We all want to feel successful, but how that looks is changing. Do happiness and success go hand in hand?

It is commonplace these days for business owners and those looking to climb the corporate ladder to hire a business coach. But this looks a lot different today than even a decade ago. Rather than simply focusing on tactics that can get you more views, sales, likes, or subscribers, coaches these days are sharing a new viewpoint.

Happiness and joy in what you do is at the forefront of modern business coaching. Our priorities are definitely shifting and bringing a different view of success along for the ride. What we used to deem a successful life (good job, family, house, car, vacations, retirement) now looks more like health, fulfillment, and happiness. How you define that happiness is up to you.

The move toward a more holistic way of thinking and living has almost made “success” a bad word. Many business/life coaches steer clients away from using the term because of its vague and negative bottom line implications.

Is money, renown, and lots of cool stuff the equivalent of success? Sounds pretty great, right? But what if you are miserable at your job every single day of your life in exchange for these things? This may not feel successful even if it looks that way on the outside.

For example, would you feel truly successful as a dentist because it makes your father happy, when you’d really like to become a writer? Dentists make pretty good money. You’d likely be able to afford a nice house and live a more than decent lifestyle. You’d also garner the respect that goes along with being a doctor. But you absolutely cannot stand working on people’s teeth and miss the satisfaction you get from writing. Success? Maybe. Feeling successful? Not so much.

As Alain de Botton explains in his TEDTalk on this modern day conundrum, the true feeling of success boils down to one thing. And that one thing can only be determined by you. What is important to you?

Business and life coaching guru Marie Forleo says what you do for work doesn’t equal your worth, it comes from who you are as a human being. Aha! Check out the video for the rest of Marie’s steps on defining your own personal version of success.

So it seems modern day success looks a lot more like happiness and peace of mind. Not only does a higher measure of personal happiness make you feel more successful, it may actually rub off on a larger scale. Corporate happiness, or a more positive work environment, can mean greater business success organization wide.

As author, Paulo Coelho, puts it “What is success? It is being able to go to bed each night with your soul at peace.”

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I’m not the creative type. Have you uttered these words? Guess what, we are all the creative type and need to let that little light shine. Maybe you don’t wish to spend several hours of your day in creation mode. That’s okay. A little dab may do ya. Here’s why being creative leads to a happier, more meaningful existence.

You know when a new book by one of your favorite author’s is about to come out and it feels like Christmas is approaching? That is how I felt about the upcoming arrival of Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest book, “Big Magic.” Well, me and anyone else who loves to write.

This book was going to tell us all about moving through writer’s block and willing up some inspiration. Right? “Big Magic,” which hit the stands last month, is actually more a handbook on living a fulfilled existence. For all of us.

We know that Gilbert can get philosophical. “Eat, Pray, Love” was a pretty deep journey of self discovery, no? So it should come as no surprise that she views inspiration, idea generation, and being creative on a rather cosmic level.

Those who steer clear of anything leaning toward woo-woo may be turned off by the thought of ideas as energy beings. In “Big Magic,” Gilbert shares her take on ideas as having a will of their own and desire to be made manifest in the world. And that if your idea is not brought to fruition in a reasonably timely manner, it will leave you and go to someone else who will make it happen.

Are you having a moment? Or maybe you are ready to quit reading now. Consider this…

All of those times you’ve seen a product or idea working in the world and said to yourself ‘That was my idea!’ you were probably right. It was your idea. Until you didn’t do it and the poor little idea was left no choice but to take up residency somewhere it would receive more attention and better care. You not only missed the opportunity to possibly see success with your idea, you missed out on the creation part.

So what is so important about being creative? Gilbert calls it courage. Taking the leap to do something you really want to do, big or small, is more interesting, fulfilling, and creates more meaning in life than letting fear get the best of you.

Who says we are living in fear? Back to those ideas that didn’t see the light of day. All of the notions let go of and desires tossed aside. What else was holding you back other than fear? As Gilbert maintains, fear and creativity go hand in hand.

You don’t have to create the next big best seller or become a famous artist or anything else so public or celeb status-y. It can be as simple as learning to bird watch or rock collect, taking a karate or piano class, whatever it is that trips your trigger or fires up your curiosity.

Taking these little leaps in life leads to learning, meeting new people, connecting with those you already know in a new way, and offering something up to the world.

The next time one of those ideas makes its way onto your radar, give in and see where it takes you. Take the leap and feel the magic.

*Disclaimer: Help support EcoSalon! Our site is dedicated to helping people live a conscious lifestyle. We’ve provided some affiliate links above in case you wish to purchase any of these products.

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Living intentionally means constantly taking steps to live your dream life. It’s about setting your life up in a way that fits your preferences instead of just going through the motions and then waking up one morning and wondering how you got where you are. Life can be unpredictable but by answering these questions you can strive for your dream life.

1. Where do you want to live?

You don’t have to answer this question with a specific place. This is about understanding your preferences. Do you like warmer weather? The downside to warmer weather is that in the summer it can get extra hot. Do you require all four seasons or is the tropical life for you? What kind of a cost of living can you afford? If you live in an expensive place you have to work harder to support your lifestyle. Do you prefer large cities? What about living abroad? If so, do you speak another language? While it seems like a simple question, there should be a lot of thought tied up in your answer.

2. How big of a family do you want?

The larger the family, the more you have to work to support them and the harder it is to travel. Smaller families lead to more mobility but at the same time, they’re not quite as exciting. If you want to continue working full time, the size of your family is also important. Larger families mean built-in companionship but at the same time, they can take a toll on relationships.

3. How important is travel?

Maybe living in one place isn’t even on your radar. Instead, you’d prefer longterm travel. If you love to travel then you have to set aside constant money to fulfill your dreams not to mention that you need a companion who also loves to travel. If you’re traveling constantly you may prefer a job that allows you to work remotely.

4. Are you independent?

Some people are more independent than others. To be completely honest, I need to be around people rather constantly. And since I work independently, I have to set up my life so that weekly social outings meet this need. But others are way more independent, which means they can work and travel alone. They don’t need to go to an office and constant social interactions can actually drain them of energy.

5. What qualities in a person are important to you?

What qualities do you really respect in other people? For example, I really enjoy people who are optimistic and are constantly able to show gratitude. I also strive to surround myself with people that don’t judge others and are very slow to speak negatively about others. These are qualities that I crave and want to see in myself so I surround myself with these sorts of people. And each morning I meditate on the importance of optimism and not being judgmental. I’m certainly not there yet but lately I’ve found it easier and easier to look on the bright side and give people a break.

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What have you always dreamed of doing? What’s on your bucket list? What life-changing experiences must you check off before you die? We all want to live a fulfilling life–to be happy and carefree. Here’s my list of life-changing experiences that should be on your bucket list:

41 Life-Changing Experiences

1. Live at an ashram.

2. Learn to sail.

3. Trek to Everest Base Camp.

4. Learn to play an instrument.

5. Sky dive (just once because I’m scared of heights).

6. Do a backbend in front of the Taj Mahal.

7. Take a dip in an Icelandic hotspring.

8. Visit the Monastery (Al Dier) in Jordan.

9. Live like a writer in Tangiers.

10. Drive a convertable down California’s Route 1.

11. Go skinny dipping.

12. Climb Table Mountain in South Africa.

13. Trek the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

14. Learn to surf.

15. Travel the Trans Siberian Railway

16. Break it down at Mardi Gras.

17. Write a book.

18. Watch the World Cup in person.

19. Camp in the desert.

20. Go on a silent retreat.

21. See a mountain gorilla in its habtitat.

22. Learn to Tango.

23. Hike the Applachian Trail

24. Learn to cook traditional Indian cuisine.

25. Checkout Oktoberfest.

26. Zipline through a Costa Rican rainforest.

27. Learn a new language.

28. Run a marathon.

29. Go scuba-diving.

30. Go rock-climbing.

31. Go on a volunteer vacation.

32. Fly in a hot air balloon.

33. See the Northern Lights.

34. Grow your own food.

35. Live in a foreign country for at least 6 months (or more).

36. Drive from coast to coast.

37. Take a sabbatical and travel the globe.

38. Sell or give away everything that you don’t need.

39. Check out the array of African wildlife at Kruger National Park.

40. Look over the edge of Victoria Falls.

41. Save up and splurge on a ridiculously expensive tasting menu.

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Bring out your inner child to add more joy for a happier and healthier life.

As we get older, and the responsibilities of life take up so much of our time, it can be a challenge to rekindle the joy we felt about life as children. It’s difficult to be joyful in the middle of doing taxes, cleaning toilets or spending time stuck in traffic, but research is showing just how important being happy can be for our health.

Fostering positive emotions can be just as important as keeping negative ones at bay. Research conducted by a professor at the Harvard School of Public Health shows that having a “a sense of enthusiasm, of hopefulness, of engagement in life, and the ability to face life’s stresses with emotional balance” can be just as important to our health as regular exercise not smoking. That’s pretty huge and that means there are very real benefits to bringing more happiness into your life and trying to tap into your inner child.

But how do you connect with your inner child when the real world is always ready to intervene?

Here are 7 ways you can channel your inner child for better health:

1. Add spontaneity to your life. Do something “just because” not because there’s necessarily a reason to do it–good health is reason enough.
2. Play. Whether it’s digging in the dirt (grownups call this gardening), skiing, starting a board game night amongst your friends, add more playtime to your life.
3. Take dance breaks. Not only will taking a 5 minute dance break reduce your stress, it will also get your circulation going–that’s a double win.
4. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Kids jump into things head first and it’s only as we age that we start to over analyze every decision. Happiness and joy can come from overcoming a challenge that comes from making mistakes.
5. Don’t get too caught up in what others think of you. There is powerful joy in being yourself and not spending too much time on how others perceive you.
6. Treat yourself. Don’t regularly overindulge but do allow yourself to occasionally enjoy a sweet treat. Better still, make it something you haven’t enjoyed since you were a kid.
7. Spend time around younger people. Having friends who are younger than you can help you tap into your younger more carefree self.

Resources:

http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/magazine/happiness-stress-heart-disease/

http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1015863,00.html

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In modern society we have to balance pursuing our passion and fitting into societal norms. Is it possible to have it all?

In today’s society we’re sold two visions of what makes a “good” life:

1. Pursue your passion and live your dreams!

We’re taught that doing what we love is a noble cause and it’s something that we should strive for. Get a better life/work balance. Focus on our talents and creativity. Do good things for the world. Be happy. Live simply.

2. Buy a house, save for retirement and be successful!

Success is defined by money. Climb the corporate ladder, be someone’s boss, make money so you can buy a house and be sure to start a 401k as early as possible. Being busy is a good thing. You should be putting your educational degree to good use. Drive a big car, have a house with a hot tub. Be a lawyer, a doctor, be a hedge fund manager, but whatever you do, do something that commands respect.

But these two approaches to life are often in complete opposition to one another. We’re sold an American Dream that is literally unattainable without some sort of compromise, and we like to glaze right over that compromise. “You can do it all!” we’re told. But can we?

If we’re freelancing, in charge of our own schedule, and generally happy with our tiny artsy studio apartment or tiny house, we’re stressed because we don’t have a retirement plan, our friends and family give us the “are you going to grow up soon” look and we wonder if maybe we should have been smarter about putting our degree to good use. We feel guilty for leaving early for a long weekend. “Shouldn’t I have become a lawyer by now?” you say to yourself as others around you buy houses, have babies and nest their way into domestic bliss.

But if we’re on the professional route, we work 60 hours a week, our health falls to the back burner, we’re stressed and burnt out, and despite the number of diplomas on the wall and raises in the board room we wonder, “shouldn’t I simplify and really focus on being happy in my life?”

If you have ever doubted your path in life, you are not alone. And asking whether or not you really can have it all is a common question.

Our culture feeds us two contradicting ideals. Since we live in a world driven by consumerism, it’s no surprise that money is the definition of success, and even if all the self help books have clearly outlined the way to happiness (hint: it’s not money) it’s a nagging thought at the back of our brains that never really goes away. Why do you think people spend so much time looking at inspirational quotes on Pinterest? Here’s a reminder: an inspirational quote is only inspirational if it actually gets you to take action.

Going after happiness is about navigating these worlds, being conscious that no matter how much culture tells us to “pursue our passion” there’s always a grim reality that comes with that pursuit.

How do we create a life where we get both? We don’t. That is to say, we can have elements of both, but we must come to terms with the fact that to do so, there will be some element of compromise. We must also be hyper conscious of the societal pressures at hand. No matter how much marketing and advertising tells you that you can have it all, you can’t.

Can you have it all? No. Because no matter what we do, there will always be a compromise, but it is learning to appreciate and understand that compromise that helps us to live better. We give up one thing and get another in return. We do a cost-benefit analysis.

We can do one thing and that is to live consciously. Make decisions that make sense for us individually. Sometimes that means dropping everything and moving to Mexico to become a yoga instructor. Sometimes that means taking a 9 to 5 office job and not having the flexibility to travel when you want. It’s up to you to weigh the pros and cons of each. There is a daily reality to both worlds, difficult moments and wonderful ones. But determine what your own dream is, don’t live someone else’s.

Life is meant for living, but it’s also about finding a balance. One that you and only you alone can determine. Define your own success and happiness, whatever that is.

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A smile is the universal sign for happiness. It makes you feel good and it spreads that joy to everyone around you. Even when you’re in a funk, a smile really can turn the tide. Let the world know that you’re happy with a smile. Here are 7 reasons to say cheese:

1. Smiling makes you feel better.

Smiling can make you feel happy even when you’re not. Smiling actually sends a message to your brain that you’re happy, which pumps you up with endorphins. Endorphins are neurotransmitters that send messages from one neuron to the next, producing a feeling of well being. A 1984 article in the journal Science found that people mimic their emotional expressions and their bodies produce physiological changes that reflect that emotion. And it goes both ways–if you want to feel crappy, frowning will get the job done.

2. Your smile is contagious.

Just like your smile makes you feel better, it makes those around you feel better as well. Smiling is contagious and it spreads an uplifting feeling from one person to the next.

3. It makes you more attractive.

Smiling makes you more attractive because people tend to look their best when they’re happiest. According to the American Academy of Dentistry, 96 percent of adult Americans believe an attractive smile makes people more appealing to the opposite sex.

4. It makes you laugh.

We humans have a bad habit of taking ourselves way too seriously. In those times when you’re forgetting that life should be fun, crack a smile. It will remind you to relax and ride the waves of life with ease.

5. Notice the everyday joys.

Sometimes you just need to smile at life’s everyday joys. Smile at the beauty of the world you’re lucky enough to live in each and everyday. Your smile is a reminder to be mindful and grateful.

6. It boosts immune health.

When you smile you’re more relaxed which contributes to good health and a stronger immune system. Stress in the body reduces the ability of the immune system to fight disease, that’s why we get physically ill. So consider cracking a smile even when you feel stress creeping up in your life.

7. It makes you more confident.

Sometimes it can be harder to be nice than it is to be mean. If you notice the cashier being rude to the customer in front of you, instead of continuing the nastiness, crack a smile and notice the negativity lift from the room. Sometimes we don’t smile because we fear rejection but when we do smile, those around us can feel that inner confidence. Confidence makes you more successful and better able to get what you want out of life.

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Daily fear can be a major stumbling block to an abundant life. Here’s how to stop worrying and enjoy every moment.

When the tune Don’t Worry Be Happy comes on, you can’t help but smile at the thought of not having to worry because everything will actually be alright. But after the song comes to an end you’re back to thinking about all the nasty fears that could come true in the future. Fear sets in and you become a worrywart once again. But what if the song could actually be your reality? Here’s how to stop worrying and start living.

How To Stop Worrying in 6 Easy Steps

1. Create a worry period.

The best way to learn how to stop worrying is to contain the damage. Set a certain time period aside for worrying. From 5:00-5:30 pm everyday you’re allowed to run through your list of worries. Worry about whatever is on your mind but after your worry period is up, move on. If another worry comes up after your worry period, put it off until your next worry period.

2. Ask yourself: “Is the problem solvable?”

Let’s get realistic here. Is your problem solvable or is it something that just cycles through your head, driving you crazy? Though we like to think that we’re working toward a goal by worrying, in reality, worrying and problem solving are two totally different things. If you’re a chronic worrier then you’ll find that the vast majority of your worries are things you can’t solve–so why waste the energy?

3. Feel your emotions.

Worry is just another way of suppressing your emotions so you don’t have to feel them. But the truth is emotions are not always rational. In fact, they’re messy just like life. Feel your emotions and stop trying to organize them.

4. Accept uncertainty.

Worrying is an attempt to predict the future and prevent unpleasant surprises, but in reality it can do neither. If you want to learn how to stop worry, you’ve got to be willing to ride the waves of life. While goal setting is important, understand that not everything is going to turn out the way you planned. And that’s OK. It’s not what happens to you in life that matters but the way you react to it.

5. What is the evidence that your thought is true?

In the whirl of thoughts that cycle through your mind, how many of your worries could actually happen? Is there a more positive and realistic way that you could look at the situation? Learning how to stop worrying starts by not allowing yourself to get worked up about improbabilities.

6. What would you say to a friend who had your same worry?

We tend to treat ourselves worse than we would treat anyone else. What if your friend were to have the same worry? How would you respond to them? Would you think they were being crazy to even have the thought? Likely, the answer is yes. In the end, our worries and thoughts can be so irrational that if anyone else were thinking this way we would tell them to calm down, take a breath, and get real. Give yourself the same advice.

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Comparison thinking is just another way of judging ourselves.

Gauging your own success by comparing yourself to others is a no-win game. On one hand, comparison thinking is natural because our minds love to rank, file, and organize, but it’s too easy to get sucked into the depressing pattern of jealousy and competition. It takes effort, but putting an end to comparison thinking is the only way to avoid unnecessary negativity.

6 Ways to Free Yourself from Comparison Thinking

1. Turn the tables.

Since comparison thinking comes naturally to humans, try to channel it in a different direction. Try comparing the new you to the old you. Celebrate the things you’re able to do today that you couldn’t do five years ago. Take pleasure in all the ways you’re a more confident version of yourself.

2. Be proud of other’s successes.

Part of being happy is learning to learning to be happy for others. Comparison thinking breeds jealousy, which, along with fear and hate, are emotions create a downward spiral of negativity. Try to be happy for other people and their successes rather than being jealous–you might be surprised at how content it makes you feel!

3. Look for triggers.

Why are you so quick to compare yourself to others? And I’m not only talking about cyberstalking your frenemies on Facebook and Instagram. More specifically, what are the vulnerabilities that rise to the surface when you look deep within? Are you worried about fitting in, having more money, or career success? Identify the things that trigger negative comparison thinking so you can acknowledge and avoid them.

4. Be kind.

Kindness enriches every part of our lives. If you’re unkind to yourself then you’re likely to be unkind to others. Be proud of where you, your friends, and family are in life and don’t be critical.

5. Give up both sides of comparison thinking.

Comparison thinking typically involves judging ourselves against those who have more than us, rather than those who have less. But it can also involve feeling superior to those who have less. Resist the urge to compare in either direction.

6. Be yourself.

Just because all your friends are having babies doesn’t mean you should do the same. Maybe your life path is different. As we grow older it becomes more difficult not to fall into the mold of what we think we should be doing, even if it’s not a good fit. Remember to stay true to who you are and avoid being who you think you should be.

What’s your best advice for stopping comparison thinking?

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Happiness: economists want to measure it, researchers want to understand it and we all want it – but is it really what we need?

Happiness is officially big business.

The chairman of the Federal Reserve believes measuring national happiness could be an effective method of tracking economic progress – maybe even as important as inflation or employment statistics. In a video presentation at a conference of economists and statisticians, Ben Bernanke argued it may be the key to understanding the country’s well-being, while being the ultimate goal of all his department’s economic decisions.

He’s far from the first to jump to this conclusion – the country of Bhutan has been tracking GNH (Gross National Happiness) since 1972, as journalist Eric Weiner explores in his hilariously grumpy travelogue The Geography of Bliss. It’s also not the first time Bernanke has mentioned happiness studies – in a May 2010 commencement speech at the University of South Carolina, Bernanke cited research suggesting that beyond a level of wealth that financed our basic needs, there was no correlation between money and happiness.

So, you’re suggesting telling this to America, right now? As Christopher Rugaber notes in his article for AP/NBC News, “you don’t need money to be happy” and it won’t go down terribly well with a nation struggling with a slumped economy and a truly terrifying amount of national debt – all this during the upheaval of a presidential election campaign. Rich people telling poorer people they don’t need money to be happy? Wince.

However, science may be on Bernanke’s side. Recently released results of 4 experiments published in the journal Psychological Science point to a lack of correlation between “socioeconomic status” and well-being, with happiness instead being driven by peer respect and admiration. In short, happiness isn’t about what we have in our pockets, it’s all about who we hang out with. (Could this be the reason for the boom in online social media at a time of global economic strife and its associated mood-dampening effects? One to ponder).

But are we in pursuit of the healthiest thing here? The so-called self-help revolution is all about nailing down a lifestyle that fills our days with joy – but is that what we truly need right now? Writer and blogger Penelope Trunk thinks we’re barking up the wrong tree. In conversation with Dan Schwabel at Forbes, she said:

…people should focus on how interesting their life is. In fact, many people already intuitively aim for interestingness rather than happiness. But they don’t have the language to describe what they are doing. They feel out of step with the rest of the country, maybe, but in fact, they are leading the path to the new American Dream. […] Engagement, fulfillment, continual learning, these are things that feel good. And they are much more attainable than the old-school version of happiness.

Could it be the key to true happiness is unfulfillment?

Further reading: Check out The Happiness Project, from #1 New York Times bestselling author Gretchen Rubin.

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