It used to be that there was one option for wedding cakes: those multi-tiered numbers covered in too-sweet white fondant. But the times they are a-changing, and so are the cakes. Following a wave of naked wedding cakes, trends for 2017 include vegan wedding cake, colorful or metallic icing, and even some receptions where there’s no cake at all.

While weddings in 2016 were all about naked cakes and metallic accents, according to Toni Roberts, Pastry Chef for top Chicago hotel theWit, this year’s cakes are going in a bit of a different direction. She’s seeing a lot of influences from natural geological elements like geodes and marble, as well as mixed metals like copper, bronze, and rose gold.

But the industry is also seeing an influx in a demand for vegan wedding cakes, something that Jenny Schmohe, baker and wedding coordinator for vegan bakery Sweetpea Baking Company in Portland, Oregon, is all too happy to fulfill.

“It definitely seems like more people are open to the idea of ordering a vegan wedding cake, in part because of the growing prevalence of high-quality vegan baked goods,” she says. (It can’t hurt that celebs like EllenDeGeneres and Portia De Rossi or Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell served up vegan cakes at their nuptials.)

But even though awareness of the vegan diet is growing, there is still a learning curve, according to Schmohe, at least when it comes to vegan wedding cakes.

“Every once in awhile a ‘skeptic’ of vegan baking will come in to do a tasting and make comments along the lines of ‘I can’t believe this is vegan!’ or ‘This is good… for vegan cake,’” she says. “I think these kinds of comments still speak to an overarching misunderstanding of what vegan food really is all about – being as delicious and satisfying as any counterpart while substituting animal products with plant-based alternatives.”

But for the most part, folks in big cities like Portland are all too happy to try out vegan wedding cakes, especially when they come in unique and interesting flavors. Roberts says she’s noticing more and more demands for fruit fillings in wedding cakes, and Schmohe notes that the most popular flavors at Sweetpea are toasted coconut, lemon chiffon, and berries & cream.

“My personal favorites are always when clients get creative and mix and match different components that they enjoyed from their tasting (toasted coconut cake with lemon curd filling, for example),” she says.

While Schmohe notes that she cannot recall any clients ever opting to have both a non-vegan and a vegan wedding cake their reception, omnivorous folks who want to make sure that their vegan friends can still partake in wedding sweets might want to opt for another growing wedding trend: an alternative dessert.

Roberts says that many people are opting for interactive desserts like doughnut towers, s’mores stations, and mini dessert displays either alongside or instead of a more traditional wedding cake.

“I think people are more comfortable expressing themselves as opposed to staying tied to tradition,” says Roberts. “This also stems from more couples footing the bill themselves instead of succumbing to the wants of paying parents.”

We’re all for people expressing themselves through their wedding desserts, through colors, designs, and dietary choices – but what about you? Share your favorite wedding cake ideas with us on Facebook or Twitter.

Related on EcoSalon
5 Versatile and Unique Wedding Dresses You Can Easily Wear Again
Wedding on a Budget: Keep the Day Unique, Romantic, and Low-Key
DIY Flower Crowns Perfect for Music Festivals and Weddings

The post Marble, Mixed Metal, and Vegan Wedding Cakes are in for 2017 appeared first on EcoSalon.

Choosing a wedding on a budget doesn’t have to mean moseying down to the county courthouse, or a quick trip to Vegas. It can be creative, romantic, and as big a day as any.

Paul, my fiancé, asked me to marry him on a very cold January night. He kept the proposal simple: he waited until all our animals — all four of them — were in the room, gave me a $20 ring from the local thrift store, and did the damn thing. While we were putting on our coats to go buy celebratory sparkling wine, Rapture, one of our cats, took a joy-filled dump. It was basically the most perfect moment ever.

You may be able to tell by how my fiancé executed our engagement that he and I are low maintenance people who do things our way. And it just so happens that our way is pretty chill, a little strange, and, luckily, cheap.

So, when Paul and I started to plan our wedding, we decided to craft an unconventional event rather than a traditional, chiffon-laden extravaganza.

Obviously, our vision isn’t for everyone, but in essence, our wedding planning strategy is economical at its heart. I hope our preliminary plans can be used to help brides and grooms think about their big day in a different — aka cheap and totally awesome — way.

How to Throw a Wedding on a Budget

Going Way Off-Peak

October, the month our wedding is going to take place, is still considered a peak wedding month. But getting married on a Monday or a Tuesday? That’s waaay off-peak. And that’s why we’re going to get married at the beginning of the week. The main perk of picking a weekday as a wedding day? Most reception halls are half the price of what they go for on a Saturday. We saved about $700.

Skip the Caterers

Caterers are awesome, but they are incredibly expensive. You know what’s not expensive? Pizza. Now, pizza may not be the most romantic food, but it sure is tasty. Paul and I live in a very liberal, health-conscious town, so we have oodles of great pizza places to choose from that offer meat-free, cheese-free, and gluten-free pizza. Perfect for all of our guests — and a bride — with specific eating habits.

Skipping the caterers also allowed us to “hire” a good friend to bartend the reception. And we’re keeping our drink options simple — water, soda, box wine, local beer, and one signature drink — we’re thinking a spooky cider spiked with whiskey.

Theme Me

If you’ve ever read anything I’ve wrote, you know I adore Halloween. Luckily, my fiancé is a huge fan of the holiday, too, so, we’ve decided to make the entire event spooky. We’re going all out: black and orange table cloths, plates, and cups — all recyclable, of course — and decorations that fit the retro Halloween vibe we love.

To keep the flower costs down, we’re carving pumpkins and placing candles in them to make fun centerpieces. And to keep the event fun and in the spirit of Halloween, we’re asking all our guests dress in costume. And, yeah, we are thinking about wearing Halloween costumes to keep our ceremony outfit costs down, too.

Stay Small

Because we’re keeping food and drink costs down, we’re inviting everyone we think would like to come to the haunted event. But even that “everyone” is turning out to be a pretty small number. This conservative count is allowing us to have the ceremony at a free venue — a local park — so we can enjoy all the awesome Midwestern fall leaves. And while I love the idea of having bridesmaids, I hate the idea of paying for bridesmaid dresses. So, I’m nixing that tradition, too. Instead, I’m asking a close guy and female friend to stand by me while the vows are read.

Now, obviously not everyone is going to want to have a retro, Halloween wedding, but as you can see, these ideas can be applied to any type of wedding — even a traditional one.

Related on EcoSalon

5 Eco-Friendly Jewelry Makers You Need in Your Life

Amy Poehler and Carrie Brownstein are Wedding Goddesses [Video]

Set the Table with Eco-Friendly Dinnerware for Every Occasion

Wedding image via Shutterstock

The post Wedding on a Budget: How to Keep the Big Day Unique, Romantic, and Low-Key appeared first on EcoSalon.

Plan a rustic wedding with these creative tutorials and ideas.

Planning a wedding this year, but your tastes run towards the rustic end of the spectrum? We’ve got you covered with these clever DIY ideas for making your most special day the perfect rustic wedding!

15 DIY Rustic Wedding Ideas

1. Hula Hoop Chandelier – Light up your wedding with this clever project utilizing a hula hoop and icicle lights.
2. Rustic Hors’ D’oeuvres Station – Use log slices and vintage tin pie plates for a rustic hors’ d’oeuvres station.
3. Rustic Wedding Altar – This is such a pretty idea for an outdoor rustic wedding altar.
4. Afghan Station – If you are planning a rustic fall wedding, having a station for guests to grab an afghan might be a good idea.
5. Fringe Garland – Use vintage sheets to create a rustic chic fringe garland.
6. Guest Log – Instead of a that old wedding staple, the guestbook, have guests sign a guest log slice that you can then hang in your home as a keepsake from your wedding.
7. Iced Tea Station – Have an iced tea station with vintage glass pitchers and mason jars. Allow guests to choose sweetened or unsweetened as well as from different flavors.
8. DIY Dried Flower Filled Paper Cones – Looking for something a little more eco-friendly for guests to toss than rice? How about dried lavender?
9. Mason Jar Lighting – Mason jars make for perfect rustic wedding lighting. Here’s how one couple used mason jars and LED lights to shine on their reception.
10. Simple Mason Jar Table Decorations – And of course, mason jars would work perfectly as vases for your rustic wedding table centerpieces.
11. Rustic Barrel Bar – Set up a rustic barrel bar complete with repurposed cork word art.
12. Succulent Corsage – Wrapped gorgeous succulents with burlap to create pretty and rustic corsages for the groom and groomsman.
13. Burlap and lace Chair Decorations – Use burlap and lace to add a bit of rustic chic to chairs that need a little decoration at your reception.
14. Table Numbers – Paint reception table numbers on vintage bottles.
15. Paper Doily Garland – Use paper doilies to create scalloped garlands you can use to decorate the ceiling.

Related on EcoSalon

6 Summer Wedding Dresses that are Absolutely Gorgeous and Eco-Friendly

Screw Tradition: Have a Sensible Wedding to Save Cash and Stay Sustainable

Now & Then: The History of the White Wedding Dress

Image: Wedding Photography by Jon Day

The post 15 DIY Rustic Wedding Ideas for Your Rustic Special Day appeared first on EcoSalon.

Eco-friendly summer wedding dresses make that special day even more special.

To help you with planning, we’ve rounded up some of our favorite eco-friendly summer wedding dresses for sustainably minded brides with differing styles and tastes. Organic fabrics, repurposed vintage materials and pre-owned dresses are all wonderful and sustainable choices for a stylish, romantic and eco conscious look.

1. Aster Eco Gown by Janay A
A beautiful bride is like the most pristine flower, and this Aster gown from Kansas City based Janay A is perfect for the part with its gorgeously cascading petals adorning the front and back of the dress. Made from hemp silk, this stunning creation is custom crafted by hand, and can be made without the one-shoulder strap if preferred.

2. Nicola Dress by Minna
This sweet and unassuming summer wedding dress is perfect for a woodland or cottage charm inspired wedding. Made from silk and Scottish lace, this beauty simply slips on and brings out natural beauty. London based designer Minna advises wearing it with a sash and headband alongside wood block sandals, a vintage clutch and shawl for the full look.

3. Dana Gown by Deborah Lindquist
This stunning gown is made from organic linen and vintage lace, with freshwater pearls and mother of pearl adorning the bodice. The rosettes on the skirt are romantic and dreamy, and perfect for a flower-themed wedding. The simplicity of linen and the opulence of the vintage lace and pearls come together beautifully in this dress.

4. Easton Dress from Blue Sky Bridal
Based in Seattle, Blue Sky Bridal sources the finest pre-owned wedding dresses and provides brides on a budget with a plethora of options for their special day. The Easton dress above is a Monique Lhuillier design in blush colored silk overlaid with ivory Alencon lace – a very elegant and romantic choice. Browse their online collection to find dresses in many different styles, sizes and price ranges, and do your part to give new life to a wedding gown.

5. Astarte by Nicole Lenzen
Named after the Phoenician goddess of fertility, the Astarte dress by Brooklyn-based Nicole Lenzen is simple, sweet and elegant. This two-piece is made from yellow cotton and adorned with a silk sash and a vintage fabric flower, making it unique and ideal for a warm summer night. 

6. Avenue Diagonal at ECO Bridal Gowns
ECO Bridal Gowns is a Colorado-based company that specializes in offering pre-owned wedding dresses at affordable prices. The online shop currently offers gowns from San Patrick, Wtoo, Venus Exclusive, Encore and Avenue Diagonal, whose classic dress pictured above is sure to make any woman feel like a princess.

Related on EcoSalon

Now & Then: The History of the White Wedding Dress

30 Quotes on Weddings and Marriage

7 Green Wedding Gifts for Eco Modern Brides & Grooms

Images: Janay A, Minna, Deborah Lindquist, Blue Sky Bridal, Nicole Lenzen, ECO Bridal Gowns

The post 6 Summer Wedding Dresses that are Absolutely Gorgeous and Eco-Friendly appeared first on EcoSalon.

An exclusive EcoSalon playlist for when it’s all about you. 

Here is a mix designed to heightened anticipation for your guests, as they wait for you, on one of the biggest days of your life. Or just another dinner party.

RSVP †1 by BehindTheWalk-In

Download the entire playlist for free here.

Tracklist:

1. The Big Ship – Brian Eno
2. Suns Hula – Monster Rally
3. Honey Moon – Monster Rally
4. Evensong – Brian Eno & Robert Fripp
5. Gewiss – Hans-Joachim Roedelius
6. Steal – Monster Rally
7. The Ocean (Part One) – Two Bicycles
8. Sunset – Two Bicycles
9. I’ll Come Running – Brian Eno
10. Albatross – Fleetwood Mac

Like what you hear? Check out our entire 10 Songs series. 

Image: Steve Snodgrass

The post 10 Songs For Your Guests, As They Eagerly Anticipate Your Arrival appeared first on EcoSalon.

A symbol of love, with a possible history of war.

“A diamond is forever.” It’s one of the 20th century’s most enduring marketing campaigns, one that inextricably linked the precious stone with marriage and commitment.

But though diamonds are a symbol of romance in the Western world, their origins are often far from romantic. Two-thirds of the world’s diamonds are mined in Africa, many in conflict zones where their sale is used to fund the operations of warlords and dictators. And although certification schemes have been set up to stop the distribution of these so-called “conflict” or “blood” diamonds, recent reports suggest that such programs have been ineffective.

With wedding season in full swing and new engagements now front-and-center on our Facebook feeds, we thought we’d look beyond the glimmer and into the realities of the global diamond trade.

But first, a little history on why diamonds are such a crucial element of new engagements. The precious stone was a scarcity until the 1870s, when large diamond mines were discovered by the Orange River in South Africa. This discovery could have drastically sunk the market for diamonds, reducing them to semi-precious gemstones, had the diamond miners not merged their interests into a single entity, which they called De Beers. According to an article in The Atlantic, De Beers proved to be the most successful cartel arrangement in modern commerce, which it achieved by controlling prices, limiting supply, and perpetuating the aspirational qualities of diamonds.

Both women and men had to be made to perceive diamonds not as marketable precious stones but as an inseparable part of courtship and married life. To stabilize the market, De Beers had to endow these stones with a sentiment that would inhibit the public from ever reselling them. The illusion had to be created that diamonds were forever – ‘forever’ in the sense that they should never be resold.

According to the article, De Beers decided to focus its marketing efforts on the United States, and in 1938 it enlisted N.W. Ayer, New York’s leading advertising agency, to create a new marketing campaign for the mighty gemstone. After conducting extensive market research, the agency suggested a promotion strategy centered around linking diamonds with romantic commitment. 

Since ‘young men buy over 90% of all engagement rings’ it would be crucial to inculcate in them the idea that diamonds were a gift of love: the larger and finer the diamond, the greater the expression of love. Similarly, young women had to be encouraged to view diamonds as an integral part of any romantic courtship.

The campaign was remarkably successful, and today the United States is the largest consumer of diamond jewelry in the world.

The Good

The global demand for diamonds has turned mining into a highly profitable but heavily abused industry, one that has played an instrumental role in both attracting investment to African nations and, ironically, funding conflicts and warfare.

In 1998, Global Witness, a watchdog group that focuses on natural resources, published the first major report linking the diamond trade with civil wars in Angola. The report brought attention to the concept of “blood diamonds” or “conflict diamonds,” diamonds that are mined in a war zone and sold abroad to finance violent conflict and human rights abuses. According to Global Witness, the diamond trade has played a major role in financing wars in Angola, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Côte d’Ivoire, Zimbabwe, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

The report and subsequent resolutions from the United Nations raised enough global awareness that in 2000, the World Diamond Council began discussing ways to block sales of conflict diamonds on the global market. The result, approved in 2003, was the Kimberley Process, a certification scheme adopted by 75 of the world’s diamond producing, trading, and manufacturing countries. In order to be accepted into the consortium, a country has to certify that its diamonds are not financing rebel groups or other entities seeking to overthrow UN-recognized governments. All invoices must contain the following statement:

The diamonds herein invoiced have been purchased from legitimate sources not involved in funding conflict and in compliance with United Nations resolutions. The seller hereby guarantees that these diamonds are conflict free, based on personal knowledge and/or written guarantees provided by the supplier of these diamonds.

The Bad

While the Kimberley Process was created with the best intentions, it soon became clear that the task of regulating the conflict diamond trade was more difficult than anticipated. Over the past decade, the Kimberley Process has been widely criticized for its ineffectiveness at enforcing regulations. In particular, NGOs and watchdog groups have been critical of the Kimberley Process decision to approve diamonds mined in the Marange fields of Zimbabwe, a zone that has reported frequent violence and human rights abuses at the hands of the military.

One by one, participants like Partnership Africa Canada and the African Diamond Council have withdrawn their support. And in 2011, Global Witness, a founding member, announced that it was leaving the organization entirely, citing the KP’s “refusal to evolve and address the clear links between diamonds, violence and tyranny.” In a public statement, Global Witness director Charmian Gooch explained the decision to withdraw:

The scheme has failed three tests: it failed to deal with the trade in conflict diamonds from Côte d’Ivoire, was unwilling to take serious action in the face of blatant breaches of the rules over a number of years by Venezuela and has proved unwilling to stop diamonds fueling corruption and violence in Zimbabwe. It has become an accomplice to diamond laundering – whereby dirty diamonds are mixed in with clean gems.

Gooch also noted:

Nearly nine years after the Kimberley Process was launched, the sad truth is that most consumers still cannot be sure where their diamonds come from, nor whether they are financing armed violence or abusive regimes.

So What Now?

As the world’s leading consumers of diamond jewelry, Americans have the power to call for change in the diamond industry – or alter the demand for diamonds entirely. One way to start is by shifting the way we think about diamonds in relation to weddings and marriage. If you’re looking to tie the knot in the near future, here are some ways you can avoid introducing conflict into the equation.

Find a jeweler with independent certification processes.

There are a handful of jewelers that specialize in conflict-free stones and metals. Brilliant Earth carefully sources its diamonds from mines with strict labor and environment regulations in Canada, Namibia, and Botswana. The Earthwise collection from Leber Jeweler also contains diamonds mined in Canada, along with recycled precious metals.

Go vintage.

Shopping for rings in antique and vintage jewelry stores can be a great way to add meaning and history to the occasion. Or, go the traditional route and ask to use a ring that has been passed down in your family.

Buck tradition.

Diamonds are the traditional symbol of commitment – but who says you have to be traditional? Rather than select the typical princess-cut platinum ring from Tiffany & Co., try exchanging alternative tokens of affection, like handmade gifts. In addition to being more personal, it’ll also be a way to ensure that your symbol of eternal love and commitment is not tainted with a legacy of war and conflict.

SEE ALSO:

Behind the Mother’s Day Flower Trade

Behind the Label: Avon’s Crusade Against Breast Cancer

Behind the Label: Tommy Hilfiger’s Promise Collection

Check out all Behind the Label columns here.

Images: Photography King

The post Behind The Label: The Diamond Engagement Ring Industry appeared first on EcoSalon.

On competitive swimming, chickens and honeybees.

Swimmer Natalie Coughlin, 29, was the most decorated female athlete at both the 2004 Athens and the 2008 Beijing Olympics. In Beijing, she became the first U.S. woman to medal six times during a single Games, giving her a lifetime total of 11. She hopes to add to that number this summer at the 30th Olympiad in London.

Besides swimming, Coughlin’s passions include food, gardening, and the five chickens she keeps in her backyard in Lafayette, California.

Avital Andrews from Sierra magazine interviewed Natalie to find out more about her gold-medal habits.

SIERRA: What do you mean when you call yourself an “urban farmer”?

Natalie: I grow a lot of my own food and have replaced a lot of our landscaping with edibles. We have 10 citrus trees, seven seasonal vegetable beds, and five chickens for eggs. We’re considering honeybees next. For a while we were thinking about goats but realized that would have been ridiculous and too much to handle between our two dogs and five chickens and my travel schedule.

SIERRA: When will you decide about the bees?

Natalie: I’ll probably wait until after the Olympics and then dive into that project. Right now we have several mason bee houses, to give them a refuge and encourage them to come pollinate all our fruits and vegetables. I definitely notice a difference this summer, versus the previous summer — a lot more of our flowers are turning into fruit.

SIERRA: How did you pick up gardening as a hobby?  

Natalie: When I was a kid, I had a 90-year-old neighbor — she could stick anything in the ground and it would grow and flourish. We’d always play in her garden. I still have the colander that she used to make potpourri from her roses. A lot of people in my life have had backyard gardens so when I was looking to buy a home, that was one of the requirements. I think it was just a desire to learn more about the seasons and about where food comes from.

The post Natalie Coughlin: An Olympic Swimmer and Urban Farmer appeared first on EcoSalon.

VideoThe simplest declarations of love can be the most meaningful.

Forget the church and the ring bearer and the rehearsal dinner, real love can be celebrated anywhere, especially on two wheels.

GREG & MEL from tony benna on Vimeo.

The post Video: A Bike Wedding appeared first on EcoSalon.

You could register at Bed, Bath & Beyond like everybody else, but that would be boring.

If you consider yourself more of a hobo bride than a Bridezilla, these registry ideas are dedicated to you. We’ve even included a china pattern and some crystal to appease your mother, and plenty of eco-selections to please the planet.

Night Owl China Pattern

From what we’ve been told, selecting china is a very big deal. As in, Charlotte York Goldenblatt would Pookipsy in her pants all over again if you and your betrothed screwed it up.

This upcycled white bone china plate by Jessica Lennox of Night Owl is eclectic, interesting, gold rimmed and hand-drawn. Her homewares shop gets its name, Night Owl, from the nocturnal hours she spends in her UK studio.

Boy Meets Hearts Poster

Every new household deserves eye candy worth hanging. That’s why we love Eric Telchin’s motifs, which are spontaneously and ingeneously crafted out of unaltered iPhone snapshots of hearts. Hundreds of heart-shaped objects make up each work; his first iPhone snapshot was inspired by a heart-shaped puddle of melted Ben and Jerry’s New York Super Fudge ice cream on his kitchen counter. Soon he was seeing hearts everywhere, in kitty litter and on dogs, just like you did in those heady early days of your courtship.

Now that you’re getting married, get your kicks where you can.

Heirloom bowl from Paloma’s Nest

The commemorative earthenware bowls and custom plates from Paloma’s Nest can make the most hardened singleton crave a husband and baby carriage. The “Milagro Heart” stamp bowl is no exception. “Milagro”, we should mention, means “miracle.”

They’ve been known to happen.

Hand Stamped Customized Spoons

Looking for something old? These vintage silverplate spoons from Trinkets818 have got you covered.

You’ll even have the tarnish and patina to prove that your love, like good silver, is everlasting.

Romanian Crystal

Romania is known for Transylvania, limber gymnasts and mouth blown, hand decorated, lead free crystal. The Dionysus Collection (named for the god of wine and “Inspirer of Ritual Madness and Ectasy”), displays a different type of wine on every glass.

May you imbibe and prosper.

Honeymoon Registry

Ask your married friends if the honeymoon period is all it’s cracked up to be. Instead of registering for traditional gifts, go paperless and shipment free with a personal event registry site like Deposit a Gift, Traveler’s Joy or Send Us Off.

Anything else is just stuff.

Images: Ariela Beal; Fernando Meyer

The post Register This: Something Upcycled, Something Cool appeared first on EcoSalon.

It starts with a sinking feeling in your stomach. The feeling doesn’t care that you have a killer dress on, or that you’ve finally discovered high heels that aren’t permanently mutilating your feet. The feeling doesn’t care that you share a mutual love of Anne Sexton with only single groomsman. It is, of course, the feeling you get when you realize you forgot the cardinal rule of wedding attendance as a single women – you didn’t flee the room like your hair was on fire when they announced the bridal bouquet toss.

The bouquet toss is a wedding tradition that originated out of an old habit of tearing the bride’s wedding dress to pieces. Back in olden-times England, the bride was considered infused in good fortune. So her guests would claw at her dress to get some good luck for themselves. As a way to stay clothed, the bride would toss her flowers at the congregation to distract them from her threads. So the singleton who caught the bouquet would also catch the bride’s good fortune and presumably, not the plague or bad teeth.

I caught the wedding bouquet – once. It was my sister’s wedding and I was 24-years-old. When my 7-year-old niece was informed that I caught the bouquet at her mother’s wedding, she laughed and offered “Well, that really worked!” She said this a few months ago, when at aged 38, I did wed.

And what does getting married in my late 30s mean? That somewhere around the age of 30, my interest in getting tossed at a wedding shifted focus from flowers to booze. For me, age 30 was The Year of Many Weddings. This was also the year when a groomsman asked me why I was still single as we walked down the aisle together. This happened because I went against type. At age 30, I should have been juggling cats in my Miss Havisham threads, not wearing a Vera Wang bridesmaid’s dress I couldn’t afford.

So when the bouquet toss was announced at this particular wedding, the atmosphere was ripe with delight and tension. Since this was a family wedding, I had the pleasure of cousins shoving me out on the dance floor into the lineup. In between leaving nail marks dragged across the floor, I grabbed my 5-year-old cousin to go up with me. I promised her that it would be delightful. Accordingly, I practically threw her at the flowers when they came our way. Let me just say – rolling around on the floor with a crying child in your arms does nothing for Vera Wang.

And yes, we know, some people like to toss the bouquet at their wedding. Others will lunge for it like it’s a life jacket on the Titanic, having lots of fun along the way. To these people – we hear you, we love you, and comment away on our lasting discomfort.

But not everyone wants to get up there and dive for flowers. So here are their thoughts and stories – most now married, some happily single, all united in their survival of tosses past. (Note: Our survey was completely scientific in that we called our friends. In that it wasn’t. At all. And partially anonymous to avoid hurt feelings. But still!)

Sara from San Francisco tells it bluntly: I once witnessed a bouquet toss done by the father of the groom who said, kid you not – microphone and all – “Will all the virgins please stand for the bouquet toss?” There was an uncomfortable murmur that ran through the crowd, and he said defensively, “What? If you’re not married wouldn’t you be a virgin?” Cue a bunch of weirded out women in their 20s and 30s not getting out of their chairs.

Anonymous from New York City reminisces: There’s always the married girl at your table that starts yelling “That’s you, that’s you!” when they ask for all the single ladies – as if you didn’t know you were single.

Kacey from Los Angeles is thoughtful: The bouquet toss really does define what kind of a woman you are (or at least where you are in life). Whether you go to the front of the pack and fight for it or stand in the back and avoid it pleasantly to appease the bride. Or, maybe you’re just a camera whore and you want to make sure you make it in the album for posterity.

Starre from Norwalk, Connecticut, is passionate: I hate the bouquet toss! It makes women seem so desperate and pathetic, I just can’t get over it. Why does anyone do this anymore? It’s just insulting in this day and age. I personally have refused to do this at weddings and the one time I was forced into it, I stood in the back, very embarrassed. Seems mean to the bride if you don’t, but makes me feel like a total schmuck to stand there, I just can’t bring myself to do it.

Anonymous from Los Angeles is fired up: No way would I do a toss after seeing grown cousins ripping each other’s hair out over bad roses, baby’s breath and a prayer. Also at my friend’s wedding, she threw a splintered bouquet, which splintered to many different people. But my splinter was the official “catch”. What was my prize? An excruciatingly embarrassing piece of wedding theater – I had to sit in a chair while the drunken guy who caught the garter got to put said lingerie on my leg (some obnoxious song in the background).

Amy from Chicago talks battle wounds: All can say is there is nothing worse than being pushed out on the floor to catch the bouquet by “well meaning” friends, (I seriously question that,) and realizing that your only competition is 13-year-old girl. Or worse, for me, once a 6-year-old girl.

Laura from Long Beach remembers: At one wedding, the bouquet was tossed into a crowd of women who let it land without anyone catching it. Then everyone just stared at it on the floor.

Andrea from Arlington, Virginia, is frugal: Flowers are too expensive to throw, who are we kidding anyway?

Anonymous from Seattle is sweet: I got married at 22 and threw the bouquet – don’t you remember grabbing for it?

And finally, we end on a positive toss. Clearly, these people know how to party .

Image: molly_darling

The post 9 Out of 10 Women Agree: Bouquet Tosses Are Torture appeared first on EcoSalon.