin to check another person’s profile compulsively, the need to re-check grows stronger, especially after finding information that’s of great interest,” says psychotherapist and relationship expert Kimberly Moffit. This inevitably leads to an addiction to online stalking – and the more we avoid admitting to the habit, the stronger our inner cyberstalker gets.

“Dan Wagner of Harvard University describes this as an ‘ironic process,’” says Emma Seppala, Ph.D., Associate Director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University. “When we attempt to resist a certain action, the effort can easily backfire under stress. In the realm of the mind, what we resist persists.” (Crap.)

Whether you’re insecure about your relationship, determined to prove your instincts right, or just plain obsessed with your ex’s new life, let’s face it ladies: there are times when our actions deserve a face palm, am I right? “I hear from many women who are astounded and embarrassed at their own behavior,” says relationship expert April Masini.

6 Ways To Pump The Breaks on Online Stalking

If you’d like to kick your cyberstalker habit for good, try these tips on for size:

1. Make the decision to change. Most women who get in touch with Masini about online stalking aren’t just uncomfortable about their behavior, they feel terrible about what they’re doing. Once you’ve decided to change, forgive yourself for cyberstalking and purpose to put the behavior behind you.

2. Stop cyberstalking immediately. “You may feel anxiety or even panic at first, but this is just a sign of withdrawal,” says Moffit. “Checking simply leads to more checking.” Don’t set a date or write in your journal about it: just stop being a cyberstalker.

3. Check-in with yourself. Try and figure out the underlying reasons why you’re engaging in online stalking: What void is it filling? “Isolating the reason why you might be insecure, lonely, or bored will give you more insight into your own behaviors,” says Moffit.

4. Build new habits. Breaking the cyberstalker cycle takes practice. “If you’ve built a habit of looking at your ex’s Facebook profile first thing in the morning, you’ll have to create a new habit – in particular, a self-care habit,” says Seppala. “Focus on creating habits that make you feel deeply nurtured.” You’ll be less likely to look for happiness outside of yourself or in self-destructive ways.

5. Reward yourself. Every day you don’t engage in this online stalking, reward yourself in some way. Use the time you’d normally spend as an undercover cyberstalker to accomplish healthy goals, such as fixing up your apartment or going for a run.

6. Be cyberstalk-worthy. “Some women try to make their own profiles seem more happy and interesting as a way of getting their target’s attention,” says Moffit, “But what could be better than actually being happy?” When you’re leading a meaningful, satisfying life, not only won’t you want to cyberstalk, but you won’t have time to!

How do you deal with your inner cyberstalker?

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