Social networks create relationships at the touch of a button. So why are we still feeling lonely?

I’ve been Netflix-ing episodes of this quirky show called ‘The Guild” (originally a YouTube series, it ran from 2007 – 2013). It’s a pretty funny story about a young violinist who’s addicted to an online video game she plays with a group of people she’s never met.

To me, the most interesting part of the show is the video diary kept by the main character. In these brief moments, she talks about feeling lonely, and how playing the game both helps and exacerbates the issue. Feeling lonely despite hanging out with the same six people online for eight hours a day is an intriguing paradox. Most of us have at least a few hundred “friends” on Facebook or followers on Twitter. We interact with these people multiple times a day, sharing details and photos from our private lives. Yet many of us still find ourselves feeling lonely. Why?

The impact of social media on our quality of life is the focus of a four minute film that recently (and somewhat ironically) went viral. Called “The Innovation of Loneliness,” the piece provides a simple yet profound answer to a question you may have asked yourself: What is the connection between social networks and feeling lonely?

Although our interactions on social networks seem to mirrors the way relationships work in the real world, there are some important yet subtle differences.

The visual attractiveness and ease of use associated with Facebook and other social media platforms scratches two of our favorite itches: a lack of time and a fear of intimacy. We love these sites because they make it so effortless to “connect” and “stay in touch” yet never require us to experience the gritty, dirty, messy, inconvenient parts of relationships. So, despite the ability to interact with thousands of people at the touch of a button, we still find ourselves feeling lonely.

Social media also plays into our inherent selfishness, allowing us to obsess over whatever topic or person we want, making us believe we always have an audience, and as such, tricking us into thinking we’re never alone. Another detriment of social media is the ability to hide behind the edit button. “Since the dawn of our species, relationships have been based on face-to-face interaction, which is by definition unfiltered and spontaneous. Online interaction, however, can be tailored, tweaked, and photoshopped until it looks just how we want it to. This has lead to a situation in which social networks serve as platforms to present finely manicured façades, not the authentic, messy reality of our identities,” writes Jordan Bates for Refine The Mind.

When combined with other psychological factors mentioned in the short film, these aspects of social media become dangerous because they warp our expectations for real relationships. When people in the real world don’t respond like our online friends, or when we’re forced to face realities about ourselves that are easily hidden on Facebook, it bothers us. Even though we’re still feeling lonely, we become addicted to the illusion of social media, and can eventually prefer it to the more difficult challenges of being a real human.

This isn’t to say that interactions on social networks are all worthless, or that your Facebook friends are solely to blame for your feelings of loneliness. But it should be a wake up call. It’s time to “[r]educe, moderate, and disconnect,” advises Bates. Take the time to consider the impact of social media on your real world relationships, realize you’re more than a profile pic and a pile of likes, and limit yourself to those “friends” and pages that stimulate the person you are offline.

Related on Ecosalon

Peace and Quiet Offline: 4 Tips for Facing Your Internet Addiction

The Internet, the Corporation and Why We’re All Getting Weirder

NSA Watching You? Delete Your Online Presence (Or At Least Most of It)

Images: colalife and smannion

The post Feeling Lonely? Blame Your 2,453 Facebook Friends [Video] appeared first on EcoSalon.

Building a better London might just start with a broom and social networking.

The news tells us that communities have had their hearts ripped out. Yesterday morning, the streets of London were littered with debris, smashed glass and bricks, buildings were burnt or pillaged and three nights of rioting and looting had left the city smoldering.

Dan Thompson sat at his home in the coastal town of Worthing, West Sussex, 60 miles south of the capital, and tweeted a plea for anyone nearby to bring him coffee. He hadn’t slept all night, having started the idea of #riotcleanup on Twitter the previous evening. Soon the hash tag was trending, more popular than #LondonRiots, more popular even than Justin Bieber.

More importantly, thanks to Thompson, thousands of people had mobilized to meet at various points around London, Liverpool and Birmingham. They brought gloves and heavy-duty trash bags and flasks of tea. They called themselves Riot Wombles. Hilariously, people complained that in some places the council street cleaners had been too efficient and there was little for them to do.

Pictures began arriving on Twitter. Crowds marching down the streets, not with the masked faces of rioters looking for shops to loot, not an insurgence of violence and anger, but instead armed with brooms and smiles, ordinary people who had taken time off work and out of their lives looking for a mess to clean up, shops to help repair.

For many, this photo taken outside Clapham Junction station has become emblematic of the community whose heartbeat was said to be flat lining.

Meanwhile, an exhausted but elated Thompson was attempting to deal with over 100 tweets a minute.

In his every day life, he runs the Empty Shops Network, bringing disused buildings back into service to give cheap space to artists, makers, social enterprises and charities. While that network proved a good starting point for #riotcleanup, the majority of momentum came from the community, from people who love where they live, who wanted to show solidarity against threat and used the speed and might of social media to do just that.

While much of old media wrung its hands over the use of new media in organizing the riots, mostly through the Blackberry BBM network, the reality is that social networks were also streamlining positive action, like a rapidly charging defibrillator.

We are now onto day four of the riots.

Some 16,000 police in London last night ensured a quieter night in the city, but Manchester, Nottingham, Liverpool and Birmingham still suffered. Three people died trying to protect their community against violence.

No one knows why it is happening, although many have speculated. But this kind of violence almost certainly doesn’t happen in a vacuum. The rioters may not have a cohesive, coordinated voice, and while some are without a doubt opportunistic thugs, others are angry about something. We now have to ask ourselves: What, exactly?

As we reflect, we have to remember that while a handful of disenfranchised and disaffected people began destroying cities, the rest of the country collected together in an astonishing display of community. #riotcleanup mobilized thousands. Hot on its heels was Anti-riot: Operation Cup Of Tea, a Facebook group encouraging peace-loving members of the public to upload photos of themselves eschewing acts of violence and instead enjoying the most British of pass times – tea drinking. It currently has 220,000 members, 20,000 more than when I started writing this article an hour ago.

Then there is Something Nice For Ashraf, a reaction to the shocking video of a young Malaysian student who was injured in the riots and then mugged while bleeding profusely. He allegedly lost his front teeth, alongside a replaceable but probably still much loved bicycle, mobile phone and Sony Playstation. The Tumblr seeks to do something nice, to show Ashraf and his family that people in England are not really “scumbags and dickheads.”

Despite what Malcolm Gladwell would have us believe, social networking, in all its furious righteous indignation, its frenzied panic and easy moral outrage, is shaping up to be a new heart center of our communities, a simple place of gathering in an increasingly fractured world where we can show we are strong and caring and willing to stand together, where we can show what we can do with a little bit of love and care.

On Twitter, @riotcleanup now has nearly 88,000 followers. There’s nothing to tidy right now, so they’re playing #cleanupanthems for amusement: Litter Sweep Symphony; Where The Streets Have No Stains; Broom Shake Shake Shake The Broom; Sweep Caroline. It’s silly and self-deprecating, making light of what has been a harrowing and shocking few days. More than anything, it’s incredibly British.

After all the asking why is done, this is the message we should take away from the events of the last few days, this strength and humor, this common goal to live somewhere peaceful and fair and safe, and the knowledge that we have the drive to achieve that goal.

Someone tweets @riotcleanup: Nice idea, but what if they riot again tonight?

@riotcleanup replies: Then we clean up again tomorrow.

The post London’s #riotcleanup: Keep Calm and Carry a Big Broom appeared first on EcoSalon.

Welcome to cub web publishing 101, the course for literary teens who go one further than Facebook to flex their writing muscles via blogs devoted to pop culture, fashion and eco activism. Green teen blogging is the new black. But just like the sport of crew, it takes time away from homework. You have to want to get your strokes from more than a bunch of A’s on a card. Meet a few of the new breed.

While most high school freshman call it a day after trudging through the mixed cauldron of Macbeth, ancient Rome and conjugating Spanish verbs, It’s Getting Hot in Here contributor Shadia Fayne Wood blogs about climate justice. At fifteen, she joined the World Summit on Sustainable Development – joining efforts to create the Official Youth Energy Policy Statement. She now helps coordinate a global youth journalism network, Project Survival Media and while keeping a personalblog and pursuing a freelance photography sideline.

At Teens Turning Green, founded in Marin County, CA., concerned teens from around the globe blog to further the goal of  eliminating toxic chemicals from individual lives. Part of the joy is using the art of writing to effect change.

Its co-founder, Erin Schrode, got her start as a “sustainability prodigy” at the website and it led to awards, testimony before lawmakers and paid writing gigs by the time she was sixteen. Now, at nineteen, she is a guest blogger on Dr. Greene and other sites, and has a healthy TTG cosmetic line promoted by Whole Foods.

“They become experts and have something to share, and that is why they are blogging and articulating their perspectives,” says Judi Shill, Shrode’s mom and co-founder of the site. Shill finds blogging isn’t always an entree into journalism but is a sign of the times of how teens today communicate. Still, she admits some of the writing is “extraordinary” – and you can tell who is taking it further.

Taking it further might require the kind of chutzpah displayed by freelance teen reporter, Daniel Wetter, a member of the Scholastic Press Corps who often reports on eco issues. The upstart also has a passion for sports and covered the winter Olympics at fourteen, despite not having proper credentials. That’s the makings of a network sports writer – no shrinking violet in the locker room! “Every day has a new story to cover which is why I love journalism,” he says, and proves it by seeking out stories in his Sacramento community and working for his school paper, The Growler.

And then, in a league of her own, is fashion force Tavi Gevinson. The 14-year-old haute couture devotee, who also covers second hand shopping, has been writing the consumption blog, Style Rookie, since she was eleven. Next stop, a collaboration with Sassy creator Jane Pratt to produce a new teen publication for what Gevinson calls “wallflowery teenage girls.” A profile on the suburban Chicagoan in The New Yorker, points out bloggers have only recently become important in the world of fashion (our own Amy DuFault has the green niche covered), and that Tavi at fourteen is already an old pro who adeptly navigates her away around the backstage of shows, as well as on the web.

“In seventh grade, I’d come home from school and take an outfit picture, post it, write a little bit about it, and write a little bit about the day,” Tavi told the magazine. “Now, I want to write more article-y things.”

Gevinson is able to crossover from silly to serious because luminaries such as Karl Lagerfeld believe the idiosyncratic, four-foot-ten chronicler has something to say, her fresh eye not “ruined by zillions of bad collections.”

Fresh perspective is nurtured at enrichment workshops for kid writers, such as ones held at 826 Valencia, founded by author Dave Eggers and educator, Ninive Calegari. Stanford University’s EPGY (Education Program for Gifted Youth) urges creative wordsmiths to leap into fountains on the Stanford campus and leave anonymous poems on random  bikes.   Lekha School of Writing in San Jose, CA., circumvents the red tape of publishing houses with an adjunct service of publishing works completed by its best students. Some make it into bookstores before the kid has a driver’s license.

Meanwhile, savvy school teachers also play a vital role in prompting talented writers to journey beyond the classroom to reach a wider audience, even if it means a letter to the editor of a local newspaper.

“If students write for an audience of one teacher, they often don’t feel motivated,” says Paul Totah, educator and Director of Communications at Saint Ignatius college Preparatory in San Francisco. “Real world publishing is the best way to inspire good writing.”

Totah, like many of the most insightful instructors, is a former writer who has been in the trenches.

“Whenever I applied for a job as a writer, no one cared what college I went to or what grades or SAT scores I received,” shares Totah. “They looked at my writing portfolio and hired me because of the quality of the writing. Students know they are judged by how well they write anything, from emails to memos to sticky notes, and that concise, powerful prose will serve them in whatever they pursue.”

Edgy and current prose also serves them when selling “article-y things”, catching the eyes of avid Tweeters. But beware of early burn out. It’s a tempting, yet tangled, word wide web we weave, a seemingly endless one at that. The advantage of publishing early comes with a requisite of restraint. Otherwise, prodigies like the Tavi Gevinsons of the world could slide dangerously into child star Lindsay Lohan territory, and risk being washed up before experience and wisdom takes their art to new heights.

Images: Extra Ketchup;  It’s Getting Hot in Here; The Style Rookie; Erin Schrode; Lekha Publishing

The post Published Before 15 appeared first on EcoSalon.

The fact that Twitter changed the food cart movement is no news; foodies consume deals and specials from dining entrepreneurs like they’re candy. But the micro-blogging site hasn’t just become a guerrilla marketing tool to get the word out about tacos and tempeh, it’s becoming a source of foodie inspiration.

I’ll admit that nothing beats sitting down to peruse a well crafted cookbook with decadent photos and well worded recipes – the kind of book that makes you recommit yourself to becoming a better cook – but there’s also time for the short and sweet.

Look at the success of Eat Tweet, probably the world’s first cookbook to be inspired by 140 characters or less. Eat Tweet‘s author, Maureen Evans, maintains her Twitter page where she posts condensed recipes. What can you do in the kitchen that you can’t do on Twitter? Nothing it turns out; with recipes for macaroons, fennel pie, pomegranate sashimi and beyond, Evans proves that you don’t need a culinary encyclopedia to keep things fresh.

As I write this, I hear my mother’s voice in the back of my head, “but why would people want to get their recipes from Twitter?” You’re right mom, there really isn’t a replacement for traditional food inspiration – I used to spend hours going through our bookshelf of cookbooks that featured food from around the world and I credit those moments to why I’m currently a food lover – and I still believe there’s no better tool for determining what you’re going to make for dinner than a trip to farmers’ market, but there’s something to be said for the online community of foodies that are using Twitter to not only get the word out about their own food blogs, but also find creative inspiration for new concoctions.

Just take a moment to look all of the tweets tagged with #foodie. Within three minutes of opening the search in a new browser tab, there were 10 new tweets.

There are the instructional tweets:

exceptionalfood: A smooth shiny egg shell is a sign of old age. Fresh eggs have a chalky rough shell. #chef #recipe #kitchen #foodie

The quirky:

TheAmateurChef: Is it wrong that I like peanut butter on bacon sandwiches…?#foodie

The insightful:

tarla80: After eating #chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers. -Emily Luchetti #foodie #quote

And the humorous:

WarrenCaterson: “the perfect wine glass is one that has wine in…” quote from @whopaysthepiper #wine #foodie

Or if you’re dependent on visual stimulation, there’s always the #foodporn hashtag. Here’s to socially networked food inspiration.

Have any recipes that you’ve gotten via Twitter, or any foodies you follow who are particularly in the know? Share them in the comments below!

Editor’s note: This is the latest installment of Anna Brones’s column at EcoSalon, Foodie Underground. Each week, Anna will be taking a look at something new and different that’s taking place in the underground food movement, from supper clubs to mini markets to culinary avant garde.

Image: NineteenFortyOne

The post Foodie Underground: Give ‘Em Something to Tweet About appeared first on EcoSalon.

Maria Moyer and Julie Gilhart

Just when you think you’ve met the most amazing woman, three more walk through the door. In this case, I’m talking about a whole Bureau of Friends consisting of some of the smartest women in the sustainable world.

When I say “sustainable,” I mean it in the fullest sense of the word – for all these women are participating in something balanced, whether coaching people on how to love and sell their work or personally creating something of significance in a studio. From all there’s an awareness and a promoting of  the fine balance of living and meaning.

Maria Moyer (Founder of Wink Communication), Julie Gilhart (Barney’s Fashion Director), Natalie Chanin (Designer, Founder of Alabama Chanin), and Cathy Bailey (Co-owner of HEATH Ceramics) make up the core of the Bureau whose main mission is to create dialogue, and in so doing, help people understand objects of quality and experiences in their lives that ring true.

One of the ways they’ve done this is through their “Making and Meaning” workshops, where the group invites interesting people to talk about their current projects and ideas which, over making a craft, organically becomes something more than just networking with really cool people.

A modern day sewing circle? Maybe, but this series is evolving into something more substantial, like how we communicate with each other.

Natalie Chanin

Moyer sums up the group:

“We’re a talent agency for good works-a speakers’ bureau and consultancy; Conveners of designers, makers and thinkers.  In our media-drenched, social-networking-maxed lives, the four of us have combined our talents to engage people in meaningful ways that might lead to action-or at the very least, connect us to each other in more deeply than the alternatives.”

Husband and wife team, Robin Petravic and Catherine Bailey, owners of Heath Ceramics

Recently formed, the Bureau has no defined expectations of what their future holds as a group, but based on their energy and passion, it can’t help but inspire, whatever the direction.

I recently caught up with Moyer, Chanin and Bailey, who were kind enough to answer a few questions.

Did you start working together because you felt compelled to? That something really important could happen if you did?

Natalie: Perhaps because I am rurally located, I felt that working together with this group would give me a feeling of belonging and inspire new growth, new ideas and a way to grow my work in a fresh (and sustainable) way. Once we had our first “meeting,” it was clear that belonging was more than a way to grow my business but to grow personally.

Cathy: I felt compelled by Maria and the women she wanted to bring together. I believe that when you have the opportunity to connect with people who you truly admire you need to take the time and opportunity to engage and collaborate, and that’s when worth while ideas and efforts are flourish.

Maria: Like many artists, entrepreneurs, and social minded people in my life, these women move me. I do feel compelled when I have the opportunity to work on things that matter to me, with people I admire and enjoy.

How have each of you engaged people in meaningful ways that might lead to action and how is the Bureau stronger because of it?

Natalie: The conversations that have grown around the tables are a great example of how belonging leads to action. First, we are inspired by one another to action; but, more importantly, the conversations begin at a single point and with all of the input become stronger and have led more concentrated ideas and projects. The whole of the unit is stronger than the strength of the individual parts.

Maria: I think our auction for Haiti is a good example. After writing checks and texting donations, The Bureau of Friends, and some of its friends, wanted to do more. So, we gathered items and services to auction – 100 percent of the proceeds go to Architecture for Humanity’s work in Haiti. Lutz & Patmos Cashmere, organic cotton bedding from West Elm and more coming. We hope these small gestures grow larger, with a little help from our friends.

Natalie Chanin talks craft at  Bureau’s New York “Making and Meaning” workshop

What are some future projects you have in store?

Natalie: Cathy and I are very excited about a collaboration between HEATH and Alabama Chanin. Working in her studio last fall was one of the highlights of my year!

Cathy: The HEATH-Alabama Chanin dinnerware project is very exciting. But, it’s the ongoing support, feedback and perspective that we are able to give each other as a group that’s extremely valuable to me – it will lead to more projects together that none of us would have taken on separately.

Do you agree that quality and craftsmanship are just as important as something sustainably designed?

Cathy: I believe that good and worthwhile objects are made in a quality way and that craftsmanship generally leads to longer lasting objects that will be appreciated for generations.

Are we asking people too much to consider appreciating both the objects they consume as well as how it was created?

Cathy: I love objects that show what goes into making them. It’s satisfying to be conscious of what I buy and use. By supporting local makers you naturally know a lot more about objects, and in turn the object becomes more meaningful and long lasting, so that’s one great idea to promote.

Maria: I think this is about helping consumers understand and appreciate quality. Quality, for me, includes beauty, manufacturing that considers the environment and the culture of the people making the item.

We all talk a lot about the future of sustainable design and whether we’ll need to even talk about it (it will just be designed that way). Would you suggest we just stop talking eco-language? Has it perhaps become a black mark when mentioned?

Maria: There’s so much education [still] to do with makers, retailers and buyers. It will be a long while before we can stop explaining things in eco-language. However, let’s remember please, that people stopped saying “horseless carriage” when we meant “car” and it wasn’t long before “color TV” became, simply “TV”.  I hope I’m alive to see certain eco-terms become obsolete because it’s just understood, integral, and implied.

The post A Bureau of Friends That’s Built to Last appeared first on EcoSalon.

I see ads all the time for green business cards at sites like Green Printer. What sets them apart?

Their little squares for doing business are printed on 100% recycled paper using soy and veggie zero-VOC inks with chemical-free plate processing and scuff-resistant, non-toxic aqueous coating. Some of the newbies are not even squares at all, but 3×3 disks for “making a unique impression.”

But what kind of impression are we making when we swap paper at a time we’re eschewing the over-foresting of our natural landscapes to produce the pulp, and envisioning a paper-less lifestyle? Perhaps trading information this way isn’t in the cards.

As the senior editor of an environmental blog, it can be awkward to produce a paper card for a new contact, despite the greener alternatives of jotting down my data on a piece of scratch paper or asking Daryl Hannah and Brad Pitt to program my number into their iPhones. I’m down for it, but are they?

Business cards have traditionally been the preferred networking tool of the working world, long before social networking via Facebook and LinkedIn became available. These sites function well for all the uses cards provide: Applying for jobs, hiring for jobs, passing along a name, planning a lunch or golf date, even tossing your name into a hat for winning stuff.

The question remains: Have these habit-forming cards become obsolete in the electronic age? According to TechCrunch, they should die once and for all. It’s just a matter of improving the handset alternative.

Crunch contributor Jason Kincaid finds, “The cell phone market could easily put business cards out of their misery, but instead of conforming to a single standard for contact exchange, handset manufacturers offer proprietary solutions or none at all.”

Examples he cites include apps like Friendbook, an iPhone “handshake”  connector from Tapulous, and rmbrME (“remember me”), a service launched last spring that costs 50 cents every time you wanted to add a new contact. A poor response to the model has led the company’s founder Gabe Zichermann to offer a premium service in the future.

Still, an etiquette column in the Newbury Port News takes the opposing view, arguing traditional cards are not just pieces of paper, but an integral part of doing business that can never be replaced.

To support this claim, columnist Judy Bowman points to the Japanese example. In Japanese, the business card, or “makke,” literally translated means “my face,” and represents one’s life.

“The business card you receive from someone speaks volumes about them and the firm they represent,” Bowman says.

Bowman goes further to describe the elaborate dance of the Japanese business card exchange, apparently as dramatic as the tea ceremony: “Our Japanese friends suggest an almost ritualistic way to present and receive business cards. Present the printed side up with both hands, a thumb and forefinger carefully holding each top corner. Respectfully hand the card forward, almost with a bow-like gesture, as a show of respect. This is the most formal way to present a business card.”

The Japanese – who are among the world’s most enthusiastic users and makers of electronics – are clinging to swapping cards almost as a cultural meme, a meme that shows they value tradition at a time of tremendous advances in global communication. But that doesn’t convince me to have a set engraved any time soon. After all, the Japanese are also still slaughtering whales.

Images: Jeff McNeil, Green Printer, TechCrunch, Japan Print

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