They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend. And for the organic gardener, it may just be luxury garden tools (and diamonds, too, of course).

 It’s official. Gardening is now as popular in urban settings as, well, overpriced luxury items. It was inevitable that the two eventually collided. You can’t stop progress. Especially when there’s fertilizer involved.

But still. It didn’t make this story in the June issue of Modern Farmer any less confusing. It appears that whether you’re a full-on kale and tomato-producing organic gardener, or just host a casual array of houseplants, there are luxury garden tools and gear just for you. If you also like absurdly expensive things, that is.

While none of the items appear to contain any diamonds—even despite the probability that a diamond-crusted shovel would give any noisy auger a run for its money—some can cost you about the same as a little sparkly piece of bling.

The article reports that West Elm now sells potting soil called “Brooklyn Blend Potting Soil.” They mean Brooklyn, New York, right? Where exactly does the dirt come from? The A train? The soil costs more than twice as much as regular potting soil from Home Depot, probably due to the hours it must take to find real dirt in Brooklyn. I’d actually pay a good amount of money to go on that excursion.

Williams Sonoma got in on the action, too, with a compost sieve that will set you back $195. It’s made from redwood. Should we be surprised that there are no consumer comments on the product’s page? I just imagine a bunch of gardeners with their $2 garden gloves in their wide-open mouths as they stare at the price tag. Any organic gardener or composter knows you can get a good sieve for under $20, or make your own for even less. They’re still suggesting we use it to filter food waste, right?

Don’t get me wrong. I’d proudly display a $345 Hermes hand spade, scraper and garden fork set like the bling it is…behind the glass door of a curio, or the locked one on my safety deposit box. You know, after I used it to plant some really nice tulips. Or, actually, dig for gold…

Keep in touch with Jill on Twitter @jillettinger

Top image: Jill Ettinger

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