If you’ve ever blown off sending a thank you note, you are not alone. Master the task and cast your shame aside for good.

You know you should. Your Mother told you to do it. Your intentions are good. But you always seem to drop the ball on thank you notes.

Join the club.

Other than birthday cards or notes to Grandma, most of us are not big on hand written notes these days. Even email is taking a back seat to other forms of instant communication.

The written letter may be a lost art. But you know what’s still hot and always will be? Hand written thank you notes.

There is something impersonal and even inadequate seeming about a thank you email. And thank you texts? Letitia Baldrige would have hit the hizzy on those, for sure.

In order to properly thank someone, going old school is an absolute must. As in, pen and paper.

4 Tips to Thank You Note Perfection

1 Card Stock // Having thank you note essentials on hand means no procrastinating and timely thanking. Fire those babies out rapid speed (like, when you get home from the party, interview, what have you) to avoid future self-shaming over not getting someone thanked. This is as simple as stocking up on pretty note cards and stamps. One more thing: If you have blown off the thank you for what seems an embarrassing amount of time, send it anyway. Truly, better late than never.

2 Details, Details // Generic thank you notes are not only boring, they border on rude. A personalized note speaks volumes. Mention the event and something you spoke about, talk about the gift and how you will use it, tell them that you are looking forward to seeing them at a specific time and place in the future. A little charm goes a long way here.

3 Short Hand // Writing not exactly your favorite pastime? We are not taking a four page letter here. That blank note card still staring up at you? This is where a template may come in handy. No, it’s not cheating. Even those of us who love to write need prompting sometimes. Experts in all things communicado, Hallmark has a handy dandy template just for, you guessed it, writing the best ever thank you notes.

4 Seal the Deal // Yes, a thank you note is often fitting even if you’ve thanked in person. A follow up thank you note is suitable post job interview, when someone has thrown a party in your honor, when you receive a gift not in the presence of the giver, etc. If Mom gives you a bundt cake or close friends have you to dinner every other weekend, forgoing a formal note is probably acceptable. Tip: When in doubt as to whether to send a note, send the note.

Related on EcoSalon

Modern Day Conundrum: Paper v Email Invites

10 Dinner Party Etiquette Rules, Vintage Style

5 Dead Etiquette Rules That Will Give You a Good Laugh

Image of woman writing note via Shutterstock

The post 4 Tips to Thank You Note Perfection appeared first on EcoSalon.

Etiquette rules used to be the guiding light for hosting. Today they’re just outdated.

A knife should go to the right of your plate, and a fork should go the the left. You should set a table with wine and water glasses. That’s all well and good, but when it comes to etiquette rules, there are plenty of them that we could certainly live without.

Outdated etiquette rules are often sexist in nature – this was after all the time when the hostess did all the work, and the man of the house would simply gather his male counterparts into the lounge for a post-dinner cigar and coffee. We went to the experts to highlight a few that you can feel good about crossing off of your etiquette list.

1. If you’re single, don’t dine at a bachelor’s house, unless of course you’re a career-woman

This one is proof of how sexist etiquette rules can be. Oh the horror of having the “appearance of evil!”

“Social conventions can do very little to protect a girl really bent on getting into difficulties. In this case, a girl not out of her teens would do better to avoid [dinner at a bachelor’s] unless others, considerably more mature than she, are present. A career girl, from her twenties onward, can accept such an invitation but should not stay beyond ten or ten-thirty. An old rule and a good one is ‘Avoid the appearance of evil.'” – The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette, 1952

2. You must, absolutely must, get some expert, hired staff

I mean, who would dream of hosting a dinner with just your regular staff?

“Just as it is better to hire a professional dinner-party cook than to run the risk of attempting a formal dinner with your own Nora or Selma unless you are very sure she is adequate, in the same way it is better to have a professional waitress as captain over your own, or a professional butler over your own inexperienced one, than to have your meal served in spasms and long pauses.” – Emily Post, 1922

3. Don’t pay any attention at all to what your guests are eating

These days, I think we’re all better off being aware of what everyone at the table is eating and what they are enjoying; how else are you going to know what to serve them next time?

“Having once taken your seat at table, you have nothing to do with the dinner but to partake of it. Not a word, or even a glance, will a well-bred hostess bestow upon the servants, nor will she speak to the guests of the dishes. Their choice rests between themselves and the waiters, and you must take no notice of what they eat, how much, or how little. Nay, should they partake of one dish only, you must ignore the fact.” – The Ladies’ Book of Etiquette, Florence Hartley, 1860

4. Whatever you do, don’t talk about politics, or anything that will bore someone

Wait, isn’t a good political discussion the kind of thing that makes a great dinner party? Not according to Lady Constance Howard in the July 6th, 1895 issue of Home Chat. “Two topics of conversation are best avoided— religion and politics; and the hostess who possesses tact will not discuss music or painting with persons who have no taste for either.

5. Calling ahead to figure out what kind of flowers the hostess likes

I think we can all agree that a nice bottle of wine is way more useful than sending flowers.

“At a formal dinner, don’t show up with a bunch of cut flowers because the hostess and staff will be too preoccupied to arrange them. Instead it’s thoughtful to call your hostess several days before the dinner to say you’d like to send her flowers and to ask what ware a few of her favorites as well as her preference in color.” The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette, 1952

Related on EcoSalon

10 Dining Etiquette Rules Vintage Style

10 Fashion Etiquette Blunders

Ask Foodie Underground: Dinner Party Etiquette and Foodie Couture Wings

Image: Cardboard Antlers

The post 5 Dead Etiquette Rules That Will Give You a Good Laugh appeared first on EcoSalon.

Some hilarious, but still-appropriate vintage etiquette rules to improve your dinner parties.

Just how do you properly host a dinner party? There was a time when throwing a dinner party meant more than sending a mass text to your girlfriends, asking them to bring the wine and cheese. While casual is all well and good, who doesn’t want some serious dining etiquette once in awhile?

There are volumes of books written on the subject, but here are ten items of vintage etiquette that make for a perfect dinner party. Bon appetite!

1. Choose your guests wisely
“Be careful in selecting the guests for a dinner party. Remember that conversation will be the sole entertainment for several hours, and if your guests are not well chosen, your dinner, no matter how perfect or costly the viands, will prove a failure. The most agreeable dinners are those whose numbers will allow all the guests to join in a common conversation, and where the host has spirit and intelligence to take the lead, and start a new subject when the interest in the old one begins to flag.” – The Ladies’ Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness, Florence Hartley, 1860

2. Don’t you dare invite people with a text message
Invitations to the company informal dinner are usually phoned or are given by word of mouth, and, of course, may be extended by informals or calling cards… The hostess always tenders the invitation. On occasion, for convenience’s sake, her husband may do so in her name, where close friends are concerned.” – Amy Vanderbilt, 1952

3. Never, ever break a dinner party engagement
“Dinner invitations must be answered immediately; engraved or written ones by return post, or those which were telephoned, by telephone and at once! Also, nothing but serious illness or death or an utterly unavoidable accident can excuse the breaking of a dinner engagement.” – Etiquette, Emily Post, 1922

4. Preparing your table is as important as your food
“The hostess should give as much time and thought to the preparation and arrangement of the table, as she does to the planning of the menu. She will find that her guests will appreciate novel lighting effects, surprising color tones, unusual serving innovations. And she will find that a correctly laid table will add surprisingly to the entire success of her dinner party.” – Today’s Etiquette Volume 2, Lillian Eichler, 1922

5. Before dinner starts, try your best to be interesting
“As the time just before dinner is very apt to be tiresome, you should bring forward all the armor against stupidity that you possess. Display upon tables arranged conveniently about the room, curiosities, handsome books, photographs, engravings, stereoscopes, medallions, any works of art you may own, and have the ottomans, sofas, and chairs so placed that your guests can move easily about the room, or rooms.” – The Ladies’ Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness, Florence Hartley, 1860

6. Make simple food and make it well
“…that your dinner should be of the very best your means will afford; a good plain dinner without pretension, if your income is small, every delicacy of the culinary art, and the wine of the very best if you are blessed with much money. With these three necessities, the hostess may eat her dinner in comfort, secure in the knowledge that the verdict of her guests will be in her favour.” – Lady Constance Howard, 1895

7. Don’t ever test out a new dish for a dinner party
“Typical dinner-party dishes are invariably the temptation no less than the downfall of ambitious ignorance. Never let an inexperienced cook attempt a new dish for company, no matter how attractive her description of it may sound. Try it yourself, or when you are having family or most intimate friends who will understand if it turns out all wrong that it is a “trial” dish.” – Etiquette, Emily Post, 1922

8. Cook seasonally
The Season, naturally, must be considered in planning dinner for guests. Availability of produce and meats, too, is a factor, as is the seasonableness of the weather. Foods with rich sauces are less appetizing in hot weather. In winter a main dish en gelee would seem unsubstantial. – Amy Vanderbilt, 1952

9. Soup should be the first course and you should eat it properly
“Soup is always served for the first course, and it should be eaten with dessert spoons, and taken from the sides, not the tips of them, without any sounds of the lips, and not sucked into the mouth audibly from the ends of the spoon.” – Victorian cookbook, 1890

10. As a guest, don’t insult the food
“Men and women of cultivation rarely make comments on food except to praise. It is better to accept a little of each course on one’s place and eat a bit of it although one does not particularly care for it, than to refuse it entirely.” Today’s Etiquette Volume 2, Lillian Eichler, 1922

Related on EcoSalon:

Vintage Recipe Revamp: Gravy

Foodie Underground: Dinner Party Etiquette

Image: Karen

The post 10 Dinner Party Etiquette Rules, Vintage Style appeared first on EcoSalon.