ColumnWhat if we saw snack foods for what they really are?

Cheese puffs, bags of mini chocolate chip cookies and caramel chocolate bars, that’s what good snacks are made of, right?

Of course we all know better than that, but if you were to take a look into the vending machines of most schools over the past few years, you might have thought otherwise. Companies spend around $149 million a year on marketing to kids in schools, most of it going to beverages. To change that, the Obama administration has implemented new rules in regards to food and advertising in schools, part of Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move initiative.

Part of it involves offering up healthier snack foods than the good ol’ regular vending machine options. The new USDA standards include limits on calories, sodium and sugar. Snack foods with grains must have at least 50 percent of whole grains, or have whole grains listed as the first ingredient. That means no more Frito-Lay’s Cheetos Oven Baked Flamin’ Hot Cheese Flavored Snacks and other assorted culinary fineries.

Ready for the really shocking result? Kids are not happy about it. “Michelle Obama is single-handedly ruining my life by changing school lunch and the vending machines,” tweeted a student, one of many complaints that students have been making online. Here are a few more gems from the Twitterverse:

“michelle obama killing me putting whole grain rice krispies treats in the vending machine this is unamerican and just plain cruel”

“Everytime I think of Michelle Obama taking away the good vending machine I just want to eat a big mac! #Youdontownmemichelle #takethat”

“Me and Michelle Obama gonna fight if I dont see chewy sweettarts in the vending machine tomorrow”

Yeah, she’s pretty terrible, that Obama lady. Who does she think she is trying to get you to eat more carrots? That’s just grotesque.

That kind of response is of course ridiculous, and I feel that the only real appropriate counter response to it is this amazing trailer for a fake film called Snackpocalypse.

Ah yes, the issue of snack foods turning kids into zombies.

But wait, that’s not really that absurd of a claim. After all, unhealthy snack foods affect our brains and our bodies. Too much sugar is linked to mental health problems and lethargy. It’s one of the most addictive substances out there – eight times more so than cocaine – and companies are happy to keep feeding it to us, putting us all into a sugar-dazed state. Sound like a zombie apocalypse yet?

Sure, snack foods high in fat and sugar aren’t going to turn you into a real zombie, but how they do make you feel isn’t that far off.

So good on Michelle Obama for working to tighten up nutritional guidelines, and for cracking down on food companies marketing to kids in school. Because if anything, we don’t need fewer guidelines, we need more. Pair that with better education about real food and you can be sure that we’ll be well on our way to avoiding the snackpocalypse.

Related on EcoSalon

20 Best Foods for Your Brain

Crispy Baked Carrot Chips Recipe

Improving the Food System and Fighting Obesity

This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’ weekly column at EcoSalon: Foodie Underground, an exploration of what’s new and different in the underground movement, and how we make the topic of good food more accessible to everyone. More musings on the topic can be found at www.foodieunderground.com.

Image: Phil Whitehouse

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Treasure hunt or travesty? It depends on your attitude.

Non-professional foodies express envy when I tell them I’m going to the Fancy Food Show. I guess because it sounds so, well, “fancy. I don’t know what people imagine: small, exquisite plates of foie gras and caviar arranged vertically; exotic grains cooked with pristine baby vegetables; elegant finger sandwiches with the crusts cut off; and petit fours.

It’s none of that, though I did try some bourbon-infused, sustainable California caviar that struck my fancy. And yes, there are fancy (and incredibly delicious) cheeses, but you have to find them among a great number of booths filled with wheels of commodity queso.

There are also tiny gems of companies working hard on making delicious food from good, thoughtfully sourced ingredients. But you just might miss their small displays hiding behind the enormous Hormel booth or the flashy celebrity chef launching his or her latest product line.

The yearly show in San Francisco takes place in both buildings of the Moscone Center, over three days. Walking the whole floor in one day, as I did, is a challenge. There’s no way to taste anywhere near everything, so the key is to look at it like a treasure hunt, and keep moving. Here are the highly subjective results of my personal trek.

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Things That Shouldn’t Exist:

Business names like this one

Processed foods like this one that proclaim “it’s now even easier to eat fruit!” When has eating actual fruit ever been taxing?

Overbaked Trends:

Bacon: Why won’t it die? I tried a bacon marmalade spread that made me desperate to wash my mouth out with the (fortunately placed) microbrew across the aisle.

Greek yogurt: It’s great and everything, but at the end of 2012 will there still be room on the grocery shelves for regular yogurt? You know, the tangy stuff that doesn’t taste like whipped cream?

Chips that aren’t chips: Call me a crank, but some of these new snack chips made from beans, lentils, and alternative grains have too many flavors (sun-dried tomatoes, sesame, basil pesto, chipotle anyone?) and their textures are either like cardboard or (in the case of the puffed versions) greasy, rancid, Styrofoam. Stop it and give me a potato chip, a corn chip, or even a sweet potato chip. Please.

An Old Favorite That Still Delights:

Laura Chenel’s line of cheeses are fantastic. Soft goat cheese has become ubiquitous in grocery stores nationwide, but it wasn’t always so. Laura was the first to make this French style cheese in the U.S., and today she continues to break ground with cheeses like the Tome, and the Mélodie, which I was told is now made in Sonoma County, CA, after a stint of production in France while the company’s new cheese facility was under construction.

Greenest Surprise:

Gone (mostly) are the thousands of tiny plastic spoons. In their place, many exhibitors are using clever, compostable, scoops called EcoTensils.

Favorite Moment:

The passionate owner of Vin Tucci Wine Infused (and utterly delicious) Cookies treated me to an unexpected moment of poetry in articulating his food philosophy. “There are some things we eat in life, like raw oysters, juicy peaches, and fresh mozzarella, that tell us to slow down and pay attention,” he said, adding, “We have to wake up when we’re eating, or we’re just consuming calories.” Words to live by!

A Few Random Favorite Bites:

Susan Feniger’s Edamame Green Siracha Hummus was the bomb. You may remember her from early food TV in the show, Two Hot Tamales. She’s launching a line of products to go along with her new book, Street Food.

Oren’s Kitchen Slow Roasted Artisan Nuts are perfectly seasoned (rather than “flavored”) fresh tasting, and elegant. No acrid spices or rancid oil like you might find in so many commercial nut products. Owner Arnen Oren is a classically trained chef who has worked in some fine restaurant kitchens, and it shows.

Oregon Growers and Shippers makes seasonal preserves and jams from locally grown fruit. The jams are good, but even better are the company’s efforts to support the farmers in its region. Oregon is home to so much fabulous fruit, including strawberries, pears, and marionberries, and I like the idea of the farmers who grow them having a local outlet for their produce.

Canaan Fair Trade sells wonderful olive oil from centuries-old olive groves in Palestine, as well as other goods like spices and grains. All the farmers are represented by the Palestine Fair Trade Association and receive Fair Trade premiums. This social venture is providing a much needed opportunity for farmers who have a very difficult time staying on their land, finding markets for their wonderful products, and supporting their families.

Community Grains brings heritage grains grown and processed in California into the marketplace with artisanally produced polenta, pastas, and whole grain flours. This is a great example of how a food business can preserve biological diversity while strengthening the regional food economy.

Sierra Nevada Cultured Butter is sweet and tangy and incredibly full-flavored. I could almost give up cheese if I could eat butter like this on my bread every day.

Image: Embajada Ecuador

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While I may strive to eat healthy, it isn’t always easy. I still have sudden cravings for Fritos or frozen pizza, as buried taste memories re-surge from my heedless junk food days. I still have my moments of devouring a bag of potato chips or a recent favorite, corn nuts, but overall, I try hard to avoid such snacks. Still, we all sometimes need a snack. Question is: what should we be snacking on?

Here are 12 real food alternatives to falling prey to the “junk food jones.” Some of these may seem high in fat, and they are, such as olives, nuts or cheese. However, the idea is quality not quantity. Enjoy the good things in life, but within reason, and you’ll find you are more than satisfied.

The trick is to keep real food snacks around, or bring them with you, so you’re not tempted with impulse buys near the register when you’re filling up at the gas station or buying office supplies. It’s all about retraining your palette and your habits.

1. Nuts: Almonds, Pistachios, Cashews

I’ve gotten in the habit of keeping a bag of roasted almonds in my bag at all times. Yum!

2. Fresh Fruit

I’ve been really enjoying oranges recently, especially tangerines. Other easy fresh fruit snacks are grapes, apples or pears.

3. Dried fruit

Great on the go.

4. Vegetables with hummus

An excellent source of fiber all around.

5. Rice cakes with natural peanut butter or almond butter

Or celery with peanut butter. Remember the old days of “ants-on-a-log?”

6. Cheese

Yes. Really. But good cheese! I’m still a believer that a few slices of cheese are better than eating a bag of potato chips. Try eating with rye crackers, thinly sliced, toasted pain au levain bread or simply on its own. My current favorites are aged gouda or goat gouda, gruyere, and manchego.

7. Olives

Greek olives are nice to have on hand, especially when you’re eating cheese. You may need to shop around a bit to find your favorite style and olives can vary in quality depending on where you buy them from.

8. Roasted vegetables

I’m a big fan of sweet potato fries. Mind you, when I say sweet potato fries, I don’t mean the ones at the pub down the street. Oven roast your own with a bit of olive oil, salt, pepper and fresh thyme. Delicious! Asparagus, which is currently in season, is another great option. Eat the spears like fries. Or, make a roasted beet salad to have on hand with onions and feta cheese.

9. Straight up avocado

With salt. What’s not to love.

10. Natural granola or fruit bars

Try 18 Rabbits or Larabars.

11. The combination. Plain yogurt with granola, fruit and nuts

This is like dessert! Try experimenting with different fruit combinations or adding shredded coconut or a dusting of ground flax seed.

12. Dark chocolate

Instead of reaching for cookies, try this alternative. A few squares of dark chocolate are inimitably satisfying.

Images: inside_man, minianna.com, givingitatry, aggleton, prakhar, Sashertootie, JC handmade, mwhammer,  MGF Lady Disdain,  aSILVA, CaseyJ

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