Column Facts are facts.

If you’re not too busy protesting male-only contraception hearings in the House of Representatives today, how about a few lighthearted statistics to take your mind off of things? Don’t worry, I’m sure that all these elderly male religious leaders have our best interests at heart and will be sure to let us know when they’ve decided what kind of birth control we get to use (I’m hoping for the rhythm method!).

30+ million: reported number of Adult FriendFinder members, a “swinger personals community website”

20: number of one-star reviews of Adult Friendfinder on consumeraffairs.com

Number of Canadian Mounties currently under investigation for having on-the-job sex with subordinates: 1

20-40,000: number of American women who are allergic to semen

Number of vibrators for sale on Amazon: 763

Number of people capable of giving birth listed as possible witnesses on the House of Representative’s latest hearing on birth control legislation: 0

Number of vibrators on Amazon available for 70% off or more: 85

Percentage of surveyed swingers who reported themselves as “Caucasian”: 90%

20%: Increase in sexual desire reported by migraine sufferers vs. a control group

Odds the average man will experience “sudden cardiovascular death” during sex: 0.2/100,000

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