ColumnRand Paul surrenders; the Senator admits losing the War on Women during a  four-man panel on Fox News debates.

I guess Megyn Kelly was in the bathroom gabbing with her lady friends or changing her tampon when Fox News gathered four (white) men for its debate about The War on Women.

Fox’s “All Star Panel” convened in response to Rand Paul’s recent mess of an interview with CNN’s Candy Crowley, in which he said a number of totally out-of-touch things about the War on Women.

Here’s a Rand Paul snippet: “The whole thing with the War on Women, I sort of laughingly say, ‘yeah there might have been,’ but the women are winning it.”

Did I miss the parade? Did I achieve equal pay and not get the memo?

Fox’s Bret Baier, the panel’s host, was a little sheepish as he admitted — during the panel discussion itself — that choosing four men to discuss the War on Women wasn’t the best idea. But the team powered on.

Panelist Charles Krauthammer was annoyed that in discussing Hillary Clinton as a 2016 candidate, Paul went back to the Monica Lewinsky scandal. He wasn’t annoyed because the scandal painted women as either victims, whores or frigid bitches. He was annoyed because that tactic didn’t work the first time, so why try again?

Krauthammer suggested that Republicans instead focus on, “the women’s issue in terms of late-term abortion and other stuff.”

He ripened the battlefield for a good old-fashioned abortion debate — never mind the fact that only 1.2% of all abortions occur after 21 weeks, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

But, if Krauthammer really wants to go there…I got this one. During that CNN interview, Paul did say that the number one cause of poverty is people having kids out of wedlock.

It is? Great. Because if he is right, let’s make birth control free and easily accessible for all men and women. Let’s legalize abortion and make it affordable and easy to access in every part of the country — and cover it under every insurance policy.

Hell, while we’re at it, let’s legalize gay marriage nationwide so those crazy homos will stop having babies before they get married, and let’s put free condoms in every school bathroom.

I’m sure Paul would agree, given his itch to end poverty via ending pregnancies out of wedlock.

Ugh. I just remembered that Paul tried to make all abortions illegal when he co-sponsored the Life at Conception act, and he opposes the Obamacare birth control insurance coverage mandate.

Now I’m just at a loss.

Back to the braintrust, the Fox News panel. Charles Lane was irritated with Paul for getting his stats wrong, which he did.

The guys looked around but still couldn’t find Megyn, so they cut to footage of Democratic strategist Penny Lee saying that the Republicans’ attempt to unearth the Lewinsky scandal is “very foolish.”

Foolish indeed. If you want to win the War on Women and keep Clinton out of the oval office, it’s best to go right for the jugular: Hillary’s hair.

That Happened is Libby Lowe’s weekly column for EcoSalon analyzing media, news and pop culture through a feminist lens. Keep in touch with Libby @LibbyLowe.

Image: Gage Skidmore

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