So, you want to move in together. You’re head over heels and feel as if your innards transformed into warm, sugary rainbow goo. Cut to six months later… It’s not like you’re unhappy that you moved in with the love of your life… it’s just that you’d rather them not do the dishes, laundry, etc., the way they do…

Avoid all those annoying, mind-numbing, stupid (because they are stupid) fights about dishes, quirks, and more, by addressing your daily routines with your love before you move in together.

1. Talk about your stuff

If you decide to move in with your partner, you’re going to have to live with his stuff, too. Yes, all those old posters, chipped glassware, and cat-scratched chairs are now yours! And don’t forget about your crap: He’s going to have to embrace your LPs, lava lamps, and beauty crap, too. Living with someone means embracing their style. You don’t have to love it, and you certainly don’t have to display the stuff each of you hate in the main rooms, but you do have to embrace it.

2. Talk about your daily routines

If you’ve been dating for a while, you probably already know your partner’s little quirks. Maybe she sleeps at an angle, or perhaps she has to spend 30 minutes in silence every morning while she connects to her soul. You probably don’t get any of it, but you best realize that those routines are here to stay. If you have any issues with her daily routines, talk to her about them. A compromise can often be struck.

In addition to addressing your partner’s routines, you two should probably make a few new routines. Make a cleaning and cooking schedule so no one feels like they’re doing all the housework.

3. Talk about your quirks

So, you say you’re normal… I don’t buy it. I’ve never, ever lived with a person who doesn’t have some weird quirk that doesn’t get on my nerves. Recognize that if your partner does this “little thing” that drives you up the wall (like obsessively cleaning, checking the locks, forgetting to turn the light off in the bathroom…) they are probably going to keep doing those things once you live together.

If your love has a quirk that drives you a bit nutty, talk about it in a compassionate way. While he still may indulge this quirk on occasion, he’ll at least know that his actions may be frustrating to you, and he can curb what’s he’s doing. Sometimes the smallest amount of acknowledgment and change can make formerly annoying quirks endearing… eventually.

And last, but not least:

4. Money

If you and your partner don’t talk about bills, payment schedules, and debt before you move in, you are going to run into problems… big problems. Couples who don’t address money issues head-on inevitably fight. Clear up who is paying for what before you sign the lease.

Do you have any suggestions about how to live with your partner with ease? When did you move in with your partner? Was it difficult?

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Image: Christopher

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Roses are red, violets are blue, everything was great ‘til he moved in with you.

Couples move in for all sorts of reasons: love, convenience, flood damage, rodents. Using the above as a very rough estimation, that means only 25% of move-ins are intentional. Wait. A whopping three quarters of co-habitating partners are living together by accident? It’s entirely possible. No wonder 50% of marriages end in divorce.

According to Airbnb, a global network that hooks travelers up with hyper-local accommodations (be it an empty apartment or cozy corner in a loft), the love shack needn’t come crashing down quite so hard.

Here’s how:

The trend of house swapping and shelter sharing is as current as typography. Like the font Helvetica, a good sublet will suit just about every occasion. An apartment swap in Paris, summer in Bushwick, campaigning in Washington – all housing conundrums easily remedied with a sublease. Hidden in that clause, too, is an opportunity to test-drive your significant other’s long-term potential.

Airbnb conducted a poll that found 58% of women would prefer a test move-in with their lover but rent being what it is, all too often the bachelorette pad is sacrificed in the melee of good sex or a bed bug infestation.

The company provides monthly sublets in 17,745 cities and 188 countries. It’s a eureka solution, and an opportunity to take a more long-view approach on your relationship before commingling cutlery.

No matter what kind of relationship you’re in, it’s a win-win. For example,

Young lovers:

The hot new boyfriend has a horrid roommate, and so do you. On the other hand, your downtown lover also a gaming habit you’re not so sure about. Get a sublet, live month-to-month in a furnished pad before jumping into a 12-month lease.

Long-distance:

Are you sleepless in Seattle? Awww, that’s about as cute as Meg Ryan’s pantsuit in 1993 (to say nothing of Rosie’s shoulder pads).

We’re in the middle of a housing crisis. You’d have to be as codependent as Alice Hill to give up your Harvard Square apartment for some dude you Skype with on Friday nights. Test-drive and keep your mortgage paid by listing your apartment on Airbnb first.

Newlyweds:

Kate Winslet is a city girl. Country life drives her bonkers. The suburbs leave her feeling unfulfilled. Yet in role after role, she ends up barefoot and pregnant in the ‘burbs and it never ends well. If you find yourself recently married, do not pull a Winslet and move to suburbia just because Leo asks you to. Trade in your East Village apartment for a sublet on Metro North in three-month increments. Move back to the city, try commuting again. Then decide if your happily ever after resides in New Rochelle.

Images: CinemaSeries; IMDB; Ali Leila; IMDB

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