Signs he cares that are just as important as the whole saying “I love you” thing.

It’s easy to understand why his lack of dropping the l-bomb makes you want to drop the f-bomb, but if there’s one thing we’re all familiar with, it’s how hard it is to tell someone how you feel (even when it’s obvious they feel the same way). I know that guys get a lot of flak for their lack of communicating, but to me how he acts is a lot more important than what he says.

I mean, what’s the point of him saying, “I love you,” or the age-old classic, “Everything’s going to be fine,” if he’s not going to back up his words with… well, proof? I’d rather be with a guy who doesn’t gush about his feelings but who’s got your back when the chips are down, as opposed to one who says things will be fine, but leaves the actual achieving it part to you.

Here are 9 sneaky signs he cares that don’t involve words or empty promises:

1. He speaks up

He respects what you have to say, but isn’t afraid to challenge you—not because he’s a jerk, but because he knows that agreeing with everything you say or saying exactly what you want to hear is not the way to win you over. He wants you to know the real him, which is hawt.

2. He sits or stands close to you

When you’re out together, he doesn’t try to create distance or give off the impression that you’re not together. Instead, he sits close to you or makes an effort to stand by you—and when mingling at parties, he makes a point to check in for a quick smooch.

3. He remembers the little things

He remembers things you’ve said to him in the past that are important to you, which means you’re important to him.

4. He texts you just because

We’ve pretty much established that guys aren’t into texting—so when he sends you a cute text or a funny pic, it’s pretty special.

5. He tries to earn your pet’s approval

If he wasn’t planning on sticking around, he wouldn’t try so hard to impress Fluffy to ensure she’s not going to shank him in his sleep.

6. He includes you in his hobbies

Dudes love their hobbies, so if he wants you to join in and share those activities with him, it’s a good sign that he cares about you.

7. He’s not fussy about what you do together

Grocery shopping, laundry, party planning—whatever it is, he’s down. He understands that doing everyday things together are just as important as fancy dates and exotic vacays.

8. He goes to events he’d rather not go to just because you’re going

Of course he doesn’t want to go to your co-worker’s sister’s daughters’s bat mitzvah, but he’ll go just to spend more time with you. Plus, he knows you’d do the same for him.

9. He gives you space

He enjoys spending time with you, but doesn’t flip out when you want to go out with the girls or take some alone time after a bananas day at work. A guy that gives you the space to breathe is totally a keeper.

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