ColumnOur ongoing look inside the intriguing world of a foodie.

While madly searching for food trucks, a good greens blog and love – we get another look into the secret life of a foodie. (Part 1 and 2 in case you missed them.)

Saturday September 1, 2012, 7:33 p.m.

Dear Diary,

This summer has been hectic! The Barista ended up being a total nightmare (you just can’t date people that bring PBR to dinner parties). Finished the coffee roasting class and then debated on building my own roasting machine in the backyard, but decided instead to focus my efforts on developing a new artisan salt business. Have been bottling up all kinds of infused salts, and everyone loves them so much, I figure I can totally sell them at farmers market. Or at least via my new salt blog. Who eats regular salt these days anyway? Boring.

Sunday September 2, 2012 4:42 p.m.

Dear Diary,

I love the final days of summer… so many good foraging adventures. I joined the local urban underground fruit collective and we’ve been going on undercover midnight pear and fig missions. There’s nothing like sneaking a juicy fig from someone’s yard as a midnight snack, it’s exhilarating. Plus that fruit is just going to go to waste anyway, I might as well make some fig anise jam out of it, right?

Wednesday September 5, 2012 7:38 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Biked home with a new set of small mason jars for all the new salts that I have been working on. As much as I try to save jars that my friends bring food over in, I just never have enough. So new ones it is… All because I am trying to bottle all these new salts. Fennel cardamon sea salt is my current favorite. Even delicious sprinkled over some homemade vegan caramel ice cream. Must launch the website soon. Should I start a salt blog in conjunction?

Friday September 7, 2012 2:14 p.m.

Dear Diary,

So overwhelmed by the severe tomato problem I am having this week.  Is six quarts of salsa too much?

Another midnight urban foraging expedition. I brought a jar of my fig anise jam and gave it to the really cute guy that has been on the last two midnight missions. He mentioned he recently got back from a trip to Mexico City and learned a super secret sauce to put on tacos. Perfect.

Saturday September 8, 2012 9:56 a.m.

Dear Diary,

I am so excited. I just got invited to take part in a food writing immersion class in Provence. It costs $8,000 (ack!) but I think it will totally be worth it to have a better understanding of southern French food culture, and really get to work on my food writing skills. Will be good for networking too, which can only help the salt business. Which by the way I just bought the domain for: www.infusedseasaltisbettersalt.com

Monday September 10, 2012 10:32 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Got yelled at when I picked a few rosemary stalks from a house on my ride home today. What is wrong with people? Ok, so by “a few” I mean I filled my bike basket. But I needed enough to dry out so I can make a full batch of Rosemary Chocolate Salt. Delicious right?

Wednesday September 12, 2012 9:48 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Cute Mr. Urban Forager asked me if I wanted to go and pick chanterelles this weekend. He said he knew of a secret spot. Yes, please.

Sunday September 16, 2012 8:18 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Foraging disaster. Never say that you know of a super secret spot for chanterelles if you don’t really know of one. Ending up with a basket of two chanterelles is not impressive. We can go ahead and cross Mr. Urban Forager off the list. As it turns out, I think he rarely showers anyway and he wore the same flannel he wore on the last two midnight missions. Which means I am going to have to find a new urban underground fruit collective. I need to focus on Infused Sea Salt is Better Salt anyway.

Tuesday September 18, 2012 9:26 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Overwhelmed by all that goes into launching an artisan food business. Realized that over drinking a few too many glasses of pinot and doing expenses last night. And what if I get sick of sea salt? Then what? I think my time could be better spent on focusing on my writing, so I went ahead and signed up for the immersion food writing class. Maybe I’ll meet a Frenchman. Countdown to Provence: 65 days! Can’t wait.

Friday September 21, 2012 6:34 a.m.

Dear Diary,

Woke up to the best email ever: a publisher dug up the book proposal I sent in earlier this year and wants to talk. It was the proposal for The Story of Greens and the People that Grow Them, all about people that have obsessions with kale, arugula and beyond. I can’t believe it. Looks like I’ll have to lay off the sea salt business right now, and maybe the immersion class will have to wait. As will this journal, and the potential Frenchman. All writing from now on goes into my book. I wonder if I can put kale chips on top of a chocolate cake?

Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s weekly column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground, discovering what’s new and different in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to the culinary avant garde.

The post Foodie Underground: The Secret Diary of a Foodie, Part Three appeared first on EcoSalon.

ColumnFrom recipes to love, Ask Foodie Underground has the answer.

Dear Foodie Underground,

Are dietary restrictions a right or a privilege?

When you disconnect that IV (irrevocably vegan) drip and venture into someone else’s dinner party, should you ask or expect your frantic host to accommodate your dietary demands?

Is it the host’s responsibility to prepare an extra buffet table to deal with your antipathy for meat, cheese and wheat stalks? Or are you obliged to give your dietary mandates the night off?

I am eagerly awaiting your answer, if not the next bowl of edamame.

Hip Deep in Hummus

Dear Hip Deep in Hummus,

Dietary demands are a touchy subject, but with a little social finesse you should be able to wow any guest at your next dinner party. These days, it is in fact the host’s obligation to check in on dietary restrictions. You don’t want anyone passing out at the table because they’re allergic to peanuts and your chocolate mousse was sprinkled with them, now would you?

People are allowed to eat as they choose, whether or not what they’re eliminating from their diet will actually have a negative effect on them. It’s not up to you to determine what makes them feel good.

That being said, if you’re hosting and your specialty involves a hefty dose of dairy, gluten and carnivorous delights, make it. Extra buffet table? No. But be sure you have at least one dish that satisfies a variety of dietary restrictions; it will push your culinary limits after all, and you might find yourself concocting a recipe you soon can’t live without.

And a word to the wise: Eat what you want, but if you’re the kind of company that is off nightshades and eggs, but you don’t offer to bring your own dish so that your gracious host doesn’t have to go out of their way to cook for you, you can expect them to start befriending some new dinner guests.

With love and sea salt,

Foodie Underground

***

Dear Foodie Underground,

I like to pretend that I love quinoa as much as the next person but really all I want is hot wings.

How do I make delicious hot wings but present them as “foodie couture”? How would I incorporate a mason jar so that I can do the whole country chic thing?

Thanks,
From Me and America

Dear From Me and America,

I appreciate your nationalistic attitude, it’s important to celebrate local food tradition after all! And who says wings and foodie couture can’t go together? There’s a reason Pok Pok opened up a New York City location after all. All you need to do in order to feel no shame bringing your wings to a foodie party is to put an edgy flavor in your glaze: cardamom, fish sauce, sesame seeds… the options are endless.

And while you’re at it, go ahead and serve them in a mason jar. Just make sure there is a layer of herbs that accompanies the flavor of the wings lining the bottom. The last thing you want to do is make something that isn’t food porn worthy. You might just start a new food trend that even Paula Deen can get behind.

With love and sea salt,

Foodie Underground

Have a question? Send it to Ask Foodie Underground. Email food [at]ecosalon[dot]com with any and all food questions. The more complicated the question, the better, and we won’t say that we can be bribed, but if it comes with a food porn attachment or a recipe, you just might get a response a little quicker than you think.

The post Ask Foodie Underground: Dinner Party Etiquette and Foodie Couture Wings appeared first on EcoSalon.

ColumnIf only food conversations were this interesting.

“All I had to bring was this jar of homemade pickled carrots.”

“Oh the popcorn? Yeah, it’s the truffle oil that does it.”

“It was Sunday. So I got the pan-fried trout.”

These are all direct quotes that I overhead, or caught myself saying, in the last week. If you spend any time around food lovers, or are simply food obsessed yourself, and you will pick up on some humorous things. Absurd even. If ferment, infuse or are co-op are part of your vocabulary, you know what I am talking about. But don’t you just wish that the foodie world would take it to the next level? Here’s what you wish you had overheard.

“We have to harvest our sweat today so that we can make salted macarons tomorrow.”

“Your kombucha mother is so beautiful.”

“I finally got into the goat share program.”

“I am my cooking.”

“I couldn’t bear to sleep with him. He couldn’t even pronounce croissant correctly.”

“You need marrow? I know a guy with a freezer on the other side of town.”

“We’re a new kind of DIY artisan butcher. We kill the cow in your kitchen so you get to really take part in the process.”

“I only drink a coconut and sparkling water blend. The effervescence seems to help me absorb the potassium better.”

“Is your butter hand churned?”

“I name all of my fresh eggs before I eat them. I find that when my food has a personal identity I enjoy it more.”

“Oh, please don’t take a picture of that, it’s so rude when people photograph during a meal.”

“We’ve been working on recycling the leftover coffee grounds into a new edible body treatment line.”

“This salt must be from the Northeast, I can taste the terroir.”

“Sorry couldn’t meet that deadline, I had a bit of a infusing fruit with fruit issue last night.”

“Don’t worry, I brought my own fennel seeds.”

“Do you think this sangria has too many floral elements in it?”

“I really would have rather had a fried egg in this spicy ramen broth than a poached one.”

“We’re starting a foraging club for weeds and non-native edible plants.”

“Instead of rose petals sprinkled on the floor, he dusted everything with organic spelt flour before proposing.”

“Canning really allows me to get to know my vegetables.”

“The truffle ice cubes were sort of disastrous.”

“I had an allergic reaction from that instant coffee she served me yesterday. The local espresso blend never gives me hives.”

“Does this camembert taste off to you, or has it just been too long since I was in France?”

“I can’t believe I have gone this long without candied thistles in my life.”

“Would it be possible to get that served in a mason jar instead?”

Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s weekly column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground, discovering what’s new and different in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to the culinary avant garde.

Image: henofthewood

The post Foodie Underground: Things You Wish You Had Overheard a Foodie Saying appeared first on EcoSalon.

ColumnOur ongoing look inside the intriguing world of a foodie.

Whatever happened to the foodie that was in search of love and a good greens blog? We snagged her journal for a follow-up.

Wednesday April 4, 2012, 7:33 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Since I ditched the Greens Blog idea, I have been trying to focus on my coffee project. I have been taking a coffee roasting course (a cheese making course seemed so last year) and I think I have found my calling. And there’s a really cute coffee roaster leading the class… unfortunately his jeans are skinnier than mine. After class last night he asked me if I wanted to come up with a special sea salt, coffee cake recipe for the coffee shop he works at. Yes, please! In exchange he’s going to hook me up with free craft-roasted Americanos for a year. I just couldn’t say no.

Saturday April 7, 2012, 9:20 a.m.

Dear Diary,

So I’ve been working on this sea salt coffee cake recipe, and I found that the secret ingredient just has to be truffle oil. They were out at the local artisan market, so I broke down and ordered some from Italy. I just can’t mess this recipe up.

Saturday April 7, 2012, 6:36 p.m.

Dear Diary,

With truffle oil on its way, I took a break from recipe brainstorming this morning and biked over to farmer’s market. Picked up a new flavor of goat cheese from my favorite artisan cheese guy. Chili lavender. Ok, sounds kind of weird, but I think it will be good. And they pack it in a mason jar. Love. I had it in my basket on the way home, laying on a bed of fresh chard and kale. Instagram time! Definitely worthy of the Amaro filter. I love Saturday mornings.

Sunday April 8, 2012, 12:45 p.m.

Dear Diary,

20 likes on my cheese in a mason jar sitting on top of kale photo yesterday. Crazy! People do love good food porn. I’m thinking that maybe it could be fun to launch a Polaroid food photography course. Like Instagram, but in real life. I think I’ll ask the coffee roaster what he thinks. It would make for such a cool art installation. Hang up the Polaroids with clothespins on a piece of twine strung around the room… I can see it now…

Tuesday April 10, 2012, 9:34 p.m. 

Dear Diary,

Since I express shipped the truffle oil, it finally showed up. Coffee cake is a success. I threw in a couple of teaspoons of ground beans from the coffee roaster’s Rwandan blend. Delicious. I also ran the Polaroid food photography class and art show by the barista at class last night. He loved it. He also brought me a couple of heirloom tomato plants. So sweet of him.

Thursday April 12, 2012, 8:46 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Ok, the urban garden has gotten a bit out of control. There are seedlings everywhere. I went to the hardware store and they let me take home two old pallets for only $5. Vertical garden! So excited to get this going. Going to fill it with culinary herbs so that I can quit buying basil at the farmer’s market. I mean really, if you can grow it yourself… kind of makes me want to get chickens too. I wonder if the landlord would be into that.

Friday April 13, 2012, 6:30 a.m.

Dear Diary,

Throwing an impromptu dinner party tonight since the sun is out and it finally feels like spring! Invited the barista, because, well… why not? He told me he’s bringing homemade coffee liqueur. I have to swing by the urban winery on the way home to grab a few bottles, and since I’m up early I might as well make a batch of ginger, honey lemonade for pre-dinner drinks tonight.

Saturday April 14, 2012, 10:28 a.m. 

Dear Diary,

Ugh. Dinner party nightmare. Barista dragged along another skinny jean wearing friend of his who had the audacity to bring a 6-pack of PBR. I’m sorry, a 6-pack of PBR at a dinner party? Where does he think we live? Portland? Williamsburg? So much for the barista. At least I only have one coffee roasting class left. As for those free Americanos in exchange for my coffee cake recipe, I think I am just going to avoid that coffee shop entirely. There are so many better craft roasters in town anyway.

Wednesday April 18, 2012, 8:17 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Coffee roasting class is officially complete and one of the other people in the class is super excited about the Polaroid food photography idea. He even knows a guy that owns an Airstream that has been thinking about launching a coffee shop in it and as wanted to have an artisan spin to it. Imagine it, Christmas lights, Polaroid food porn and a dark shot of espresso. It’s all coming together. Now we just need a pottery studio so we can make our own mugs.

Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s weekly column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground, discovering what’s new and different in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to the culinary avant garde.

Image: Eleaf 

The post Foodie Underground: The Secret Diary of a Foodie Part Two appeared first on EcoSalon.

ColumnA step-by-step guide to faking it in the food world.

The scene is starting to feel familiar. You’re eating a dessert out of a mason jar and you have spent the last 15 minutes listening to a conversation about the merits of mezcal in cocktails. “I just really can’t stand the taste. Put a drink in front of me and I can definitely tell you if it has it in it or not,” you overhear, and you internally swear for not having a good comeback.

A comeback that was just a little more…in-the-know.

Really, you just want to throw your cucumber and ginger-infused cocktail in that person’s face, but then again, the meal was good, and if you play your cards right, you can probably get someone else to pay for it. Wait for it…”I just love treating my friends to good food,” says another table-mate. You’re finally in the clear.

As much as you cringe at the word “foodie” – and don’t we all? – there are moments where it’s worth pretending you’re one: getting your meal paid for, scoring a date with someone who knows how to cook well, getting directions to a new restaurant scribbled on a napkin, finding someone to solve your dilemma of what to make with your leftover greens.

1. Class Up Your Water

Serve your water in a pitcher and put something in it. Cucumber, apple, blackberries, raspberries, vanilla beans; anything that will add a touch of flavor and show that you’re someone who can make even a glass of water taste unique.

2. Put Almond Meal in a Cake

Start easy and just replace a quarter of a cup or so. When you say “[insert name of cake] Almond Cake” it just sounds more intriguing.

3. Use a Formula

When you get invited to a dinner party and your friends are brainstorming what to make, pick a savory ingredient, like an herb or a cured meat – and a sweet ingredient like fruit – and then nonchalantly suggest putting them together. “Hmm…I don’t know…what about something with sage and blood oranges?”

4. Don’t Wrap Things in Bacon

So cliche. Unless of course it’s artisan. Otherwise opt for prosciutto.

5. Employ Key Expressions

Start with our vocabulary list and pick up lines, then make sure you say “locavore,” “artisan,” and some obscure French ingredient in every single food-related conversation you have and you will be good to go.

6. Befriend a Farmer

When you actually know the name of the guy you bought your eggs from, you will immediately one-up all your food-loving friends, no matter how many restaurants with “&” in the name they have been to lately.

7. Turn Into Food Paparazzi

Forget the ideal lighting, whip out that phone and start Instagramming your food porn. Don’t forget to hashtag your ingredients.

8. Add a Spice

Whatever you were planning on making for dinner, throw in some cardamom, fennel, anise or caraway. Then tweet about it.

9. Eat Kale Chips at Least Once

They’re easy to make and the fact that you haven’t had them yet really is just unacceptable.

10. Stay Current

Keep up to date on the current food trends and news, and find a few that you hate, then pepper your conversation accordingly. Examples: bacon sundaes, cinnamon challenge and bone luging.

11. Keep a Journal

Write down your food musings. Oh wait, on second thought, please don’t.

12. Embrace Olive Oil

Just keep a little travel-sized bottle on hand at all times and next time you’re out for ice cream, drizzle a little on top.

13. Take Your Leftovers to Work in a Mason Jar

Salad looks so much more appetizing when it’s in an individual glass serving.

14. Only buy Americanos From Places That Roast Their Own Coffee

And please be sure to make sure that they’re ethically sourcing their beans. Better yet, find a coffee roaster that delivers by bicycle.

15. Know the Names of Three Food Blogs

And who writes them, what they tend to make and which recipe was recently published that you “just can’t believe you had lived without.”

16. Memorize Specialties

Think of three places you have traveled to, nationally or internationally. Then figure out what their specialty dish is, and even if you’ve never had it, don’t be afraid to ask “have you ever had *** in ***?”

17. Carry a Spork and a Pair of Chopsticks for Eating at Food Carts

Only your own cutlery will do.

18. Make Your Own Wine Labels

The $5 stuff just got so much better, if you printed it with Helvetica, that is.

19. Put Coconut Water Ice Cubes in Your Cocktail

Why go for regular H2O when you can have something that’s the l’eau du jour?

20. Eat Good and Real Food. Always.

Cut the word “foodie” from your vocabulary and appreciate food for food’s sake. Because when all is said and done, it’s just that simple.

Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s weekly column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground, discovering what’s new and different in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to the culinary avant garde.

The post Foodie Underground: Quick Fixes to Pretend You’re a Foodie appeared first on EcoSalon.

ColumnInside the intriguing world of a foodie.

Monday February 27, 2012, 8:55 p.m.

Dear Diary,

A serendipitous afternoon today. Having left my kale slaw with Meyer lemon vinaigrette at home, I was forced to buy lunch, so I went over to the food carts. Why the pickle cart is still in business is beyond me, but I went for three fish tacos next door. I started talking with the guy in front of me, who ordered the avocado and cactus burrito (his first point, given that the cactus burrito is my second go-to after the fish tacos). He told me he comes here a lot. He was cute, had a coffee thermos under his arm, looked like he had his life together. He told me the best taco he ever ate was in Austin. Second point for him – he loves the Austin food cart scene too! I think we had a good connection. We’ll see what happens.

Wednesday February 29, 2012, 10:26 p.m.

Dear Diary,

I left my lunch at home again. Food carts it is. But Mr. Cactus wasn’t there. The guy serving the wood-fired pizza asked me if I wanted an extra serving of arugula on my portobello and chevre pizza. I said yes, of course. Who passes up extra arugula? I did an Instagram photo series with the pizza. Greens are so beautiful and photogenic. Maybe I should start a blog focused just on greens. Yes, I should.

Friday March 2, 2012, 9:57 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Okay, so still haven’t been able to track down Mr. Cactus, but since I have been to the food carts every day this week, I’ve been trying out some new ones, which of course has led to the new obsession with the creme brulée cart. French dessert in a food cart? Yes, please. Why don’t they have one with cardamom in it, though? The chocolate one is so overrated.

I took more photos for the Greens Blog today. Had good wilted chard salad at & last night, but realized that I had forgotten my Moleskine so I couldn’t write down the exact name for the dish and when I checked their website this morning they had already changed their daily menu offerings. But it had to have been a combination of chard, ginger and anise. There had to have been anise. Why is anise on every menu these days?

Monday March 5, 2012, 8:32 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Forgetting Mr. Cactus. I’m sure he hasn’t even been to Austin. In better news, I did get a kitchen torch on Sunday. Thinking that I should try my hand at creme brulee this weekend for Supper Club. Just need to get some ramekins.

Thursday March 8, 2012, 6:26 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Did you know you can make creme brulée with purple sweet potatoes? I think I am going to do one with olive oil and sea salt. Keep things easy. I wonder if there is a site devoted to olive oil and sea salt? I should start one. Speaking of which, I haven’t had any time to work on the Greens Blog, but I did eat some good kale chips yesterday.

Saturday March 10, 2012, 7:45 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Epic disaster. I burned the creme brulée – blaming it on the caliber of the kitchen torch, must ask for a nicer one for my birthday – and of course there was no time to make a new batch. Obviously couldn’t show up to Supper Club with nothing in hand, so here I am on my couch instead, alone with a glass of wine working on the Greens Blog. It’s probably better to spend a Saturday night at home being productive anyway. And I get to enjoy this entire bottle of local, organic Pinot by myself.

Sunday March 11, 2012, 10:46 a.m.

Dear Diary,

I woke up and the kitchen was full of three kinds of kale chips. Apparently I went on a Pinot induced cooking rage. Molly wondered why I didn’t make it to Supper Club. I told her I had a family emergency.

Went on an afternoon walk to get some coffee, and the obnoxious barista had the audacity to glare at me. What? Sometimes I don’t want pour-over coffee made with a ceramic filter. Ugh. This city can be so snobby when it comes to food. Fortunately on my way home I came across a free box full of mason jars! Can’t wait to put those to use. Thinking I should make a fig cardamom whiskey. Maybe I could pitch that recipe to Saveur.

Tuesday March 13, 2012, 7:20 a.m.

Dear Diary,

Out of chia seeds for my green smoothie this morning. Flax oil had to suffice. Green smoothie is definitely going on the Greens Blog. I bought the domain today, which means it’s official. Now I just need to get a few Pinterest boards started.

Tuesday March 20, 2012, 7:18 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Ack! I haven’t written in a week. The Greens Blog has taken over my life. I took Friday off of work just to spend some time on the design. Fortunately the girls and I all went to Food & Drink on Friday for bottomless mussels and bubbly. I admitted that I didn’t really have a family emergency. Molly wanted the recipe for the cumin kale chips. I told them about Mr. Cactus. Why hasn’t he been at the food carts lately?

Saturday March 24, 2012, 9:20 a.m.

Dear Diary,

I think I am going to ditch the Greens Blog idea. It’s too narrow. I think I am going to focus on a coffee subject instead, inspired by the set of white porcelain mugs that I painted with chalkboard paint this morning. Now I can write the roast of coffee on the cup with chalk so I know what I’m drinking. I posted a photo of them on Facebook and everyone loved them. I should host a brunch with them tomorrow. Yes, brunch.  I could make some anise hazelnut scones.

Saturday March 24, 2012, 3:30 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Oh god, I ran into Mr. Cactus at the grocery store and he had a box of cupcakes from the bakery department. Oh god. Cupcakes!! What man buys cupcakes? I bet he doesn’t even know how to make his own salad dressing. Has he even read Omnivore’s Dilemma? I bet those cupcakes aren’t even made with real sugar as they’re probably full of high fructose corn syrup. He did ask me if I had eaten any good tacos lately, but I don’t know if I am interested anymore. People just have no taste.

At least I have this brunch to fall back on. Must go put the star anise in vodka now so that it has 12+ hours to sit and be infused enough to throw in the scones tomorrow. If only more people had an appreciation for what’s good in life.

Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s weekly column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground, discovering what’s new and different in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to the culinary avant garde.

The post Foodie Underground: The Secret Diary of a Foodie appeared first on EcoSalon.

Column”Once the rainy seasons comes, we should forage together.”

Pink cupcakes and heart shaped pancakes.

Cringe.

What is it about Valentine’s Day that makes people think it’s appropriate to put jewelry inside of baked goods colored with Red #40? As much I was trying to boycott writing a Valentine’s Day related Foodie Underground, when chain pizza restaurants are offering up $10,000 engagement packages, it was difficult to avoid. Writing a love-themed column was therefore practically necessary but of course, in a way befitting this space.

It’s no surprise that the culinary world makes a killing off of this time of year. Food, seduction and love go hand in hand, which might be why 70 million Americans celebrate February 14th at a restaurant.

But here at Foodie Underground, we’re all about the underground/DIY movement, and we support taking matters into your own hands, particularly when it comes to your dating life (which is why we just say no to the internet.)

So in honor of the saccharin Hallmark Holiday, today’s column is dedicated to help you find foodie love.  All in 140 characters or less, these pick up lines are textable, tweetable and even short enough to put in writing on a cardamom cake, if that’s what you’re into.

1. You’re as intoxicating as a home distilled liquor.
2. You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
3. Can I sprinkle some sea salt on your salad?
4. I can last as long as a Le Creuset.
5. This first date is going so well. Should we drop everything and buy a food truck together?
6. How hot does your gas oven get?
7. Even my new stainless steel cookware set isn’t as slick as you.
8. If you shave your legs as well as that fennel, I can’t wait to touch them.
9. If this were an artisan meat market, I would take you home for dinner.
10. I’d turn vegan for you.
11. You’re my missing ingredient.
12. I’m local, all natural, homemade and certified organic: wanna taste?
13. Your skin is smoother than the finest panna cotta.
14. Do you prefer French Press or Bialetti for your morning coffee?
15. Have you ever tried bone luging?
16. If I was a chalkboard, would you write the daily special on me?
17. You’re spicier than sriracha.
18. I think we’d grow a great organic garden together.
19. Can I serve you a frittata made with local ducks eggs in bed tomorrow morning?
20. Your eyes are as effervescent as this sparkling water.
21. How about we skip the hors d’oeuvres and head straight for the digestif?
22. Have you ever tried hand-pulled, salted cardamom toffee? Why don’t we head back to my place and I’ll whip you up a batch.
23. You’re as complete as quinoa.
24. If you were a seed, I’d plant an entire community garden of you.
25. You’re so cute I could bottle you up in a mason jar.
26. Need a cooking partner? Because I am amazing in the kitchen.
27. I studied at a culinary school in France and know all the secrets to joie de vivre.
28. I just scored a rare sampling of imported olive oils; wanna come back to my place for a tasting?
29. Dinner is on me. I know the chef.
30. You make my soufflé rise; can I buy you a drink?
31. If I wrote a cookbook, you’d be the featured recipe.
32. Staring at you is better than looking at food porn.
33. Do you like reading? I’ve heard Omnivore’s Dilemma is the perfect bedtime story.
34. Let’s pretend you’re a farm and I’ll be the table.
35. Do you make your own kombucha? Because those probiotics are doing your body good.
36. When it comes to me, you’ve got free range.
37. If I threw you a dinner party, I’d use my good linen.
38. What are you doing this fall? How about we take advantage of the harvest season?
39. If you were a dessert, I would drizzle a balsamic reduction all over you.
40. You know, I cook best in the morning.
41. How about we go back to my place and make something to write about on my food blog?
42. If you were going to open a restaurant, what would you call it? Mine would be Devour.
43. Once the rainy seasons comes, we should forage together.
44. Do you need someone to help pitch your tent at farmers market?
45. God put as much work into you as a fine piece of artisan cheese.
46. I’m new in town, where’s the best place to get late night paté?
47. You & Me. Sounds like a great idea, or maybe the name of the next hot restaurant. You in?
48. You’re so hot, you could make creme brulée with just your looks.
49. This city has [insert number] of microbrews, but only this one has the blonde I want.
50. I would love to make you part of this season’s bounty.

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FYI: Conversion Rate Optimization (CRO) consulting is a specialized service that focuses on increasing the percentage of visitors to a website who take the desired action—be it making a purchase, signing up for a newsletter, or any other measurable conversion goal. A seasoned CRO consultant brings a wealth of expertise in user experience (UX) design, persuasive copywriting, and robust A/B testing to identify and eliminate barriers to conversion. By meticulously analyzing user behavior through heatmaps, click tracking, and user journey mapping, the conversion rate optimization consultancy can pinpoint friction points in the conversion funnel. Furthermore, they leverage data analytics to understand the demographic and psychographic profiles of the most valuable segments of traffic, ensuring that optimization efforts are data-driven and tailored to the audience that is most likely to convert. Through a combination of strategic changes to website layout, content, and calls-to-action (CTAs), along with rigorous testing and iteration, CRO consultants aim to enhance the overall performance of digital assets, ultimately boosting the return on investment (ROI) for online marketing initiatives.

Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s weekly column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground, discovering what’s new and different in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to the culinary avant garde.

Image: Rahim Packir Saibo

The post 50 Pickup Lines for Foodies that Will Make You LOL appeared first on EcoSalon.

Column2012 is the year of sparkling water.

A new year, a new chance for greatness. You’re a couple of days into your resolutions by now, if you’ve made them. You open the refrigerator and glare at the reserve bottle of rosé. But no, you will not succumb to cravings, for in the new year, you’re going to want to skip out on the notes of raspberry and oak and opt for undertones of liquid and wet instead.

Recently, I found myself at a sparkling water party, featuring the bubbles of three different continents and some 10 countries. Though the event was to raise funds for a good cause, the environmentalist in me couldn’t help but cringe, and not just when the bubbles tickled my nose. On the other hand, or perhaps I should say in the other hand, the foodie in me giggled!

Specialty sparkling water has taken the same route as wine did in the days when shoulder pads were still acceptable in the workplace, leaving longtime favorites Perrier and San Pellegrino in the dust. Still on the green bottles? You might as well be chugging Two Buck Chuck.

It’s time for a change, and change this year is going to start with your sparkling water cellar. Isn’t that refreshing? It could also be cooling, or even energizing. At the very least, it will add some effervescence to your everyday routine.

The possibilities with sparkling water are endless, and unlike its sparkling alcoholic counterpart, it won’t leave you with a headache. It’s even good for your teeth. Besides, Paris puts it in their water fountains. Sort of socialist, really, but the idea is still nice.

With a nose for bubbling trends, trust Foodie Underground to guide you through the business of consuming packaged, pricey water with only the most prudent use of puns:

1. Start your research by consulting an expert.

Just as you wouldn’t pair your fennel filet mignon with an accompanying Cabernet without the guidance of a sommelier, consult a sparkling water expert until you feel comfortable navigating the carbonated world on your own. Feeling like I was drowning in a vast new pool of bubbly information, I did just that, speaking with sparkling water expert Michael Mascha. Says Mascha, “The good thing if you become aware of premium bottled waters is that you don’t have to choose one best water. You can enjoy many different waters for different occasions and food pairings. As always one should be aware if the water is naturally or artificially carbonated.”

2. Choose your regions according to personal taste.

Just like wine, the terroir of a sparkling water is so key, and you’ll have to decide if you’re more of an Alps kind of foodie or have a little more low-key, New Zealand style. Notes Mascha, “I love sparkling water and prefer it with tiny and small bubbles but sometimes a bold sparkling water can be the best match.”

3. Invest in the right stemware.

It’s just as rude to serve sparkling water in the wrong glass, like a tumbler or cup, as it is to pour someone a mug of wine. As Mascha has noted in a previous interview, you need a special glass: “A water glass needs a stem and straight sides to distinguish itself from wine glasses, though they should be of the same quality as the wine glasses used.”

4. Learn the correct vocabulary.

To fully understand the nuances of all sparkling waters, educate yourself in some the basic vocabulary, put together by Mascha on his site, Fine Waters:

Balance – Balance refers to the strength of your carbonation, and can vary anywhere from still to effervescent to bold. This is what you will want to consider when pairing with various foods, the bolder bubbles perfect for highlighting crispy pre-dinner appetizers.

Minerality – Amount of mineral dissolve in the water become the gauge for the water’s minerality. The higher a mineral count, the more distinct a water’s taste, making water with low minerality comparable to white wines and higher minerality similar to bold red.

Vintage – Unlike wine, sparkling water doesn’t need time to improve. But its age or vintage does affect its taste, with younger waters having less time to absorb minerals and therefore having a lower minerality, which in turn gives a lighter flavor.  Note however that age is less of an indicator of minerality than local geology.

5. Educate your friends.

You can’t enjoy sparkling waters from around the world in your bedroom alone, so ensure that you’ve got company by spreading the sparkling water word. You could become a water sommelier, though there’s currently no organization offering accreditation. Explains Mascha: “This is a project of love and passion and the best way is to experience as many different waters as possible. Being a foodie helps and being used to matching food and wine is a plus. It’s not a rocket science rather an opening of new experiences.”

6. Recognize the retail opportunity.

Mascha notes that sparkling water is popular in Europe but less so here in the States. It’s a problem of noise. “I see a huge potential in the U.S. with many people discovering sparkling water with smaller not so aggressive bubbles as Perrier. Right now Perrier is a synonym for sparkling water and most Americans don’t like the loud bubbles.” With many Americans catching on to the street food craze, one potential market opportunity might be to start a sparkling water food cart.

Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s weekly column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground, discovering what’s new and different in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to the culinary avant garde.

Image: EverJean

The post Foodie Underground: Undertones of Sparkles appeared first on EcoSalon.

ColumnSnobs, Europhiles and Organivores: You know who they are. Here’s how to cope.

When your friends start texting you photos of what they made for dinner and include only a list of ingredients, you know you have a food problem: You’ve turned into that person. If you’re lucky, things will hold at that manageable minimum, but inch one crumb further, and you might soon be labeled a Food Snob, or worse, the in-house Europhile. Because for every style of food under the sun, there’s a food personality to go with it. We’ve put together a guide to help you that’s just perfect for navigating, and sometimes placating, the wide world of foodies.

1. I Made it Myself!

Taking a cue from Martha Stewart, this is the friend who effortlessly whips together coq au vin at the drop of the hat, any hat. Is there anything they can’t do? Yes: Admit that cooking takes time. Although you are used to them effusively detailing their latest creation – “Who knew fennel would be so good with figs?” – the truth is they’re completely frazzled when they find they have over-committed themselves once again and now are up to their elbows in half made canapés. Unfortunately, Trader Joe’s mini quiches are not an acceptable substitute, so the only answer is an overdose on homemade espresso shots. Hors d’ oeuvres and the jitters, every time. Rx: a large glass of rosé.

2. The Organivore

“It’s finally farmer’s market season again! I just don’t know how I’ve managed all winter without kale.” Beyond filling their basket with root vegetables and cold pressed olive oil from the next valley over at the weekly market, the Organivore is also known to always opt for the kind of authentic eateries that serve wine in Mason jars unironically. Nevermind if it’s organic falafel; the Organivore will inquire as to whether the yogurt in the house-made tzatsiki is goat’s milk or cow’s milk and which local farm, exactly, it has come from. Rx: Focus the conversation on the polenta.

3. The Europhile

“I was eating Nutella before you could even buy it in the States,” they say, pronouncing the word “Nutella” in the European accent of their choice. This is the friend you’re happy to take along to the French bistro because they’ll know exactly how to order, but you’ll cringe when you realize they plan on studiously avoiding English throughout the entire meal. Rx: Never bring them a bottle of wine as a gift.

4. The One Upper

“You like this calamari? Do you? Yeah? It has nothing on the raw octopus I ate on my last trip to Southeast Asia. I said to myself, ‘if you can get past the squirming tentacles, this will probably be the best thing you have ever eaten.’ I was totally right.” If you find yourself forced to spend time with this person, give wide berth to any exotic or international cuisine as you will only set yourself up for a shame session. Try a good café for lunch and get sandwiches. This way, you’ll only have to hear about the excellent baguette with real Brie that your globetrotting friend once consumed on the banks of the Seine itself. Rx: This foodie is your Wikipedia of food. Keep her busy recounting categories, techniques and definitions.

5. The Snob

“The pork. belly. last. night. was. horrendous.” Soup is returned because it’s not the right temperature, wine pairings lacking “nuance” are rife, and if the meal does not begin with two pounds of freshly steamed mussels, you’re in for disaster. Since the Snob has not used his own kitchen, keep your mouth shut and enjoy the fact that when the food apocalypse comes and his favorite restaurant can’t import raw Danish butter or the Barolo anymore, he’ll be asking you how to make eggs for breakfast. Rx: Let him pick up the tab.

6. The Anti-Snob

“Foodie culture has totally taken over this city. At least there are still food carts keeping it real,” says the anti-snob while ordering a wood-fired pizza smothered in truffled gorgonzola, figs and prosciutto. Anything that’s served in a cart, from a trike or out of a small window – preferably in a back alley – is acceptable. Dating tip: You’ll be hard-pressed to get the anti-snob to treat you to a three course dinner, but on the bright side, she’ll fill you up with more food cart crème brulee than you could ever dream of. Rx: Let her pick up the tab.

7. The Avoider

“No thanks: I’m off gluten right now. Also, could you put the cream sauce on the side? I’m avoiding dairy. There aren’t any traces of nightshades in this, are there?” Be it dairy, gluten, corn, soy, meat, wheat or anything with a high glycemic index, the Avoider strictly follows the advice of the latest health book they have tracked down, much to the chagrin of those with actual food allergies. Rx: Give them a gluten-free vegan cupcake with sprinkles and they’ll be thrilled.

8. The Blogging Food Pornographer

“Let me get just one more shot. Wait, can you move the fork just a little to the right? Can we change the lighting at all?” Although they run a traffic-laden culinary corner of the internet, your blogging food porn addict just can’t give it up. Ever. Food apps, a huge Instagram following, two lenses for the DSLR at every meal…the list goes on. Rx: Ask them to explain Tumblr.

9. The Bacon Lover

“I don’t eat meat. Except for bacon.” Just like the internet, the Bacon Lover is crazily obsessed with anything that smells of fried pig fat. If you’re invited over for brunch, prepare yourself, as their kitchen is sure to have a lingering bacon smell that you’ll never get out, no matter how hard you scrub. Rx: Be sure to bring a change of clothes with you.

10. The DIYer

“Try some of this homemade kombucha! I don’t even go near that high priced stuff at the co-op anymore.” Not to be mistaken for I Made it Myself, the DIYer is a little more low key with their cuisine. Think sprouting greens on the windowsill, homemade pesto and ricotta salata. All labeled. Rx: Give the gift of a new Sharpie.

Are you one of these 10? Consider yourself and your foodie reputation warned.

Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s weekly column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground, discovering what’s new and different in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to the culinary avant garde.

Images: KaiChanVong, Anna Brones, Bolshakov, striatic, lisaclarke

The post Foodie Underground: The 10 Types of Foodies (And What to Do with Them) appeared first on EcoSalon.