Dudes – the friendzone isn’t a real place. And women aren’t putting you in this abstract friendzone to hurt or deceive you.

Friendzoning is the wonderfully catchy term disgruntled fellas have coined that describes when a woman they are hanging out with only sees them as a friend — not a romantic partner. So, what should guys really call this? Perhaps what it is: The girl a guy likes who she doesn’t want to date — she just wants to be friends.

While the term friendzone isn’t all that terrible, it’s the way it’s used by men — and men’s magazines — that gets a little, uh, weird.

Recently, Jezebel reported on the strange use of the term (and the equally odd advice on how to get out of the “zone”) from Esquire.

Esquire published a piece called “The Do’s and Don’ts of Dressing to Get Out of the Friend Zone,” that told men if they dressed a certain way (aka “women are just interested in how you look, doofus!”) they will free themselves from the dreaded world of being “just friends.”

I’m sorry, but that’s an absolute load of hooey. If a woman decides she just wants to be friends with you, there’s really nothing you can do to change her mind. All you can do is:

1. Express your feelings to your friend.

2. Ask her if she wants to give dating a shot.

3. If she declines then say, “cool.” If you don’t want to just be friends that’s fine. Move on and find someone new.

Now, here’s what you don’t do:

1. Change your appearance.

2. Try to convince a girl you’re dating material.

3. Convince yourself that a woman is a total bitch if she “friendzoned” you, bro.

Pretty simple, really.

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Sex by Numbers: The American Girl’s Guide to European Men

Image: Cali4beach

The post She’s Not Putting You in the ‘Friendzone’ – She Just Doesn’t Want to Date You appeared first on EcoSalon.