ColumnThe Bachelor’s hateful comments about gay people are just one more example of the power of words—and the danger of hate speech.

You know what I’m not doing right now? Watching “The Bachelor.” As some of you know, I love the terrible franchise and have spent way too many Monday nights gleefully hate-watching “The Bachelorette”, “The Bachelor” and — I cringe just writing this — “Bachelor Pad.”

I thought about giving it up last year, but ABC’s Juan-uary promos combined with Chicago’s polar vortex left me on the couch, ready to commit to season number 18,657 of this wretched shitshow.

Then, last week, a reporter asked our newest Bachelor, Juan Pablo Galavis, what he thought about a gay version of the show.

“I don’t think it’s a good example for kids,” he said, adding that a gay version of the show would be “confusing” and that gay people are “more pervert in a sense.” If you’re dying to hear more Bachelor stupidity, here’s the full interview.

There’s definitely nothing “pervert” about going on a reality show and banging a bunch of women on TV. Or nothing that will instill a sense of the sanctity of marriage in the mind of his own daughter better than seeing her nearly-nude dad take to TV to look for her new mama. It’s a journey, right!?

The Bachelor has since apologized for his homophobic comments (Jaun Pablo’s excuse is a combination of “English is my second language” and “some of my best friends are gay!”) and agreed to meet with GLAAD.

That’s nice and all. But the real problem isn’t simply that one more ignorant person has a platform for his views. The problem isn’t that kids might see gay people on a dating show, it’s that they will hear — over and over — that gay people are perverts.

A far more important story about the power of hate speech was also in the news recently — though fewer people paid attention. Daisy Coleman, one of the Maryville rape survivors, tried to commit suicide for the third time early this year.

Her mom, Melinda Coleman, wrote a moving (and Daisy-approved) piece for xoJane. She writes that Daisy (who is now home from the hospital) went to a party in an attempt to be a normal teenager. She stayed just an hour and, her mom writes, the online bullying started immediately. “She has been called a slut and a liar and told that she deserves to die.”

If you hear something enough, it starts to sound true.

“Daisy wishes that she could write back every single person who has reached out to her, but I have told her to focus on doing what she needs to do so that she is taking care of herself and her life,” writes her mom.

Whether it’s one jerk’s stupid comment about a whole group of people, or a group of bullies terrorizing an individual, hate speech is dangerous.

We can’t, and shouldn’t, try to stop people from speaking their minds. But we can, and should, make sure that the victims of hate speech hear our voices just as loudly. Even though they may not respond, they are listening.

Image: ABC

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A North Carolina pastor’s plan for the gays.

After a great month of progress in gay rights, the backlash is heating up. Hate speech is starting in southern churches and making its way across the internet.

First, there’s Charles L. Worley’s rant from the pulpit. Taking a page from the recent Women as Livestock bill, the pastor of Providence Road Baptist Church in Maiden, North Carolina, has a great idea: Put all gays and lesbians in an electrified pen, throw down food occasionally and wait for them to die. His theory? Without the ability to reproduce with one another, all gay and lesbian people will all die off.

Only, there are a few loose nails in this fence (not the least of which is that the plan evokes images of Nazi Germany). What about the bisexuals? Do the bisexual men go with the gay men? What if a really butch woman gets in there and, for survival’s sake, makes a bunch more gay babies? What about the gender-benders, trannies and cross-dressers? Does a man dressed in lady gear go with the girls? (If so, see earlier problem.) But wait. This still won’t solve the gay problem long-term because most gay people were made by straight people. I think he’s gonna need a bigger pen because gay isn’t going away.

And neither are the homophobes. The next generation is being trained in Indiana. Check out this video of a kid singing, Ain’t No Homos Gonna Make it to Heaven to a cheering congregation. Ain’t no kids gonna make it to high school unless the adults in their lives stop focusing on teaching their kids to hate people and start focusing on teaching them grammar. But seriously, isn’t religion supposed to be about love? Where is the love in this?

Then there’s Ron Baity, founding pastor of Winston-Salem’s Berean Baptist Church and head of the anti-marriage equality organization Return America. He suggests that we legally prosecute all lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. So, kind of the same idea as the electric fence but with more cost to the taxpayer — clearly, he could have innovated more like his pal Charles if he really wanted to woo his base.

And let’s not forget Sean Harris, another North Carolina pastor. He’s also concerned about the children. In a sermon, he suggested that parents “punch” effeminate boys and “crack that [limp] wrist.” That’s right, a less subtle form of child abuse than the one displayed by the adults who stood and applauded a child’s hateful song —a song that it’s likely he didn’t understand because, I assume, his parents aren’t cool with him learning anything about homosexuality (0r evolution) in school. Oh, and Harris now says he was joking. Not sure I get it.

Despite the volume of these hateful voices, I feel fairly confident that these people do not represent the majority. But just knowing that they are out there — to quote pastor Worley himself — “makes me pukin’ sick to think about.”

Photo: FredoAlvarez

The post North Carolina Pastor Advises Fencing Gays In to Watch Them Die appeared first on EcoSalon.

Our tendency to post and tweet callous comments reflects a nation lacking in empathy.

As a global community, we have suffered some devastating catastrophes in the past decade: the 9/11 attacks, the 2005 South Asia tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, the Haiti earthquake, the BP oil spill, and the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan. Along with these catastrophes, we have a steady flow of news stories depicting the cruelty people inflict upon each other every day around the world.

As these tragedies unfold in the media, there is an outpouring of sympathy from the vast majority of people, along with donations, offers to help, and sincere grief for the fallen. But there is also a disturbing number of people who seem to feel no compassion for others at all, and, thanks to the combination of traditional and ever-rising social media, these hateful voices become viral.

Heartless in the face of natural disaster
Even in the wake of a natural disaster, some people found a way to ridicule, dismiss or even blame the victims. Some high profile figures even seem to feel compelled to make shocking comments and jokes in the wake of tragedy using Twitter where they have thousands of followers. 50 Cent, Rush Limbaugh, and Glenn Beck, among others posted now-famous comments and jokes in extremely poor taste about the disaster and its victims.

50 Cent joked about having to evacuate his “hoes” from L.A., Japan and Hawaii, while Rush Limbaugh laughed with a caller about the irony that the tsunami hit a nation known for its leadership in recycling and hybrid cars. Glenn Beck not only laughed about the Japanese victims, saying it was a message from God, but in the past he has called Hurricane Katrina victims “scumbags” and mocked the residents who were unable or unwilling to leave before the storm.

These men are known for their “shock value,” but that does not excuse cruelty.

Whom does it hurt?
Clearly, cruel speech hurts the victims who have to endure their suffering being made light of, and despite the outpouring of aid from the U.S., the backlash from these incidents makes us, as a nation, look like selfish, over-privileged fame-seekers. Does it hurt the ones who made the comments? It’s doubtful that 50 Cent, Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck gave their comments a second thought. They won’t be hurt professionally or lose their seething audiences. And, as Robert Elisberg mused, that’s troubling. As he pointed out, fans will continue to idolize Beck and Limbaugh, but there is no evidence that even one of them protested and said that in this instance, any of these comments were out of line.

Therein lies the danger. That this shock value is accepted. That this attitude of casual cruelty seems normal and is emulated. Was there backlash? Thankfully, yes. Many people denounced their comments. But, plenty of non-celebrities got into the act of making jokes and calling it, inexplicably, karmic payback for Pearl Harbor, killing whales and dolphins, or other senseless justifications. Hundreds of Facebook statuses and Twitter feeds echoed similar thoughts.

In a rant heard around the world, UCLA student Alexandra Wallace posted a video on YouTube complaining about Asian students in the library disrupting her studying when they called home to check on their loved ones. She mocked the way they spoke and criticized them for not having “American manners.” Looking back, she might be choking on that characterization right about now.

While the hatemongers of social media can only be identified by having their statuses reposted in incredulous news pieces, Wallace’s video went viral. It was the biggest 2 minute 52 second mistake of her life. Unlike the mostly untouchable 50 Cent, Limbaugh and Beck, Wallace has effectively ended her college career at UCLA, destroyed her reputation, and most likely will have torpedoed her entire professional career as that video is destined to live on the internet forever.

In a time where connectivity is bringing us closer together as a global community, we shouldn’t forget that our international neighbors have a front row seat to the insensitive and insulting remarks of the vocal few that overshadow the concerned many.

Unfeeling toward crime victims
Vicious comments aren’t limited to victims of natural disasters, crime victims are fair game, too. In a recent piece, we discussed the public reaction to Lara Logan’s sexual assault in Egypt. Public figures made light of it, a journalist lost his job over it, and the less-than-sympathetic public seemed divided between racist comments about her Egyptian attackers and blaming a woman professional for being there in the first place. In this public poll, more than half of the voters felt that Logan is to blame for her own attack.

Looking back to the 9/11 attacks in 2001, there isn’t a wide electronic trail of negative public opinion. But then, this was pre-Facebook and Twitter. Apps and smartphones make it all too easy; just a decade ago, people didn’t have an instant outlet to broadcast their every vicious thought. There was certainly some anti-Muslim sentiment from the cable news punditry, but save for Ann Coulter lambasting widows and Glenn Beck pronouncing his hatred for some of the “whining” 9/11 families, our nation seemed to join together in dignity and offer support to the victims.

Whether we have coarsened as a people, or whether social media simply provides a more visible mirror, is unclear. Are we teaching the next generation that shock value, even if it’s cruel, is a justified outlet for pain, entertainment, attention? Is that the way our society really feels toward others? In a time where vast numbers of people continue to give to others, despite still-challenging economic conditions, a vocal slice can undo all the good with thoughtless spewing.

image: Rego

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