Is instant gratification the root of all evil, or are we just using it wrong?

If there’s one thing that will always get in the way of your long-term goals, it’s the appeal of instant gratification. I attribute it to a cheesy after school special: You know, the one about peer pressure where the cool girl you want to impress is passing you the lit cigarette – but smoking is bad.

Dun dun dunnnn!

If you take a drag, you’ll become part of the popular crowd. So you do, and you feel awesome… until the mound of guilt ensues. It’s not long before you want to slap yourself in the face for what you’ve done, which is the same feeling we get from instant gratification. Compound these hasty, short-term, rush-rush-rush decisions over time and your life becomes… well, total chaos.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve fallen into this ridiculous rabbit hole. Regardless of your intentions, giving in to instant gratification means you’re giving up what you want to achieve down the road (something I will forever want to say to my 18-year-old self). That being said, there is one incredibly easy way to use instant gratification to your advantage:

Anytime you feel the urge, do the opposite.

For many of us, we feel like instant gratification is built into our DNA – we hardly remember what it feels like to wait for our dial-up Internet to connect, or wait for a letter in the mail, or save for something instead of using credit, or, remember that thing where you wait for your pictures to be developed? Pffft. But if you’re like me and you miss this mindful way of experiencing life, the only thing you can do is the exact opposite of what you’re doing now.

Let’s face it: You have these grand aspirations for your life, and you’re not getting anywhere with them. Sometimes you even feel like you’re going backwards. You’ve tried everything. Nothing’s worked, and why? Because you can’t stick to anything longer than five minutes before turning into Dug from “Up” (“Squirrel!”).

You know that anything worthwhile takes a ton of time, a ton of effort, and a ton of chutzpah. You also know that instant gratification is like a sugar high with an inevitable crash that feels worse than that hangover you had after that wedding you went to. To get off the hamster wheel, just stop running.

Instead of scanning an article, read it. Instead of lunging at your phone every time it beeps, get back to people when you’re done what you’re doing. Instead of looking for the fastest way to do something, look for the highest quality way. Take. Your. Time. That’s what it’s there for.

Draw a line in the sand between your past decisions and future decisions. Label your past decisions “old me” and future decisions “new me.” When faced with a decision, big or small, ask yourself, “What would the old me do?” Then do the opposite. Your body will gradually transition from chronically panicked to neutral, but (ironically) the process takes time.

Soon, you won’t have to be so analytical about your decisions; they’ll feel perfectly natural. Soon, you’ll look back on all of your hasty decisions and participate in the world’s most epic face palm. Soon, you’ll look forward to soon in a now that isn’t so blurry.

How do you handle your need for instant gratification?

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Being patient is a lot harder than it looks, trust me – I’m the most patient impatient person I know.

Do you feel a constant sense of urgency? Do you push and push to be productive as quickly as possible? Do you bulldoze your way through every experience and miss it in the process? Yep, me too. Worst of all, I had no idea I was even on the instant gratification roller coaster until I was too burnt out to continue.

I’m what they call a “patient impatient” person – my mind tells me to fill every moment of my day with tasks, while my body counters the constant nagging by taking a nap (kind of like my ex-boyfriend). Being patient is not my forte, but when you look back on your twenties and your only reaction is, “WTF?” you know it’s time to make a change.

Fair warning: Being patient is an art. Since society won’t be changing with you, you’ll be up against a constant “new you” versus “old you” tug-of-war until you’ve conditioned yourself to stick it out. Being patient takes… well, patience. From time-to-time your life’s going to feel like an after-school special, but your health will thank you for the extra effort.

Continue doing what you’re doing and you’ll be well on your way to a life of chronic hypertension, high blood pressure, maybe even heart disease. Yuck, right? Take the following secrets to being patient to heart, and it will make a big difference to your overall well-being:

1. Keep track of your impatience.
Knowledge is power – every time you feel impatient, keep track of when it happened and why. This will make you aware of what your stress triggers are so you can work toward being patient in these moments.

2. Stop looking at the clock.
Obsessing over what time it is or how long you’ve been waiting takes you away from the present moment and distracts you. Sure, racing against the clock might get things done faster, but probably in poor quality.

3. Stop checking your e-mail/phone every 35 seconds.
Sorry, but nothing is that important! Turn off instant notifications and only check for new messages when it’s actually time to.

4. Accept the present moment.
When you’re stuck in traffic, stuck in line, or basically stuck anywhere you don’t want to be, it doesn’t mean the universe is against you. It’s the perfect opportunity for you to practice being patient, so you’re putting the time to good use.

5. Chew your food slowly.
Do you remember the last time you really tasted  and enjoyed your food? Neither do I. Eating slowly (and seated at an actual table instead of in front of the TV) will encourage you to stay in the moment while focusing on one thing only – a habit that will translate into other areas of your life.

6. Talk slower.
The faster you talk, the edgier you feel. What starts out as an adrenaline rush turns into a surge of cortisol (the stress hormone). Being patient means saying bye-bye to your motor mouth. Also, there’s something to be said for listening more.

7. Talk to yourself.
I know, weird, but hear me out: When your mind’s putting all of your thoughts into a proverbial blender and you’re starting to freak out, the best thing you can do is give yourself a quick pep talk. By talking through it, you’ll cut your psychotic break short and get back to the business of one step at a time.

8. Take up hobbies that require being patient.
Activities with a steep learning curve can’t be mastered without being patient. Yoga, gardening, painting – any activity that requires your full concentration will help you appreciate being patient and how rewarding it can be.

How has being patient enhanced your life?

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