Hey, successful women. Did you know that it’s the age of the trophy husband? For real. I don’t know if I should celebrate, or cry about this news…

OK, OK. Let me back up. In theory, this finding isn’t depressing.

Helen Fisher recently conducted a study for Match.com that mined the brains of single people. One of the findings the survey discovered was that men are totally cool with dating successful women. Also: More men — 87 percent — are cool with dating a woman who is “more intellectual, and is better educated than they are.” A recent Atlantic article reported on the findings.

Fisher jokingly calls this the “Clooney Effect.” She coined the phrase after George Clooney got married to Amal Alamuddin, a successful human-rights lawyer.

This study has quite a few holes, though. The Atlantic lists just a few issues with the “Clooney Effect:”

Any psychologist will state that appearance is still the number one factor in bringing two people together, and that it takes more than a singular trait (in this case, intelligence) to create a strong, long-lasting bond. And it’s important to note that these statistics are heteronormative, applying purely to straight couples and not addressing gays and lesbians at all.

Now, none of this (except for the massive study holes) is terrible news. So, why am I so grumpy? Because it is considered news. I know that this topic, and topics like this, have been in the spotlight throughout the past year, but I can’t believe this is something that still has to be reported. Maybe it’s because I’m a feminist killjoy, or maybe it’s because the majority of men I have dated were totally cool with the fact that I have a graduate degree and they do not.

But I do realize that for years (and still currently), many women do run into the “powerful woman” issue when dating. I guess just can’t wait for the day when it’s totally old-hat for blue-collar male workers to marry female CEOs.

What do you think about these findings? Do you know a lot of successful women who have married “down?” Do you hate the term “Trophy Husbands” as much as I do?

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Image: torbakhopper

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You know a ton of successful people… and you’re not one of them. Here’s the 411 on how to turn things around.

I spent my twenties building an “almost” successful life: My career was “almost” going somewhere. I was “almost” a girlfriend. I felt “almost” happy. But I was always “almost” there, I was never exactly where I wanted to be.

I’d climb the hill of success, get close to the top, lose my footing and slide right back to the bottom. On a subconscious level, I probably sabotaged myself on purpose because all I’d ever known was “almost.” Screwed up, but true.

Does this sound like you?

The same used to be true for Jeff Olson, self-proclaimed beach-bum-turned-millionaire and author of “The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success & Happiness.” Like us, he was constantly working his ass off yet spinning his tires, exhausted and getting nowhere. Now, he’s insanely successful, and you’re not going to believe what he changed to make it happen:

Absolutely nothing.

I know, right? What was happening to him is what’s happening to most of us: The things he was doing to go from “Failure” to “Survival” were the exact same things that would’ve taken him from “Survival” to “Success” – if he had kept doing them. Like me, the second he hit the survival line the urgency to become successful faded… until he was on the verge of failure again and had no choice but to haul ass.

Successful people become successful because they keep doing what they were doing all along. (Face palm, anyone?)

Here’s the thing successful people know that we don’t:

Success is boring.

We assume success is exciting (like, “The Wolf of Wall Street” exciting), but it’s actually insanely boring.

It doesn’t help that all we know of successful people are highlight reels they choose to share with us. We’re not there with them during the years leading up to their success – we’re only there for the good stuff. It also doesn’t help that success tips are packaged to sound like it’s possible to succeed at the speed of light.

Even if there was an exact formula for success though, you’d probably still fail. As Jeff says in his book, “It’s not the hows that do it, it’s how you do the hows.” His slight edge philosophy can be summed up in three words: Plant. Cultivate. Harvest.

It’s the little things that add up to the big things. The tiny decisions you make daily have a ripple effect. You’ll either skyrocket… or plummet.

Five percent of the population is succeeding and 95 percent are failing. In order to join the ranks of the 5 percent, you have to change how you think about the little things. For example:

You have the option of eating a salad or a burger. You might think choosing the burger is no biggie, and it’s not a big deal right now… but it will be to your tomorrow, since all of those burgers will eventually add up to an unhealthy body. Heart attacks just don’t decide to happen – they happen because of every small health decision you made leading up to it.

The same goes for success: The decisions you make today will have a ripple effect on your tomorrow. But if these decisions are so small and so easy, why aren’t more people successful?

Because it’s just as easy to do it as it is not to.

It’s just as easy to choose a burger as it is a salad. It’s just as easy to watch a TV show instead of go for a walk. It’s just as easy to sleep in as it is to get up earlier and work on your passion project. And for most of us, we make the small, easy decision… to not.

Every decision you make will either elevate you toward success or downgrade you toward failure, and there’s no confusion over which is which. As you’re about to cave and make the crappy choice, repeat to yourself: It’s just as easy to do it as it is not to. I guarantee you’ll put down the remote.

The first small step you should take? Buying Jeff’s book. Once you’re done reading it, you’ll never look back. I know I haven’t!

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Image: Amy Humphries

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