It’s impossible not to remember the Steubenville rape when you read about the Maryville rape, but in this case, we hear from the girls.

The Maryville rape case has many of the elements we’ve come to expect. Small town America. Football. Entitlement. Alcohol. Videos. Social media bullying. A teenage girl discarded and left for dead.

What’s shocking in this case (and I wish the shock was simply that it happened again) is that the survivors have gone public.

In case you’ve missed any of the story, here’s what happened in Maryville, MO last January: Daisy Coleman (age 13) and her friend Paige Borlan (age 14) had a sleepover; they drank some alcohol while Daisy exchanged texts with a boy she knew from school. A little drunk already, they sneaked out to meet him and a friend. Once they were with the boys, the girls were separated and given more to drink. Both were sexually assaulted while a third boy video taped one of the rapes.

When it was over, Daisy was too drunk to stand. Paige was out of it and confused. The boys drove them back to Daisy’s, leaving Daisy on her front porch, in the dead of winter, barely conscious, and sending Paige inside.

Named in the case is 17-year-old Matthew Barnett (the grandson of Republican representative Rex Barnett) who allegedly raped Coleman, along with an unnamed boy, and Jordan Zech, who taped the events.

We have the names. There was a tape—so let’s get ‘em, right? Not so fast.

In an unbelieveable turn of events, the case was dropped even though the sheriff’s office agreed that evidence supported the girls’ account of what happened. According to Prosecutor Robert Rice, the rape kits, interviews and Zech’s admission that he deleted the video from that night were not enough to convict Barnett of sexual assault and endangering the welfare of a child, or to convict Zech of sexual exploitation of a child.

I could, and there’s a version of this post were I did, go on a massive rant about the Maryville rape. I could talk about how we need to educate our boys and support our girls. But I am guessing you know all of that.

Instead, let’s look at how Daisy and Paige have handled themselves since this case went public. In the face of the sheriff’s advice to Coleman to “get over it” and articles like Slate’s “Tell College Women to Stop Getting Drunk” — which includes this gem of a quote, “If I had a son, I would tell him that it’s in his self-interest not to be the drunken frat boy who finds himself accused of raping a drunken classmate,” the girls went public with their names and their faces.

Daisy and Paige are forcing the world to look them in the eye and listen to what happened, which is incredibly brave.

Victims don’t owe the public anything, and they shouldn’t have to prove their case in the media. But, when the judicial system fails as miserably as it did in this case, it’s their right to speak as hashtags supporting their attackers stream across their social feeds.

To be clear, it’s their right, not their obligation. The danger here is the assumption that if allegations are true, victims should, and can, step forward. With the support of their families, these girls made that choice. Maybe speaking out is a way to empower themselves in a situation when all power was removed.

For some, coming forward isn’t an option. Maybe they don’t have familial support. Maybe they fear being judged by their religious community. Maybe they know that putting themselves in the line of fire will subject them to even more attacks.

What we do know is that two girls were raped in Maryville, and the evidence was there to prove it. Now, these girls are being forced to rely on the court of public opinion and hope for a small shred of justice.

The good news is that pressure from the public, including protests by members of Anonymous, is actually working. Earlier this week, Missouri Lt. Gov. Peter Kinder released a statement saying recent reports involving the Maryville rape case, “Raise all kinds of questions that it is now clear won’t be put to rest.” And Tim Jones, a Republican member of the Missouri House of Representatives, issued a statement urging officials to re-open their investigation. Thursday, the case was officially reopened. Let’s hope that this time around, Daisy and Paige get the justice they deserve.

Related on EcoSalon:

The Steubenville Rape: That Happened

Slut-Shaming: That Happened

Blurred Lines and Rape Culture: That Happened

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ColumnAccording to the media, women’s bodies are less important than pigskin.

On August 11, 2012, a 16-year-old girl was raped by two teenage football players in Steubenville, Ohio. The judge chose to try the two young men as juveniles. On March 17, 2013, Trent Mays was sentenced to a minimum of two years in a juvenile correctional facility, and Ma’lik Richmond was sentenced to a minimum of one year—both could be in detention until they turn 21.

Unfortunately, this story isn’t unique; and while the media’s coverage of the case isn’t either, the role that social media played could have changed the tone. But it didn’t. Even after seeing the most degrading, humiliating photos and videos of this girl splashed all over the internet by friends of the attackers—for more than six months between the night it happened and the time the verdict came in—people are blaming the victim and offering sympathy to her attackers.

CNN’s Candy Crowley, Poppy Harlow, and Paul Callan started off the pity party: “’I’ve never experienced anything like it, Candy. It was incredibly emotional, incredibly difficult, even for an outsider like me, to watch what happened as these two young men that had such promising futures—star football players, very good students—literally watched as they believed their lives fell apart.” – Harlow. Crowley and Callan go on to ponder the impact that “essentially” being convicted of rape will have on the boys’ lives.

Fox News, as usual, took the asshole cake when reporter Mike Tolbin used the victim’s REAL name on air. The footage has since been edited. Fox went on to prove its total dickishness—er, sorry, understanding of the delicate situation—with this gem: “Editors’ Note: The Associated Press named the minors charged due to the fact they have been identified in other news coverage and their names were used in open court. FoxNews will not name the defendants.” Phew. Maybe the one college who hasn’t heard of them will let them play football again, because, isn’t that what really matters?

According to ABC, it is. Before the case exploded, but long after footage of the night was all over social media, ABC focused on Richmond’s “state of mind” after winning a big game. This is a quote from the article, not Richmond himself: “It’s no surprise that he was in a celebratory mood. But even Richmond admits that some of what happened at the parties he and several of his teammates attended that night crossed the line.”

Wait, did ABC News just say the equivalent of “boys will be boys?” Seriously?

The level of anger I feel at the media is intense. While the idea that everyone with a loud voice should be responsible was shattered the second Perez Hilton became a viable source and Fox dubbed itself “fair and balanced,” serious news channels with massive platforms owe us, at the very least–and I do mean very–an unbiased report of the actual facts on news programs.

And the facts are: Two teenage boys raped a girl and rather than talk about the fact that they are criminals, the media is lamenting the loss of their football careers and, by doing so, perpetuating rape culture.

Rape culture can be complicated to explain, and one of the best breakdowns is here. In short, rape culture is: Beliefs that encourage male sexual aggression and violence against women. It is a society where violence is seen as sexy and sexuality as violent. In a rape culture, women perceive a continuum of threatened violence that ranges from sexual remarks to sexual touching to rape itself. A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrorism against women as the norm.

Terrorism. Can you imagine the outrage if the media referred to these attackers as terrorists?

When the media regularly supports rape culture, it influences how viewers and readers think. On Tuesday, two teenage girls in Steubenville were charged with threatening the victim’s life over social media—police are also investigating a male for harassment.

That teenage girls are threatening this woman is especially heartbreaking. How can anyone have seen these tweets and photos—and let’s assume that teenage girls have—and not feel empathy? What kind of world are these kids living in? Before social media, I can see a girl struggling to believe that guys she knew would do this. But they know. And they don’t seem to care.

After the story started to spread, why didn’t the adults involved step up and say something? Where were the parents before this happened? Why did no one at the party that night say, “Hey, she’s drunk. Let’s get her home?” Why aren’t girls taking care of each other?

I’m not saying in any way that women are responsible for rape—rapists are. But having so recently written about adult women’s backlash against new movements in feminism, I can’t help but go back to the idea that we need to stick together. How we treat each other sends a message to men and boys as to how we expect to be treated.

We have to take it back a generation and teach both girls and boys from a young age that rape is never okay. We need to destroy rape culture by shattering the idea that male sports players, and men in powerful positions, are gods who are exempt from the rules. We need to make sure that everyone understands the definition of consent (and anyone who saw the photos of the victim, complete with captions calling her “the dead girl,” can see she didn’t, and couldn’t, consent). We need a new version of feminism that girls will embrace, because whatever they are being taught now isn’t working. Who wants to lean in with me on that?

Note: The victim’s legal fees have been covered, but in response to the many who have asked how they can help, she and her family are suggesting that people donate to the Madden House, an emergency safe-shelter for women who are rebuilding their lives.

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