ColumnCold and flu season is almost upon us, but I’m not going to tell you to load up on echinacea or get a flu shot. I’d like to suggest a novel way to boost your immune system – have lots and LOTS of sex.

It’s early fall. You’ve heard that something is going around, and you feel a tickle in your throat. Your first instinct might be to tell your partner to slowly back away, lest you spread those nasty germs. But your instincts, at least in this case, are probably wrong: sex can boost your immune system, helping you ward off those pesky, snotty invaders.

A study from 2004 showed that people who have sex once or twice a week have higher levels of immunoglobulin A, or lgA – one of the most important defenses your body has against invading organisms.

Human touch lowers cortisol, so you don’t even have to go all the way – just a bit of cuddling, stroking and kissing can do the trick — even getting a massage can help. Skin-to-skin touching is the trigger for cortisol support, something we require in the delicate dance of hormonal balance. But getting your orgasm on brings the suite of benefits to a higher level, as you’ll soon see.

Women have it better than dudes when it comes to the immunity game, because we naturally produce estrogen, linked to an enzyme called Caspase-12, which blocks the inflammatory process. (Men do have estrogen, just in much smaller amounts.) And guess what, girls? Having regular sex increases your estrogen, and not the bad kind as we see in estrogen-dominance. The sweet side benefit of all this is that estrogen is good for your skin and your mood. That post-coital glow is really a thing – estrogen helps your body produce collagen. So skip the botox and go for a nice boink instead.

Oxytocin, the chemical released at orgasm, is a pain reliever and stress-reducer. So do your best to make sure that you get the orgasm you deserve when you have sex. Ask for it if it doesn’t seem to be forthcoming – you deserve it. If partnered sex isn’t in the cards for you as often as you’d like, solo sex offers many of the protective immune benefits that you want during cold and flu season – so don’t assume you’re out of luck – you can boost your immune system with self-pleasure, too.

The “more I get, the more I want” principle applies here as well. Estrogen boosts your sex drive – and having sex makes you produce more estrogen. You see how this delightful hormonal merry go round works, do you not? This is in part why we tend to be hornier in the days leading up to ovulation, when our estrogen is surging. Women’s sex drive flattens after ovulation, when progesterone is the major hormonal player. Progesterone makes you sleepy and PMS-y, horny, not so much.

However, if we focus on having lots of sex (or masturbating) throughout the cycle, at minimum once or twice a week, we can boost our immune system by encouraging healthy estrogen levels. There will be peaks and valleys, but having more sex (or solo sex) even when you’re at your peak estrogen level will help you to avoid that libido-plummet that can begin to feel inevitable after ovulation. This is in part why I created the #30DayOrgasmChallenge — to encourage people to have orgasms as early and often as possible.

Sex also improves sleep, and healthy sleep is basically the key to everything that is good and holy – including a strong immune system. A recent study showed that the oxytocin release paired with the cortisol-lowering effects of sex leave your body in a super relaxed state – the perfect conditions for a beautiful night’s rest.

Another sleep-inducing hormone called prolactin floods the brain at orgasm. The whole thing about women being chatty after sex vs. men rolling over and wanting to sleep is probably a bit of cultural programming – sex primes both genders for sleep. The real truth here is that men are probably having more orgasms than women are, and so the women are left wanting while the men’s brains turn off. You can shift this, again, but making sure you get the orgasm you deserve.

This is one-hundred percent anecdotal, but when I caught the abysmal flu that was going around in the winter of 2013, against my better judgment, I had sex. And I swear to the gods of congestion – I was instantly better. Sex did what all my obsessive ginger/garlic eating, green juice drinking, and neti-pot slinging could not. Just sayin’. And last winter I didn’t get sick once – guess why?

This isn’t to say that having loads of sex means you can slack off on the basic rules of cold and flu season, especially hygiene. If this recent study doesn’t freak you out about the important of hand-washing, I don’t know what will.

Will you boost your immune system by adding sex to your anti-cold and flu arsenal this season? Let me know by tweeting at me @ecosexuality.

Here’s to good health (and equal amounts of pleasure).

Got a question for Stefanie? Email stefanie@ecosalon.com and she’ll answer it in the next Sexual Healing column.

Keep in touch with Stefanie on Twitter: @ecosexuality

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The post Boinking to Boost Your Immune System the Pleasurable Way: Sexual Healing appeared first on EcoSalon.

ColumnPut away your ice buckets, darlings, because it’s time to take on a much more pleasurable challenge, one that may help you achieve better orgasms – and perhaps create a better world.

How are your orgasms, anyway? Are you having enough of them? Are you having any at all? Are they as good as they used to be? Whether single or partnered or poly, we women tend not to prioritize pleasure. Orgasm is more like the sweet icing on the cake that you hope to taste now and again, but how often do we even take a slice of cake to begin with? I want you to have your cake and eat too. And then have seconds and thirds and fourths and fifths. (Maybe the whole cake.)

I remind myself on the regular that pleasure is not a gift from the universe that’s bestowed from on high; it’s something we must offer to ourselves — something we must demand. Even if we have to use an excuse to take pleasure, or put it on our calendar like a dentist appointment, it should not be back-burnered. I’ve written about it before: orgasm is as important as brushing your teeth and taking off your makeup before bed. It’s as important as your yoga class and your kale salad. It’s both prevention and cure rolled into one. And if yours are meh, there is much you can do to have better orgasms.

Here is an abbreviated list of the health benefits of orgasm, none of which have anything to do with how good they feel:

• Reduces migraine pain

• Improves immunity (cures the common cold)

• Oxytocin = dopamine = better mood

• Regulates menstrual cycle, reduces cramps

Sometimes we don’t give ourselves pleasure because we tell ourselves we’re too tired and we can’t be bothered. The pursuit of better orgasms, or the pursuit of orgasms, period, can be a huge problem for partnered people. Solo sex is fraught when you have a partner who is supposed to be your pleasure-provider. Some people who are relatively comfortable with partnered sex retain Catholic guilt (no matter their religion) about masturbation in any form.

The list of excuses is long: I can’t reach for my orgasm because my husband/boyfriend/girlfriend is going to be jealous or angry or just annoyed. Or I had one yesterday. Or I had one last week. Or I’m too busy. Or the kids need me. Or work needs me. Or I’ll just take care of it tomorrow. Or I don’t feel attractive enough: I’m not even attracted to myself.

There are endless reasons we subconsciously “forget” to seek orgasms. Ask yourself: Is sexual shame the reason you conveniently “forget” to include pleasure in your life every day?

Some women want orgasms, or think they want them, but then try and can’t have them. Some used to have them but don’t anymore — boredom or frustration with a partner is a common cause. Anorgasmia is sadly extremely common for women. Sexual dysfunction can be physiological, but most often it’s psychological. Sometimes a woman presents as depressed, with low libido, and is given an anti-depressant as a cure – which then depletes her libido even more. Many women just throw in the towel at this stage, assuming sexual pleasure must be given up: better orgasms just aren’t in the cards. A lot of women give up at menopause, assuming that what our culture says about women of a certain age is true (hint: it’s definitely not true).

Here is what I’m proposing: that we take our orgasms, and thus our lives, to the next level with what I’m calling the #30DayOrgasmChallenge. In the spirit of recent challenges — ice bucket, cinnamon, Mentos, and Diet Coke included, some for good causes and some just absurd, I offer you the one challenge that cannot hurt you — it can only make you feel sublime. (Unless you have some kind of unfortunate sex toy fail.) You don’t have to make a video of your challenge (unless that’s how you roll).

Think of the #30DayOrgasmChallenge like a month-long telethon. You should share your milestones, if you’re so inclined. Tweet it, post on Facebook, and/or record your progress on your Tumblr. Raise money like you would for a 5k run for charity — and donate it to Lady Parts Justice or Planned Parenthood. But more important, just do it: have one orgasm a day for the next 30 days. Start whenever you feel the call, but some options are (if you’re menstruating) on the first day of your cycle or right after your period. If you’re past your reproductive years you might want to begin on the next new or full moon.

You can link to this article and post something like this: I’m taking the #30DayOrgasmChallenge to raise money for for women’s health and reproductive justice. Donate to an excellent cause, cheer me on, and I’ll update you on my daily progress!

Break out your toys, your fingers, your partner’s fingers (and other parts), your trusty bathroom faucet. Promise yourself that once a day, every single day for the next thirty days, you will make an effort to have an orgasm. Whether your current orgasms are awesomely toe-curling, boring and reliable as reruns of “Friends”, or barely there, getting into this daily practice will, if nothing else, bring you into intimate contact with what makes your pleasure tick and click. Like a yoga or meditation practice, the #30DayOrgasmChallenge deepens as it goes. Speaking of meditation, another option for your orgasms is orgasmic meditation. (Read about it here and here.)

Women are very often told that a sexual dysfunction is their fate. A very normal erosion of attraction to a long-term partner doesn’t have to end your sex life, however. That thing they told you about attraction lasting forever, as long as you have good companionship — that was a load of bunk. Science is showing us in a variety of ways how women are more libidinous than men, but not just that — that we actually require sexual variety more than men. We’ve been taught the reverse. There is a lot of unlearning to do before we can fully claim our pleasure without negotiation, handwringing, and shame.

Yet more reasons to take the #30DayOrgasmChallenge, and tell your friends to take it too. There’s no official start date, but when you begin, tweet me @ecosexuality with the hashtag #30DayOrgasmChallenge or #PleasurePractice. I’m going to do a follow up and share your stories in early October. Let’s change the world, one orgasm at a time.

Keep in touch with Stefanie on Twitter: @ecosexuality

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ColumnYou meditate, practice yoga, eat organic quinoa, sip green juice and even shop sustainably. But there’s one more thing that you can (and you should, you really should) do regularly, one that’s more fun than all of the above: have an orgasm. When is the last time you had one?

Recent studies show that an orgasm a day can truly keep the doctor away. From pain relief to cardiac protection, the almighty orgasm is your new vitamin C – let’s call it vitamin O.

Here are just a few of the benefits of regular orgasms:

• Increases pelvic floor strength. (I’ll take that over a Pilates mat class, thank you very much.)
• Prevents cervical infections and helps relieve urinary tract infections.
• Helps combat insomnia by releasing dopamine and oxytocin.
• Increases cardiovascular health.
• Cure for menstrual pain, again, thanks to oxytocin.
• Burns up to 100 calories.
• The ultimate stress-reliever.

Here’s what Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a Stanford-trained neuroscientist, says about the power of orgasm:

“Orgasm is a naturally powerful physiological process. In orgasm, essentially all systems of the brain are highly activated, including the insula, amygdala, and somatosensory cortex. The limbic system, a full one-third of the brain that feels visceral sensation seems to facilitate human connection – reading faces, interpreting tone of voice, picking up non-verbal cues – it also becomes activated… As the entire nervous system, from brain to peripheral nerves becomes activated, the parasympathetic and sympathetic divisions of the nervous system are simultaneously activated. Through orgasm, you can feel “gut responses” at a deep, physiological level.”

But, you’re saying to yourself, I haven’t been able to have an orgasm during sex with my new (or old) partner. Or, wait a second – I’m totally single right now. Yes, it’s true that having an orgasm during vaginal penetration or other forms of partnered sex isn’t possible for all women (we’ll work on this perfectly normal, common issue in a future column). Your relationship status doesn’t mean you can’t have regular orgasms, dear. You have hands, don’t you? You may even have a sex toy in your night table drawer (vibrators, incidentally, will also be covered soon in this space). Everyone jumps to the conclusion that sex requires someone else in the room, but all a good session requires is a stimulating tool and your own imagination. Solo sex is still sex, and it can be great sex, according to the legendary Betty Dodson, author of Sex For One: The Joy of Self Loving.

Yet knowing that orgasms are the ticket to good health shouldn’t be a source of stress (to be checked off next to “buy goji berries” on your to-do list). They’re more like a nice hot bath, a glass of Pinot, or a handful of dark, luscious chocolate. All of these health-boosting activities are the sort of thing you look forward to all day, especially when busy with other, much less lovely tasks. That said, if having an orgasm every single day feels like too much to start, why not aim for one a week?

We’ve just scratched the surface of physiological benefits of orgasm here. But just like exercise, even if you have to make yourself do it at first, masturbating regularly can improve your self-worth over time. Much of sex, and masturbation in particular, carries a patina a shame, even if it’s deeply buried in your subconscious. So for now, if you must, tell yourself you need to have an orgasm, just because it’s easier than Pilates. But down the line, your overall sexual health, in partnered sex, is bound to improve. Claim your pleasure, and join the Sexual Revolution 2.0 – because it’s happening whether or not you choose to participate.

Whether or not you’re currently involved, and hell – if your lover is sleeping next to you, but you didn’t receive an orgasm from him or her tonight – go get your own, girl. It’s in your own hands.

Speaking of the power of orgasm, check this out:

THE ORGASM EXPERIENCE: ONETASTE PRESENTS LARGEST CONFERENCE ON FEMALE ORGASM: AUGUST 2013 IN SAN FRANCISCO

On August 9^th,10^th, and 11^th one-thousand orgasm enthusiasts from all over the world will come together at the Regency Center in San Francisco to learn about, discuss, and discover the medical benefits of female orgasm. In particular, presenting medical doctors, authors, and conference participants will focus on a fifteen minute ‘practice’ that is rapidly gaining popularity in the US and abroad named ‘Orgasmic Meditation’ or ‘OM.’ Orgasmic Meditation (OM) has been featured in media outlets such as Cosmopolitan, the New York Times, Playboy and South By South West. http://thetimefororgasm.us/

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Keep in touch with Stefanie on Twitter: @ecosexuality

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It’s not preposterous to think your next resource for revamping your home is not ASID but ANFA: The Academy of Neuroscience for Architecture.

It is the mission of this think tank, and others like it, to promote and advance knowledge bridging neuroscience research to how we humans respond to our built environments.

Apparently, so much new information in this area has surfaced in the last two decades, excited architects, designers and scientists are calling it the new Renaissance in physical design.

There are even books being published on the subject, such as Inquiry By Design: Environment Behavior/Neuroscience in Architecture, Interiors, Landscape and Planning by John Zeisel, a consultant to ANFA.

His book covers the new field of neuroscience for design by describing the creative design process, how buildings and spaces work , and observations of behavior in the physical environment. We’ve seem a similar collaborative direction in green design as visionaries from various areas of expertise band together to work towards the common goal of sustainability.

Savvy architects and designers have always considered color, light, scale and layout as room elements that are important to pleasing their clients. But the neuroscience aspect goes much deeper to explore how one’s habitat triggers hormones that add stress, invite calm or stimulate thought. A room can even make one feel loved. It’s all about how you’re wired.

For me, order is the mother of invention. When everything is in its place, I’m happy as a meticulous clam. For others, the more disorganized and cluttered the room, the better. Those with teenage daughters know what I’m talking about. It all boils down to controlling all the little things we put in the cage. Hey, it’s true for hamsters and it’s true for us, as well.

“The premise is to consider how each feature of the architectural environment influences certain brain processes such as those involved in stress, emotion and memory,” Eve Edelstein, Ph.D. explains, in a recent article from Oprah. Edelstein, another consultant to ANFA, is an adjunct professor at the NewSchool of Architecture & Design in San Diego.

In terms of tips for influencing happy feelings, these experts point to designing good vantage points in the main gathering rooms, such as the kitchen or great room. Here, the ideal floor plan includes a view of the entryway, a window onto a pretty landscaped yard and a fireplace.

“Being in the kitchen links you to hardwired feelings of comfort – beyond getting food, there’s a sense of protection, warmth, sociability, sharing stories,” says Zeisel. He explains how Alzheimer’s patients need visual clues like pictures and objects to connect them with their lives, and the same clues aid the average homeowner in feeling grounded. These might include family photos or books you’ve read and enjoyed.

Zeisel adds that having a place to feel safe and to gather is especially important after a busy work day when we can feel anxiety, fear and stress brought on by an adrenaline rush. He says it’s good to face into rooms that you create to see what is going on and feel more in control.

“Then oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and serotonin, associated with relaxation and enjoyment, have a greater chance of being released.”

Other features that help: big windows or a balcony for seeing the weather; curvy edges instead of hard ones on counter, furniture and cabinets to feel more content; original art and sculpture to convey a sense of authenticity and trust; privacy via a room of your own away from the noise.

My favorite component, however, is the idea that rearranging one’s decor is actually a healthy habit that keeps your environs from going stale.

My husband compares me to a little hamster re-shuffling its cage when I spend hours rearranging photo collections and switching around pillows. See! I’m just moving energy, sweetie, and doing that neuroarchitecture thing. Brain scientists say it’s good for me. And think of all the money we’re saving on therapy!

Image: Fernanda Mancini

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