Your inner critic is screaming. We give others a break for one thing and then hate ourselves for that very same quality. So often, the lies we tell ourselves are detrimental not only to our success but to our overall happiness. The first step is catching yourself before the damage is done.

Your Inner Critic: 7 Hurtful Lies We Tell Ourselves

1. She’s better than me.

I’m guilty of it and it’s one of the most counterproductive lies you can tell yourself. Judging your insides with someone else’s outsides. You don’t know how other people feel or if they’re happy but even still, you’re judging your own achievements but what others around you appear to have. Don’t compare, it causes despair.

2. Past mistakes are causing me not to have success today.

Whatever you strive for in life, let go out your past mistakes. Realize that you learned from them and they took you where you are today. Living in the past will never bring you happiness in the present.

3. That third drink is no big deal.

You know that three drinks is too much. You’re going to feel guilty tomorrow and think less of yourself. Yet you think this time will be different. It won’t.

4. I’ll start tomorrow.

You can’t meditate today but tomorrow you’ll meditate twice to catch up. Why wait? If you want the benefits of something in your life, start on it today.

5. People will find out I’m not that good.

This is particularly true of women in the workplace. Women often think that they’re surrounded by people who are smarter than them. There’s a fear of their employer “finding out” that they’re not deserving of their position. Quiet your inner critic.

6. I’m completely out of control.

When things get chaotic in life, you may feel like life is completely out of control. In part it is, but there are things that you can do to find success in your little slice of life. First, do one thing at a time. Multi-tasking is a myth which means you’ll just do a poor job on each task. Write a to-do list and check one thing off at a time. Do a little at a time and eventually you’ll feel more in control.

7. I’m alone.

You’re not. We all have shortcomings or perceived shortcomings. We all have periods when we feel worthless and alone. But the reality is we’re all in this together and we’re all going through similar trials and tribulations.

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Authentic happiness comes with good habits and it’s the simple things that can change your life. When life hits you with a set back, go right back to the good habits that brought you happiness and peace in the first place.

Finding happiness and bliss in this life can be difficult with all the distractions that are constantly pulling us off track. But a few simple tried and true methods can change your life.

1. Fake it until your make it.

If you want authentic happiness, act like it. While it seems counterintuitive, it makes sense. I want to be a positive person that sees the goodness in everybody even though sometimes I don’t feel that way. But feelings follow actions so if you act like you love everyone even when want to make a disparaging comment, you’ll feel much better for it. If you want to be peaceful, act like it and eventually, you’ll begin to find more peace and balance in your life.

2. Learn to single-task.

One of the most important good habits that you can have is understanding that multi-tasking is overrated. In the end, you just do a bunch of things ineffectively. If you focus on one task at a time, you’ll end up doing that task much better. I like to start my day with about five things that I absolutely have to get done. I won’t stop working until I’ve accomplished those tasks. I work through my list one at a time. Single-tasking also means that my mind doesn’t move off task at all–that means no Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, texting, or checking my bank account while I’m accomplishing a task. It allows for focus and mindfulness. In a sense, you’re meditating while you’re working.

3. Make every day a holiday.

This is your life so it seems a little depressing that you would only have two weekend days per week. Work is essential for most of us, but authentic happiness is about finding goodness in every day. Find focus and peace in what you’re working on and don’t get caught in a rut. As a writer, I’ll checkout a different coffee shop, take a walk on the beach, or ride my bike to break up the day. In the end, you don’t want your life to be separated into work and play. Find a balance so that there’s a little play in every day.

4. Be positive.

Try and be positive for as much of your life as you can. Don’t say negative things about people or things. Try and find gratitude each and every day. You’ll notice that every time you say something bad about someone else, you feel bad for saying it. While it’s no easy task, being positive will change your life and bring authentic happiness.

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You know a ton of successful people… and you’re not one of them. Here’s the 411 on how to turn things around.

I spent my twenties building an “almost” successful life: My career was “almost” going somewhere. I was “almost” a girlfriend. I felt “almost” happy. But I was always “almost” there, I was never exactly where I wanted to be.

I’d climb the hill of success, get close to the top, lose my footing and slide right back to the bottom. On a subconscious level, I probably sabotaged myself on purpose because all I’d ever known was “almost.” Screwed up, but true.

Does this sound like you?

The same used to be true for Jeff Olson, self-proclaimed beach-bum-turned-millionaire and author of “The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success & Happiness.” Like us, he was constantly working his ass off yet spinning his tires, exhausted and getting nowhere. Now, he’s insanely successful, and you’re not going to believe what he changed to make it happen:

Absolutely nothing.

I know, right? What was happening to him is what’s happening to most of us: The things he was doing to go from “Failure” to “Survival” were the exact same things that would’ve taken him from “Survival” to “Success” – if he had kept doing them. Like me, the second he hit the survival line the urgency to become successful faded… until he was on the verge of failure again and had no choice but to haul ass.

Successful people become successful because they keep doing what they were doing all along. (Face palm, anyone?)

Here’s the thing successful people know that we don’t:

Success is boring.

We assume success is exciting (like, “The Wolf of Wall Street” exciting), but it’s actually insanely boring.

It doesn’t help that all we know of successful people are highlight reels they choose to share with us. We’re not there with them during the years leading up to their success – we’re only there for the good stuff. It also doesn’t help that success tips are packaged to sound like it’s possible to succeed at the speed of light.

Even if there was an exact formula for success though, you’d probably still fail. As Jeff says in his book, “It’s not the hows that do it, it’s how you do the hows.” His slight edge philosophy can be summed up in three words: Plant. Cultivate. Harvest.

It’s the little things that add up to the big things. The tiny decisions you make daily have a ripple effect. You’ll either skyrocket… or plummet.

Five percent of the population is succeeding and 95 percent are failing. In order to join the ranks of the 5 percent, you have to change how you think about the little things. For example:

You have the option of eating a salad or a burger. You might think choosing the burger is no biggie, and it’s not a big deal right now… but it will be to your tomorrow, since all of those burgers will eventually add up to an unhealthy body. Heart attacks just don’t decide to happen – they happen because of every small health decision you made leading up to it.

The same goes for success: The decisions you make today will have a ripple effect on your tomorrow. But if these decisions are so small and so easy, why aren’t more people successful?

Because it’s just as easy to do it as it is not to.

It’s just as easy to choose a burger as it is a salad. It’s just as easy to watch a TV show instead of go for a walk. It’s just as easy to sleep in as it is to get up earlier and work on your passion project. And for most of us, we make the small, easy decision… to not.

Every decision you make will either elevate you toward success or downgrade you toward failure, and there’s no confusion over which is which. As you’re about to cave and make the crappy choice, repeat to yourself: It’s just as easy to do it as it is not to. I guarantee you’ll put down the remote.

The first small step you should take? Buying Jeff’s book. Once you’re done reading it, you’ll never look back. I know I haven’t!

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