ColumnStipple that fennel emulsion with cold-pressed chervil oil and serve.

The signs are clear.

You can name the five local artisan cheeses served at your neighborhood wine bar, and you have come to accept the fact that one of them comes from more than 100 miles away. At your dinner parties, you inevitably hear “You should start a restaurant!” at least once before the main course is even served. Your liquor cabinet includes various home distilled bottles that verge on being illegal. You’ve eaten at least one dessert or baked good made with butternut squash in the last week. You drizzle olive oil on your ice cream. You scoff at fellow diners who do not instinctively question the origin of their meat, or inquire after the cow’s/chicken’s/salmon’s name.

Yes, the time has come: You’re ready to channel your foodie chops into a full time gig.

But before you go scoping out the latest empty warehouse space and decorate it with minimalist salvaged furniture and soy tea lights, take some time to focus on your menu. Foodie Underground has put together a foolproof guide to help you along your way to launching a successful business, one that’s sure to get you plenty of write-ups in the blogosphere and, more importantly, tweets from food nerds.

Aperitif

Bourbon, bitters and definitely something infused, preferably with bacon.

Champagne and elderflower.

Appetizers

Choose either a dynamic or intentionally plain name for this section of the menu. Anything in French will do, or simple phrases like “small plates.” Then make sure to have at least two of the following:

Wilted bitter greens.

Some type of carb with crust cut off.

A basket of bread studded with as much farmhouse cheddar or bacon as possible. Rosemary is so 2005.

Goat cheese. Preferably on beets, but other roots will do in a pinch. Think parsnips or rutabaga.

Braised greens on brioche. Both are on foodie menus everywhere, but in such an inventive pairing? Sure to get you a write up.

Main course

May also be referred to as “Mains.”

Creamy polenta. Garnish with bacon.

Roasted [free range chicken or alternatively, any extremely tiny poultry] with heirloom [insert root vegetable] atop fennel [emulsion, sauce, or stew]. Garnish with bacon.

Pan-fried offal seared in duck fat. Garnish with bacon.

Cured [insert pig part] with medium-rare [insert fatty pig part] and grapes.

Something Scandinavian would be nice, like pickled [anything] with an aquavit, lingonberry, dill sauce, but call it glaze.

Something French, that includes at least two prepositions written in italics.

Something soulful. Mashed fingerling potatoes with macaroni and cheese is a great start as long as you garnish with bacon.

Something that inspires the diner to use the word “locavore” in a sentence.

Dessert

Caramelized fruit with toasted hazelnuts drizzled in olive oil.

Hand-cranked ice cream flavored with a savory ingredient. Think black tea, coriander or bacon.

Anything baked in a ramekin.

Creme brulee with locally grown lavender, seasoned with bee pollen.

Cappuccino, as long as it is shade grown and isn’t – whatever you do – wet.

Other tips

Get a logo in Helvetica.

Accept cash only. Plastic would simply ruin the authenticity of the experience.

Hand write your menu. Or choose a typewriter font.

Stick to lowercase letters, or all caps, but make sure it’s one or the other.

Serve your booze in Mason Jars, your water in old wine bottles, and if you’re going for a more upscale feel, your housemade seltzer in bottles that close with a wire clasp.

Hang up some art, preferably a framed typography poster.

Paint your back wall in chalkboard paint and write up the day’s specials in cursive.

Have some pink Himalayan salt somewhere, ideally as a votive candle holder.

And when you’re finally open for business, be sure to let us know, because there’s nothing we love more than spending an evening in a low lit restaurant that’s painfully hip. We’ll bring cash, we promise.

Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s weekly column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground, discovering what’s new and different in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to the culinary avant garde.

Images: Anna Brones

The post Foodie Underground: Formulating the Foolproof Foodie Menu appeared first on EcoSalon.

So, what’s on the menu? Now that the chaos of the traditional November feast is but a faint memory, is your menu already lined with dishes fit for a photograph and waiting to flirt with your palate? Admittedly, it may be a little too soon (do you still have leftovers lingering in the fridge?) to write the menu for your next gathering, but the following will give you one more thing (resource) to be grateful for.

What Katie Ate is a blog chronicling the culinary adventures of food stylist and photographer Katie Quinn Davies. Now, I realize that recreating the delicious recipes sprinkled around her blog will undoubtedly not be quite as poetically photogenic, but your taste buds will be just as pleased (you can always eat with your eyes closed).

Ms. Davies’ blog is undeniably one of the most aesthetically lovely places of online real estate, yet it’s laced with pragmatic recipes and confections that allow you to get knee deep in ingredients, baking, and sautéing. What Katie Ate is located in Australia, so there is a touch of the southern hemisphere in her foodie addiction.

Next time you need to consult a cookbook for recipes, peruse the pages of What Katie Ate.

So, what’s on the menu?

(All images by Katie Quinn Davies from What Katie Ate.)

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The only thing I love more than design is food. It only seems natural that my heart flutters with pitters and patters when I stumble across a restaurant where the delicious design rivals the elegant menu. Tartinery is one such place; this clever little space, and source of French bistro food, is just one more reason to visit Manhattan.

I want to devour the industrial elements, the tables embellished with pragmatic typography, the texture of exposed brick, the soft powder of a chalk menu, and rough, raw wood. And, yes, that’s a living tree growing comfortably under high ceilings, flanked by reclaimed wood benches. It’s beautiful and savory, and we haven’t even touched on the menu (which is also, well, beautiful and savory).

Here’s an excerpt from the Tartinery website…

Tartinery is the modern version of the traditional French bistro. Its concept, inevitably, revolves around the Tartine, which can be described as a classic and gourmet open-faced sandwich served on a razor-thin slice of toasted bread. Of course, our feature bread is the well-renowed Poilane country bread from St Germain-des-Pres in Paris. We have taken a no fuss approach to French cuisine by going back to basics and letting the ingredients do the talking. The menu is simple, healthy and authentic. In addition, we also offer typical salads, seasonal soups (hot & chilled), homemade desserts, freshly squeezed juices and a unique selection of boutique and organic wines. The entire menu is chalk-written on the wall above the concrete bar. Chalk walls are also found in the restrooms, where customers can leave their own personal messages. The industrial decor is a tactful blend of New York classics and european soul. Raw and reclaimed materials form the roof of the restaurant and contribute to the retro contemporary feel.  We seek to promote a culture defined by “retro-innovation” – to capture the best of the past and merge it with the best of the modern. This notion symbolizes the perfect equilibrium between traditional catering and an innovative business model tailored to today’s consumer needs.

Tartinery has been added to my Manhattan to-do list (along with Interieurs). There is only one question left. What do I get my hands on first? The misty flour of Poilane country bread or the chalk residue from the message I will undoubtedly leave in the restroom?

(This scrumptious restaurant was discovered on Haute Design.  Images from the Tartinery website via Haute Design.)

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