Neon flashing signs that you’re kinda sorta totally dating a man-child. Good luck with that.

I’ve been on the fence about having kids for so long that my uterus has cobwebs in it. The day I (almost) decided I didn’t want to have kids was the day I realized I was dating one. Urban Dictionary defines a man-child as “A child who outwardly appears like an adult—conventionally this means a full-grown male that acts immaturely, or pursues childish interests.” And boy did he ever. All I needed was one of those “Romper Room” mirrors and I was set.

Admittedly, I played a huge role in encouraging common man-child behavior, though I didn’t know it at the time—and maybe you are too. Here, 11 signs you’re dating a man-child:

1. He never thinks about the future

But he sure does love to talk about it. Man-children have this pesky habit of sporadically acting like they’re ambitious and have lofty goals in life by sounding off about them as vaguely as possible… while smoking a joint. Pretty sure you’re not going to get anywhere managing a bowling alley, dude.

2. He gets in trouble (like, a lot)

When he isn’t being stopped for speeding, he’s getting a ticket for being drunk in public, or giving you a call post-bar fight. At 4 a.m. From the emergency room.

3. He never takes the blame

Even when you have legitimate physical proof that he’s done something wrong, he’ll twist everything around so that he’s the victim, then finish off his Oscar-winning performance with his orphan face. You know the one I’m talking about.

4. He always tries to win arguments

Real men know this isn’t possible.

5. He can’t fix anything

Not that he has to build you a house like McDreamy or anything, but he should be able to install a new towel rack (especially since he’s the one who broke it) without bursting into tears. Or be employed long enough to hire someone to install it.

6. Cleaning? Puh-lease

There’s your version of clean, then there’s his version of clean—and since his version of clean requires you to clean once he’s done anyway, why bother?

7. If he’s not playing video games, he’s not conscious

Good lawd, the video games. He has more conversations with an 11-year-old living in another state than he does you.

8. He’s passive aggressive

It’s the man-child version of a temper tantrum: He doesn’t get his way, so he shuts down and finds subtle ways to make your life difficult. Buy him some Pampers and call it a day.

9. He doesn’t take care of you

When he’s sick, he’s a big effing baby about it. When you’re sick, he’s a big effing baby about it. Even though you’re the one with food poisoning and fluids spewing out from every direction, you’re somehow the one comforting him and catering to his needs—or he leaves you high and dry until the virus passes. So thoughtful.

10. He’s all about sex… and basically nothing else

Make-up sex is great and everything, but man-children don’t seem to understand the concept that in order to have make-up sex, a resolution has to come to pass. Otherwise, we’re just handing over our dignity.

11. He’s an anchor

If you’re a fraction of the woman you used to be and he’s the reason, run. Run as fast as you fucking can.

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Man-child image via Shutterstock

The post 11 Signs You’re Totally Dating a Man-Child appeared first on EcoSalon.

Thank goodness the woman-child is a common character in modern film. Because without this weird, kind of awkward, and a bit inappropriate character, I wouldn’t relate to (or find humor in) many female roles.

Recently, the Huffington Post published an in-depth piece exploring the woman-child. The woman-child is a female who doesn’t really have her shit together, and doesn’t really care. She may be out of work, in a “in-between” job, or she may be crashing in a family member’s basement. Often times, she parties a bunch and is a bit, well, unreliable.

So, why is the woman-child a valid think-piece? Because until recently, this character has often been male. We all know the man-child quite well. These are the roles that are often filled by Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler, and Seth Rogan. Now, people looove the man-child. That’s why this character has been used over and over again in film. But the woman-child? She’s had a harder time garnering a big audience.

The Huffington Post got Paul Feig, big-time woman-child supporter and film director, to comment on one of his popular woman-child characters.

“‘Audiences who are not as used to it need something to root for with a groundless female character,” said ‘Bridesmaids’ director Paul Feig. ‘We found that a bit of a challenge — how do we get people to stay invested in [Annie]?

Classically, male characters have been able to get away with that more in the past,’ he said. ‘There’s this weird thing ingrained in our culture that it’s no fun to watch a woman out of control. You know, versus with a guy out of control, where the idea is that’s just what they do.'”

Ah, how true. Also true: Women IRL have a harder time going through rough periods in their lives. Women: Just like men, but different, because we’re women (and society has a big issue with that).

Now, I’m betting a large portion of our readership kind of digs the woman-child. So, here are a few films you can check out that feature the oh-so unlovable woman-child:

“Bridesmaids”

“Obvious Child”

“Frances Ha”

“Happy Christmas”

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Image of drunk woman on Shutterstock

The post The Woman-Child is Catching Up with the Man-Child appeared first on EcoSalon.