We’ve been waxing on women’s issues more frequently lately, so you’d be forgiven the impression that team ES is sitting around a conference table cooking up angry gal content. The truth is that we are working from all over the world, leading varied lifestyles, individually coming to our own conclusions about troubling things that are absolutely not sustainable for women – or for anyone. And that’s the scary thing. A conference table and some headline goosing would be nice for a change.

Why the abundance of news material to work with? Perhaps women have grown lax, accepting too much from our male counterparts (and possibly alpha women) as just joking, just teasing and just, you know, being anything but serious – so that we’ve forgotten to ask point blank questions like, “Excuse me. Why is this okay?”

Case in point: I track trend sites daily and one of my kitschy favorites, Trendhunter, is adding fuel to an already blazing feminist fire roaring out of kitchens and minivans worldwide. Based on their “trends” from correspondents that send in their finds, apparently, we women (including children) are spreading our legs for every Jim, Jack and Johnnie – that is, when we’re not busy plowing through the vodka and Valium.

Kindergarten Couture? Give me a break.

Trendhunter says of former French Vogue editor, Carine Roitfeld: “Carine Roitfeld has been known for being an editor to run controversial material during her time at French Vogue. Her final stint at the magazine was her last chance to go out in style, and she made sure that happened.”

That means gathering a group of 6-year-olds and smothering them in tons of toxic makeup and sky high stilettos.

Even Gawker’s Maureen O’ Connor calls it “prima facie disgusting.” Carine certainly knows how to go out with a bang.

French Vogue, Cadeaux

Trendhunter thinks that in addition to involving sexy grade schoolers posing with exotic animal pelts, deranged housewives precariously lighting butts by stove top is a trend we should be watching. Really? Is Trendhunter really saying this is something we will see more of? (I’m pulling my fork out of the toaster.)

We all understand – and most of us adore – the fantasy of fashion, but some fantasies are best left in the box.

You’ll notice the little girl in the corner is walking in on Mother having her domestic breakdown.

Vogue Italia, ‘Home Works’ by Miles Aldridge

Cue the Talking Heads Song, “How did I get here?”

The “Boozer Babe Spreads” are a hot trend I can see really blossoming into future editorials including, “Addicted to heroin and all my veins have collapsed” spreads, “I lost all my children because I’m a full-force alcoholic” spread and let’s not forget, “Hey, where’s the cartilage in my nose, I snorted too much coke” spread.

Simon Powell photographs

If fashion magazines are a barometer for what’s stylishly happening to women, I’d like to scrub them all out with a good bar of organic vegetable soap. Taste, class, consciousness: that’s an ecology that sustains (and is sexy). Booze, babes and cigarette butts? Hardly. But of course, I should probably just lighten up.

From bad green design to ridiculous marketing campaigns, find out what peeves the writers and editors of EcoSalon in our team column, The Beige Report.

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