If you’re crazy in love, a new study suggests expressing yourself via email is the way to go.

There’s a new romantic gesture on the block that just might tug at your phone-hating heartstrings: According to a new study published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior, sending an email can be more effective in expressing how in love you are than leaving a voicemail (no matter how adorable).

Previous research (and lectures from the family) have suggested the opposite is true—that voicemail is a more intimate way to connect with someone, and that sending emails and texts are “cold” forms of communication that you can’t properly convey emotion with.

To understand how we respond emotionally to emails, co-authors Alan R. Dennis and Taylor M. Wells worked with 72 college-age participants and tracked their psychophysiological responses. Responses were tracked by placing skin sensors on the participants’ faces, which measured muscle movement linked to positive and negative emotion, and on their feet to measure arousal. Each participant was randomly assigned to do voicemail or email first, and produce a utilitarian or romantic message first.

They found that people who sent romantic emails were more emotionally aroused and used stronger and more thoughtful language than those who left voicemails.

“When writing romantic emails, senders consciously or subconsciously added more positive content to their messages, perhaps to compensate for the medium’s inability to convey vocal tone,” Dennis and Wells wrote in the paper.

“Email enables senders to modify the content as messages are composed to ensure they are crafted to the needs of the situation. Voicemail lacks this feature,” they continued. “A sender records a voicemail in a single take, and it can be sent or discarded and re-recorded, but not edited. Thus senders engage with email messages longer and may think about the task more deeply than when leaving voicemails. This extra processing may increase arousal.”

No difference was detected in how men and women reacted, and the team found that even with utilitarian messages, email aroused more psychophysiological responses than voicemail. The results counter media naturalness theory, the commonly held belief that suggests the further we get away from face-to-face interaction, the less effective communicating becomes.

“In this case, we found people adapted,” Dennis said in a statement. “Email’s been in the popular consciousness since the 1990s, and if you look at the new generation of millennials, and that’s who we studied, they’ve grown up with email and text messaging. So it may not be as unnatural a medium as we at first thought.

“There’s a lot of theory that says email and other text communications don’t really work very well,” Dennis added. “We should probably go back and reconsider a lot of the stereotypical assumptions that we hold about email and text messaging that may not hold true when we take a deeper look at how people react physiologically.”

Related on EcoSalon

7 Romantic Ideas to Spice Things Up with Your Guy

31 Inspirational Quotes for Romantics

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits for Healthy Relationships

Red hearts image via Shutterstock

The post In Love? Email is Officially More Romantic Than Voicemail, Study Finds appeared first on EcoSalon.

Love it or hate it, February 14th is upon us. With so much annual hype, it seems like the help of a professional is required to come up with any unique Valentine’s Day ideas. That’s why men and women across the country seek romantic advice from Thomas Edwards, a.k.a., The Professional Wingman.

Though he’s a year-round dating and lifestyle coach, February is always a busy time of year for Edwards. He chalks it up to a tendency among even the best of us to let the pressure of the holiday build up. His secret? “Remember that Valentine’s Day is highly commercialized,” Edwards says. “The history of why Valentine’s Day exists has nothing to do with love. So … keep it simple, but significant.”

So simple, in fact, that he’s got 5 Valentine’s Day ideas that anyone – single or monogamous, male or female – can easily follow this weekend, but also, make romantic.

1. Don’t go out for dinner.

Oh, look. Roses and a dinner reservation. That’s original. “There’s nothing less romantic than being at a crowded place, where everyone’s out there for Valentine’s Day, and you’re screaming over yourself trying to hear the other person,” Edwards says. Instead, he suggests doing something that will let your partner know that you’ve been paying enough attention to really know what he or she might enjoy. The best Valentine’s Day ideas, he says, involve a special interest or activity, such as a love-related museum exhibit, or getting drinks somewhere with a heated rooftop or fireplace.

“Just hang out,” he says. “At the end of the day, it’s about spending time with each other and enjoying each other’s company.”

2. Keep your expectations in check.

In fact, Edwards believes its best to have none. “The more expectations you have, the more likely it is that you’re going to be heavily disappointed,” he says. At most, “just go in looking to have a good time.”

That advice is especially true of the dollars spent for Valentine’s Day, which can skyrocket with markups added by restaurants and retailers looking to cash in on the hype associated with it. In reality, Edwards says, “It doesn’t matter how much money you spend. Some of the best gifts people can give may not have any monetary value whatsoever.”

3. Valentine’s Day is for men, too.

Too often, it seems, men feel that the responsibility of making Valentine’s Day successful falls entirely on them, along with the bill that comes with it. To reverse that stereotype, says Edwards, ladies should heed the same advice to show that you’ve given the day some altruistic consideration.

The sad truth? “Guys just don’t expect it,” Edwards says. “Immediately, you win, once you show some level of thought into making it just as special for him as he would for you.”  It could be as simple as buying a new game for your PS4 enthusiast, which while not necessarily romantic, does show a certain level of being in tune with what makes your partner happy.

“It seems ridiculous,” says Edwards, “but we’re guys. We’re very simple. Gifts can make us very, very happy.”

4. Take advantage of being single.

There’s a reason why Valentine’s Day has become analogous with “Singles Awareness Day”: The vast majority of Americans are single, and Valentine’s Day has grown to be the highest-rated day for them to hook up.

“It’s a great day to celebrate your singledom,” says Edwards. “It’s also a day where people are most aware of opportunities to find love. Take advantage of that.”

Believe it or not, the same can be said even of those in the tricky spot of being the only single person within their respective social circles. That’s a great moment, Edwards says, to take stock of your romantic situation and what you’d like to do about it. “The first thing you should do is create a secondary circle of friends who are single and also out looking to meet people,” he says. “You’re not necessarily throwing away your married friends, but you’re being more proactive in making sure that you have opportunities to go out.” Check out get-togethers on Meetup, Eventbrite, or just by going out solo with the intention of meeting new people.

5. Great gestures can be made from a distance.

Thank goodness for modern-day technology. Video interfaces have changed the way long-distance relationships work, especially on occasions like Valentine’s Day. “You can do really cool things with technology,” says Edwards, “like having dinner and drinks over Skype, while maybe even watching something on TV or Netflix together.” The ability to actually see each other, he adds, enhances a genuine date-like feel, encouraging couples, for example, to even dress up. Make it cute, though: Edwards suggests sending an email to your partner with a picture of flowers, as a way to preempt these virtual dates.

The bottom line, Edwards says, is effort. “At the end of the day, it’s just another day,” he says. “You should be showing love 365 days of the year. This just happens to be a day where it gets acknowledged a little bit more.”

For that reason, Valentine’s Day might even provide extra motivation to show appreciation and thoughtfulness toward loved ones at all times, no matter what the season. “Remember,” Edwards points out, “you’re doing this because you want to, not because you have to.”

To learn more about The Professional Wingman, visit theprofessionalwingman.com.

Say hey to Amanda on Twitter or Instagram

Related on EcoSalon

Enjoying Valentine’s Day: The Commitment-Phobe’s Guide

18 Best Pickup Lines for Women to Bring that Holiday Cheer

5 Awkward Relationship Questions Every New Couple Should Ask

Image: Tyler Burrus

The post 5 Simply Romantic Valentine’s Day Ideas from a Professional Wingman appeared first on EcoSalon.

There’s nothing quite like winter sex. You know, if you play your thermostats right.

It’s hard to say why our sex drive plummets in the winter… oh, who am I kidding? The reasons are a plenty: It’s freezing and taking your clothes off equals more freezing, not to mention the 45 minutes it takes to strip off all your layers. Then there’s the shaving dilemma: You don’t want to shave because the extra layer of insulation really comes in handy, but the second you don’t your beau’s not going to bust out his “let’s get it on” face, leaving you to feel about as attractive as Chewbacca. And that’s just the tip of the libidoless iceberg.

As the temperature drops, here are 6 ways to make sure your sex drive doesn’t drop with it:

1. Get your flirt on

Love isn’t all about sex, so it’s important to flex your flirt muscles every once in a while. Recreate the flirty feeling that connected you two in the first place: Head to your fave bar and kick his ass at pool, relive your first date, have an indoor picnic and pretend it’s not 50 below outside. And should all the flirting lead to increased nookie, well…

2. Give your bedroom a makeover

It doesn’t have to be an extreme makeover (well, unless the result is Ty Pennington coming over), just a teensy facelift to turn your bedroom into a romantic haven for the two of you. After all, us ladies thrive on the warm and fuzzies.

3. Flannel sheets

My winter sex theory is: If you want me to strip off my nice warm clothes, then you need to offer me an equally warm location for all that shivering nakedness. Owning several sets of flannel sheets should basically become a winter sex law.

4. Take a bath together

Same idea as above: Make sure you have a hot and steamy place to get hot and steamy.

5. Bring sexy back

Even though your winter style staples include slouchy sweaters and Flashdance-inspired leg warmers, that doesn’t mean you can’t wear something scandalous underneath. (It’s what’s on the inside that counts, HA.)

6. Layer strategically

Winter layers limit easy access, but if you layer strategically, this doesn’t have to be the case. It’s the best of both worlds: A hot, steamy quicky where you don’t have to get entirely undressed, and a hot, steamy body temperature so he’s not stuck doing an icicle.

How do you keep winter sex from getting all… well, wintery?

Related on EcoSalon

9 Natural Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

The 9 Most Empowering Sex Positions for Women: Female Sexuality Remixed

The Joy of Solo Sex (Is Masturbation the New Kale?)

Image: Aimee Custis Photography

The post 6 Ways to Make Winter Sex… Well, Sexy appeared first on EcoSalon.

Have a hate-on for your beau’s entourage? Here’s how to make sure it doesn’t cause relationship problems.

Once upon a time, you fell in love with your guy – but not his friends. Some of them are okay, while others you fantasize hitting with your car, and you’ve actually Googled “how to make voodoo dolls” with them in mind. The good news is: You’re not alone.

According to a recent study, 1 in 4 women don’t like their partner’s friends. The bad news is: 1 in 10 say that has put a strain on their relationship, and you don’t want this to be you.

There are several reasons these feelings creep to the surface:

1. You’re projecting relationship problems onto his friends.
“Take a deeper look at the relationship and what’s really bothering you,” says relationship expert April Masini. “Chances are his friends might not be so bad, you’re just upset about the dynamic between the two of you.” Sure, it’s easier to point fingers in the short run, but in the long run, it’s a waste of energy.

2. Jealousy.
Sometimes you might feel like his friends take away ‘quality time’ that should be spent with you, or they get to see a more fun-loving side to him, since you’re both so busy with the daily grind.

3. Some friends are a bad influence.
“They may be single (or married and unhappy) and urge your partner to meet women, party harder than normal, and even cheat,” says psychotherapist and relationship expert Kimberly Moffit, so then you start to wonder if your beau’s as big a jerk as his friends.

4. You’ve secretly never liked his friends, but thought if you changed him, he’d eventually change his friends.
“There’s a big difference between a guy who’s friends are exactly who they were when she met him, and a guy who’s changed his friends and behavior since she’s met him,” says Masini. “The latter usually indicates some other a problem with him or relationship problems.” Otherwise, it’s not fair to expect him to change when he never hid his friends from you to begin with.

However, there’s no reason why disliking his friends should mean relationship problems for the two of you. Here’s a survival guide for when you have to deal with these less-than-ideal dudes:

1. Reframe your perspective.
Focus less on what you feel he should get from his friendships, and ask yourself what he actually does get from them. In understanding why they’re friends, it will help you better accept his choices.

“Remember that male relationships with friends are different than ours,” says Moffit. “Often times, a man has had his BFFs since grade school, and they’re more like brothers than friends.”

2. Find common ground.
Are there things you and his friends do have in common? Focus your conversations on neutral ground to help you look past the things that make you grind your teeth.

3. At the very least, be civil.
When they pop by for a poker night, you don’t want to fill the air with hostility. Bust out your own poker face so you at least don’t come off as hostile. Your only goal is to not create tension between him and his friends, or relationship problems between him and yourself.

4. Invite your own friends into the equation.
If you have a few friends over at the same time as your guy, it’ll help you cope and stay distracted.

5. Avoid them if you need to.
If you feel like you’ve tried everything and you just can’t take it anymore – why be fake? Just be honest with your beau and tell him you’ll find something else to do with your own friends (without making him feel bad, of course).

6. Take a valium.
KIDDING.

“When it comes right down to it, you need to trust your man,” says Moffit. “Relationships are all about trust, and if your partner is doing things counter-productive to your relationship, then trust me, you can’t blame his friends – he made those choices all on his own.”

Have you ever let your sig-o’s friends cause relationship problems?

Related on EcoSalon

8 Bad Habits Your Boyfriend Has (and How to Handle Them)

8 Relationship Boundaries You Should Never Cross

Love and War: How to Fight Without Ruining Your Relationship

Image: Lara Cores

The post How to Avoid Relationship Problems When You Can’t Stand His Friends appeared first on EcoSalon.