Five days of sex ed in one video.

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I love me a good sex ed lecture. Surprisingly, one of the best I’ve recently heard was delivered by John Oliver. Go figure.

Watch the video below to hear Oliver explain why sex ed is so bad.

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The “Key & Peele” show doesn’t disappoint. And while I’ve always chuckled at the duo’s bits, this one about menstruation is so on point.

In the bit “Menstruation Orientation,” Key & Peele tell a room full of men about women’s periods. And I’ve got to admit — it very well may be better than any info guys get in sex ed. While the whole damn thing is hilarious, I’m a fan of this particular part: “We know you don’t want to hear about it, but they don’t want to have it!”

Word.

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I know a thing or two about sex education. Sure, I went through the god awful courses in junior high and high school. I gazed at the photos of untreated herpes and found out that sex makes babies. But I also wrote my master’s thesis – around 100 pages of research that no one will ever read but my thesis committee and me – about sex education in America.

So, what did I learn from hours and hours of research, and interviewing a few handfuls of teenaged women about their sex lives and experiences in sex education? They learned nothing about sex from sex ed and wished they knew more about all sex acts, contraception and how to own their own sexuality.

Well, thank freaking goodness there is at least one high school teacher out there who gets that sex education needs to focus on sex-positive subjects rather than sex-negative subjects.

In Al Vernacchio’s classes he covers anatomy and safe sex, but he also discusses orgasms and masturbation. The Philadelphia high school teacher doesn’t even show kids those terrible photos of sexually transmitted diseases and infections gone awry.

So, what does Vernacchio do to ensure that teens get the whole picture – the whole, positive picture – about sex and how awesome sex can be? He teaches the following principles and wants to attain the following goals:

1. “Sexuality is a force for good in the universe”: Sex can lead to awesomely close connections with others. If teens are taught that sex is a happy, positive thing, they will most likely respect the entire act more.

2. Get the parents’ support: Sure, this isn’t always easy, but it’s worth doing. He explains that one of the things he does in order to secure parents’ support is to ask them what they want their kids to get out of their relationships. Most any parent will say they want their child to experience love, pleasure and closeness. But what if a parent thinks sex is morally wrong?:

“If someone believes that sex before marriage is morally wrong, one of the things I want to engage that parent about is, OK, how do we help this young person develop the skills so that, if that is a value that they also share, that they actually can achieve that. How do we teach them negotiation skills? How do we teach them how to have conversations about sex and sexuality with partners? Also, what is an appropriate form of connection, pleasure, closeness that they can engage in? For every no we give a kid, we have to give them a yes.”

3. Get the right teachers and parents in on the education: Sex ed should be taught by people who are trained in sexuality education. Also: Parents are often the best resources for kids when teens want to understand the difficult issues, such as “how do I know if I’m still in love with someone?”

4. Sex isn’t dangerous but there can be negative consequences to having it if you aren’t prepared: Unhealthy sex and not understanding safer sex practices can lead to problems. No one wants to have an unintended pregnancy and no one wants a STD. Give kids the right information about understanding their bodies to help them have safer sex.

5. Kids want to understand the emotional side of sex: Teens already know what sex looks like and the various ways it sounds. (Oh, Internet porn!) But they don’t really know what true love means. Kids need and want to understand the emotional, human elements of sex.

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Image: Stuart Caie

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A weekly look at sex and culture, by the numbers.

If anyone has the right to be irritated this week, it’s Kate Middleton. Can’t a Duchess get a little uninterrupted tanning time in? In her royal honor, we’ve dedicated this week’s Sex By Numbers to every woman that just wants to be left alone (there’s an app for that, by the way).

24 Hours: Length of time that a French court gave the gossip magazine Closer to hand over topless photos of The Duchess of Cambridge. Will and Kate won an injunction against the tabloid shortly after the pictures were published on Monday.

1 in 10: Only 10% of sexual harrassment incidences are reported. The Metropolitan Action Committee on Violence Against Women and Children, based in Toronto, has created a helpful app which provides snarky responses to cat calls and ways to dispel unsolicited and inappropriate attention.

60s: When it comes to the sex lives of people over the age of 40, Hollywood has historically left the subject alone, until now. A new film starring Meryl Streep (63) and Tommy Lee Jones (66) is boldly and funnily “acknowledging that sexuality in older age exists.”

90: Thinking about the act of sex outside the context of, well, sex can make the actual mechanics seem kind of off-putting. A new study in the journal PLoS ONE that surveyed 90 women found that sexual arousal lessens gave the “disgust factor” that might otherwise be associated with the exchange of all those bodily fluids.

3rd highest: The state of Texas has the 3rd highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation. Despite this, some parents would still rather opt out of the new sex-ed curriculum that is being adopted by many Texas schools, which aims to take a more realistic approach to the sexual lives of teenagers.

54%: When it comes to sexting, teenagers are doing anything but leaving each other alone. A Los Angeles based study found that 54% of teens know someone that engages in sexting and that the act is usually an indicator of further sexually risky behavior.

64: Women who regularly read magazines such as Cosmopolitan (which has a total of 64 international editions) or others that include scripts about female sexual desire are more likely to “prioritise their sexual desire for their own sake, but not for the male partner.”

80%: Number of Egyptian women who report having experienced some form of sexual harassment. The study, carried out by the Egyptian Centre for Women’s Rights, found most of the victims were wearing headscarves.

Image: Tom Soper Photography

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Defining “legitimate” rape.

Women’s bodies (mysterious and confusing) have played a big political role this year. This week, our magical ability to recognize that we are being “legitimately” raped and, somehow, protect ourselves from getting pregnant is making headlines.

In case you haven’t heard, when asked how he felt about abortion in cases of rape or incest, Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.) said, “From what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare [that rape leads to pregnancy]. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist.”

There are lot and lots of problems with this statement. Let’s start with the continuing confusion about how women’s bodies work. According to this elected official, my vagina (or should I say hoo-hah as not to offend the gentleman from Michigan?) has the ability to know when I am under attack and send off sperm killing vibes that will keep me from getting pregnant.

(Akin doesn’t define what the “ways” are, but I like to imagine that my insides are equipped with those knives that shoot out of the sides of cars in 1950s drag races to cut up the competition, a la Grease, but that’s just me.)

Beyond anatomical stupidity, there’s the greater implications intrinsic in this statement. Let’s say that my “sensors” fail to kick in and I get pregnant. Akin’s claim indicates that I wasn’t raped, legitimately or otherwise. I must have really wanted to have sex — if I hadn’t, I surely would have protected myself, right? This victim-blaming idea isn’t new, unfortunately. Check out Jezebel for a solid primer on the history of morons trying to make rape the woman’s fault.

Then there’s Akin’s assertion that pregnancy after rape is a very rare occurrence. If only there was research … oh wait, there is. According to a 2003 study, pregnancy is twice as likely to occur in cases of rape than in cases of consensual sex.

Akin has apologized and admitted that he is wrong, but that’s not enough. It’s highly disturbing that we live in a world in which an elected official — and as such a person with influence over women’s rights — doesn’t understand how babies are made and blames victims for being raped. First, we need to make sure that everyone has access to sex education. Second, we need to make sure that everyone understands that rape is a violent, criminal act — not a different kind of sex. Third, we need to stop electing people who disagree with those two statements.

If you think Akin should resign, sign this petition!

Image: Jeff Roborson/AP

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